Dream Weaver (Dream Weaver #1)

by Su Williams

  “Hmm?” he nuzzled my ear.

  “Why don’t you just mess with my memories and make me forget what a jerk I am?”

  “I could.”

  “But?”

  “Is it up to me to play God with your memories? Decide which you should keep and which to take away? Every memory is a gift.” I scowled at him and he chuckled. “Even the ones that hurt. Memories form who we are, help us with the decisions we make throughout our lives.”

  “What about the nightmares?

  “Hm. Those—I didn’t think you’d mind so much. Besides, I didn’t take them away. I just, suppressed them with something—better,” he explained.

  *

  Just after nine o’clock, heavy footsteps clomped across the front porch. A large silhouette darkened the doorframe, a shadow strangely in the form of Santa Claus. I glanced at Nick, who, no doubt, looked as puzzled as I was. I scanned the other guests. No one was familiar with the Santa tromping his way to my home. My nerves detonated when his fist hammered twice on the door. Visions of Wraiths danced in my head, despite having no clue what they would look like.

  Nick only hesitated a moment before he strode boldly across the room and opened the door. Nick and St. Nick looked eye to eye, and then the Santa burst out with a merry, “HO! HO! HO!” Nick smirked and rolled his eyes. To my surprise, he stepped aside and gestured old Santa in. I forced a smile, hoping to break the tense Seattle fog that had settled over the room.

  “Merry Christmas!” the Claus boomed, and then he began to hand out sparkling jewel-toned gift bags to each of my guests, greeting them warmly and wishing them the merriest of Christmases.

  Nick returned to my side just as Santa got to me. I tucked myself behind Nick’s shoulder. I thought only children were frightened of Santa Claus.

  “And one for you, my dear,” St. Nick said, and handed me a small, red gift bag.

  “Thank you,” I said, politely puzzled. My eyes darted to Nick’s face for answers. He just shrugged. Some help. Opening the gift bag, I found a small box of very expensive chocolates and a miniature bottle of bubbles with a reindeer on top. When I glanced up again, the room was already filling with tiny iridescent bubbles. Eddyson bounced and bounded about the room, snapping playfully at the bubbles that drifted toward the floor. As the shiny orbs popped on his nose and ears, he shook his head in confusion.

  I scanned the Santa from my hiding place. Something about him was familiar.

  He placed a finger dramatically to his chin as if perplexed by something profound, and murmured, “Hmmm, I was sure there was one more. What did I do with that?” He puzzled a moment longer, patted his pockets and checked up his sleeves, then raised his finger in the air. “Aw yes. I remember.” He stuffed his hand into his bulging red coat, and withdrew a small golden package. “A very special gift for a very special lady.” He handed me the package with a flourish, a wink and a bow. As my fingers brushed against his gloved hand and I looked into his eyes, an image of a narrow face with faint thread-thin scars, chestnut hair and dark chocolate eyes flashed through my mind and I could see the man behind the billowing white beard.

  “Sabre?” I whispered.

  “At your service, my lady.” He whipped off his red velvet hat to reveal chestnut hair intermixed with the flossy white, and bowed deeply. “With my heartfelt apologies and entreaty for your forgiveness.” Sabre’s quiet voice oozed with sincerity. His wide, imploring gaze captured my heart and held fast.

  I looked to Nick for answers, and with questions back to Sabre. “Um…” Gees, how eloquent could I get?

  Nick nudged me gently with his elbow, and nodded. Warily, I scrutinized their faces. Both were warm with sincerity.

  “Truce?” Sabre requested with an outstretched hand. I stared at the hand as if it were leprous, and pressed to Nick’s side for courage. He smiled and nudged me again in encouragement.

  “Okay. Truce,” I said, cautiously taking St. Sabre’s hand. His hand was firm and gentle, devoid of fang or manipulative sparks; purely human, gratefully safe. The sincerity of his heart conveyed beyond this simple touch. I remembered the moments of tenderness and compassion in his friend’s memories of him. “Thank you for—all of this. You’re welcome in my home.”

  Sabre nodded his gratitude. “You are most welcome. And thank you for being a kinder heart than I.”

