Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I just saw Anna put out some fresh cookies and coffee on the sideboard in the dining room.”

  His eyes lit up. “As soon as I clean up, that’s where I’m headed.” He paused. “In twenty minutes or so, once I’ve gotten fit for company again … would you care to join me?”

  “You wouldn’t mind?” She didn’t know if she was more surprised by his offer or her willingness to accept it.

  “I wouldn’t mind at all. As a matter of fact, I would welcome your company.”

  As she stood there next to him, she became suddenly very aware of his gaze. Of his shy, reticent manner. Melody felt another startling pull toward him. “Then I will save you a seat in the living room.”

  “I won’t be long,” he promised, then left her to climb the stairs. Melody hugged herself as she settled in one of the big comfortable chairs to await him.

  A curious fluttering filled her stomach. For a moment, she worried it was the baby. It was with some surprise when she realized what that fluttering was …

  Eager anticipation. Yes. She was eagerly anticipating Levi’s return to the room. In a way she’d anticipated no other man’s presence in a very long time.

  Chapter 9

  December 21, 11:45 P.M.

  Melody was trapped. The man’s hands were crushing as he held her down. As he covered her mouth with his own. His breath was rank, his teeth bit at her lips when she tried to scream.

  He tilted his head, moved his hand over her throat. Cutting off her airway. She couldn’t breathe.

  Little by little, the pain of her body subsided as her brain concentrated on breathing. But, like the rest of her body, her lungs were losing the battle. They contracted, her brain fogged.

  It was inevitable. She was going to die.

  With that realization came an overwhelming sense of calm. No longer did she try to fight. No longer did she worry about the pain. Or what would happen to her.

  Soon, she would be in God’s hands. He would care for her, just as He cared for all of His lambs. As she stopped struggling for air, the burning in her lungs lessened. Soon, visions of green hills and pastures flooded her brain. A sense of peace calmed her. No longer would she have to fear rejection. No longer would she be alone.

  No, she’d be with her Father. He would comfort her …

  Little by little, the cement under her back didn’t feel so hard and cold. The smell of the stale beer on her assailant’s breath faded. The pain ripping through her body no longer was overwhelming. Soon, it wouldn’t matter anymore.

  And then she woke up.

  Gripping her sheets like a lifeline, Melody gasped—breathing as deep as she could, sucking in a breath. In response, her lungs burned, filling with air awkwardly. A cold, harsh sweat formed on her brow as she struggled to sit up.

  As she did, Melody welcomed the cool, fresh air into her lungs. Air meant she was okay. The biting temperature reminded her that it was not summer, it was December. She was far from the street where she’d been grabbed.

  No one was in the room but her. She was alone.

  Again, Melody inhaled quickly, then inhaled again, forcing herself to breathe in and breathe out. Steadily.

  Just like she’d learned from the social worker.

  Little by little, reality returned. She was not in Sonora. She was in Adams County, Ohio. At the Brenneman Bed and Breakfast. She was not alone on the side of the road. She was in a beautiful guest bedroom. Her door had a lock on it.

  And, best of all, she could breathe.

  With shaking hands, Melody pulled the thick layers of covers back and pulled at the neckline of her nightgown. Finally unfastened the very top button. The new inch of room allowed her to move her head and shoulders. She exhaled in relief.

  It had been this way almost every night since she’d been violated. The nurses at the hospital and the counselors at the care center had assured her that such nightmares were normal. That while her body was healing, her brain had to heal, too, and sometimes the only way to do that was to relive the incident, because during the day, when she was awake, she pushed it away.

  It hurt too much to talk about.

  Her nightgown and sheets were damp from perspiration. Oh, but those bad dreams caused her body to shake and shiver. With effort, she got to her feet and walked across the room to her robe and wrapped it around her. However, cold snatches of air whispered through the gap in the fabric. Her girth had made the robe too small.

