Josie’s apartment wasn’t too far from Maggie and Gunner’s, which was nice for Maggie. I knew they’d been spending a lot of time together and time with Becs when she could. Josie didn’t even realize she’d already accepted the club just by being friends with the women involved, but she would.
I followed her into the parking lot behind her building, then we headed inside to the elevator and rode it up to her floor. She shoved the key in the lock and pushed open the door, walking through and throwing her keys on the small table beside the door.
She gestured toward the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”
I took a few steps toward her, and she glanced at me but then looked at the kitchen again.
That wasn’t going to work for me, so I eliminated the distance between us and slid my hand over her hip. “Look at me.”
She ran her hand along her forehead and slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine. Leaning down, I let my lips hover above hers. “That’s better. I like your eyes on me.”
Her chest rose and fell quickly when my hand skimmed along her ribs. She cleared her throat loudly. “I thought you needed to talk to me.”
Fitting my body tightly against hers, I replied, “I lied.”
She arched her eyebrow. “You lied?”
Leaning in, I shoved my face in her neck and inhaled deeply before running my lips over the soft skin of her neck and up to her ear. When she shivered, I whispered in her ear. “Just wanted to be alone with you. I miss you, baby.”
She stiffened and took a few steps back. “I’m gonna get some water.”
A sharp pain tore through my chest while I watched her walk away, and I knew then that I never wanted to see her leave again. Following her into the kitchen, I crossed my arms over my chest, leaned against the island, and waited while she filled a glass with water and took a long drink. We needed to talk this out, and I needed to be patient enough to let her do it in her own time.
“What are we doing?” She put her glass in the sink and spun around, leaning back against the counter. “We already know how this ends, Bear.”
“We never really gave it a chance,” I pointed out. “We were both too busy trying to be right.”
She nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. “We fight all the time.”
“Not all the time.” Smirking, I dropped my arms and moved to stand right in front of her.
She blushed, actually fucking blushed, and I understood why. This shit between us was strong and just remembering the things we’d done to each other was making my cock harder than steel.
I reached up and laid my hand against the side of her neck when she spoke again. “I think we might just be too intense. Like a flame that burns hot, but it eventually burns out.”
I knew what she was trying to do, but I wasn’t going to let her. Laying my other hand on her side, I used my thumb to stroke the underside of her breast. I grinned when I felt her shiver, only proving further that her body was saying what I already knew.
“Relationships are hard, baby. They’re messy.”
“They shouldn’t be if it’s right. I mean, there are always hurdles, but we are far beyond hurdles. I always wanted something stable. I wanted someone who shared my opinions and goals. That kind of relationship always seemed ideal to me.”
“And boring.” I pointed out. “Do you really want that?” I leaned down so my lips hovered just above hers. “Or do you want excitement and heat?” I skimmed my lips along her cheek to her ear. “Do you want someone who fights with you because you drive him fucking crazy and then fucks you until neither of us can stand?”
I pulled back just as her eyes flashed with heat, but she kept our connection by putting her hands on my chest. “Give us a real chance before you throw this away.”
“But nothing’s changed. We’re so different, Bear.” She reminded me of what I already knew, but those differences no longer seemed so big.
“I thought that too, and I tried to stay away from you, but I can’t.” I ran my thumb along her lower lip. “And you wouldn’t be standing here with me if you didn’t feel the same way.”
Her fingers played with the fabric of my T-shirt, and I knew she was overthinking this. She wanted to solve all of our problems before considering taking a step forward, but that wasn’t what we needed.
Still, I waited for her to speak and wasn’t surprised at all at what she shared. “I’m not sure I like the club. I’m so confused by it, and that’s a big part of who you are.”
“It is,” I agreed. “But what you think you know is not who we are. Don’t define us by one thing we did that you didn’t like. Think about all the things we have done and will do.”
“Like help Dominic?” she confirmed. “And the girls?”
“Yeah,” I moved my palm to lay against her cheek. “That’s the club we’re fighting to become. We just have to clear the way for that, and sometimes it’ll get ugly, but the result will be worth it.”
“I’ll never condone violence, Bear.” She closed her eyes tightly before focusing on me again. “What you did to Skinner…”
“Was a mistake.” She tilted her head slowly as I continued to speak. “I was angry I’d missed something so vital that had the potential to hurt people I promised to protect.” I tightened my hand along her hip. “And that anger caused me to revert to how the club used to handle things. But that’s not what I want my club to be and wasn’t what my dad wanted the club to be.”
Her eyes softened. “You can’t protect everyone.”
I slid my hand up her side to lay right beside her breast, and a shiver wracked her body. “I made a promise to myself after my dad and brother were killed that I would spend the rest of my life working to keep everyone I cared about safe.” My eyes flicked back and forth between hers. “And it’s a promise I plan to keep.”
Her eyes filled with sympathy. “You miss them.”
