Another Mother: a gripping psychological family drama

by Amanda James

  ‘Yes. I tell Nadine and she vets you, but she’ll say yes, or I’ll have a flounce or two. What, do you want a three-day interview in which you have to present PowerPoints and convince the board of directors why you’re the best in the UK?’

  Lu laughed again. ‘You’re hilarious. Thanks for accepting me – I’m so looking forward to working with you.’ Then a cloud passed over her eyes. ‘Ah. There might be a problem.’

  Rosie frowned. ‘What?’

  ‘Nadine will want references. I left my last job without one because I wrote a letter of resignation and was going to give them a month’s notice. I never went back though.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘The day I handed my resignation in was the day I returned home to find that my adoptive mum had … had been killed in a road accident.’

  Rosie wanted to reach out and give Lu a hug, but something told her that wouldn’t be wise. Lu’s eyes flitted from window to table like a couple of wary birds and she continually moved her saucer slowly round and round with her two forefingers.

  ‘God, Lu, I’m so sorry. You have been through it, haven’t you? So, your boss didn’t give you a reference. Didn’t he or she know the circumstances?’

  Lu glanced up and her green eyes flashed, cat-like. ‘Oh, he knew all right. He was just being a bastard because I’d been rude to him that day. Just as well that he didn’t give me a reference, he would have said I was insubordinate or crap at my job just to get back at me, I expect.’

  ‘Sounds like you were right to leave. And don’t worry, if Nadine asks, I’ll tell her that because you were grief stricken you just left without a word and your boss was a stickler for rules or something like that. It will be cool.’

  ‘No, I resigned before I found out about—’

  ‘I know that, but she doesn’t.’ Rosie tapped the side of her nose and thought a change of subject might be welcome. ‘So where is your birth mum today?’

  ‘She’s just up the road from the hotel. She part owns the jewellery shop – the Seaside Silver Company. She’s had cover the past few days, but she’s gone back in for the rest of the week now.’

  ‘Oh, right. I’ve been past there, but just window shopping. I think my mum knew yours – can’t be sure – but I seem to think they were friends a while back. Ask her if she remembers Val Green.’

  ‘Oh really? Yeah, I’ll ask. Does she live here too?’

  ‘Did. She and Dad used to run a bar in town, but Mum decided she wanted to move to Spain. We used to go there on holiday when me and my brother Jake were kids. Business dipped a bit here about five years ago, so they decided that having a bar in Spain would be cheaper to run and more profitable in the tourist season. They said I could come and work for them, but my heart is here. In an odd way I feel a bit abandoned …’ Rosie paused; that was probably a stupid thing to say. ‘Not in the same way as you did when you were younger, I hasten to add. But I do miss my parents – Mum especially.’

  Lu nodded and looked at her watch. ‘Speaking of which, I must go and see my birth mother. I said I’d let her give me the grand tour.’

  ‘When will you be able start work, do you think?’ Rosie wanted to be sure that Lu was up for it.

  ‘Tomorrow if you like?’

  ‘Brilliant. I’ll have a word with Nadine and speak to you later.’

  Rosie waved to Lu as she turned the corner and then hurried back to Pebble House. In her mind she tried to organise a few counter-responses to potential arguments from Nadine, and doubt settled in her chest. Then she thought about everything Lu had been through and how she’d handled it all with honest words and quiet strength. Rosie’s smile grew as her doubt shrank. Whatever the arguments from Nadine, she’d win them, because today she had stood her ground and achieved her goal, and once lovely Lu was working alongside her, there’d be two of them to reckon with.

  13

  ‘At last! I thought you’d decided to go back to Sheffield,’ Mellyn says as I walk through the door of Seaside Silver Company. Her voice is light and jokey, but her eyes say otherwise. My eyes slide to my watch – five minutes late, that’s all. Here we go again. What the hell is her problem? I don’t respond, just look at the display of jewellery in front of the till counter upon which she leans, surveying me with those eyes, the colour of waves on a dull day.

  ‘My goodness, what a totally beautiful collection you have here,’ I say, and mean it. I turn in a slow circle and look at the other cabinets around the shop. All manner of silver jewellery nestled on trays of pebbles, and strings of beads mixed with silver shells and precious stones dangle from driftwood and fishing net.

  ‘Thanks, I think so. And thankfully so do the tourists. This is the quietest we’ve been all morning.’ Mellyn allows one side of her mouth to turn up and her eyes become a little warmer.

  I let a strand of beads run over the back of my hand, enjoying their cool silky touch on my skin. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start. There’s so much choice.’

  ‘Anything you’d like, it’s yours. Take ten items – my gift to you.’

  Heat floods my cheeks. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean that to sound like I was ask—’

  ‘I know. I was going to say it anyway.’ Mellyn nods towards an earring display on a driftwood log. ‘Those jade earrings would look fantastic with your eye colour and dark hair. Try them on.’

  ‘Only if you let me pay for them,’ I begin, but the look on Mellyn’s face freezes my words. It’s the same expression of tumult that she’d worn at the art gallery. I look away and back at the beads.

  ‘What’s the matter with you? Can’t you let me do something nice for once without always questioning it?’