  Fear slashed through me as his pleasant smile dissolved into a naughty boyish grin. He spun on his heel and sauntered away to join my other guests in the holiday merriment.

  I wheeled around to face Nick. “What the…”

  Raising both hands in surrender, he waved me off. “I had no idea,” he protested. I surveyed the room and caught Jesse’s eye again. He smiled—blearily, hopefully—probably hoping Nick and I were fighting and I’d need a shoulder to cry on later.

  “Come.” At my solemn command, Nick fell in step behind me and followed me in silence to the kitchen where I rounded on him. “Is he always so freakin’ Jekyll and Hyde?”

  “Pretty much.” The corners of his mouth twitched up.

  I couldn’t help myself, he was so charmingly adorable. We laughed together and I turned my attention to the golden gift Sabre Claus had delivered. “To Emari, From Nick” the card read in Nick’s fluid handwriting. Nick read over my shoulder then scanned the crowded dining room for his friend. With a crooked grin, he nodded his thanks when their eyes met.

  “Should I open it now?” I asked.

  “By all means.” Nick took my hand and led me back to the living room. He flopped down on the couch, and pulled me down beside him. He was laughing, playful, visibly relaxed. The persistent hardness of his muscles quelled. Sabre’s presence unfettered Nick’s constant need to be on guard and protect. Whatever Nick shielded me from, the job was easier with Sabre close by, and my heart found a renewed appreciation for this friend of Nick’s. I searched the room for him and timidly smiled. Sabre winked and smiled in return.

  Nick beamed as he eavesdropped in my head and I playfully slapped his leg. He laughed aloud. He’d never let his guard down to this extent around me before.

  “So, are you going to open that or hold it all night?” he teased.

  I returned my attention to the beautiful golden gift in my hands. Gingerly, I began to lift the tape from the underside of the package, but paused as I slid my finger under the wrapping and shot a puckish glare up at Nick. “And you’re sure if I accidentally cut myself on the paper and bleed all over the floor that you and Sabre won’t turn into ravenous monsters and suck the life out of all of my guests?”

  Nick rolled his eyes, but his mouth curved up in an evil smile. He tongued his canines, leaned closer, and murmured conspiratorially in my ear. “Well, let’s just find out, shall we?”

  With a laugh and a playful shove, I continued unwrapping the gift. Inside was a red velvet jewelry box. The box slid into the palm of my hand and the tiny hinges creaked quietly as I lifted the lid.

  I covered my racing heart. “Oh,” I breathed in wonder. “Nick. It’s amazing.” Inside the box, a pendant that read-“Dream On”-encrusted with what I was sure were diamonds lay nestled on white satin. The lights of the Christmas tree danced across the facets of the jewels, and burst like tiny wildfires. ‘Beautiful’ didn’t even come anywhere close to describing it.

  “Merry Christmas,” he said and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.

  “Is that the handsome brother?” Baby giggled behind us, and effectively rousted me from my stunned enchantment.

  “No,” Nick grimaced. “That is trouble with a capital T.”

  “Ooooooh!” she squealed, clapping her hands excitedly, “Sounds like fun!” And she skipped away to introduce herself to my slightly manic Santa.

  “She’ll be ok, won’t she? I mean, he won’t hurt her or anything?”

  “No. He’s generally pretty gentle. With most humans,” Nick teased. “So? Do you like it?” he asked as he traced his finger along the chain and across the pendant.

  “
Yes! I love it. It’s beautiful. Are they—real?”

  His lips curled with a smile of a fox. “Did you know that it takes an incredible amount of pressure and heat to create a diamond?” He tucked a stray spike of my hair behind my ear. “Or that a mathematician calculated the precise number and angles of cuts in a diamond to maximize its refractive properties?” The questions were rhetorical. He grinned at the confusion on my face. He trailed his index finger down the line of my jaw. “Yes. They’re real. As real as all the craziness of my life that I’ve subjected you to.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head and closed his eyes, obscuring the windows to his heart. When his eyes reopened, an incomprehensible pain filled them. “Emari Jewel.” He purred my name. “It’s poetic, in a way. To me, you are a treasure. You have withstood incredible pressure and heat, and yet your love and compassion for others makes you sparkle, in ways you don’t even see about yourself.”

