The Hysterics

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  Chapter five

  romeo

  Fallon

  Fresh coffee.

  There was nothing better. The smell of warm hazelnut wafted up as I poured yet another cup into the bright pink mug Starr had made for me a few Christmases ago. Scrolled across it was my favorite of Hemingway’s famous quotes: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” And in the bottom of the mug, only visible once the coffee was gone, the words ‘Love ya, bitch!’ were printed in bold. It always made me smile when I thought about how excited she had been to give me the stupid thing.

  Fuck, I miss her!

  I glanced at my watch. It was only one in the afternoon, and I had probably already guzzled down an entire pot.

  “Top me off?” Dane was standing next to me in the break area.

  I filled up his mug. “Sure thing.”

  His smile.

  His eyes.

  His fitted gray button-down and black silk tie.

  Licking him from head to toe crossed my mind as I almost overflowed his cup.

  His voice was low and gruff. “So, we still on for tonight?”

  I need to get away from him before I jump him right here.

  Starting to walk away, I tossed over my shoulder, “Sure thing, Romeo.” I giggled a little to myself, remembering how fantastic his lips felt right as my boss’s big rosy cheeks came into my view.

  “Ah, Fal—er, Fae. Right on time, I like that.” He smiled and gestured for me to take a seat as he closed his office door.

  I crossed my legs nervously, wondering why my boss had texted me on my way back to work from lunch, asking me to drop in his office right when I got into the building.

  “You wanted to see me, sir?” I failed miserably at hiding my nerves as my voice shook.

  “Yes. I wanted to see how you’re adapting to the office and staff.” His voice was cheery as he glanced over the mountain of paperwork covering his desk. “Everything going smoothly, my dear? And cut that sir crap out.” Payton winked, leaning back into his dark brown leather chair as it moaned under his weight.

  I relaxed into the plush armchair under me. “I love it here!” I blurted out.

  With a warm chuckle, he slapped his desk. “Fantastic. Are we on schedule for today’s deadline? I want all articles posted promptly at seven p.m.”

  “Yes. Everything will be ready and waiting by five for your review. All I will have to do is hit publish at seven once I get your go-ahead.”

  “Wonderful. Then I best let you get to sifting through all those articles.”

  I made my way to the closed office door, stopping just short of it. “Payton?”

  “Yes, Fae?” He winced as my fake name hung in the air. I could tell that he, too, was having a hard time getting used to it.

  I whispered, “Thank you.”

  His brow creased questioningly as he waited for an explanation.

  I looked down at my suit jacket’s sleeves, which were covering up most of my tattoos, only letting a little wisp of color escape on my left wrist. “For giving me this chance.”

  “Everyone deserves a second chance, Fallon. Even you.” His face spread into a warm, loving grin and I walked out of his office, the tiniest hint of a tear rolling down my cheek.

  I wish I could believe that.

  While editing a terrible article about the ‘new age revolution of music sweeping the nation’ that felt like it had been written by a third grader, a soft knock rapped on my open office door. Without looking away from my computer screen, which was riddled with purple and blue edits all over the open Word document, I called, “Yes?”

  “Fae? I have a late submission for you.” Dane’s voice came whispering through the stale room like a breath of fresh air. I looked up to see him walking into my office with a piece of paper gripped in his hands. “Great. It’ll give me a break from this piece of you-know-what.” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the page from Dane, shoving my fake glasses back onto my face. I hated them, but I felt like they made me look more the part of a literary assistant editor.

  “It’s a shameless plug, but I think it’s worth its salt.”

  He took a seat while I started reading “It Changes You” by Dane Pearson.

  There is nothing better than the feeling of the music seeping into your pores. That one moment when it all makes sense and the world melts into nothingness. It engulfs you. It changes you. It becomes you. It saved me.

  “This is really good, Dane.” I smiled up at him to see the spark of a shy grin start to take over his nervous face.

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “Email it to me? I’ll get it ready for the posting tonight.”

  He practically jumped out of his seat. “You’ll have it in two seconds. Mountain Breath at eight?”

  I smirked. “If Payton doesn’t keep me too late, I’ll be there.”

  With a swift wink and a small, seductive smile topped off with a lower lip bite, he was out the door.

  Damn, he’s too hot. I need to kiss those lips again.

  I wanted to call him back into the office and throw him onto my desk. That would be way too inappropriate. But so much fun.

  “Looks like an HR violation,” I heard a mousy voice cackle from the hall as a giggle followed.

  I was able to catch a glimpse of Whitney Quints as her blonde ponytail bobbed away from my office next to a short, skinny brunette I couldn’t remember the name of to save my life.

  Chapter six

  Blackout on the mountain

  FALLON

  Finally. I stretched, grabbed my bag, and locked my office door. It was almost nine already, but all of the articles were perfect and submitted, and the rest were ready for the morning.

  Payton signaled a cab and opened the door for me. “Great work today, Fae. See you tomorrow bright and early.”

  I waved goodbye to him as the cabbie asked, “Where to, miss?” in an accent I couldn’t quite place.

  “Er, I think the name of it is Mountain something?”

