The Hysterics

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  “This is big!” Her eyes were wide while she patted my shoulder. “It’s great!”

  Marty and I did the guy half hug thing as he asked, “Medium rare like always?”

  “You got it, Pop.”

  I cracked open a beer and took a seat in one of the metal chairs around the large round glass table next to the grill where Maverick was already sitting with his feet up on another chair. He wore his old wrestling shirt from high school with a faded pair of jeans, and was gently picking an acoustic guitar and singing to Alex, who was sitting on the floor petting Chester.

  Julie sat down on the other side of me. “What time are the rest of the guys coming?” Her voice was jittery, not a sound I was familiar with from her.

  I shrugged. “You know them, they operate in a different time zone than normal society.”

  She nodded. “Sheils will be here soon. And so will Aunt Greta and her latest friend.” Julie raised an eyebrow and lowered her voice. “She finally came out!”

  “No way!”

  I had known since the first Christmas I spent with the Steeles that Gina’s little sister by fifteen years batted for the other team, but no one ever talked about that taboo subject and everyone was scared of upsetting Gina.

  “I know! I just can’t believe Mom’s ok with her bringing her you-know-what to this shindig!”

  “So, get this.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat; I needed to get this out sooner than later. “Claire showed up on my doorstep last night.”

  Everyone froze. Maverick set the guitar down, Julie’s hand flew to my arm and gripped tightly, Gina shrieked, and Marty dropped his grilling tongs. They all just stared, wide-eyed, waiting for me to continue. Thankfully, I was saved by the bell—well, the doorbell anyway.

  “I’ll get it. And don’t worry, she won’t be bothering any of us.”

  “Dane—what?” Gina’s hands were on her hips and her face was riddled with concern.

  “I filed a no contact, she can’t come near me.”

  Everyone sighed in unison.

  “Do you all really think I would do something to hurt her?”

  “Didn’t you?” Maverick shrugged as I jokingly flipped him the bird while Alex was jumping onto her mom’s lap.

  I popped up from my chair, retreating into the house to answer the door for the one person I wanted there more than anything else.

  “I’m so glad to see you.” I scooped Fallon into my arms in the doorway, her arms slowly folding around my waist.

  “Is everything ok?” she breathed into my ear.

  I nodded, our cheeks pressed together. “It is now.”

  FALLON

  It is now—my thoughts exactly.

  Those words swam around in my head as I stood in the doorway wrapped in Dane’s arms. Being without him for only twelve or so hours had felt like a lifetime. I had never been so dependent on someone else for happiness and clarity and it scared the shit out of me.

  I breathed in the faint hint of Dane’s cologne. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

  “Oh, right.” Dane’s face perked up. He took my hand and led me out back to the deck where the smell of burgers sizzling and the music of lighthearted laughter were absolutely uplifting.

  First Dane walked me over to a woman who looked to be in her mid-fifties. She had a long bob haircut with the slightest hint of gray in her light blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and the widest smile I had ever seen. We stood at the same eye level as Dane introduced us. “Fae, this is Gina, Maverick’s mother.”

  She reached her arms out, and without hesitating, I was hugging Mrs. Steele. “Dane has told me so much about you, Gina.”

  “It is so nice to meet you, dear.”

  A sweet voice chimed in, “Hi, Fae? I’m Julie, Mav’s sister.”

  We hugged and I was introduced to Alex, the most adorable little girl I had ever met in my life. She was towing a huge puppy by its leash—or maybe it was the other way around. After saying hi to Maverick and Marty, it hit me: the little girl in the photo at Dane’s apartment was Alex.

  With that a rush of people came through the sliding glass door. Colt brought Serena, who was her usual bouncy bubblegum self, and his sister, Sheila, who was apparently Julie’s best friend. Rodney showed up with a date on his arm. It took me a couple minutes to place where I had seen her before, but once she said hi to me I realized she was the chick from the open mic night, Candice.

