Heavenly Hijinks

by Ashley Ladd

  She barely acknowledged that she was a Scorpio beyond finding it mildly amusing that she was supposed to be the bitchy hard-ass of the zodiac, the sultry sex goddess.

  Well, she was sexy when she danced. And Scorpios were creative.

  Under Leo’s intense gaze she felt ultra-sexy, like a goddess, and she wasn’t even dancing. She shook herself. His insanity was obviously catching.

  She made up her mind and cleared her throat. “If we hire you, will you promise not to attack any more defenseless TVs?”

  Frowning, Leo leaned forward and the sway of his silky hair brushed his lean cheek. “Please explain, what is this TV? I’ve only seen them from afar.”

  Clestie stared at him long and hard, seeking a trace of mirth or something to tell her he was joking. But she saw no snippet of guile in his clear tawny eyes. “TV is short for television.”

  God help her, she couldn’t believe she was doing this. Didn’t everyone know about TV? “It’s an electronic device that transmits signals—pictures—from one central place like a studio, to a lot of other places.”

  At a loss and feeling especially inarticulate, she splayed her hands wide. Okay, she needed the internet to look up an explanation. But she was scared he’d hack up her laptop as well. Then she’d have to kill him.

  Okay, that wouldn’t work. She would keep her laptop hidden. The baby had cost almost two grand and had all the newest bells and whistles.

  “There’s no chance someone will pop out.”

  Clestie passed a hand over her hair and stole a glance at their gorgeous new employee. His sensual voice. His dreamy eyes. His sexy smile.

  Elizabeth lowered her lashes and snuck another peek at Mr. Universe. “Petunia knew what she was doing.”

  Clestie’s nerves jumped. “Let’s hope he does, too.” She looked at their new associate and about swallowed her tongue. He was licking his hand and then brushing it over his

  39 Ashley Ladd

  hair. “Maybe this isn’t such a grand idea.” The sensual sweep of his long pink tongue sent serious heat coursing through her pussy and she shivered. “Bizarre.” Erotic…

  “Turn up the air conditioning, honey.” Elizabeth fanned herself. “Whew! I hope there’s lots of cold water for the shower.”

  A sensual, primitive beat seeped through the walls from the tae kwon do studio next door. The exotic sound was a perfect rhythm for a little mattress mambo, and Leo’s well-honed body looked made for lots of mattress mambo.

  Clestie girded herself and ventured back to the lion’s den. She deliberately smacked her sandals on the floor to give warning of her approach. Then she sat down across from him as if everything was normal and picked up the application. “When can you start?”

  “Right away. The sooner I can get home, the better.”

  Home? She leaned forward and frowned. “Why do you want a job here if you’re anxious to leave?”

  He took her hand in his and covered it with his other one. “Dear lady, I need your help and I’m willing to reciprocate. I will teach you the art of reading the zodiac.”

  She wanted to throw up her hands in exasperation. She pointed at the next area of concern on his application. “Where do you live?” The address section lay starkly blank.

  He shifted in his seat and averted his gaze. Finally he said, “I don’t have anywhere to stay. I’ve been sleeping by the shore since my arrival a few weeks ago, except for the last two nights when I was offered a warm bed.”

  “So you’re homeless?” She perused him again. He didn’t look underfed or ravaged by the elements, even if he wasn’t exactly a fashion statement. Just the opposite, he looked shiny and polished, and he glowed as if he’d been waited on hand and foot all his life.

  There was absolutely no way she could let him sleep on the beach or under the I-95 overpass. “We have an extra room in the apartment upstairs. You can stay here until you earn enough to afford your own place.”

  Across the room, a glass jar shattered with a ferocity that made Clestie jump and clutch her throat. To her horror, some unnamed animal’s innards spewed onto the floor in a sticky greenish puddle.

  Elizabeth glared at her. “Sorry. I’ll clean it up.” She mouthed, “Are you nuts?”

  Maybe.

  She turned her attention back to the golden vision before her and tried not to make eyes at him. It took every ounce of her poise to appear aloof and professional.

