Hero Wanted

by Dan McGirt

  “Are these the scented variety?” asked Ormazander.

  “No, and don’t sniff them,” warned Merc. “It’s bad for you.”

  Holding the markers between their fingers, the wizards joined hands to form a circle, with Raella in the center. They faced inward, their backs to the approaching invaders. The crystal dome slid open, exposing us to the open air. The breeze blew stiff and cool. The noonday sun stood directly above.

  The demons streaked toward us.

  The wizards hummed a single note in unison to aid their concentration for the coming conjuration. Whatever this spell did, I hoped it worked quickly. Rubis trembled and huddled closer to me. Sapphrina seemed oddly calm.

  Raella raised her arms to the sun and spoke in an ancient language of power. Her sunstone necklace glittered with brilliant red-gold fire. It grew in size and floated up from its resting place around her neck to hover above her head like a halo. The necklace revolved like a spinning plate, faster and faster, until it appeared to be not a string of jewels, but a solid ring of light. It rose a good twenty feet above our heads, expanding until it exceeded the diameter of the platform on which we stood. The sun was now perfectly centered within the halo.

  Orange marauders streaked toward the tower from all directions. The wizards added more notes to their repertoire, happily humming a familiar tune used to teach children the alphabet.

  The demons were almost upon us. The marauders of the first rank were close enough that I could see the orange of their eyes. Now the wizards unclasped their hands and turned to face their enemies. Loudly singing the alphabet song—though in less than perfect harmony—they frantically traced glowing letters in the air with the magic markers. Some wrote a single glyph repeatedly, as if performing a handwriting drill. Others autographed the air or scrawled curses and insults directed at the demons. Whatever they wrote, it took on substance. Expanding webs of red, blue, purple, yellow, green, and orange script surrounded the platform and enveloped the demons like a net woven of rainbows, entangling their wings and preventing use of their weapons. The winged marauders were unable to penetrate the web of color. It soon obscured them from view entirely.

  “Good!” said Merc. “Now hold it!”

  Several demons tried to get at us by flying in through the golden ring. They were reduced to ashes as they passed through it. Timeon’s enemy counter recorded their demise, but many hundreds of foes remained.

  Sapphrina curled against me. I felt something hard amid the softness of her chest. Before I could open my mouth, she pulled a dagger from her bodice and slashed me, uttering an unearthly scream as she did so. Her eyes glowed with a sickly purple light.

  The possessor had her!

  I tried to pry the knife from her hand. With superhuman strength, she broke my grip and shoved me down the stairs. Rubis grabbed at her sister, but was easily cuffed aside.

  Sapphrina tossed the dagger aside and hefted my borrowed battle axe. I fled down the winding stairs. She followed, screaming profanities only a demon could imagine.

  I rounded a turn in the stairwell, waited, and clubbed her in the gut with a doubled fist as she came into view. Sapphrina lost both her footing and the axe, which clattered down the stairs. I pounced on her, twisting her right arm behind her back. Oblivious to the pain, she pitched forward, causing us both to tumble down after the axe.

  Our painful descent ended with us sprawled together on a landing. I struggled to disengage, but was immobilized as Sapphrina scissored my head tightly between her powerful thighs. I was barely able to breathe.

  She sat up, still pinning me. I heard the scrape of the axe across the floor as her fingers curled around the handle. I felt the tensing of her muscles as she lifted the weapon. I reached up blindly to clutch her long hair, which had fallen loose. I yanked her face down against her own knee. The axe struck the stone floor beside me. I wrenched free of Sapphrina’s legs and rolled clear.

  She still had the axe.

  We were in a chamber occupied by Raella’s general staff, who were busy planning their next move should the wizards fail. Hawkinstern and his officers looked up from their maps and charts as I yelled, “Get her! Hold her!”

  Hawkinstern turned away with a snort. “Unwise to meddle in a lover’s quarrel,” he said. “War is much safer.” The soldiers returned to their planning, ignoring my pleas for help.

  I scrambled to my feet. Sapphrina swung the axe. I dodged. The blade sank into the wall. She struggled to tug it free.

  “Sorry about this!”