  I dropped my head, remembering how badly my wrists had ached with the desire to be cut; how desperately I had warred within myself to gain and maintain control over my will when every fiber of my being screamed for destruction. “I haven’t held up very well though, have I?”

  He lifted my face to look him in the eyes. “You forget. I’ve seen the thoughts of the scalpel that your mind plays with when things get rough.” He turned my wrists up. “And yet I see no scars, no blood. You’ve persevered even when things were at their bleakest.”

  “I only made it this time because of you. I don’t think I would have been strong enough to resist this time if you hadn’t been here.”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered, and caressed the tendon ridges on the insides of my wrists, “I prefer to believe you still would have found the strength within yourself to go on. Despite everything that’s been thrown at you, each time you’ve picked yourself up and pressed on.”

  “But…this is too much. I can’t…” I protested.

  “Emari, please. You’ve trusted me this far. Trust me now.”

  Nick took the velvet box and guided me to the oval, oak-framed mirror in the hall; one of the few remnants from my parent’s house that I willingly displayed. He removed the necklace from the box and placed it around my neck, then kissed my temple. His lips continued to brush my skin as he whispered, “Is féidir leat teacht ar an tsíocháin i do chuid brionglóidí.”

  “Um, okay. I have no idea what you just said.”

  “Roughly translated from Irish, it means, ‘May you find peace in your dreams.’”

  I scanned his dark hair and eyes. “Are you Irish?”

  “No,” he said as he traced a thumb beneath my green eyes and tugged a wisp of my hair. “But you are.”

  I turned and slid my arms around him, traced the contours of the muscles beneath his shirt with my fingertips. I pressed myself into the safety of his arms, knowing that there was no safer place on Earth for me now.

  “My dreams will be fine, as long as you’re always here to guide them.” Okay, wow! Did I really just say that? Would I really always be able to count on Nick to be there for me? ‘Always’ was a long time. No one had ever been with me for always. Besides, I didn’t believe in knights in shining armor anymore. Did I? Yet here it seemed was mine. But, for how long? What calamity would rip him away from me? Or would he finally just walk away in exasperation? For now, I was content with the warmth of his embrace and the safety of his presence.

  The party continued until after eleven. After gifts were exchanged, people slowly drifted out in groups of two or three until only a small handful of people remained; Ivy, Jesse, Sabre and Nick. Jesse was obviously in no condition to drive, he was barely able to walk. I begged, pleaded, and threatened to strip search him for his keys—an idea he briefly considered until Nick’s dark, indignant glare caught him. He finally relented when I promised to return his car first thing in the morning. Or maybe the two avenging angels standing behind my shoulders cowed him. I may not have looked intimidating, but Nick and Sabre definitely did.

  Jesse and Ivy turned to leave, but he stumbled and nearly fell, taking Ivy with him. Sabre caught him by the arm and supported him on his Santa-belly, while Jesse muttered and complained that he was completely fine and didn’t need anyone’s help. He kept mumbling something about ‘all figured it’ and ‘all fine it.’ His faded accent amplified with inebriation. Sabre hoisted Jesse’s arm over his own shoulders and hooked his fingers through Jess’s belt loop.

  Nick and I watched them through the kitchen window as they staggered through the snow out to the car. Ivy ran ahead to open the door.

  As we piled dishes into the sink, I glanced up and saw Nick’s body stiff with tension. I followed his gaze out the window. Terror seared through my body as I realized Sabre had Jesse pinned against the car, his forearm pressed against Jess’s throat. Jesse was not a small man, and he and Sabre came eye to eye, but something about Sabre struck fear in him that was obvious even to me all the way inside the house. Justifiably, I still had my own reasons to fear this man.

  “What the…?” I dropped a handful of silverware in the sink with a clatter and started for the door. Nick grabbed my arm.

  “I’ll find out. You wait here.” He squeezed my hand, and gave me an encouraging smile before he shrugged into his coat and walked out.

