Heavenly Hijinks

by Ashley Ladd

  Clestie shrugged nonchalantly. “Thinking about it. I’m really a dancer and I’m eager to get back to my troupe. Some big auditions are coming up and I need to get back in shape. I’ve been getting soft lounging around here. My cousin will need the help.”

  Mr. Chang handed the sign to her and regarded her closely. “You don’t sound very excited.”

  What could she say? “It’s what I’ve always wanted.” Again, excitement was notably missing from her voice.

  Mr. Chang pursed his lips and sagely nodded. “Ahh.” He linked his hands behind his back and looked down at his feet. Then he looked up into her eyes. “Sometimes our dreams change. We realize something else holds more value.”

  With a sigh, Clestie sank onto the closest chair. Folding her hands between her knees, she rocked back and forth over them. “Dance isn’t that different than tae kwon do. You work hard, practice for years and put your whole heart and soul into it.”

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  The tae kwon do master bobbed his head and light reflected off his raven-black hair. “True.”

  “So am I lazy, or maybe just crazy, to even think of turning down this chance when it’s finally within my grasp?” She twiddled her thumbs and stared at her twitching toes.

  Shoot! The sparkly pink polish was chipping off her big toe. She’d never let herself get so frumpy before. Not a good sign.

  A self-deprecating laugh bubbled off her lips. Did she really care?

  She considered it for a split second. Nope.

  Hunkering down by her side, Mr. Chang bounced on his haunches. “I’m still passionate about my mission.”

  “Aah, so, I am falling apart.”

  The tae kwon do master sifted his fingers through his short, thick hair. “No. Try not to become a person of success, but rather to become a person of value. We all travel different paths. We’re all given different choices.”

  “How very zen of you,” she drawled.

  Mr. Chang dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed. “Caution is good. Courage is better.”

  She stared up at him, trying to match his sage advice to her situation. Was she being a coward? Was she running away?

  “So what should I do?” she muttered, more to herself than to him, as she studied her toes. Her mind’s eye superimposed an ethereal image of Leo’s face watching down on her from the clouds.

  The tae kwon do master tapped her cheek with his finger. “Can anything be sadder than work unfinished?”

  Truly perplexed now, she had to seek clarification. “Which work? My dancing? Or this shop?”

  He spread his hand over his heart and tapped it with the other. “Don’t take anyone else’s definition of success as your own.”

  She recalled one of the inspirational quotes hanging on the wall of his studio that had stuck in her memory. Repeating it aloud, she asked, “‘Whatever you are by nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent.’ Isn’t my talent my dancing?”

  “Petunia possessed a wondrous talent. Many say you possess that same talent.” He touched her heart. “Only you can decide where your greatest talent lies. What your calling is.”

  She stared up at him for several silent moments as her emotions wavered and her jumbled thoughts ran the gamut from the love of dance to the need to help the people that sought her guidance, and there had been many. Her new mission was more of a ministry than a job. Much more than merely a career.

  When peace settled in her heart she knew she’d found her answer.

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  Standing and facing her new friend, she smiled her first real, heartfelt smile since Leo’s departure. She gratefully pumped his hand. “I’m needed here.”

  Then she sent a grateful thought to Leo for showing her the way to her new life. She spoke aloud, “I miss him.”

  Mr. Chang followed her gaze and saluted smartly to the sky as if he knew Leo resided there and watched down upon them. “The greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart. In other words, don’t be afraid to grieve. Don’t be afraid to love.”

  She nodded and translated, “Keep on keepin’ on.” Not that she could ever love anyone else like she’d loved Leo.

  Stop it! She and Leo weren’t meant to be, just like Leo’s mother and father hadn’t truly been meant to be together for eternity. They’d had their moment in time—brilliant, sparkling, but doomed to fizzle out like the tail of a comet.

