Touching the Dark

by Jane A. Adams

  She felt irritated with herself that he should have disturbed her as deeply as he had; that he had shaken her confidence to the extent that she thought twice now before going out alone.

  Alec’s mobile rang, breaking their peace and from the kitchen she heard him groan.

  Naomi laughed. “Give it here, I’ll tell them you left town.” She strained to hear his side of the conversation wondering if the call meant an end to their evening, but Alec’s brief responses gave her little clue.

  A moment later he came through into the living room. “Tally’s Palmer’s back,” he told Naomi “and she’s asked to speak to me.”

  *

  After Jack’s assault and Alec’s inability to trace either him or Tally, a message with a crime number attached had been left at Tally’s flat asking her to get in touch the moment she returned. It had been left in such a manner that no mention of Jack Chalmers had been made, that she should assume, as in fact she had, that the crime number related perhaps to an attempted burglary. Tally had bitten, arriving back home that evening she had called the police immediately and asked for D.I Friedman as per the note.

  “At least eat first,” Naomi said. She could feel Alec itching to get on. She knew how much this lack of progress had irked him.

  Alec sighed. “All right,” he said reluctantly then. “It’s a good idea to let her stew for a while anyway, especially if she’s just got back. Any luck she’ll be tired, jet lagged and ready to talk.”

  It was after ten when Alec called at Tally’s flat. She looked pale, dressed in tracksuit bottoms and an old t-shirt as though she had dressed again hastily after going to bed.

  “What’s it all about?” she wanted to know. “No one seemed able to tell me anything when I phoned. Did someone try to break into the flat?”

  “No,” Alec told her. “Nothing like that. Miss Palmer, I’ve come about your friend Jack.”

  Tally listened in shocked silence as Alec recounted his visit to the advice centre and subsequent attack on Naomi. As he finished she was shaking her head as though to deny his words.”

  “No,” Tally said. “I can’t believe Jack would do a thing like that.”

  “What he did is not in doubt, Miss Palmer. Neither, it seems is why.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’ t understand.”

  “Oh I think you do. This Jack Chalmers, this friend of yours, seems to have taken your welfare very much to heart. While I might understand his motives, there’s no way anyone could condone his actions.”

  She stared at him, the rapidly she shook her head again. “You’re assuming I...No, no, Detective Friedman, I had no idea Jack would do this. I like Naomi, she came here with the best of intentions, I know that and it was good to reminisce with someone like...Jack gets carried away sometimes, I knew that. But I never thought he’d threaten Naomi. Why should I think that?”

  “He made no threats towards her. Gave you no indication that he had any grievance with Naomi Blake?”

  She hesitated for a fraction too long and Alec pushed her hard. “Miss Palmer, if there’s anything he might have said to you, I want to know about it. Now.”

  She looked away. “It wasn’t anything,” she told Alec. “Nothing really. But that first time Naomi came here to return some photographs, Jack was here then. He said he didn’t like her. Didn’t trust her or something. I think he felt she was taking Simon’s side, pleading his case.” She turned back to meet Alec’s gaze. “You know about Simon, of course.”

  “I know about the arrest.”

  It crossed Alec’s mind that he was not the one who should be sitting here, questioning Tally Palmer. That his personal involvement was far too deep. His role in some way parallel to Jack’s, a friend coming to the defence of a friend. A lover trying to protect a lover. He knew that should the worse happen and the situation flare again, he would have to hand it on, but for now...” Did you feel that his words constituted a threat, Miss Palmer?”

  “No. No threat. I swear I didn’t think anything like that. Jack would say things, would be suspicious of strangers. He’s always been like that, over protective. Worried about me being hurt.” She shrugged awkwardly. “I’ve not seen him since that night Naomi came.”

  “Not at all?”

  She hesitated and he got the impression that she was genuinely searching in her memories. Finally she told him, “One time more. I’d done a talk at the school. Ingham Comp. I was on my way home and stopped off at a local shop, the newsagents of the corner of Turnbull Street. When I got back to the car Jack was there, waiting for me. I told him I was going away for a while.”

  “And what did he say?”

  She shrugged awkwardly, uncomfortable beneath Alec’s insistent gaze. “He said...it was just a joke, I was sure of it...he said that he’d just have to pay more attention to Naomi while I was away, then, wouldn’t he?”

  Alec questioned her further, but she was strangely reticent when it came to disclosing anything useful about Jack.

  How long had she known him? Since childhood.

  How did she get to know him? He lived close by.

  Where did Jack live now? She really wasn’t sure. They never discussed things like that.

  That final statement had Alec choking in disbelief. “Miss Palmer, excuse me, but you’ve known this man all your life, he regularly interferes in your most private affairs. He’s obviously a close friend, perhaps more than a close friend...”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m suggesting that you and Jack Chalmers may well have been intimate. Still may be for all I know.”

  “I’ve been seeing Simon Emmet.” Tally protested.

  “And that means?” She said nothing so he continued. “Forgive me, but Jack’s actions are more like those of a jealous lover intent on protecting his interests than they are of a simple friend.”