  To my relief, Sabre released Jesse before Nick got to him. Jesse spun, slid into the seat as if it was greased, slammed the door shut and locked it. Dang! He’s moving pretty fast for a drunk guy. Something sobered him quickly. Ivy backed out and drove away.

  Aggravated clouds of mist rose in the cold night air as Nick and Sabre spoke. Nick stiffened and rage rippled across his features. He glanced quickly up at me and just as quickly away before he started to walk away into the night. His body began to sparkle like the new fallen snow, but Sabre grabbed his arm and snarled out a command, his breath rising in short, violent puffs. Nick cast another look at me then nodded, resigned. Then, Sabre drifted away into the night. Nick watched him go, huddled down into his jacket, hands stuffed defiantly in his pockets as though they might misbehave if he didn’t keep them under wraps. He stood there several moments, staring into the darkness where Sabre vanished. Finally, slumped reluctantly, he turned to come back inside.

  “What was that about?” I asked, as Nick stomped the snow off his feet in the kitchen entry.

  In a blink, Nick wrapped his cold arms around me, as though one of us might fall apart if he didn’t. His coat was still cold from outside and I shivered. “Oh. Sorry, Em.” As he withdrew to pull his coat off, I could see the seething storm darkening his brow, simmering behind his distracted counterfeit smile. Something tenebrous lurked in his eyes. “It was nothing. Just Sabre being Sabre. Again.”

  I could understand that. I hadn’t completely recovered from Sabre’s little joke from the other day yet—to forgive is one thing and to forget, truly another. “I see. But everything’s okay, though?”

  “Of course,” he placed his cold hand to my cheek to reassure me, but ominous clouds brewed in his eyes. His muscles were rigid with tension as I ran my hand down the length of his arm and rested my palm on his chest. I didn’t have to be a mind-bender to know the truth. His eyes and body language spoke volumes and his heart crashing against my fingertips conveyed a library. Something more than what he was telling had happened between Sabre and Jesse. They hardly said a dozen words to one another all night. There had been no hostility between them until Sabre hauled Jess’s drunk ass out to the car.

  Nick and I spent a few minutes gathering dishes and cleaning up trash in silence. I picked up Jesse’s drink glass, and recalled how upset he was about—everything. It worried me how drunk he’d gotten. Normally, he wasn’t like that. Although, what, really, was normal for any of us lately? I turned on the hot water in the sink to get started on the dirty dishes.

  “Um, Em? I’m going to need to leave for a while.”

  “Oh, I see how you are. Leaving me to do all the dirty work,” I teased and shut off the water
.

  His brows descended and hooded his eyes with remorse. He looked so guilty, as if he’d just deceived me in the worst possible way.

  “I’m only teasing, honey,” I told him. His eyes brightened slightly at my endearment. “Aren’t you staying the night?” Nick had become my constant companion; my friend and confidante each day, my pillow and dream catcher each night.

  His hands wrapped around my waist and I remembered my dad used to tell me that my mother’s waist was so tiny when they got married, he could reach his hands around her. Nick smiled at the captured memory. “What kind of a guy do you think I am, anyway?” he teased back. “I do have some morals, you know.”

  I giggled at him. His face darkened, grave and severe and he tried to chase it away before I noticed. Too late. I’d noticed. Something serious was going on that he didn’t want me to know, and had no intention of sharing with me. At least not for now.

  We stood inches apart, our fingers intertwined. “Gotta go, hon. I really need to talk to Sabre.” Nick lingered, looking down into my eyes. I tried desperately to read those deep obsidian pools, but the mixture of passion, empathy and rage left their story confused. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead.

  I closed my eyes, delighted in his touch, his breath in my hair, his thumb stroking my wrist. My heart raced and every nerve in my body sparked on rapid fire. I breathed in his smell, all leather and cologne and security; imbibed his heat, his passion, his spirit.

  Standing there so close to him, I grew giddy. Though Nick’s presence was definitely a contributing factor, this sensation went beyond my physical response to his touch. Grainy confused pictures like old newsreels buzzed in my head; spinning and fleeting images that flashed past my mind’s eye before I could focus on them, but nothing I could grasp or make solid. It was strange. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

  Nick groaned quietly and backed away. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Don’t wait up, though, okay?”