  “Here comes trouble,” Dane snickered in my ear while I watched a short, plump, butch woman walk out the door hand in hand with a tall must-be-a-model woman. She had the most gorgeous mocha skin I had ever seen. Awkward pleasantries were exchanged between Maverick’s whole family and the two newcomers. Dane whispered the gossip in my ear about the shorter one being Greta, Gina’s little sister, and that Greta had finally come out a little over a year ago. He said she had been living with her girlfriend—who actually was a model—for a few years in secret. He explained that everyone knew that Greta was gay, that it was really the lying and secrecy that bothered Gina so much.

  With the party in full swing and my mind buzzing with all of the new faces and names, I found myself sitting on a bench on the far side of the deck with Sheila and Julie. They were both amazingly sweet and continued to try to guide the conversation so I could comfortably join in.

  “Do you remember that time when Leilani accidentally ratted Dane out for skipping class to go to that underground music festival?”

  Julie and Sheila both started laughing uncontrollably. It was sweet, watching them reminisce about Dane’s childhood, a small glimpse into a side of him that he kept buried deep under sadness and hate.

  “So, Fae, how is it being Dane’s boss?” Julie sipped on her lemonade through a straw while smiling with her eyes.

  I shrugged. “Pretty great. Dane’s incredibly talented and Raging Underground is an awesome place to work.”

  Sheila nodded. “Being a journalist must be so exciting.”

  “It can be. I haven’t been doing it for too long.”

  Shit. I’m saying too much.

  “What were you doing before?” It was an innocent enough question for Julie to ask, keeping the conversation flowing and all, but it sent my heart racing and my palms started to itch.

  “Food’s ready,” Marty called over our way. “Girls, come get it before it gets cold.”

  After we all chowed down on some amazing burgers and Alex showed me her Barbie Dream House. I wound up sitting on the couch with Gina, sipping coffee while Dane and Maverick insisted on doing all of the dishes. Sheila and Julie were reading Alex a bedtime story and the rest of the gang was sitting around a crackling fire in the backyard.

  “Dane’s something else, isn’t he?” Gina smiled at me while she straightened up a stack of magazines on the coffee table in front of us.

  “He sure is.”

  “We’re lucky to have him. After his mom went away, I was worried the state was going to take him from us. It was a fight but we all got through it, only slightly battered and bruised.” Her warm eyes showed so much love and pride.

  “I can’t imagine it was easy, opening up your home to another teenaged boy.”

  “It was a challenge, but Dane was always part of the family, even before everything that happened. Leilani too.”

  “I kind of got that feeling from how fondly your daughter and Sheila speak about Leilani. It’s really touching.”

  “Promise me something?” She looked right into my eyes, her hand on my knee.

  “Sure?”

  “If you can’t love him completely, then don’t love him at all.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “If you can’t love the baggage and scars and messed up bullshit along with his kind heart, then don’t drag his heart through the mud.”

  Her words sank in.

  Festered.

  Burned.

  We just sat there in silence staring at each other for a few seconds until Dane walked up with both of our coats in
hand. “Ready to head out?”

  I blinked a few times before looking up at him. “Ye-Yeah. It was very nice to meet you, Gina. Thank you for having me.” My words sounded rehearsed, almost robotic, but it was the best I could do.

  “It was a pleasure, dear.” She hugged me lightly.

  Dane led the way into the backyard where we said our goodbyes to the group then headed to his apartment.

  My world was flipped around and I couldn’t ground myself. Gina was right; I was scared of commitment and it wasn’t fair to drag Dane into my fucked up life. It was better to not get too attached—it would only hurt more later.

  “Dane, we need to talk.”

  “Ok.” He slouched onto his couch, patting the seat next to him.

  I took it, but didn’t lean into his shoulder like usual.

  “Is everything ok?”

  I shook my head.

  “Fuck.”

  His knee started bouncing.

  My voice shook. “I just don’t know what to make of all this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This.” I motioned back and forth between us. “It’s all happening so fast, and I don’t do this. Like, ever. This isn’t me.”