  And Alec’s own interests, he realized, were not so very different.

  “If you’re suggesting I played around while I was dating Simon you’re dead wrong. I loved Simon.” She sighed heavily and slumped back in her chair. “Maybe...maybe I still do,” she admitted sullenly. “But whether I do or not has nothing to do with you. With you or with Jack.”

  “Jack thinks it does. He thought it did enough to make threats to a woman who could not defend herself. Who...”

  To his surprise, Tally laughed harshly. “I don’t see Naomi as that incapable,” she said.

  “I think you’re failing to see the seriousness...”

  “Oh, I see the seriousness, I just...” she gave up trying to explain, gesturing her frustration with outstretched slender hands. “I’m tired, Detective Friedman. I want to sleep. I’ve told you all I know and as far as I can make out I’ve done nothing wrong, nothing you can accuse me of, so if you don’t mind, I’ll see you out.”

  “I want Jack’s address,” Alec told her. Where can I find him? Where does he go when he’s not sleeping in your bed?” He in turn leaned back in his seat and waited. Tally stood exasperated.

  “I want you to go,” she told him, pronouncing the words slowly and carefully as though talking to a deliberately wilful child. “This is not a formal interview and you’ve not charged me. This is my home and I can ask you to leave. I’m not asking, I’m telling you. Go now.”

  “Jack’s address,” Alec repeated.

  “You want me to report you?”

  “If you like. You want me to arrest you?”

  “With what?”

  “Obstruction would do for a start. I’m sure we can think of something else later. This is an enquiry into a serious incident, Miss Palmer. Jack forced his way into Naomi Blake’s flat, assaulted her. Made threats. So far we’ve kept most of that out of the press, but you’ve a famous name, Miss Palmer. I’m sure there’d be considerable interest in the actions of one of your so called friends.”

  “Jack’s not the only one to be making threats then,” Tally said angrily.

  “No,” Alec agreed. “Maybe not, though as this is, a
s you so rightly point out, just an informal chat, lets’ think of them as observations, for the time being shall we? Now, where am I likely to find Jack.”

  Furiously, as though forcing out the words, she gave him an address and the names of a couple of clubs that Jack frequented. Alec didn’t believe her. She was stalling, he thought, but he knew instinctively that he’d pushed far enough tonight. Best to leave her with a little thinking time.

  “You’ll be hearing from my solicitor,” she told him coldly as he took his leave.

  “As you like, Miss Palmer,” Alec told her. “I shall look forward to it.” He knew, even exhausted, as she evidently was that she’d get very little sleep that night.

  *

  When Alec Friedman had gone, Tally tried to go back to bed but could not settle. Impatiently, she pulled on her robe and went into the kitchen to make tea, drinking where she stood by the kitchen counter, staring out through the slats in the half open blind.

  “Where are you, Jack,” she whispered. “Where did you go to. Where did either of us go to?”

  Beside the kitchen door hung the one telephone she had in her apartment. It was smooth and white and minimal against the bare white walls. Her hand hovered over the receiver for a moment then dropped back to her side, thought the desire to call Simon, tell him to come over and that everything would be all right was almost too much to bear. Shocked, she realized that for the first time in her life she was missing someone more than she was missing Jack...and neither she nor Jack could accept that. Whenever she had tried to replace Jack in her life or even bring another soul to stand beside his in importance, Jack, or Tally herself – and the truth was she could not always tell the two apart – had scuppered the attempt. Destroyed the relationship. On occasion, destroyed far more.

  And she had lied to Alec Friedman. She knew exactly what Jack was capable of.

  *

  At fourteen Tally had her first boyfriend. He was three years older than her and going out with a girl from his own year. Two timing with Tally.

  Tally was infatuated. Miles was her first big crush and she threw herself heart and soul into the relationship, unsatisfactory though it was to have to keep it secret. He kept promising her that he would finish with the other girl, kept coming up with new excuses why he hadn’t yet done so and Tally, in love, she thought, for the very first time let him get away with it. Her life was coloured by the joy of stolen moments with Miles. Quick kisses on the way home from school. The odd evening in the back of his dad’s car when she had told Rose she was studying with a friend. Inexperienced groping in dark shop doorways on nights his other girlfriend thought he was out with the lads.

  It was exciting and it was frustrating and it was the first time that Jack had taken second place in Tally’s life.

  Keeping things from Rose was one thing, but keeping Jack out of the picture was quite another. It was only a matter of time before he began to question her more frequent absences from home; notice that she wore make up when normally she rarely bothered and that she seemed excited by something other than himself.

  “Who is it?” Jack questioned her one night. “Tally. I know you’re seeing someone, you come home stinking of him.”

  She glared at him. “I’ve got homework to do Jack, let me get on with it.”

  “Not until you tell me who it is.”