  The bells tinkled again and Karly pushed through the door followed by an entourage of Clestie’s new family. Karly sported a new tattoo on her shoulder, a sexy, winking camel with long, flirty lashes. Her spiky hair was damp from the especially humid day and she lifted her face to the whoosh of cool air oozing from the high vent on the wall. Then she marched up to Clestie. “What’s this we hear about you deserting us? You can’t do that.”

  “I’m no—”

  Burrowing herself into Clestie’s arms, Karly smothered her in a giant bear hug. “We need you. We love you. You’re family.”

  Clestie opened her mouth to speak again. “I—”

  The others joined the hug, trapping Clestie in the middle. She was about to drown in all this love and tried to drag in some air, barely managing to get a gulp. How could she leave this? Now she saw at least one reason Petunia had loved it so much. This was a family. “I’m not leaving.”

  The huddle broke apart. Karly poked her finger around in her ear and peered closely. “Come again?”

  Calmness spread through Clestie and she felt at ease. “I was thinking about returning to my dancing. I thought you’d be happy if I left.”

  Karly plopped down on the chair Clestie had just vacated. She stroked her hair. “You’re not as bad as I first thought.”

  Clestie’s heart swelled. She knew she was where she was supposed to be.

  * * * * *

  Leo moped. He sighed and rested his chin on his hand and stared blankly out at the cosmos. Life was boring without Clestie and all the mortals he’d come to call friends.

  “What’s eating you, Son?”

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  Although Zeus’ voice boomed loudly in his ears, Leo didn’t make any response. He just kept staring into the lackluster distance.

  Zeus stepped around to his front and bid him to rise. “You’re not still hankering for that little mortal, are you?”

  Leo’s dander rose and he stretched to his full height. “She’s not a little mortal. And I love her, Father.”

  Zeus shook his head and looked up. “Son, son, son. Mortals are a star a dozen. How about I send you on a little vacation and give you a dozen comely maidens? That should rouse your manly spirits.”

  Leo twisted his lips. His cock didn’t twitch. His heart didn’t leap. “Thanks, but no thanks.” He looked squarely into his sire’s face. “I thought I was desperately needed here to ride herd on all my little Leos?”

  Zeus scowled. “Like you’re much good, the way you’ve been moping around since your return.”

  Hera shimmered into existence next to Zeus. “So give the boy the mortal wench his heart desires.”

  Surprise lit Zeus’ dark eyes. “Here?” He spread his arms wide. “In our heavens? But she’s not even a nymph.”

  Leo’s heart leapt at the thought. “Yes, Father. You have a wife. Am I not permitted the pleasure?”

  Zeus arched his eyebrow. “But you’re not the marrying kind.” In a barely audible aside, Zeus muttered for Leo’s ears alone, “What pleasure?”

  Hera tugged on Zeus’ beard. “Give the lad a break. Can’t you see he’s in love?”

  Zeus yanked back with a yowl and treated his wife to a dirty glare. “Have mercy, woman. The lad’s merely in lust.”

  Glaring back, Hera folded her arms across her heaving bosom. Her brows lifted and her nostrils flared. She tapped her sandaled foot. “So, men can only lust after women? They can’t love their wives? Is that why you constantly cheat on me, dear husband?”

  Leo inched out of the lin
e of fire and checked his peripheral vision for any passing stars on which he could hitch a ride.

  Zeus’ Adam’s apple protruded and he looked about to swallow his tongue. “Of course not, my dear.” He glanced at Leo as if asking for help.

  Like he had any pull with his dear step-mom. Leo just shrugged and shook his head.

  “I thought you didn’t like my illegitimate offspring. Why are you being so nice to him? What do you want this time, wife?”

  Hera stepped back as if slapped. “Nothing more than to help our beloved Leo. I’m hurt that you would suspect anything devious or untoward of me, dear husband.”

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  Shocked, Leo blinked. Hera wanted to help him? He was just as skeptical as his dear old dad. Maybe more. It was a well-known fact that Hera despised her stepchildren, him included. He wondered where the poison apple lay.