  After searching in her suitcase, she pulled out a pair of wool socks her sister had knitted for her last Christmas. Awkwardly, she lifted her foot and twisted in order to pull them on.

  She was large now. So heavy and big with child. With her attacker’s child. With Mark Gillman’s child.

  No one else knew his name. She’d asked the policemen to keep his name from her family. What she was going through was hard enough without anyone else having a name to focus on. To her great relief, the authorities had succumbed to her wish. Rape cases were treated as confidentially as possible, she’d learned.

  One lady detective told her that she’d personally had done her best to keep Melody’s name from ever being spoken aloud.

  “You’re already a victim,” she’d said softly. “No way are you going to be maligned any further.”

  To Melody’s surprise, the lady detective had kept her word.

  Now, Mark Gillman was in jail. For at least eight years, she was told.

  Oh, not from raping her, but because he had raped and robbed another woman just two days after he’d attacked her. Unlike Melody, that woman had fought hard. So hard that she’d barely survived the beating. She’d also been vocal about her attack, had gotten a lawyer, and had testified in court.

  It was because of that woman that justice had been served. That woman’s bravery had landed that man in jail. Not Melody’s.

  Her parents had celebrated the news; justice had been served. Melody, however, had no further involvement. After all, she hadn’t had to compromise her Amish beliefs—as her family had reminded her, it was the Lord’s place to avenge her attacker, not hers. Knowing they were trying to be helpful, she had listened to them.

  Of course, they had also been attempting to shoo away the incident as well.

  Perhaps that had been the right decision. However … sometimes, in the middle of the night, she wasn’t so sure. All she knew was that the nights when she wasn’t consumed with reliving the horror and the past, her dreams turned fretful with worries about the baby and the future.

  And in her present physical state … well, there was mostly discomfort. Just weeks ago, she did her best to ignore her body’s struggle to make room for the growing baby. But, of course, that was hardly possible any longer. The baby had dropped some and was likely to be born within the next three weeks. And then, once again, her life would be changed dramatically. For better? For worse? Oh, how she wished she knew the answer!

  The rocking chair made barely a creak as she gingerly moved back and forth. She tried to keep her eyes from straying to the clock, couldn’t help herself. Midnight! That was bad news. She was wide awake.

  From experience, she knew she would now be facing lonely hours, sitting in the dark with only disturbing thoughts for company. On impulse, she moved the shade to one side, but it was a futile gesture. Nothing could be seen in the blackness.

  Perhaps coming to the inn had been a worse idea than she’d imagined. So far, she hadn’t found the solace she’d been looking for. Though Katie now seemed welcoming instead of resentful of her presence, it hardly helped—neither did the Brennemans’ curious looks.

  Or Levi Bender’s scowl. Oh, that man. He was by turns grumpy or almost friendly. They’d shared cookies together, but then later he looked so ill at ease he acted like he didn’t even want to be in the same room with her.

  Wouldn’t he be surprised to know that she didn’t blame him for his feelings at all? She, too, was at a loss. She felt embarrassed and worried and scared.

  And so completely, total
ly worthless.

  Tears welled up in her eyes again. And though she hated the weakness, Melody gave in and let the tears fall. The emotion wracking her body. Filling her soul.

  Making her gasp for air again.

  December 22, midnight

  Standing at the side of their bed, Katie Lundy tugged at her husband’s shoulder. “Jonathan, she’s crying again.”

  Slow as molasses, he opened one eye. “Who?” Before she could answer, he closed his eye again and drifted back to sleep.

  Katie patted his shoulder again. “Who do you think? Melody, that’s who. Wake up and talk to me.”

  With a sigh, he pulled one arm out from under a thick down-filled comforter. Reached for her. “I think not. It’s pitch black outside. Come to bed, Katie.”

  She pulled her hand away. “I can’t.” As he turned to his side, Katie pushed back her hair over one shoulder and turned to the door. The dull beat of anguished tears floated through the door. Each sound was filled with such pain, it nearly broke her heart. “She sounds really upset, Jonathan. I hope she’s okay.”

