The Climb

by Damien Benoit-Ledoux

  Around them, other couples danced, including Trevor and Bryan, Tatiana and her girlfriend, and Mr. Kent and Mr. Davies. CK bowed and asked Tracy to dance with him, and after a brief curtsey, she did.

  Skyler watched Daren start to walk off the dance floor, but Nick—one of the kids with rainbow hair who had passed out pride flags earlier—grabbed Daren by the hand. A look of surprise and amusement flashed across Daren’s face. Nick handed him a pride flag and then extended his arms. Daren accepted the pride flag and then awkwardly wrapped his arms around Nick. Skyler guessed it was Daren’s first slow dance with a guy.

  Near them, Tommy asked Cody to dance, and Cody accepted. Skyler chuckled and then closed his eyes and nuzzled his face on Kalin’s shoulder.

  Even though you’re sweaty and gross, I’m really glad I get to hold you tonight.

  26 | The Tamed Savage

  THE HOT SUMMER WEATHER HELD out and on the last weekend before school began, Skyler and his friends enjoyed the pool once more. Though the week had been busy with back-to-school shopping, they were glad to forget about starting classes on Wednesday.

  Skyler opened the slider and stepped out of the house carrying a tray of plastic glasses and fresh lemonade.

  “You guys have the best mom,” Tracy said.

  “Hey, what makes you think I didn’t make this?” Skyler quipped.

  “I just know,” Tracy said.

  “Thank you for your support,” Liara said, following Skyler to the pool deck with veggies, chips, and other snacks for them to enjoy. She slid the slider shut with her foot.

  “Brownie points don’t get you anything,” CK said, waving his hand.

  “Oh? Sure they do,” Liara said, walking over to Tracy. “Tracy, would you like some veggies or pretzels before the boys eat them all?”

  Tracy dramatically whisked off her dark-tinted sunglasses and set them on the edge of her lounger. “Why thank you, Mrs. Kelley. I would love to partake of your sumptuous edibles before the scraps are fed to the dogs.”

  “Omigosh,” Skyler said, clutching his chest with feigned insult. “Drama queen anyone?”

  CK shook his head and smirked. Tracy picked out a few carrot sticks and a handful of pretzels. “Thank you so much for your gracious hospitality,” Tracy said with mock arrogance. “You boys may eat now.”

  “Thank you, your royal highness,” CK said, reaching for some chips. Liara set the platter of snacks down on one of the low tables near them.

  “I assume everyone wants some lemonade?” Skyler asked, shoving a few pretzels into his mouth.

  A chorus of yeses ensued.

  Skyler started pouring lemonade into blue and yellow plastic glasses.

  “I think it’s wonderful you guys allowed Daren to come over today,” Liara said. She sat on the edge of Tracy’s lounger.

  “I do, too,” Tracy said.

  Dale looked up from his science fiction novel and said, “Third.”

  “Guys, it’s not that big a deal,” Skyler said. “I mean, yeah, he was a pain in the butt, but he wasn’t bullying me for that long. Besides, it’s a huge relief not to have to deal with it anymore. And clearly, he needs friends.”

  “I think that’s the most telling sign of your character, Skyler,” Liara said, affirming her son. “Despite his hostility toward you, you are still willing to give him a chance.”

  Skyler shrugged. “I know what it’s like to deal with that kind of hate. I’m lucky I only had to deal with it for a couple months, and not a couple years.”

  “I wonder what Daren will be like now,” Tracy said.

  “How do you mean?” Liara asked.

  “If you think about it, Daren’s been two people. He’s polite and fun sometimes, but then if he got upset or insecure, he became an asshole.”

  “Language,” Liara said.

  “Sorry, Mrs. K., but the word fits.”

  “At least it did, I hope,” Skyler said, raising a finger to the air. “It’d be pretty sad if last week’s events wore off so soon.”

  “I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about Daren reverting to his old ways,” CK chimed in. “Cody texted me about it this week. Apparently, after the GSA barbecue he went to Cody’s house as planned and completely broke down in Cody’s arms for a solid hour. I guess he did the same thing on Monday and Tuesday after the State got involved. I guess Cody’s mom and dad also got involved and they are seriously considering taking Daren in this year.”

  “Never underestimate the power of a good cry,” Tracy said.