  Tally knew that she could only hold out for so long but she was determined that she would keep Jack guessing for as great a time as she could. Miles had told her that his parents would be away that weekend and suggested she come round. Asked, gloated Tally, that she go round to see him, not that other girl that he still hadn’t got rid of. Tally was under no illusions as to what Miles wanted her for. Virginity had to be abandoned at some point in her life and if that time was now and the place Miles’ bed then so be it. The thought excited and frightened and the last thing she wanted was for Jack to interfere. So far she and Miles had confined themselves to half clothed groping as occasion and circumstance allowed. He had seen Tally’s breasts, fondled them, sucked and chewed on her nipples in a way that both excited and appalled and once, on the back seat of his dad’s car, he had persuaded her to suck him off, though she had chickened out at the last minute and he had come all over her hair and his dad’s upholstery. The rest of that evening had been spent cleaning up.

  Even to Tally’s inexperienced mind, sex play with Miles was a little iffy, but, she decided, given the right circumstances and a less risky scenario she was willing to bet that it could be worthwhile.

  She had her doubts of course. Friends in school said that he was only ever after one thing and that he collected girls like an old time hunter collected trophies. Tally had to allow that much of that was probably true. She had heard his official girlfriend complaining that he slept around and threaten to get rid of him many times, but he always seemed to smooth things over. For Tally, this seventeen year old with green eyes and dark, swept back hair and a muscular definition that was universally envied was just perfect and the fact that he had noticed her, selected her from among the waiting crowd made Tally feel like she was walking in the clouds.

  Saturday took an age to come and Jack hassled every hour that she was with him. She spent the day time in town with Rose – anything to get away – and came home for long enough to change and have tea before setting off for Miles’s house. If Rose thought she might be overdressed to be doing homework with a girlfriend, she didn’t say and if Jack thought her to be distinctly underdressed for decency she didn’t care. This was a night, Tally swore, that she would remember for the rest of her days.

  “I’ll just follow you,” Jack told her.

  “Don’t even think about it. I’m entitled to have friends and you have to learn when to butt out.”

  “He’s not a friend. He’s just using you.”

  “Oh, and what would you know about it. You don’t even know who he is.”

  “Anyone that wants you to dress like that can’t be any good.” He frowned at her short blue skirt and the little silver top that barely covered her bra. “You look like a slag and a cheap one at that. Do you think mum will let you out of the house dressed that way?”

  “She won’t see.” Tally reached for her coat and fastened it over her clothes. “Satisfied?”

  “No. I know what’s underneath.”

  “What do you think you are, Jack? My dad? Some know it all vicar? Everyone wears stuff like this.”

  Jack said nothing, he turned away from her and gazed out of the window across the fields where they had played as children.

  “I’ve got to go,” she said, but Jack ignored her and Tally found herself swallowing down the tears, Jack’s indifference, real or feigned was far worse than anything he might have said.

  When Miles opened the door he was already naked from the waist up and Tally was momentarily taken aback. She had wanted to be coaxed and romanced now that they had the time for it, not met by a man half stripped for action. But she smiled at him and he led her through to the living room, pulling her down beside him on the couch.

  “Thought you might change your mind,” he said.

  Tally shook her head.

  “Glad you didn’t.” He kissed her, his hands moving to unfasten the buttons on her coat. She shrugged out of it, wondering if she could get it out from underneath her before it creased, but he was already pushing her back against the arm of the sofa, grunting with approval as he saw what she was wearing.

  “Nice,” he said. “Easy to get into.” He pushed up her skirt and pulled at her knickers, dragging them down to her knees before thrusting one hand hard between her legs. Startled, Tally drew back. “Hey,” she said. “Slow it down a bit.”

  Miles just grinned at her. “Why?” he asked, “we both know what you came here for.”

  “No, I mean, yes but not like this.”

  “No, I mean yes,” he mocked. “That’s what they all mean, Tally.”

  He leaned over her again, his mouth harder on hers this tim
e and the hand still rummaging between her legs, trying to push his fingers inside. With his other hand he pulled up the silver vest top and grunted again in further satisfaction to find that her bra fastened at the front with a little blue clasp. He freed her breasts and fondled them roughly, the fingers of his other hand still pushing between Tally’s tight clasped thighs.

  “Please. I don’t want to anymore.” She was aware of how weak that sounded, how naïve, but he was hurting her, frightening her. This was not the scene she had dreamed about all week. Not the way it was meant to be. She felt humiliated as well and untidy, with her knickers round her knees and her skirt pushed up to her waist and somehow those things combined with the being scared and became part of the same whole.

  She tried to wriggle away from him but there was nowhere to go. He had her pinned tightly against the arm of the sofa and one hand pressed down on her shoulder while the other tried to prise her legs apart. He withdrew that hand for a moment, reaching for Tally’s knickers and pulling them further down towards her ankles. She reacted instinctively to stop him, leaning forward and he took that opportunity to grab both of her legs and pull her further down onto the sofa, pinning her right leg beneath his knee and pushing his other leg between her thighs. Tally screamed and tried to hit out at him, her hands clawed to scratch his face. He grabbed both her hands in one of his and held them fast, then moved the other down to unzip his flies. Tally screamed again, knowing what he was about to do. She fought him hard, bucking her hips and jerking her arms back but it was no good. He was totally aroused and absolutely determined he would get what he wanted from her. He positioned himself over her and pushed hard.