  Watching her for another moment, her husband slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

  “Late.”

  “How late?”

  “After midnight.” Now that she had his attention, she turned away from the door and sat on the edge of the bed. Though she usually loved falling asleep in his comforting embrace, Katie knew she wasn’t anywhere close to relaxing.

  “And you’ve been up all evening?”

  “Yes. I started working on my quilt and lost track of time.”

  “But you were so tired earlier. You acted like you couldn’t wait to crawl into bed.”

  “I know, it makes no sense to me,” she murmured, though actually she had a very good feeling about what was wrong with her. “It’s like I have no control over my body and emotions right now. Sometimes I cry for no reason, other times I feel so full of joy, I hardly can contain myself.”

  “It doesna make much sense. Do you think you’re sick?”

  “No … I think this is just a passing thing. Soon I’ll feel right as rain.”

  He looked her over, slowly, like he was examining every inch of her. “You said the coffee didn’t agree with you the other morning.”

  “I know, but today it tasted just as good as ever.” She looked away, not wanting to meet his searching gaze. “Perhaps I had a cold.”

  “But now?”

  “Now?” She fidgeted. “I feel just fine.”

  “These symptoms are worrying me.”

  He did look worried, and suspicious, too. Katie felt a lump in her throat. He, too, was most likely recalling all the changes her body had gone through with Eli. She knew she should tell him that she thought she was pregnant.

  But she just wasn’t quite ready.

  So she pushed things off again. “Oh, I hope not. Please don’t worry, Jonathan. All that’s kept me up this evening has been my quilting.” She pulled it out of the basket where she’d tossed it earlier and held it up for him to see. “What do you think?”

  He chuckled. “I think it’s a pretty thing, to be sure. But you’re going to lose your eyesight, stitching with only this lamp next to you.”

  “It’s a Christmas present for Mary. It must get done.” Carefully, she smoothed the pretty red-and-green star quilt over her lap. She knew her daughter was going to love the festive colors.

  “What you must do is sleep,” he chided gently. “Eli wakes up early, you know. He won’t care if his mother has been working on something for his sister. He’ll only care about wanting your attention.”

  “You’re right. Eli will be eager for me—at least his stomach, jah?” Even hearing his name made her smile. Yes, her baby was a wonderful-gut addition to her life. In her opinion, he made their family complete. She loved Jonathan’s Mary and Hannah like her own, and loved her husband with her whole heart. But there had been a small portion of her being that had wanted a baby of her own. She’d enjoyed her pregnancy as much as possible—and now looked, with Eli by her side, with wonder at all the world. He was a happy baby, easy-going and agreeable.

  She had so very much to praise God for.

  But she couldn’t help but contrast her good fortune with Melody. She no longer heard the woman’s cries, but that didn’t ease Katie’s conscience. She herself had spent a night or two in tears, muffling her sounds so no one else would hear her. “Jonathan, I feel so sorry for our guest.”

  “I know. But her problems aren’t ours, Katie.”

  “Now I feel so terrible … for ever resenting her staying here.”

  “It wasn’t a personal thing,” he said lightly. “I’m sure she would understand that.”

  “But still, it was wrong of me. I had a plan in my head and it was getting changed. You know how that makes me feel.”

  “Irritated.” He pulled the covers back. “Now, will you turn off the lamp and join me?”

  After carefully folding the Christmas quilt and hiding it in a drawer, she turned off the lamp and crawled into bed. Instead of feeling icy cold sheets, the bed was warm and inviting, thanks to her husband’s presence.

  As he wrapped his arms around her, she whispered, “How do you think I can help Melody?”

  “I don’t know. If she’s been crying a lot, she has more problems than we might ever be able to solve.” He paused, letting Katie know that he was still thinking. “Perhaps you could talk to her about Eli? About your experiences with labor and delivery and caring for a newborn? The only thing we do know is that she will soon be holding her own baby in her arms.”

