by Jean Haner
Let’s move on to examine your third number for a full understanding of the invisible design of your personality and purpose in the world. Now that you know the patterns in your overall nature and your emotional self, you can look at your work in the world, including what lessons you came here to learn and your special calling in life.
CHAPTER 5
YOUR LIFE
CHALLENGE
AND YOUR TRUE
CALLING
Now we arrive at your third number, which unveils more of your unique hidden nature and weaves into your other two numbers to create your symmetry, the beautiful design that is you!
Your third number shows how you come across when you first meet someone, and it also reveals how you do your work in the world—as well as how you do anything, really. We look at the third number to see what kinds of careers might be fulfilling in addition to those indicated by your first number, and to understand your approach to doing anything such as planning your weekend or tackling a project.
But there is an even more important pattern revealed by your third number, and it has two sides. On one side, it reveals your life challenge, that pattern of problems that you’ll continually bump up against in big and little ways throughout your life. Until you learn its theme, you may not even be aware of how all these problems have the same underlying symmetry. But now you can start to connect the dots and see how this pattern keeps appearing, from small daily problems to major issues that repeat over the decades.
At the same time, when we look on the other side of this pattern, we discover what the Chinese call your destiny or what we might define as your true calling. It represents your greatest power, your ultimate strength, and it’s what you’re evolving toward. You see, your life challenge—the pattern in all these problems you encounter along the way—isn’t bad. It’s actually what provides you the stepping-stones that lead the way to your ultimate goal. It’s only by working through this set of challenges that you can achieve your calling.
One of the reasons I have such respect for this system is that it’s not a cookie-cutter approach. This is a sophisticated understanding of the human spirit that honors its unique complexity, and there’s a glorious variety of ways it can be expressed. So in the following sections, I’m not going to wave a magic wand and proclaim, “X is your life challenge, and Y is your true calling!” Instead, I’ll describe the essence of the pattern for each number, and it will be up to you to observe and recognize how it shows up in your life and to understand where it’s leading you. You may immediately see a few ways it’s been a part of your experience and where it’s been leading you, but the more you ponder and observe over time, the more connections you’ll see. What I find for most people is that once they learn to see the pattern, they discover it showing up on a daily basis, both as their challenge and their growth into their calling.
I want to remind you that we’re only looking at your third number here; for instance, if your numbers are 7.2.1, you would read the section about One.
Third Number: One
Wisdom of the Ancestors
Because the One nature tends toward silence, it’s likely that someone’s first impression of you will be that you’re rather quiet or self-contained. You may even come across as mysterious and intriguing, with a magnetic charm that invisibly draws people to you rather than your reaching out to grab their attention.
In terms of how you do things, your need for freedom and independence will take precedence here. You prefer to just wake up on Saturday to see what you feel like doing that day, not to have it all planned out in advance. You don’t like restrictions or to be tightly scheduled, and you’d love to have the power to do things differently every time, depending on your mood!
Life Challenge
This is the issue that’s woven through your life, appearing repeatedly in both subtle and obvious ways. If One is your third number, fear can be a frequent pattern of experience. It may be that a major phobia interferes with your life, or that fear is the emotion that tends to block you time and time again. Some people who have this pattern even try to use fear to intimidate or bully others.
You may also be resisting your natural psychic ability. In our culture, intuition is considered weird and “woo-woo,” and you might be afraid you’ll be ostracized if you make it known, so you try to suppress it or keep it secret. It can also be scary to really open to the information that could be coming to you. You may worry that you’re going to start seeing dead people (or more dead people than you already are!) or that you’ll be hearing so many messages in your head that you won’t be able to handle it.
If this feels true, your work is to find ways to embrace your intuitive nature because it’s your power, not your problem. Don’t wander through it alone. Get training, advice, and guidance so that you can develop your skills and own this part of yourself.
Qualities of secretiveness are associated with the energy of One, so you may tend to be a very private person in general or even carry a secret that you struggle with over decades in your life. This same pattern can support an attitude of suspicion or even paranoia; for instance, you may think that someone has underhanded motives whether or not they actually do.
It wouldn’t be unusual for a part of your life challenge to center around issues of abandonment—a fear of people leaving you. Based on their actions, you may be quick to conclude that they have abandoned or ostracized you when in fact that might not be true. It could also be that you have repeated experiences of abandonment, and your work is to stay whole and healthy despite them.
The influence of your ancestors can be an issue for you; there may be some disharmony that you’ve inherited down through your family line that you’re trying to heal without being aware that the problem didn’t originate with you but possibly generations before. It can be a real eye-opener to explore this possibility, and many people find it’s a huge relief to see how they may have been carrying family karma but judging it as their personal issue. Just that knowledge can be incredibly liberating and allow you to relate to your life experience in a new way. If this theme of inherited issues resonates for you, therapy, energy clearing, or a form of energy work called Family Constellations may be worth exploring.