  Desperately missing his Clestie, Leo decided he’d worry about Hera’s motives later. Now, he’d take any help he could get. “I am the marrying kind—if I have the right woman—and Clestie’s the right woman.” He glanced slyly at the beautiful older, well-preserved woman. “Just like dear Hera is your soul mate.”

  Zeus started to cough and then tears rolled down his cheeks. He held his mouth over his hand and finally said, “It’s getting deep out here.”

  Hera threw a lightning bolt at Zeus that singed his beard. She laughed as Zeus hopped up and down, trying to extinguish the fire. “Watch your step, dear husband, or next time, I’ll put something more important than your beard on fire.” Pointedly, she let her gaze travel south.

  Zeus and Leo gulped. If this is what it would be like to be married to a goddess, he’d take a mortal any day. He blessed the decidedly unshrewish Clestie. Bowing low and deferentially to his sire, he pleaded, “Please grant me my heart’s desire and I will pledge my eternal allegiance.”

  Zeus gazed shrewdly. “I already have your eternal allegiance. What other bargaining chips do you have?”

  Leo got down on bended knee. “Only the truth. Clestie has proven herself worthy of being exalted. She showed godly courage and love. She sacrificed her happiness for the good of mankind. She’s earned her place amongst us in the heavens—by my side. What more could you ask for in a daughter-in-law? What better woman to bear you strong, fine grandsons?”

  Zeus patted his beard and tweaked out a smoldering ember. Then he leveled a very sober gaze on Leo. “Will you settle down and stop being such a party animal?”

  Leo put his palm to his heart. Nodding sagely, he promised, “I swear. If you bestow me this, my most fervent desire, I will make you proud.”

  Leo squared his shoulders and faced off against Zeus. He tossed his mane behind him and narrowed his eyes. “I have reached a decision. I would rather be mortal and finish my days on Earth with Clestie, however short a time it may be, than remain here for eternity, if that is the only choice I’m given.”

  Zeus scowled. “Oh, all right.”

  Hera cried with joy and hugged her husband. “I knew there was a reason I loved you so much.”

  Zeus studied him for several moments. Then a huge grin crossed his lips and he heartily slapped Leo on his back. “About time you grew a backbone.”

  Hera cleared her throat and daggers shot from her eyes at her husband. A brisk wind whipped up about her feet, blowing her skirt about her ankles.

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  Zeus gulped and hurriedly said, “I mean, I’m so pleased to see what a fine man you have become, my son.” He glanced sideways at his wife as if to ask if that was better.

  Hera smiled and nodded.

  With a humbleness and gratitude long missing in his demeanor, Leo bowed low. “Thank you, Father.” He turned to his stepmother and kissed her hand. “Thank you, Hera.”

  “What are you waiting for?” Zeus’ voice boomed, shaking the heavens so that Leo was knocked off his feet. “Bring your comely lass home to meet the parents.”

  Leo groaned. No one deserved such a fate.

  Questions burned in his soul. “What will Clestie do here? Do you not have to make her a goddess first?”

  Zeus stroked his long white beard as he regarded Leo. “That might help her to survive the lack of atmosphere.”

  Leo tried to swallow back a smile but failed. It spread across his face just as supreme joy flooded his soul. “It just might.”

  Zeus shimmered and with a wink, called out, “Last one there’s a rotten egg.”

  Leo shook his head and clamped his hands on his hips. Since when had his sire ever played fair? Zeus knew Leo was only a demi-god, lacking in transport powers.

  “Never you fear,” Hera said on a twinkling laugh. She waved her hand at him and as he felt himself transported across the cosmos, he heard her add, “My beloved husband will not win this time.”

  * * * * *

  A chilly breeze made Clestie shudder and she briskly rubbed her arms. Goose bumps pimpled against her palms as if a ghost had walked across her grave and she glanced over her shoulder half expecting to encounter a specter.

  Nothing.

  She was imagining things again. Ever since Leo had convinced her she was psychic, she thought her powers were in the on position at all times.

  “Crazy. Crazy. Crazy,” she mumbled beneath her breath. She’d probably just heard Elizabeth moving around upstairs. Or maybe one of the tae kwon do students had banged the adjoining wall too hard.