  I punched Sapphrina in the face with all my strength, hoping to knock her purple lights out. Her upper lip split. Blood gushed from her nose. But she was unfazed by the blow. The demon cared nothing about damage done to its host. That I did care was an advantage for the possessor to exploit. I didn’t want to hit Sapphrina again.

  She had no such compunctions, backhanding me across the room. While I regained my feet, she yanked the axe free. The only thing for me to do was keep running until I could trap her or tire her out. I headed for the far door.

  The possessor got a new idea.

  “Look at me!” commanded Sapphrina. Something in her voice compelled me to obey, though I knew it wasn’t a good idea to take any suggestions from her just now. She flashed a bloody smile. Our eyes met. I got an instant headache. The world turned purple. Sapphrina collapsed in a heap.

  “Let’s go kill that wench of a queen and her spineless boot licking wizards!” said a nasty voice in my mind. “Then we’ll jump off the tower and make a nice red smear of ourselves on the flagstones far below!”

  The suggestion was powerfully appealing. Wouldn’t it be fun to remove Raella’s lovely head and chop the others into little pieces?

  “No!”

  I bent double and ran full tilt into the nearest wall. The impact floored me. I saw stars, but at least they weren’t purple. Though my head throbbed, the possessor was out of it. The little purple glow flickered weakly on the floor. I upended an alabaster urn over the baleful ball. I didn’t know if that would trap it, but it was the best I could do.

  Sapphrina lay senseless on the floor. I rushed to her side, raised her up, and set her gently on a nearby settee.

  "Sapphrina!" I wiped blood from her face with my sleeve. "Oh, Gods! What have I done?"

  Her eyes fluttered open. "Jason?"

  "Don't try to sit up."

  She tried to sit up—and immediately fell back into my arms. "My head hurts. My whole body hurts." She touched her face. "Why am I covered in blood?"

  "You don't remember?"

  "Remember what?"

  "Trying to kill me with an axe?"

  "Why would I do that?"

  Rubis hobbled into the room. "I'll explain. Jason, you're needed above. Now."

  I kissed Sapphrina's brow. "I'll be back."

  I left Rubis to tend her sister while I staggered back upstairs. I emerged to see Raella throw back her head and gesture imploringly to the sun.

  Looking up through the ring of light, I saw the bright solar disk shift and warp until if no longer looked like the sun at all, but a beautiful woman reclining on a cushioned divan. The shimmering and scanty metallic gold bikini she wore revealed most of her perfectly-toned body. Her skin was a deep coppery brown. Her long hair, bound up in a ponytail, was reddish-gold. When she pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head I saw that her face was almost identical to Raella’s, but for her deep tan.

  This, without doubt, was Rae, Goddess of the Sun.

  “What is it?” she said. her voice like a long summer day at the beach.

  “Goddess!” called Raella. “Demons beset your most holy city!”

  “City? What city?” said the goddess, furrowing her flawless brow as she lifted a can of Diet Sola Cola—evidently some elixir of The Gods—to her divine lips.

  “Rae City!” exclaimed the queen. “The royal seat of Raelna, the blessed realm founded in your honor!”

  “Raelna? That was a thousand years ago,” said the go
ddess offhandedly. “I don’t keep up with the mortal world these days.”

  I suspected that the substance of this conversation might cause Rae’s more ardent worshippers deep theological distress.

  “Raelna has endured, O Goddess,” said Raella. “But we now face the might of the Assorted Hells and beg your divine aid. The man Jason Cosmo is among us.”

  “Jason Cosmo?” said the goddess, perking up. “Where is he?”

  “Here, O Divine One,” I said, waving.

  I found myself flying up through the ring and into the realm of the Sun Goddess. Looking back, I saw Rae City and the Sun Palace far below in miniature. I could see vast expanses of the world, including the wine-dark waters of the Indigo Sea, the lush jungles of Cyrilla far to the south, the wheat fields and rolling plains of Ganth to the west, the uncharted wilderness of the east, and the legendary blue ice fields of the Ultimate North. It was as if I were perched on the sun itself, looking down on the world from that vantage point. Which, indeed, I was. I floated amid a hot, endless glare that, contrary to all expectation, neither burned nor blinded me.