Other ways the One nature may challenge you are through a struggle with your need for freedom and flow in how you live or dealing with the consequences of your choosing an unusual lifestyle. Because the energy of One has to do with deep emotions, you may need to learn to manage how you’re swept away by your feelings or find ways to not lose your voice when you’re upset.
Your Calling
Because the One influence makes you creative, your career may be in the arts, especially music or radio (because hearing is governed by the qualities of the One); or you might paint, write, or act. However, your innovative mind can also be brilliant in the fields of science, medicine, or finance. You might end up in an unusual career or do your work in unconventional ways or at odd hours, or your job may involve international travel.
You’re intuitive and have a natural healing ability, so you could earn your living as an intuitive counselor or healer, holding a powerful space for clients to deal with their deepest and most intense feelings.
Ones are attracted to mystery, so you might have a career as a mystery writer, magician, or shamanistic healer. Along with this comes a special interest in death and dying, so work in end-of-life care and counseling—such as a funeral director or as a genealogist—are options as well.
There’s an aspect of the One nature that has to do with risk and danger, such as jobs with FEMA, other work involved with helping after a disaster, or a career that involves danger and adventure. Finally, people with a One as their third number can find themselves in fields dealing in some way with water—for instance, being a plumber, sailor, spa owner, or swimming instructor.
What the Chinese call your destiny, we might understand as your true calling, the highest power you’re evolving toward. When a One is in this p
osition, it signifies that you were born with wisdom in your bones, and your greatest strength is all within. It’s by developing your inner talents and abilities that you achieve your purpose, not by chasing new knowledge. Your job is to deepen and build on what you already have. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t study and learn from others, but that you apply what you learn to strengthening the deep power within.
The journey here is about learning to trust the process. The more you think you have to make something happen or find the answer elsewhere, the farther you travel from your greatest source, which is that deep inner flow. You have the strength of all the ancestors behind you, supporting you, and all you have to do is allow that essence to give you power, courage, and wisdom.
Third Number: Two
Divine Feminine
On first impression, people will notice your kind, helpful nature, a sweet energy about you that lets them know you’re on their side. It’s likely that upon first meeting someone, you’ll be concerned with their comfort in some way, whether it’s giving them the best seat or offering them a snack, or in a more subtle way, such as steering the conversation to be all about them.
In terms of how you do things, you’re thoughtful and want to help. Unless your other numbers modify this one, you’re not likely to be a risk taker, and you strive to complete whatever project you’re working on because you’d hate to let someone down. You’re the one others can rely on to stay with something till it’s finished and to be sure everything’s taken care of. You may not like to be rushed or pressured in your work, and you have the potential to get a bit too bogged down in all the details, so extra time lets you go at a slower pace that will allow this.
Life Challenge
This is the issue that’s woven through your life, appearing repeatedly in both subtle and obvious ways. If Two is your third number, the theme of your challenge may center around taking care of other people. It may be that you’re overly responsible and too other-directed, so you continually sacrifice your own needs to help everyone else or too often act as a rescuer. At the same time, it’s possible that life arranges to put you in this position so that it’s less of a conscious choice and more what you’ve been handed to deal with.
But either way, it’s essential to work on your boundaries. It can help to visualize Mother here, which represents the Two nature. The stereotypical matriarch is always on call, tending to her family’s needs and putting her own needs last. But if Mother works herself into the ground and doesn’t take care of herself, then she’s no good to anyone. She needs to learn to be able to set limits—to say no sometimes and not feel guilty about it. A healthy mom can delegate, ask for help, and accept it when it’s given.
If Two is in this position for you, you may have a pattern of over-giving and/or under-receiving, and it will be your job to work on bringing that ratio into balance. Part of this involves watching how often you fall off your own to-do list in favor of taking care of others, rather than exhibiting good self-care. It may be that you sacrifice your needs or feel so obligated when anyone asks you to do something that you accept the task even if you don’t want to. You might feel guilty when you do something you enjoy, worried that you’re being selfish. You could have the mind-set that you have to do the work all by yourself, and the thought of asking someone to pitch in doesn’t even occur to you. Or like a resentful mother, you feel that even if someone does help out, you just end up having to do it over again because they didn’t do it right, so you may as well take care of it yourself the first time!
So you’ll also need to be mindful of just how receptive you’re being. People may be trying to help, but you may not recognize their efforts because you’re carrying expectations about what that assistance has to look like. Perhaps your disappointment that nobody ever steps up to lend a hand has given you such a negative attitude that no one wants to try anymore. Occasionally, someone with a Two in this position isn’t aware of how much they’ve started to sound like a victim—nagging, complaining, or feeling sorry for themselves—and people begin to react unkindly or just tune them out.