  When she turned back around, Leo and a white-bearded man in long, flowing robes faced her. Her heart stopped and her blood froze in her veins. She tripped over her feet and stumbled forward.

  Leo caught her before she slammed into the ground. “My dearest love. Please don’t die of fear before you’re immortalized.”

  Joy warred with fear, happiness with disbelief, and she froze in shock.

  Immortalized?

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  She parted her lips to speak but only an embarrassing croak emerged. Mortified, she tried again to formulate at least a halfway articulate response. “Hello.”

  Cripes. A first grader could write a better speech.

  The older man with Leo cracked an amused smile. “My dear, is that the most fervent greeting you can give to the god of all gods?”

  More frogs croaked in her throat. Finally, she spit out, “Y-you’re Zeus?”

  Leo said dryly, “Guilty.” He nodded toward the white-bearded man. “I want you to meet my dear old pop, the revered god-head, the—”

  Zeus winked saucily at her and whispered in an aside. “What he really means is his old royal pain in the toches.” Zeus pulled a mock frown at his son. “He’s always been a suck-up.”

  Leo frowned. “Not true. I’m the rebel.”

  Zeus just chortled and turned back to Clestie. “You must be all agog and wondering why you have the blessed pleasure of my audience. Why Leo has returned.”

  Clestie’s heart hammered a suffocating tattoo so hard against her ribs it was a wonder they didn’t shatter. Rushes of joy overcame her. Nervous, she wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. “Leo’s returning to Earth?” To me?

  Leo shook his head and the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows danced off his gently swaying locks like spun gold. He gathered her hands in his and caressed her knuckles with his thumbs. “Not quite.”

  Clestie’s heart shriveled and dropped. But she thrust her chin high and refused to show her heartbreak. She racked her brain for reasons they would seek her out and fell short. “You need my assistance again?” She puckered her brows and looked to Zeus. “Since you’re here together I can only presume you’ve mended your rift and Leo no longer requires a mere mortal’s help?”

  Leo’s frown matched hers and he tightened his grip. “I don’t need your help. I need you.”

  A ragged gasp tore from Clestie’s throat and she replayed his words in her mind in case she’d put her own spin on them. She searched his eyes for any hint of godly mischief and found only flickering passion, hope and
pleading.

  Still, she hesitated and pulled back. Her infamous Scorpio skepticism made her ask, “What do you need me for this time?” She was extremely aware of Zeus’ electrifying presence not three feet distant, of him unabashedly hanging onto every word. “Surely your all-powerful father can provide for all your needs.”

  Leo dragged her to him as if she offered no resistance. He plundered her lips with his drugging kisses. He caressed her hair and her face as he murmured, “I love you. I can’t live without you. Not even the gods can manufacture love.”

  The air whooshed out of her chest and delicious tingles ran up her spine. She snuggled close and molded herself to him as she murmured against his chiseled lips. “I’ve missed you so very much. I love you.”

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  They drank deeply of each other’s lips and all the pent-up passion spilled over to their caresses.

  Zeus loudly cleared his throat and rematerialized behind them. “No demonstrations, please. I well know how part A and part B fit together.”

  Oh god! All the blood drained to Clestie’s feet and she tried to yank back from Leo. She’d completely forgotten the god’s presence. Leo’s fingers clamped like a vise grip around hers, not allowing her to budge. Wryly he said, “How true. Since when are you a prude?”

  Zeus rolled his eyes. “I don’t get any respect. I miss the good old days.”

  Clestie had to laugh and some of her tension seeped out. “You’re not half the boogieman I’d expected.”

  Leo’s stomach shook with laughter and he snorted. “Don’t believe that for a second. The only one with a more formidable lightning bolt is Hera.”

  Miniature lightning bolts exploded in a circle around Leo and Clestie. Then a beautiful woman in a gossamer gown and long, flowing dark hair shimmered into existence beside Zeus. “Did I hear my name taken in vain?”