  She scraped her chair back and rose to her feet. “I’ll take you to your room. We’ll air it out before you move in.” As she led him up the curvy staircase, she was intensely aware of how closely he followed behind her.

  When she showed him into the small room Petunia used to put her in when she visited, she gulped at the thought of him on her old bed, wrapping himself up in her

  40 Heavenly Hijinks

  old sheets. It looked too frilly, too pink, to house all his scrumptious masculinity. She inventoried the room quickly, vowing to replace the unicorn lamp, the bed ruffles and the festooned bottles of flowery-scented perfume her aunt had stashed on top of the fairy-stenciled dressers. She murmured apologetically, “I’ll get more appropriate bedding tomorrow.” She’d also look into the cost of hiring a painter to cover the magenta walls with a nice, soothing white.

  An amused smile curved his lips as he gazed at the lacy bedspread. “That would be most appreciated, but please do not put yourself out on my behalf.”

  “It’ll be my pleasure.” And she truly meant it. All her latent homemaking instincts clamored to pamper this man. Funny, she’d always been perfectly content to let Richard fend for himself and had never felt the desire to tidy his apartment or make home-cooked meals for him.

  She pushed the unwelcome thought aside. She didn’t want to think about Richard, didn’t like feeling guilty about him when she wasn’t even engaged. Was it her fault he’d been dragging his heels in the proposal area? The longer he delayed, the less sure she was that she wanted him to propose.

  But it wasn’t like Leo was husband material. Richard was a doctor and he came from good, solid stock. And he was well acquainted with Armani, Prada and Gucci. Speaking of clothes, she couldn’t very well let her new employee work in his loincloth. And no one would take him seriously in his horrible plaid outfit.

  “Uh, do you have any other clothes you can wear for work?” She didn’t hold out much hope, since she doubted he kept a wardrobe stashed under the breakers at the beach.

  He held out the tail of his tartan shirt. “This isn’t a proper outfit?”

  She bit her tongue to hold back a laugh and shook her head. “Not precisely career apparel.” Not that a psychic or astrologer would work in an Armani. She envisioned her aunt in her free-flowing dresses with fresh flowers in her hair. Daisies had been her favorite. But did her competition dress so retro?

  “What do you usually wear to work?”

  “When I minister to my charges?” A wicked grin spread across his to-die-for face. “My loincloth…sometimes.”

  She about choked on her tongue and started to cough. Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Idiot that she was, she’d had to ask…

  “Okay, it’s shopping time.” Her favorite time. Well, next to dancing. “Time to outfit you.”

  A flush crept into Leo’s cheeks. “I don’t have any silver or gold with which to pay.”

  With a smile she waved off his reticence. “Don’t worry. I have plenty of plastic.”

  He turned and gazed at her beneath his drawn brows. “Plastic?”

  He really was a babe in the woods. She waved an example before his face. “Credit cards.”

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  His muscles tensed and he stood straight and tall. Proudly he thrust out his chin. “I appreciate your generous hospitality, but I cannot accept so much charity.”

  Oh no, had she bruised his male ego? She was tired of tiptoeing around Richard—she didn’t want to have to tiptoe around another overly sensitive man. “Employers often provide their staff wi
th uniforms. It’s one of the perks. If you need anything else, consider it an advance on your wages.”

  His expression cleared and he nodded. “Very well. Thank you.”

  She inclined her head. “Come on.”

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  Chapter Six

  Clestie slung her purse over her shoulder, freshened her lipstick, fluffed her hair and squared her shoulders. She likely needed an entire bottle of Prozac before facing the Galleria Mall on the weekend.

  Thinking about the crowded mall, she sucked in several deep breaths as she did before a performance. She rejoined Leo. “Are you ready?”

  She stifled a chuckle at the nerdy outfit. He looked as if he should be wearing a matching beanie complete with a propeller. “Follow me.”

  “To the ends of the Earth.” Leo bowed slightly.