It was a statement that didn’t need an answer, but I wanted to give her something of me, something I kept close. “I have so many regrets, Josie. I’ve done shit I’m not proud of and all for reasons that mean nothing when you lose the people you love. I’m tired of living with regret, and I’m tired of denying myself happiness because I’m so fucking sure I don’t deserve it.” Running my hand down her side, I slid my palm under her shirt so I could lay it against the smooth skin of her side. “I did what I did to keep you safe, but I can’t stay away from you anymore, Josie.” I dropped my head until my lips hovered over hers again. “Don’t ask me to.”
Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and I groaned. It had been too long since I felt her against me, too long since I tasted her, and being this close was driving me crazy.
She ran her hands up my chest and wrapped them around my neck, pushing to her tiptoes. I could see the indecision in her eyes and knew I was asking a lot simply by asking her to trust, but I waited, hopeful she would give me a chance. Give us a chance. When she finally spoke, I exhaled slowly. “I don’t want you to stay away.”
She pressed her lips to mine, and arousal roared through me. She was like a drug for my system. Grabbing her hips, I pulled her tight against me and angled my head to deepen the kiss. When her mouth opened, our tongues dueled, desperate for the taste we craved.
I grabbed the hem of her shirt and pushed it up and over her head before tossing it to the floor. I wrapped my hands around her waist again, and she jumped, wrapping her legs around my waist. I carried her through the kitchen, breaking the kiss as we made our way to her bedroom. She ran her lips across my neck, her mouth hot and wet against my skin. Tightening my hands on her ass, I turned the corner into her bedroom and pressed her against the wall.
She fused her lips back to mine while I reached behind her back and unhooked her bra before tossing it to the floor. Trailing my lips down her neck, I pushed her farther up the wall so I could wrap my lips around her nipple. She moaned long and loud and arched her hips, pressing her heat tightly against my cock.
She lifted her head w
hen I released her nipple, and our eyes met. Heat raged between us, her eyes conveying more than her words had about her feelings, and at that moment, I knew I’d do anything, give up anything, to keep her this close.
When she dropped her mouth to mine and kissed me hungrily, it became a battle for control.
Dropping her to her feet, I stripped her out of her jeans and tossed her onto the bed before I shoved my own jeans down and kicked off my boots. Grabbing the neck of my shirt, I pulled it over my head, my cock as hardening to steel when the fire in her eyes blazed as she watched me.
I stripped off the remainder of my clothes and moved quickly to lay over her, groaning when she opened her legs so I could slide between them. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulled me down and once again pressed our lips together. Her hand traveled down my chest, her fingers like fire scorching my skin when she wrapped them around my cock and led me to her opening.
“No condom,” I growled.
“I’m on the pill.”
That was all I needed to hear. We both groaned loudly when I pushed inside her and began thrusting hard. We needed it hard and fast. We’d spent too many months apart because of circumstances, but coming together like this felt like coming home. She clawed at my back, and I increased my speed. We were racing toward an orgasm that felt as if it had the power to blow me apart. And I knew she felt the same.
Pulling my mouth from hers, I panted into her neck. “Now, baby.”
She loved when I took control even as she fought me for it. I knew because her pussy tightened unbelievably when I did.
“Bear.” She panted against my neck.
“Say my name,” I demanded.
“John.” She panted.
Heat rushed through me when my name crossed her lips. Reaching down, I found her clit and rubbed her slowly, in complete contrast to how hard and fast my cock was pounding into her. “Now, Josie.”
She threw her head back and dug her nails into my back when her body bowed with the force of her orgasm. I followed her, my body shaking with the intensity of my own orgasm.
We lay there quietly, and I shifted my weight to the side of her body. After a moment, when we were breathing normally, she lifted her head. “I need to clean up.”
Nodding, I shifted entirely off her and watched while she stood and walked to the bathroom across the hall. Sitting up, I leaned my back against the headboard of her bed and waited. I had no idea what to expect when she walked out. We’d said a lot tonight, but I was smart enough to know it wasn’t enough to convince her of what we had and what we’d been throwing away.
When I heard the bathroom door open, I lifted my head and watched her walk out in a short, silky robe. Christ, my dick was getting hard again, just looking at her. She made her way back to the bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed.
Inching forward, I slid behind her and wrapped my arms around her. “Invite me.”
Her breath hitched, and she linked her fingers with mine. When I glanced over her shoulder, her eyes sparkled and she spoke. “What if I don’t want to?”
I grinned when I saw the smirk on her lips. Tightening my arms, I lifted her and dragged her up the bed while she squealed. Rolling her onto her back, I laid beside her and propped myself up on my elbow. “I’ll make you.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “By bullying me?”
I ran my hand down her side and slid it under her robe. Slowly, I slid it up her thigh, my cock hard against her side when she parted her legs. She gasped when I cupped her pussy with my hand. “Nah. I had another idea.” I slid my fingers through her wetness and dropped my head so our foreheads were together. “You with me?”
She knew what I was asking, and I held my breath waiting for her answer. When she breathed deeply and nodded slowly, I had the only sign I needed that she was willing to take the chance on my club and me. A calm washed over me when I realized she was back in my life. A calm I hadn’t felt in months. At that moment, it became very obvious to me that we had something special between us, something powerful, and I wondered if all the shit I was afraid could end me wasn’t what actually would.