  Idly sucking the tip of her index finger, Rae gave me a careful appraisal. “You are Jason Cosmo?”

  “Yes, Goddess,” I said.

  “Not bad.” She took another sip of Sola-Cola. “So what is your story?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She sighed, a glorious sight to behold. “I don’t bother to read the memos, but I’ve heard the others mention your name. Aren’t you important for some reason?”

  “Well,” I said, not sure how to begin. “As I understand it, the Dark Magic Society wants to capture me so they can restore Asmodraxas. The Demon Lords want to kill me to thwart the Society. And The Gods, I am told, want to protect me so that neither the Society nor the Demon Lords can win. Oh, and the League of Benevolent Magic thinks I’m the Mighty Champion reborn. I guess you could say various interested parties consider me important.”

  “Hmmm. You confused me,” she said, puckering her lips.

  “I confused myself, Goddess. All I know is that I must go to the Shrine of Greenleaf.”

  “What is the Shrine of Greenleaf?”

  “I was hoping you would know.”

  She shook her head.

  “Never heard of it.”

  “It’s in the Incredibly Dark Forest,” I added.

  She wrinkled her nose. “That is not a sunny place.”

  “I suppose not.”

  “Do you serve The Gods?” she asked.

  “Yes. Yes, I do.”

  Her eyes lit up. Literally. “Wonderful! Rub some of this oil on my back.” She handed me a brown bottle and leaned forward until she was prone on the couch. “I can’t reach,” she explained, as she unhooked the strap of her top.

  I moved to her side and rubbed oil into her unblemished and silky smooth skin. She was pleasingly warm to the touch. Tingles of pleasure ran through my fingers and up my arms as I worked my hands across her body.

  “Mmmmmmm,” she sighed. “You have a wonderful touch! Such strong hands!”

  “I’m a woodcutter.”

  “Nice. How would you like to stay here and serve me? All you’d ever have to do is what you’re doing right now. And maybe fetch me a drink now and then. And rub my feet. And walk Sparky.”

  “Sparky?”

  “My sunhound.”

  “Goddess, I thank you for your offer, but I must return to the battle below. My friends are in danger. Many innocent people are dying!”

  “A little to the left, please.”

  Exasperating as she was, I had to make Rae realize the urgency of the situation below. “Goddess, your people need your help!”

  She sat up suddenly and turned to face me. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

  I hastily and reverently averted my eyes from her uncovered holy bosom and said, as sweetly as I could, “You are without doubt the most beautiful goddess I have ever beheld, O Rae.”

  “Do you really think so?” she beamed. With actual sunbeams. She threw back her shoulders. “More lovely even than Lucinda Everfair?” Lucinda was the Goddess of Love and Beauty, said to be the most comely woman, mortal or divine, in all the universe.

  “From what I’ve seen, there is no comparison,” I said. “You are gorgeous, stunning, mind-boggling. And I really mean that last one.”

  “How sweet you are, Jason Cosmo! I have always thought Fair Lucinda overrated. She’s so pale! What’s pretty about that?”

  “Goddess, the city—”

  “Yes, yes. What was the problem again?”

  “Hordes of demons. Killing everyone in sight.”

  “Right. Demons. Disgusting creatures. You want me to dispose of them? Is that it?”

  “If I wouldn’t be too much trouble. Your daughter is among those in danger.”

  “Daughter? I have no daughter. At least I don’t think so.”

  “Queen Raella is called so, being descended from your son, Blaze Shurben.”

  “Blaze!” Rae said, her face glowing with maternal pride. “My darling baby! So strong and handsome! His line yet survives in the world?”

  “For now. She who summoned you is Raella Shurbenholt, Queen of Raelna, his heir many generations removed.”

  The goddess peered through the sungate, zooming in on the tower. Raella still stood with arms raised in supplication. The wizards continued to hold back the marauders, but they were visibly tiring.

  “She is of my blood!” said Rae, delighted. “A touch pale, but I can fix that!” She leapt to her feet, suddenly angry. “And those foul things dare to threaten her! These demons shall feel my holy wrath!”