Because the energy of Two also represents home and putting down roots, there could be a struggle with being able to feel a real sense of home for yourself, or you might not feel connected with a community of friends as much as you’d like to. Personally and professionally, you can be uncomfortable having to go it alone. If you run your own business, you’ll long for someone to collaborate with. In your personal life, you may yearn for a partner you can come home to and share your day with. At the extreme, people with this quality even seem needy or selfish, or their partner complains that they demand support but don’t offer the same in return.
You may also have had a difficult relationship with your own mother when you were growing up that still affects you today, even if your experience with her has improved. This pattern may also be expressed as challenges concerning being a parent yourself. For instance, one woman who never wanted to have children but got pregnant accidentally says that being a mother was profoundly transformational and made her everything she is today.
There can be issues with low self-confidence; while these feelings will always come up for you, you’re completely in charge of how seriously you listen to them. It’s really your conscientious nature showing, but too often you can let worry slow you down or keep you stuck.
Finally, do watch for tendencies to give away your power. This is a more extreme version of the pattern of over-giving, one in which you may disempower yourself to try to build up someone else, allow someone to dominate you, or loyally stay in an unhealthy relationship long past the time you should have left.
Your Calling
You may find that no matter what your job description is, people tend to come to you for support, and you’re also likely to be the one always offering to help because it feels so natural to do so. Anything from administrative support all the way to upper-management positions is a good fit because you take such great care of everyone, and your compassionate approach makes people happy to work for you.
Other possible careers could be in real estate because one theme here has to do with home; another theme is food, so you might excel as a chef or nutritionist. You may even end up as a collector because this influence has to do with accumulating wonderful objects that bring you pleasure.
You can be an excellent teacher because you’re so good at feeding information in the ways your students need to receive it. Since you’re naturally devoted to helping others, careers in psychology, social work, nursing, or caregiving can also be fulfilling.
What the Chinese call your destiny, we might understand as your true calling, the ultimate power you’re evolving toward. When your third number is a Two, your purpose in life is to become what can be defined as the Divine Feminine, that strong compassionate presence that offers a safe and accepting embrace for anyone, no matter who they are. This energy has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine; instead, it has to do with the spirit of devotion.
In Chinese culture, this is the essence of Quan Yin, the Taoist goddess who’s the embodiment of mercy, love, and compassion, yet is also a fearless protector. It’s believed that her name originated from the Sanskrit word Avalokitesvara, which can be translated as “the One Who Hears the Cries of the World.”
You’re here to hold a powerful place for others, one that’s soft and receptive but at the same time is also the strongest source of safety. You’re able to allow the truth of someone’s being and still stay grounded. Your journey in life is toward achieving this powerful way of service without ever becoming a servant.
Third Number: Three
Agent of Change
People will find you bright and enthusiastic on first meeting and may consider you quite outgoing, although that could change as they get to know you better, depending on what your other numbers add to the mix. You’ll probably appear confident and ready to take action if needed, although some individuals can perceive you as too ready, even a
bit pushy, depending on their own personalities.
In terms of how you do things, you like to stay organized. You’ll be the one to have the weekend all planned out by Friday because it just makes sense that way. You’ll value the logical approach to anything and appreciate structure in life, with to-do lists and a well-organized home and office.
Life Challenge
This is the issue that’s woven through your life, appearing repeatedly in both subtle and obvious ways. The basic theme here has to do with a push upward, like plants sprouting through the ground in the spring. This energy is the drive to be alive, that sense of urgency of something wanting to be born.
This push is so strong in nature that a tiny green shoot can break through concrete. For people, it shows up as Warrior energy, ready to launch into action. Your first thought may be to do, to go for it, rather than sit and think or wait and see. That strong drive can be perceived by others as pushy or aggressive behavior, when to you, it’s obvious that action is required, so let’s get on with it! There can even be such a compelling urge to act that you disregard others’ needs or do something impulsive that you later regret. You may at times blurt things out without thinking about others’ feelings, be confrontational, or be too competitive and driven to win.
There is the potential for being judgmental here, leaping to conclusions about others without giving them a chance. Alternatively, you may feel so worried about the judgment of others that you keep your head down and hinder your own progress.
You’ll probably react in frustration and anger too easily, or even struggle with depression. And unless your other numbers modify this, your impatient energy can incline you to be a bit twitchy, to only be able work on short-term projects, or even to struggle with attention disorders such as ADD/ADHD. This can also be experienced as compulsiveness—for example, workaholism or compulsive exercise—or a hyper-focus that means you can’t stop playing computer games far into the night. It also creates the potential for addictive tendencies.