  Shit, why can’t I remember what Dane said? I should have had him write it down or text it to me before he left the office.

  He chuckled. “Are you meeting musicians by any chance?”

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “Lucky guess. A big group head to Mountain Breath on Third a few times a week. They have open mic night on Thursdays.”

  “That’s the place!”

  The drive didn’t take long, and soon I was tipping the cabdriver and making my way into a dimly lit bar that resembled more of a hallway than anything else. I craned my neck over the packed bar toward a small stage with a backless barstool and a microphone set up under a spotlight. Sitting at a table right next to the stage were Dane and Maverick. After shoving through the crowd of people, I finally made my way over to them.

  Dane jumped up with a stupidly giddy grin sweeping across his face. “You made it!” he shouted over the rumbling of the bar patrons.

  I nodded and mouthed “Hi” to Maverick before he got up and gave me one of those dude-half-hug-things. I took my seat across from Dane as he waved to a tall server with long, straw-colored barrel curls that were almost touching her ass. She bounced over and plopped right on Dane’s lap without any hesitation. A sharp bite of jealousy hit my stomach as I pictured throwing the bleached blonde – with her corset that was two sizes too small for her fake rack – off Dane’s lap, gripping his face, and claiming his lips for my own again. My face must have given my thoughts away because Dane hurriedly cleared his throat and shifted her off him.

  With a frown, she stood and looked over to me. “What do you want?” she snapped.

  The bite in her voice and the look of disgust that infected her once perky smile gave me more pleasure than it should have.

  “Just a light beer please.” I smiled as sweetly as I could while I watched her walk to the bar to get my drink.

  Dane looked right into my eyes, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s
been pulling that shit with all of us since she started working here.”

  Maverick nodded. “Yup. A wannabe if I’ve ever seen one.”

  Play dumb. It’ll help keep this charade up.

  “Wannabe what?” I questioned, pretty sure of the answer, but I wasn’t supposed to be from their world. “Ugh. It wasn’t until we started playing bigger clubs that groupies started to be so forward and annoying. They just want to be around on the off chance that we’ll become famous and then they can brag about their band whore rating.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh extremely loudly at how sincere and disgusted Maverick was while he made that statement. “I guess a band whore rating is like a badge of honor for slutty groupies, huh?”

  A beer bottle slammed down next to me and I glanced up just in time to see that terrible look still plastered on our server’s face.

  “Well, I guess I offended someone.”

  Maverick glanced over at the huffing server while she glared over in my direction. “Yeah, looks that way,” he chuckled.

  I winked at Dane as he shrugged. His voice was gravelly as his voice strained to be louder than the crowd. “Some people hate hearing the truth. I, on the other hand, prefer it.”

  Before I could think too much about Dane’s comment and hope that it hadn’t been directed at my true identity, a heavyset woman heaved onto the stage and grabbed the mic.

  “First up, we have Candice Davenport accompanied by Maverick Steele.”

  The bar clapped and cheered as Maverick shoved away from the table. “Wish me luck, guys. I haven’t played with this one in a while.”

  Dane and I both clapped enthusiastically. I switched to Maverick’s seat, supposedly to have a better view of the stage, but really just to be closer to Dane.

  “What’s this all about? How does the open mic work here?”

  Dane leaned in closer than necessary to explain, lightly resting his hand on my thigh. “Maverick is an awesome musician, and when singers come in who don’t have backup, he’ll step in. I don’t think he’s ever gotten a song request he didn’t know.”

  “Wow. That’s impressive.”

  Dane smiled. “Yeah. Sure is!” After another swig of beer, he continued. “We’ve been coming here since we were kids. Actually, our first show was right up on that stage.”

  Maverick took a seat on the stool behind a kind-faced woman in her mid-twenties. They chatted for a second before the chick started to speak in a meek voice.

  “Hi, everyone! I’m Candice, and I am going to sing ‘Our Song’ by The Spill Canvas.”

  Maverick started fingerpicking one of my favorite songs of all time as Candice jumped in right on time with a raw but beautiful timbre that sent chills down my spine. I started singing along without even realizing it.

  Dane scooted his chair closer to mine so our seats were touching then whispered in my ear, “You look beautiful tonight, by the way.”

  I shot him a coy smile and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks.”

  With a playful smirk, he leaned in a little closer. “For what?”

  “For this, for helping me feel welcome in a scary new city where I know no one and have no friends.”

  “Well that’s a lie. We’re your friends.”

  Right as his lips were about to connect to the nape of my neck, I felt his shoulder get pushed into mine as Rodney chimed in, “Yeah, we’re all great friends here.”

  Rodney took his seat with Colt not too far behind and gestured to the waitress to bring another round of drinks. Colt sat down next to me after dragging another seat over for Maverick once he was done with the next singer. We chatted about why they had taken so long to join us, and then the room started to spin around me. Everything went into a blur when I heard lyrics I had written whisk through the bar. My blood went cold as a soft male voice mused words that had bled from my soul just a few short years before.