  This sounded more like a goddess I could believe in. Rae grew in stature until she towered over me. Her metallic bikini expanded into a suit of golden armor. A sword of flame appeared in her right hand. “I just hope I remember how to use this thing,” she fretted.

  “I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

  “What am I forgetting? Oh yes, the hair!” Her hair burst into flame, becoming like the corona of the sun. “Let’s go!” she said, her voice now thundering with the roar of a thousand blast furnaces.

  Rae stepped through the gate. I followed. The wizards stopped their writing. The prismatic effects of their spell instantly vanished. The rampaging demons halted in mid-air, then turned to flee. Rae swung her sword thrice above her head. Beams of purest radiance leapt from the blade, blasting every demon to nothingness. Timeon’s enemy counter dropped immediately to zero.

  The wizards, rubbing their forearms to alleviate intense writer’s cramp after their heroic efforts, gave a ragged victory cheer. Raella fell to her knees before the goddess. Tears of relief and joy streamed down her face.

  “Oops,” said Rae, struck by a sudden thought. “I think I’m in big trouble. I forgot that the Non Intervention Pact forbids this sort of thing.”

  “Nevertheless, O Merciful Goddess, we thank you!” said Raella.

  Rae smiled down on her. “You are welcome, daughter mine. Well, more of a granddaughter, I suppose, but I don’t like the sound of that. No matter, you’re family, so I don’t mind taking the heat for helping you. Though the others will be quite cross with me, I’m sure.” She extinguished her hair. The fiery sword vanished as she shrank to human scale. She took Raella’s hands in her own. “I’m not supposed to even set foot on Arden, so I must be going. I’ll manifest to you later and we can chat. We have much catching up to do!” She pulled the queen to her feet, gave her an affectionate hug, and kissed her brow. “You are pretty—it runs in the family—but you should spend more time in the sun, darling.” Rae turned to me, the spark of a divine whim lighting her face. “Have you a patron goddess, Jason Cosmo?”

  “No,” I said, fearing I was about to get one.

  “What luck! I haven’t patronized a hero in ever so long! In view of your wonderful hands and your keen eye for beauty and your importance to the cause of The Gods and all that business you spoke of before, I think you would be a marve
lous hero to sponsor. Don’t you think so?”

  “I am most...honored, O Rae.” I bowed.

  “Splendid! Raella, dear, you’re my chief whatchamathing down here, aren’t you?”

  “Whatchamathing, O Goddess?”

  “In charge of the temples and incense burning and such.”

  “Supreme Raediatrix and High Priestess. Yes, O Goddess.”

  “Excellent! You can handle the paperwork for me. I don’t know the current rules on divine patronage, but be sure to look them up.” She frowned. “It is council day for The Gods, I think. I usually skip the tiresome affairs, but perhaps I should get up to speed on things. So I’ll just give you my blessing, Jason Cosmo, and be on my way.”

  “Thank you, O Goddess.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t done it.”

  She pulled me to her and pressed her burning lips to mine. A hot surge of infinite pleasure jolted me into blissful oblivion. My legs grew weak. I tumbled back, grinning like a drunkard, and about as steady. Merc caught me and lowered me gently to the floor.

  “Now you may thank me.”

  With a regal wave, the Goddess Rae rose into the air on a column of light. Before my eyes fluttered shut, I saw her golden form shimmer and merge back into the disk of the sun.

  *****

  Chapter 15

  I did not awaken from my Rae-induced swoon until the next morning. I found that I had acquired a deep golden tan—even in those places where the sun should not shine. Even more remarkable, all my wounds, down to the least scratch, were fully healed. I rose from my bed and dressed. Soon a knock at the door heralded the arrival of Mercury, Queen Raella, and Master Timeon.

  “How do you feel today, Jason?” asked Raella.

  “Tan, Your Majesty. Very tan.”

  “And well-rested, no doubt,” said Merc.

  “And ready to go,” I added.

  “You are truly blessed to have the Goddess Rae as your divine patron,” said the queen.

  “Indeed,” said Timeon. “That you stand high in the favor of The Gods can no longer be doubted. You have aptly demonstrated that it is you to whom we must look for our salvation.”