  His warm voice vibrated down her spine and tingles started in her toes and worked their way up her legs to her pussy. His voice filled her with impossible, forbidden longings.

  Passionate longings.

  Well, she was a passionate Scorpio, as he kept reminding her with every heated glance, every sensual smile. Unable to stop herself, she swept the tip of her tongue over her lips, tasting the waxiness of her lipstick.

  “Do you have a favorite store? Brand?” Her gaze drifted to his groin. “What size are you?”

  Probably an extra large…

  “Size?” Leo looked down at himself. “Brand?”

  She did her best to control her naughty thoughts and tamp down her escalating estrogen. “Size thirty waist?” And hubba-hubba shoulders.

  She ticked off Richard’s favorite designers on her fingers. “Armani? Klein? Gucci?”

  “Cassandra makes my robes. When I wear clothes.”

  Gulp. The earth quaked under her feet. “You live in a nudist colony?”

  “My fur keeps me warm.”

  “Oh yeah,” she murmured.

  She clicked her SUV’s keyless entry unlocking the doors. Leo’s image slid across the glossy shine of her vehicle as he moved quickly to open her door.

  Quickly, she stepped away, afraid of blazing into a raging inferno. She tripped and pushed her door wide into the street. An oncoming truck blasted his horn and veered sharply as Leo grabbed her to his chest.

  “’Tis dangerous on your paths. They’re much traveled.”

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  Her heart thumped so hard it was deafening to her ears. She tried to shake off her annoying ultra-awareness of him but ended up sighing against his warm chest. “Just wait ‘til you see the mall.”

  As she slid into the driver’s seat, she caught a glimpse into the neighboring tae kwon do studio, and froze. The tae kwon do master was almost as beautiful and graceful as Leo, but whereas her lion possessed a golden beauty, the instructor had swarthy good looks. He catapulted into the air, flipped twice and made a perfect landing. Then he cartwheeled across the mat, putting her dancing to shame. She might have to invest in some martial arts sessions.

  Leo’s gaze followed hers and he frowned. He pulled his door closed with extra emphasis. “A friend of yours?”

  Turning away from the shop, Clestie shook her head as she turned the ignition and the engine purred to life. “We’ve not met. I was just admiring the way he moves.”

  Leo’s frown deepened and his forehead creased. His eyes lost their glow as they narrowed. When his nostrils flared, she could almost smell the animal muskiness of him.

  “I’m a dancer. I’m a sucker for well-honed bodies that know how to move.”

  Leo’s expression softened and he relaxed back against his seat. His breathing slowed and he flipped his hair behind his shoulders.

  Beams of sunlight bounced off that glorious hair like spun gold. Clestie just wanted to wrap herself up in its decadent silkiness and lose herself.

  Yikes! She gave herself a mental slap.

  She tore her glance from Leo and checked oncoming traffic. As she eased into a gap left by a metro bus slowing to pick up a passenger, she mumbled, “Besides, my boyfriend might get jealous if I ogled another man.”

  Like she hadn’t almost devoured Leo several times over, imagined hot sex with him and had his scent engraved onto her pheromones?

  Infatuation. It was just a minor case of short-lived, non-lethal infatuation. As long as Richard didn’t get wind of it…

  Like he wouldn’t with Leo under the same roof, in the room next door?

  She felt rather than heard a growl rip from Leo’s lips. When she could safely take her gaze off the heavy traffic for a second, she snuck a glance at her passenger and recoiled. He looked ready to pounce.

  “You’re spoken for?” His voice was much more refined than his glare.

  Or was she only imagining his glare?

  She put a brake on her thoughts and her foot twitched and slammed on the SUV’s brakes with a screech. Whining, screaming brakes shrilled behind her and then several horns blared, she looked in her rearview mirror, a dark-haired man waved a fist at her.

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  She mouthed, “Sorry,” and resumed a normal speed. Once she had caught her breath and her heart was functioning again, she ventured, “We’re not officially engaged, if that’s what you mean, but he’s hinted he’s going to ask me to marry him.”