  She’s right there.

  “That’s so kind of them,” Liara said.

  “In all seriousness, the kid’s hurting, like a lot,” Skyler said. “Last weekend, when his dad kicked him, I had a horrible flashback to the McMahon’s—to the incident that got me pulled from their home and sent to the Tinsdales—when Sean lost his cool and kicked Patty, just like Daren’s dad kicked him. I had forgotten it until then.”

  Dale put his finger in his book and lowered it to his lap. He looked at Skyler intently. Liara covered her mouth with surprise.

  “Did you get hurt in that incident?” Dale asked.

  “No. He tried to come after me, but the only thing I could do was kick him, and I did…hard…right in the nuts. That pretty much stopped him cold.”

  “Okay, noted. Don’t piss off Skyler, ever,” CK said, chuckling.

  Tracy gently smacked CK’s shoulder. “It’s not funny.”

  CK brought his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say it was funny! I just…”

  The snapping of flip-flops on the wooden decking announced that new guests had arrived. “Hi everyone,” a familiar voice called out. Skyler smiled as Kalin and Kyle ascended the deck stairs from the yard. One of them wore a yellow t-shirt, the other wore a blue t-shirt. Upon seeing them together, Skyler realized he still couldn’t tell them apart.

  He greeted them with a wave because it was too muggy to get up and hug everyone.

  Kalin—in the blue shirt—walked over to Skyler and stepped in front of him. “Hi, handsome.” Then he swooped in and kissed Skyler on the lips.

  “Get a room,” Kyle joked.

  Skyler smiled mid-kiss and started laughing. “I think your brother’s jealous,” he said.

  Kalin sat down next to Skyler. “Meh, whatever. He’ll get over it. What’s going on here?”

  “Oh, we’re recapping last weekend at the GSA barbecue. Apparently, Daren had quite an emotional couple of nights at Cody’s.”

  “Yeah? Is he okay?”

  “Guess so. He’ll be coming over with Cody in a bit. Maybe he’ll give us an update.”

  “I still think last weekend proved to be so telling,” Tracy said.

  “Duh,” CK retorted.

  “That’s not what I meant. I meant the part after all the commotion and after dinner before the dancing. When the theme for the year was announced. I think it’s so touching, and so poignant.”

  “What the hell does poignant mean?” CK asked.

  “To evoke a keen sense of sadness or regret,” Dale said. “Tracy, I don’t think that’s the word you meant to use.”

  “Whoops, definitely not. I meant to suggest the song was on point.”

  “Well,” Kalin said, jumping in, “Wonderful is an amazing song.” He winked at Skyler. “It has a lot of meaning in it.”

  “God doesn’t make garbage,” Skyler said. Everyone looked at Skyler. “It’s true. If we’re all made in his image, that should mean something greater than a ton of rules that were meant to keep some semblance of civic order several thousand years ago. It means he made us the way we are, and that is both special and wonderful.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” Liara said.

  “Preach it, kid,” Dale said.

  “I guess you did learn something from the Tinsdale’s,” CK said, smiling.

  “There’s a lot of good in religion, don’t get me wrong, but like anything else, when it’s mishandled or wielded as a weapon, no one wins. The
re’s no point to that kind of faith. Besides, love should always win.”

  A moment of silence passed before Tracy seized the conversation. “I thought it was so wonderful that the current members were introduced to the newer teens and the freshmen were introduced to the group.”

  “And Daren dancing was pretty funny, too,” CK said.

  “Yes, and Daren, even if it took a little encouragement.” Tracy concurred. Everyone nodded.

  “I still can’t believe he stayed at the barbecue,” Kyle said. “That took a lot of balls.” Liara set a disapproving gaze upon him, which he noticed immediately. “Guts, I mean. That took a lot of guts. Sorry, Mrs. K.”

  She winked at him and Skyler laughed.

  “Wanna lotion my back?” Kalin asked, cutting into the conversation.

  “Of course,” Skyler said. He smiled and grabbed some sunscreen from the deck as Kalin pulled off his shirt.

  Those abs…

  * * *

  “Yo-ho-ho,” Cody cheered as he came around the house and walked across the yard with Daren and Tommy. All three boys wore tank tops, shorts, and flip-flops, and each had a back pack slung over their shoulders. Cody and Daren carried a cooler between them and Tommy squeezed two paper grocery bags against his chest with his lean arms.