  In the stillness, you’ll find me

  In the noise and confusion, you’ll haunt me

  A fine line gets walked

  Inside the divine mind of frenzy

  Tread lightly, only whisper

  There might be just a glimmer

  I want to break down, stop this hiding

  But revealing is maddening, the unknown faltering

  Charting new courses should be exciting

  There’s a depth most unwilling to enter

  But the path less traveled may lead to splendor

  “Fae?” a faint voice called to me. “Fae, wake up.”

  I breathed in sharply, inhaling the terrible aroma of beer and piss as I opened my eyes to harsh bright lights. “What? What’s going on?”

  Dane’s face slowly started to come into focus while he held my body in a sitting position on the bathroom counter of Mountain Breath. “You passed out. Are you feeling okay?”

  I nodded, but what a load of shit that was. My heart was racing, and so was my mind. The last thing I could remember was hearing my words haunt me.

  “Well, I think it’s time to get you out of here. It’s been a long day.”

  I nodded again. I felt like a fool, but that was all my body could do at that point. Overwhelmed would be an understatement for how I’d felt right then. I had been completely unprepared for those situations to come up. I knew that my band had been pretty popular and I was bound to run into it at some point—on the radio at the gym, someone posting something on social media, something coming up at work about their hunt for a new drummer going south and the band breaking up. Yeah, that was true. I was the sole reason for a very promising band that was about to make it big time crashing and burning in an all too cliché way: drugs.

  Dane hailed a cab, opened the door, and slid in, all while holding my hand and helping me into the car.

  “Where to?” the cabbie called from the driver’s seat.

  “Park and Fortieth. The 1600 building.”

  I looked over at Dane when he was done telling the cabbie where he lived. “Would you mind if I got dropped off first? I’m right around the corner.”

  “You’re coming to my place. I don’t want you to be alone after that little episode back there, and I thought it would be rude to invite myself over to your place. So, my place it is.”

  I didn’t question his logic. It was sound, but still unnerving to an extent. I felt like a complete crazy person living a ridiculous out-of-body experience. I craved having my old life back, to be in the studio, behind my kit, with the other women of my band. That would never happen again. They all knew about my plot, playing into my freak accident and doing interviews on how crazy and tragic my untimely death had been. They all got it and respected it, and they’d moved on faster than I had been prepared for. But that’s life: it goes on without you while you’re hiding and scared.

  Walking into Dane’s apartment, I couldn’t focus on anything other than how clean it was. Most of the guys I knew, especially musicians, lived like complete pigs—dirty laundry everywhere, dishes stacked a mile high in the sink, wouldn’t know how to turn a vacuum on to save their lives. Dane’s place was spotless.

  “Make yourself comfortable. Want something to drink?”

  Taking my seat on his soft black leather sofa and wrapping my legs under me, I called into the kitchen, “Do you have tea by any chance?”

  Without replying, Dane started the microwave, and within a few minutes, I was holding a steaming cup of passion fruit green tea and sitting right up next to Dane. He put his arm around me and pulled me toward the crook of his shoulder.

  “Just relax, Fae. We’ll watch some stupid show on TV and you can decide if you want to talk about what happened at the bar.”

  “I don’t think I can talk about it,” I whispered, defeated.

  “I understand.”

  Well, this night turned into a fucked up mess.

  He flipped through the channels for a while until he found some sappy romantic comedy. “Here. This is what you people like to watch, isn’t it?”

  “You peo
ple? You mean the ones with vaginas? Yes. We do, for the most part, enjoy comical happily ever afters.” I laughed and slurped my tea as he smiled down at me with that killer grin that was threatening to set my entire world on fire.

  Damn him for being a smoking hot drummer with a smile that made me weak at the knees and gorgeous gray eyes that could pierce my soul.

  DANE

  I let Fallon doze off while holding the half-empty mug of tea in her hand. After I knew she was out, I carried her into my room and put her to bed. I thought about climbing in next to her, but that seemed like the wrong move.

  Let’s try to not be a total creeper the first night you’re alone with her.

  I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the closet and hoofed it back out into the living room to make the couch up for the night.

  After grabbing a beer out of the fridge and finding something to watch that would restore my man card, I couldn’t help but glance over to my cracked bedroom door, worried about Fallon. I knew she must have been pretty messed up from her old life, but to freaking pass out from hearing her old band’s music at an open mic night was pretty ridiculous.

  Fuck, she’s beautifully broken.

  It hit me. That’s exactly what she was.

  I heard my phone vibrating on the coffee table and winced at the name on the screen: Whitney.

  I hit the fuck-you button and texted her instead.

  Me: About to pass out

  Whitney: Want some company?

  Me: Not a good idea

  I knew if I didn’t shoot Whitney down completely, she’d end up showing up at my door and freaking out when she figured out that there was another girl in my bed. Then it’d be worse when she found out that it was our new boss.

  That would be messy.

  Whitney: Are you trying to make me jealous?

  Me: Not in any way, shape, or form should you ever be jealous. Remember: we’re not together.

  Whitney: Not yet

  Me: Don’t you think if I wanted to the buy the cow I wouldn’t have taken the milk for free without a second thought?

  Whitney: You just don’t know what you want