My goal had been to end this game with the Widows, knowing there was a strong chance it would be the end of me as well.
Now I understood destroying the Widows wasn’t my endgame.
Josie was.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
JOSIE
Closing my apartment door behind me, I sighed and made my way to my bedroom. Another late night because I had yet another meeting to discuss changes the superintendent wanted to make in several programs, many of which included the students I worked with. I liked his ideas, but implementing them would take some time and a great deal of cooperation from the students and staff.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when the doorbell rang. Kicking off my shoes, I walked back through my small apartment and looked through the peephole. My body reacted immediately to the man on the other side with his hands propped above the door, and I pressed the palm of my hand to my belly. He got to me in a way I couldn’t ignore, but it was never far from my mind that I didn’t know him. Even after all this time, I really didn’t know Bear. I only knew the man he let all of us see.
That became even more apparent after Lucy and I met for lunch yesterday. She told me things I didn’t know, things she hadn’t known either until her fiancé revealed them to her, but things that made me see more of the real man behind the leather.
Pulling open the door, I stepped to the side and waited. His eyes scanned down my body, causing my stomach to roil in anticipation, and it was something I doubted I’d ever get used to. Grinning, he walked through the open door and closed it behind him before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling my body against his.
He dropped his head, so his lips were just above mine. “You look so fucking sexy.”
“These are my work clothes.”
He nuzzled my neck and chuckled. It had become something of a joke between us this week when he saw me dressed nicely whether I was in my work clothes or not. He slid his lips over my cheek until he could press them to mine and kissed me hungrily. I sighed and fell into the heat of his kiss. One week together, and I was addicted to him, but we hadn’t done much more than have sex. We’d had a few conversations, but it seemed when we were in the room together, we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
He pulled back but kept his hands on my waist. “You worked late again.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, but he didn’t need the answer. He still had prospects checking in on me when he couldn’t. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you tonight.”
“Had some shit come up that I wanted to talk about with you.”
My eyebrows drew together. “Is everything okay?”
“It will be, but I need to update you.” He scanned my body again. “You gotta change first.”
I looked down at my clothes. “What’s wrong with this?”
He arched his eyebrow. “You want me to be able to tell you what I need to tell you?”
I tilted my head. “Yeah.”
“Then trust me, you have to change.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I laughed. “I wore this to work.”
“It’s not gonna happen if you have that shit on.” He slid his hand over my hip, around to my butt, and squeezed. “I’m just warnin’ you.”
Still chuckling, I pulled out of his grasp and headed back to my bedroom, calling out over my shoulder. “Just give me a minute.”
“And don’t wear those tight pants either.”
I turned and faced him. “My yoga pants?”
“Don’t know what they’re called, but they do the same shit to me.” He gestured toward the kitchen. “I’ll make coffee.”
I blinked slowly while he made his way into the kitchen and headed for the coffee pot. He knew me. He knew without even asking what I would need and just did it. Warmth rushed through me while I started back the short hallway to my bedroom.
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Once inside, I thought about what I owned and remembered a pair of baggy sweatpants I had before quickly pulling them from the drawer. I took off my blouse and skirt and tossed them on the bed before sliding on my sweatpants. Turning back toward the dresser, I stopped when I saw Bear’s T-shirt hanging over the chair in the corner of my room. He’d worn it the other night under a Henley because he’d ridden his bike, and it had been cool out. Grabbing it, I pulled it on and sighed when his scent surrounded me.
Glancing in the mirror, I laughed at my reflection. His shirt hung almost to my knees, and paired with the sweats, there was no way he could find this sexy.
Walking back into the kitchen, I watched as he added milk to both cups of coffee and then a little sugar to mine. He glanced at me, and his eyes once again scanned my body but stopped on the T-shirt. “That my shirt?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes flicked up to mine. “That’s worse than what you had on.”
I laughed and grabbed the hem of the shirt. “What are you talking about? I look ridiculous.”
He picked up both cups of coffee and walked to stand in front of me. “You in my shirt? That’s hot as hell.”
I sighed and took my cup. “I give up.”
He grinned and followed me when I headed into the living room and sat on the couch. I lifted the cup to my lips and began to blow on the steamy liquid just as he sat beside me.
He leaned forward and set his cup on the coffee table in front of us. “Doubt you own much I wouldn’t think is sexy.”
I took a sip and watched him sit back. “What’s going on?”
“Luke called me today, asked to meet. That’s where I was before I came here.”
“Did something happen?”
“Luke arrested Brian Colson a couple of months ago.”
“I know that.”
“Yeah, but what you don’t know is why.” He sighed and pulled my legs up to lay across his lap. “Colson was busted on drug charges, but the goal had been to use him to get to the boss, find out who was running the show. They haven’t been able to do that, so they offered Colson a plea deal to coerce him into giving information on the entire organization.”
End Game (Sinners MC Book 2) Page 29