  “We picked up more snacks, burgers, chicken breasts, and fixings for dinner.”

  “You guys brought burgers?” Dale asked

  “Yup! Hope the grill’s in perfect working order.”

  “Oh it is,” Dale said, smiling. “You guys are awesome. CK, Skyler, you can keep them.”

  “Well, Tracy,” Liara said with a smirk, “Perhaps the men have redeemed themselves this once, don’t you think?”

  “I think the jury’s still out on that one at the moment,” Tracy quipped.

  Tommy bounded up the stairs laden with grocery bags and stopped. He hefted them slightly and looked at Dale. “Um, Mr. K, should the burgers go in the fridge?”

  “Yes, Tommy,” Dale said. “Come with me, son.”

  “Thank you, Cody, it was very nice of you to bring food for everyone,” Liara said.

  “Oh, it wasn’t Cody’s idea,” Tommy said. Everyone paused and looked at him. “Oops.”

  “He’s right.” Cody said. “This is Daren’s treat.” Heads and eyes swiveled to look at Daren as he and Cody set the cooler down on the deck.

  “Daren, you didn’t have to bring dinner for everyone,” Liara exclaimed.

  Daren shrugged. “I don’t have a way to say thank you. And honestly, all my, uh, antics…affected all of you. So yeah, for last weekend…for getting between me and my dad, and then being so, uh, forgiving after. If it wasn’t for you guys, I’d probably be in the hospital with some broken ribs…or something worse.”

  Liara stood and stepped over to Daren. She took his hands in hers. “Daren, you are so welcome. I’m glad these guys were there to back you up. I’m so sorry for what you have had to go through, and I wish nothing but peace for you over the next few weeks.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Kelley,” Daren said.

  “What’s in the cooler?” CK asked.

  Tracy rolled her eyes at him. “Tactful as ever.”

  “Different sodas, high-school appropriate beverages, and a watermelon,” Cody said.

  “Thanks, Daren.” Dale said, chuckling. “Come on, Tommy. Let’s get things in the fridge.”

  Liara walked toward the house with Dale. “I love watermelon. This will be an amazing end-of-summer treat.”

  “I think this should be Daren’s coming out party,” Tommy said.

  “Didn’t I do that already?” Daren asked.

  “Well,” Tommy said. “Kind of. But I mean, come on, you were basically outed. You need a proper party with your friends to celebrate with.” Tommy turned and followed Dale and Liara into the house.

  Is that what we are? We’re friends now? Hey! Stop this. Stop being afraid. That’s what he’s been going through. You forgave him. That must stick. We’re friends now.

  “If only we had a tiara,” Tracy said.

  “What’s that for?” Kyle asked.

  “Better yet, what’s a tiara?” Daren asked.

  “Don’t you gays know anything?” Tracy quipped.

  “I believe I get a pass for a while on all things gay,” Daren said dryly.

  “And uh, I’m not gay. He is,” Kyle said, pointing to Kalin.

  “Ah, the tiara. It’s like a ceremonious gay formality, Daren. The newest member of the out community is crowned with a tiara—or a sparkly crown—and is celebrated among friends at a party. Looks like we have everything but the tiara to complete the ritual.”

  “Is it okay if I pass on the tiara?” Daren asked.

  “Too much, too soon, eh?” Tracy quipped. “Considering we don’t have one, you’re safe…for now.”

  “Whew,” Daren said, wiping his brow with mock relief.

  Cody and Daren pulled off their t-shirts and moved three patio chairs into a semi-circle for them to join the group. Tommy returned from the house and sat in the empty chair next to Daren.

  “Hey, you okay?” Kalin whispered to Skyler.

  “Yeah, why?” Skyler asked.

  “You haven’t said much.”

  Skyler shrugged. “I’m still stunned.” I’m stunned Daren is sitting here being so nice, and I’m freaking out a little because I expect him to be a bully again. And I’m stunned and proud at how supportive Tommy is to Daren.

  Skyler absentmindedly watched Tommy’s eyes follow Cody’s physique as he passed out seltzer waters and grabbed some chips before settling into a patio chair next to Daren.