  “Well, who are you then?”

  His words were rough; I didn’t know anymore.

  I shrugged.

  “Fallon.” He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, then continued, “I don’t know what’s happening either. But I know I want it. Do you?”

  I nodded, but I wasn’t sure.

  “Ok, look. Here’s how I see it.” He shifted off the couch and got on his knees in front of me, making me look into his steel gray eyes while he laced his fingers with mine. “You’re a damaged, erratic, closed-off mess and I love every bit of you for it.”

  “You love me?”

  It was strange to hear that someone loved me and know they really meant it. I hadn’t felt that since my dad died.

  He nodded.

  “I love you, too.” The words barely made a sound as they leapt from my throat, like a fleeting wind. I was scared to more than whisper them, afraid they might run away.

  We sat wrapped in silence. There are times when more is understood in silence than words can ever say. I wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he. Baggage—fucked up commitment issues, weird identity crises, deep family tragedy—all of it. We were supposed to be together. We were soulmates. Until that moment I had thought that a soulmate was a mythical creature, not something that happened in real life. I was wrong; mine was staring right at me, into me, loving me for who I was deep down.

  Chapter nineteen

  eavesdropping

  DANE

  Monday morning came way too soon, especially since another meeting was just finishing and the clock barely read nine. Our latest publication had increased our subscribers by over thirty percent. Payton was, of course, beyond thrilled, and this morning meeting was how he decided to reward us. Once it was over, Fallon waved me over. Her eyes sparkled through her fake glasses.

  “What’s up?” I questioned, getting close enough to smell her perfume. Fuck. She smelled good enough to lick, right on the spot, in the middle of this damn boardroom full of nosy journalists.

  “I need to see you in my office.” She bit one of her lip rings, trailing her fingertips slowly over my tie. “Now,” she growled.

  I nodded. “S-sure.” I swallowed while willing my half chub to cool his jets before I could get safely behind the closed door of Fallon’s office.

  Payton stopped Fallon right as we were about to walk through the door. “Fae? Have a second?”

  She nodded. I damned her under my breath for it, but what else was she supposed to do?

  “Dane, I’ll be right in. Pull up that article you wanted me to look at.”

  I took the hint from the slight wink she gave me and hurried into her office. Sliding into one of the plush red chairs in front of Fallon’s desk, I sighed and waited. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for Fallon to return and shut her office door, concealing us from the rest of our coworkers.

  “Is everything ok?”

  Fallon nodded as she slowly walked over to me, taking off her jacket and throwing it onto her chair across the desk. “He knows about us.”

  The flatness in her voice was troubling. “Isn’t that a bad thing?”

  She shook her head. “Payton is on my side.”

  “Ok…?”

  “We have to make this quick. I have a meeting in a few minutes.”

  Fallon crawled into my lap and straddled me, slowly planting small kisses on my neck right below my ear. The worry of the boss knowing or caring about our relationship completely dissipated as I started to unbutton Fallon’s light pink blouse. Hastily, she unclasped my belt and yanked my boxers and pants down. My erection sprang to attention as she hiked her skirt up.

  “Wait.” I stopped her as she started to pull up her skirt.

  “What?”

  “Do you have a condom?”

  “I’m on birth control. You are clean, aren’t you?”

  I had never been with someone without a condom, ever, but I got checked regularly, so I nodded. Fallon hastily pushed her tiny thong to the side and took in my length. Every nerve in my body buzzed. The sheer pleasure of truly feeling her was incredible.

  A low growl escaped the back of my throat as I clasped one hand tightly over Fallon’s mouth and the other reached under the thin lace of her bra to cup her supple breast. She lightly bit down on my palm as she rode my dick faster and faster while the corners of her eyes watered. Her climax built up in the back of her eyes as our lips locked. Her hand ran through my hair, gripping tightly as her pussy tightened around my shaft. I felt her release; her low groans and whimpers quickly sent me over the edge as I thrust into her as hard as I could. My dick throbbed as I released inside of her, my entire body shuddering while a thin layer of sweat formed on my brow.