  “That is gut advice, husband.” She had been anxious about the unknown.

  “I am full of good advice,” he teased. “Such as, we need to stop talking and go to sleep.”

  She snuggled closer and let her eyes drift shut. There, in the bedroom she grew up in, her life was full and joyous. She had so much to be grateful for.

  Why had she worried so much about a stranger taking her joy? As her husband’s deep breaths turned into gentle snores, she promised herself to reach out to their guest some more.

  After all, she was so blessed, it was the least she could do.

  Chapter 10

  December 22, 8:00 A.M.

  It had taken almost twenty-four hours to get a rental car. But just as soon as Leah had received the vehicle and signed the papers, the second half of the storm arrived. Fresh snow and an ice storm pummeled the area, causing yet another stream of accidents on I-71.

  She knew because Zack had asked her out for breakfast at the hotel restaurant and told her all about the traffic reports. “Of course, it’s up to you,” he said, his expression earnest. “But if you can spare the time at all, I’d suggest you stay another day, just to be on the safe side.”

  Leah’s stomach clenched at even the thought of waiting another two hours. “The accidents are really that bad?”

  “Everyone who’s reported in said there are cars spinning off the road left and right. And, well, there’re parts of the corridor from Louisville to Cincinnati that are notoriously bad. Every time there’s ice, we can bank on accidents. I would hate for anything to happen to you.” After meeting her gaze for a moment, he looked back at his plate, suddenly shy. “Of course, it’s your call. I’m just sayin’ …”

  “That me and my rental car might have a time of it,” Leah finished with a smile.

  Of course, she couldn’t help but smile at a lot of things about Officer Zack Littleton. First of all, he was fla-out handsome. Today, he wore jeans, a flannel shirt, and Timberlands. He looked more his age and less imposing than in his uniform.

  The light of day also illuminated his square jaw and hazel-colored eyes. And his dark blond hair. He really was cute.

  Leah knew she should have been cursing her luck, and be out of sorts. She knew she should be feeling more frustrated than ever. After all, so far nothing had gone right on the trip. But even though she did feel some of that, she also was feeling a l
ittle bit lucky.

  Something about Zack felt right. Really right.

  “Do you do this often?” she blurted. “Do you have breakfast with people you meet while working?”

  He looked horrified. “Never.”

  “Then, why me?” She hated to be so forward, but she wanted to know.

  To her amazement, a faint sheen of red stained his cheeks. “Because I think you’re pretty,” he mumbled. “And because I thought you were easy to talk to. And … I don’t know. I thought there was something that clicked between us.” He closed his eyes for a second. “Wow. I sound really cheesy.” Tossing his paper napkin on the table, he looked ready to bolt. “Would you like me to leave? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

  To her surprise, his awkwardness made her feel even more at ease. “No. I mean, no, you don’t. And thank you for the compliment.”

  “Is it a compliment if it’s true? You are really pretty. Nice, too.”

  “Thank you. I think you’re nice, too.”

  “Are you dating anyone?”

  “No. You?”

  “No. So, since it’s snowing, and the roads are icy, and since I have the day off, will you wait until tomorrow to leave?”

  It was almost like he was asking her out on a date. But she’d been burned before. Did he want more from her than she was willing to give? “Zack, what’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She didn’t appreciate it that he was playing dumb. “Come on, please tell me the truth. Why are you going out of your way for me? Why are you being so nice?”

  A flicker of doubt—and hurt?—appeared in his gaze. “I don’t have an agenda, Leah. I promise you that. Fact is, I just want to see you some more.”

  Relief made her knees weak, but valiantly, she hardened her heart. If she’d ever learned anything in her twenty years, it was to be careful. Especially with her heart.

  Carefully putting on the brakes before things sped up between them, she said, “You know, we don’t know each other at all.”