  “So,” CK said, “I hope it’s not too much, but, what happened after the barbecue last Sunday?”

  “Oh, that,” Daren said. “Uh, after I left with Cody. He brought me back to my place so I could pack clothes and stuff for a couple of nights. I locked up the house and then we went over to his place.”

  “Was it weird being there?” CK asked. “At your house, I mean?”

  Tracy smacked his shoulder.

  “What? I’m curious.”

  “It’s fine. Usually my dad’s passed out at night, or on his way to oblivion but, yeah, it was weird not having him around. Anyway, we went over to Cody’s house and he showed me to the guest room…”

  “My brother Dominic’s old room,” Cody interjected. Liara returned from the kitchen and sat on the edge of Tracy’s lounger again.

  “Yeah, so once I had settled in a little I wandered downstairs to the living room where he was hanging out with his parents, and they were obviously talking about me.”

  “Had to make sure you’d have a safe place to be,” Cody said.

  “Anyway, they started asking me questions. I uh, I couldn’t talk. I lost it for a good hour.”

  “That must have been difficult, but I bet it felt great afterward,” Liara said.

  “Yes, and yes,” Daren said, smiling.

  Second time I’ve seen him smile. Ever.

  Daren shrugged. “Daren, the big bad bully crying in someone else’s house, in Cody’s arms…” he said, pausing.

  Tommy sipped his seltzer and waved his hand in dismissal. “Who cares what you think it looked like?”

  “Right,” Kalin added.

  “When I moved here, I had a few of my own ugly-cry-fests,” Skyler said, taking a leap of faith. “I completely understand how you might have felt. The release, the letting go. The stress lifting away…”

  “Exactly,” Daren said, sitting forward and nodding.

  Skyler took another chance. “How long did you know you were gay? I’m guessing you didn’t figure it out last week.”

  Daren chuckled and sat back. “Yup, definitely didn’t just figure it out. I’ve known for a long time. Probably since I was like six or seven years old. I didn’t know my feeling toward other boys was called gay until I was like thirteen or fourteen, but I knew it was something bad in dad’s eyes. He used the words gay, sissy, queer, and faggot like
we’d use stupid. He wasn’t always as bad as you guys saw him last night. Something changed in the last couple of years. I’m not sure what.”

  “Did your dad know?” Skyler asked. Don’t interrogate him, keep it casual.

  “Uh, yeah. I told my dad two years ago, like when I was fifteen and a half. After, he kept asking if I had met any girls and would always make obscene jokes and try to get me to react, but he wasn’t having any luck. Once, when he was really blitzed, he threatened to hire a prostitute so I could become a man. I never wanted to find out if he was serious or not so I started looking for ways to gain acceptance in his eyes. He was relentless though, to the point where I had started hating myself. I guess that’s when I started bullying people.”

  “Do you hate yourself now?” Skyler asked.

  Daren shrugged. “Feels like I have for so long. I think it’s turned to numbness, but I honestly don’t know. My world just flipped itself upside-down, so…” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before continuing. Then he looked directly at Skyler. “I guess, since you showed up, I realized I didn’t have to hate myself anymore. I heard you tell CK you were gay when we met, when you were running with him weeks ago. I think it was your first day here or something. Your new family accepted you, but I couldn’t be accepted by my own family. I think it sounds cheesy now in the re-telling, but trust me, it’s been a horrible summer. I think my dad sensed I wanted to come out, so he stepped up his assaults. He never managed to hit my face, but the back of my head, my sides…they’ve taken a few hits from the drunkfest that is Roger Tarquin. I needed to figure out how to survive until I graduated and could move out of that hellhole. The night before he was arrested, I gave up. I didn’t care how hard he beat me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Skyler said. “But that doesn’t explain why you bullied us. So, why did you bully us?”

  “To survive. If my dad caught wind that I was hanging around with gays at school and hadn’t straightened out—heh, as if I could change that—I don’t know what he would have done. I had to keep the act up. I had no choice.”

  “There’s always a choice,” Skyler spat.

  Daren swallowed hard and met Skyler’s gaze. “I know that now. I picked on you because I was jealous of you. You were the new gay kid and I hated you for it. I hated you because you could be gay and I couldn’t be gay. And because, well, let’s face it. Kal’s a lucky guy.”