  Fallon started to pant as I released her mouth and her head fell to my chest. I leaned back into the plush chair, eyes fixating on the dark blue quill etched beautifully around Fallon’s collarbone and shoulder.

  “You’re so fucking perfect,” I breathed, taking in how amazingly sexy Fallon was: straddling me with her blouse open, exposing her gorgeous boobs propped up in her black lace bra, her hard nipples poking through the thin fabric.

  A light tap came from the door.

  Fuck.

  We both jumped up.

  Fallon hurriedly buttoned her blouse while I finished straightening my tie and fixed my belt.

  The doorknob turned a little too early—to say the least. The wide eyes of the last person I wanted to see stared right at me.

  “Whitney,” Fallon choked. “You’re a little…early.” Fallon stared at me while I smoothed out the wrinkles in my shirt.

  “Early bird gets the worm, right?” There was no mistaking the hiss in her voice.

  “Dane, will you excuse us?” Fallon sat behind her desk with pleading eyes.

  I wanted to say ‘fuck no’. Instead, I just mumbled, “Sure.”

  “I think he’d like to stay for this.” Whitney patted the chair next to hers. I walked around Fallon’s desk and stood behind her, my hand resting on her tensed shoulder.

  “What is it?” Fallon’s voice was strained and low as we both stared at the pages clutched in Whitney’s hand.

  “Here.” Whitney’s face twisted into a deviously maniacal smile as her eyes narrowed. A satisfied smirk spread across her face as she watched our mouths fall open.

  The headline read ‘The Ghost Among Us: Fallon Dunbar’.

  Nervously, I busted out laughing. Fallon’s gaze shot up to me, terror running across her face as tears started to well. Whitney shot me a death stare.

  “Do you really think you can threaten me like this?” Fallon snarled.

  “Yes.” Whitney folded her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side. “I will personally hand this to Payton and destroy you, sweetie.”
r />   Now it was Fallon’s turn to laugh. “Let’s tell Payton ourselves.” Fallon’s voice cooed into the speaker on her desk, “Missy, ask Payton to come to my office, please?”

  Payton’s sweet assistant chirped into the line, “Right away, Ms. Dunham.”

  Within a few minutes Payton was striding into the small office, wide-eyed as he glanced at each person in the room.

  “Fae? You needed me?”

  “Yes, sir. Whitney has an interesting little tidbit to share.”

  Payton took the seat next to Whitney, angling himself to be able to look directly at her. “Is that so, Ms. Quints?”

  Whitney cleared her throat, her hands shaking. “Ya-Yes, sir.”

  “Well, out with it. I don’t have all day.”

  “You see, the other night I went to Dane’s apartment to ask him to look over an article I wrote.” She paused and my mind screamed Bullshit!

  “A woman ran out of his apartment crying before I could get to the door and said that he was with a young woman by the name of Fallon. It all clicked, sir.” Her gaze was locked on the dark burgundy carpet as we all stared at her, our eyes boring holes in her.

  Fallon chimed in, “Yes, that woman would be Dane’s mother, who he had just had a fight with.”

  Payton chuckled a few times. “Ms. Quints, I want to advise you to not poke your nose in others’ affairs.”

  “Sir?” Whitney was shocked as Payton pointed to her article on the desk.

  “You see, everyone in this business has a past. What kind of boss would I be if I allowed rumors to fly from the mouth of a druggie all the way to ruining a valued member of my staff’s reputation? Has Fae been anything but kind to you?”

  Whitney shook her head.

  “Has Fae demonstrated anything other than a professional attitude while behind these walls?”

  She shook her head again.

  “Explain.” Payton was starting to lose his patience with her and she knew it.

  “They were in here fooling around before my meeting.”

  “Do you have proof?”

  She just sat there.

  “Would it really matter if Fae were to end up being Fallon Dunbar?”