  Leo’s steady stare bored into her. “You don’t sound very happy. Is it an arranged betrothal?”

  “No. No. I l-love Richard.” But was she in love with him? All-out giddy, rock-your-world, crazy in love?

  Had she ever been in love with Richard?

  If she was, then why did every ounce of her flesh long to linger against Leo’s? Why did the oxygen in the car feel so depleted just because he was sharing it? And why did her cells feel like imploding every time he touched her?

  She didn’t want to dwell on it. So he was amazing-looking—okay, he had the best body she’d ever seen, and coupled with that hair? Whew!

  Her temperature catapulted one hundred percent. She cranked up the AC and turned the vent toward her face. Now she just needed chill air to blow on the rest of her superheated body.

  Even though it was less than a twenty-minute ride to the Galleria, it felt as if she was trapped inside the vehicle with him for at least two hours.

  She pinned her armor in place and climbed out of the SUV. Leo was immediately at her side, closing her door and being attentive, so that she couldn’t get her equilibrium. She had never been so aware of any man, of her own femininity, and it took every iota of her strength not to lean into the man and lift her lips for his kiss.

  Crazy…

  “What’s crazy?”

  Her eyes flew wide open. She’d voiced that? Eek! “Uh, th-the crowds are always crazy here. See? Even the parking garage is a zoo.”

  She’d have to padlock her tongue!

  In her super-shopper mode, she headed to her favorite department store, passing by other beloved stores even though sales signs almost blinded her.

  She ran her fingers lightly over the men’s clothes that were a tactile delight of cotton blends, denim and polyesters. She selected several pieces in what she guessed to be his size and held them against him.

  “My, you have slim hips.” And broad shoulders.

  Leo’s gaze flickered appreciatively across her hips. “Your hips are wide and beautiful, perfect to bear a pride.”

  She blinked. “What?” She bristled as she hid her gargantuan hips behind the clothing rack.

  Immediate chagrin crossed Leo’s eyes and he held out a hand to her. “I didn’t mean any offense. You’re perfect.”

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  Perfect? Sunlight glowed in her soul.

  No one had ever called her perfect before. Only Aunt Petunia. But doting great-aunts didn’t count. Richard was normally super-critical. When they’d started dating, she’d put it down to necessary perfectionism of being a surgeon. She wasn’t so sure any more.

  She laughed lightly. “Leo, you are a real charmer.”


  Leo captured her hand and kissed it, letting his lips linger on her knuckles. Against her flesh, he murmured, “I don’t flatter casually. I am most sincere.”

  She almost melted. She longed to lean into him, soak up his sexiness and ravage his lips. The edges of reality faded and everything except Leo became a blur. Conversely, he shimmered brightly, as if he was the only star in her universe.

  “Can I help you?” an unwelcome voice broke through her rapture.

  Leo released her hand and stood tall. He flicked his hair behind his shoulders and held up a stack of clothing. “I’d like to see if these fit.”

  Clestie shivered from the chill of losing Leo’s warmth. A hiss rose in her throat and she felt like pouncing on the young woman who dared tear Leo away from her. She wanted to rip the other woman to shreds.

  Shreds?

  Clestie shook her head and fisted her hands at her side. Oh god, was this the legendary Scorpio jealousy rearing its ugly head? But she felt primitive, animalistic sensations—like a lioness.

  “Get a grip, girlfriend,” she hissed at herself.

  Minutes later, Leo wandered out of the dressing room in hip-hugging blue jeans that wouldn’t button. He tugged at the gaping sides. “Can you help me?”

  Clestie gulped and her panties became damp. “Help you?” God help her! She wanted to help him out of those duds.

  “Help me button them.” Mirth and challenge gleamed in his eyes.

  “Uh, those are too tight. Take them off and I’ll find a larger size.”

  About to hyperventilate, she pivoted quickly on her squeaky soles. It didn’t pay to be a Good Samaritan.

  She jumped and almost screamed when his hand dropped on her shoulder. It was all she could do to turn around casually.

  “Clestie, are you okay?”