  Her tone makes me think of a schoolteacher chastising a naughty child. I cast around my memory trying to think of how I’d questioned her. Could it have been about the boat? It must have been, but that was an extreme present; it would be normal to be a bit shocked, wouldn’t it? I risk a sideways glance and wish I hadn’t. No longer grey waves, her eyes have become charcoal storm clouds, and her mouth has turned down at both corners like some nightmare clown’s.

  ‘Just think how many birthdays, Christmases, and just-because-you’re-my-daughter presents I’ve missed. Can’t you see I love you and want to make things, right?’

  Mellyn’s voice wobbles on the last few words and I look over again. The clown mouth quivers and, as I watch, the entire mask of anger fractures, slips away along with the tears running silently over the contours of her face. She said she loves me. My God, how do I feel about that? Good, I think, but I know I can’t say it back.

  I hurry over and reach for her hand across the counter. ‘Mellyn, Mel … please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of—’

  Mellyn releases my hand. ‘Mel now, is it? For one moment there I thought you were going to call me Mum … thought you were going to say it the other day on the boat too after I’d told you all about what happened in the past. You can’t bring yourself to, though, can you?’

  There’s a mixture of sorrow and ice in her expression and I don’t know what to say to make it go away. I had been right when I’d noticed her smile not reaching her eyes that day. She was disappointed, after all. ‘I … I did tell you that I felt closer to you now and—’

  ‘You did. Ignore me, I’m being silly.’ Her smile is too bright, her eyes too sparkly. ‘And as regards to me thinking that you’re taking advantage, you’ll soon know me well enough to realise that nobody makes me think anything. I think things because I want to. I am not easily led, not even by you. I have had to be tough, independent and savvy. Now please. Make me happy and choose some jewellery?’

  I look at her tearful eyes and hopeful smile and nod. I don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing. ‘Well, thank you. I do so appreciate it.’

  ‘Okay, now go and choose. I can’t wait to see what you’ll pick!’ She claps her hands and makes a noise in her throat that sounds almost like a giggle. A huge fake smile bani
shes all signs of sadness.

  To hide my surprise, I turn my back and look unseeing at the display of earrings. How the hell can I cope with all this? It will certainly take some time for me to accept her almost magical switch from one emotion to another, one mood to another. In a way, her mood hopping from sad to happy reminds me of a storm clearing away oppressive heavy feelings on a humid day. But that doesn’t happen instantly, does it? And it leaves people feeling refreshed and pleased that the day is once more light and hopeful. The change in Mellyn has the opposite effect. I can’t feel light and hopeful now she’s smiling, because I know without doubt there will soon be another storm building in a corner of her sky.

  ‘Don’t let me catch you looking at the prices either.’ Her voice just behind startles me. I’d not heard her leave the counter. ‘Pick with the eye, not with the head.’

  An hour later I look in a mirror in the storeroom of the shop and have to admit that the jade earrings reflect my eyes and look great against my suntanned skin and dark hair. A beautiful mother-of-pearl bead shell and silver necklace nestles in the hollow of my throat, and two rings and two bracelets of a similar style complete the gift session. Mellyn had tried to force more on me, but I explained that it would feel too over the top. I normally only wear a watch and a ring. She’d frowned at this, particularly when she’d learned that the ring had been my adoptive mother’s but had let it go nonetheless.

  I hear the bell on the shop door tinkle indicating a customer had left the shop. Mellyn comes in behind me, places her hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes through the mirror. ‘Absolutely stunning, dahling!’

  Despite her previous mood and the hurtful things, she said, my smile is genuine. When Mellyn’s on form it’s infectious. ‘Why thank you. I really love them all.’

  ‘Not surprised. You have a good eye for the most expensive pieces,’ she says with a wink.

  My reflection looks like a waxwork as the smile fixes itself on my lips, though inside my head I’m screaming with anger. Damn her! After all she said about picking anything and not looking at the price tag! Now she’s trying to make me feel like a sponger. My breathing quickens and it’s all I can do to keep smiling and my anger buried. Through gritted teeth I manage, ‘Really? I have never owned expensive jewellery.’

  ‘Well you do now.’ She kisses me on the cheek and breezes back into the shop, tossing over her shoulder, ‘Shall we go out for dinner this evening, so you can show off in all your finery?’

  At that moment I really don’t feel like going anywhere with her, apart from to see a psychiatrist, but then remind myself that she needs my help; that’s why I’ve arranged to extend my stay, after all. If I can’t hack her odd behaviour, then I should pack up and go home. Then a thought strikes me, and I wish it hadn’t. Sometimes there were similarities between my old school bully Megan and Mellyn. Though Megan had been a blatant bully and hadn’t the subtly or finesse that Mellyn had when setting out to get her own way, they both had that similar cold, even predatory look in their eye when they were doing it.

  I look at my frowny face in the mirror and lift my chin, practise a determined no-nonsense stare instead. No. Mellyn isn’t a bully – well, not like Megan anyway. And even if she is, I need to face up to her and make this work. Mellyn needs me and I need her. I am the new me, the strong me, the confident me. I will stay here, look after her. My birth mum needs me. The fact that she’s had a tough life needs to be remembered. The fact that she fought to keep me needs to be bloody remembered. Without her determination I would never have existed in the first place. I would have been terminated … ended. So, if she’s a bit fucked up in the head, I need to learn to deal with it. We would go out. It will be a lovely surprise to tell her I’ll be staying in St Ives for a while over dinner – well, if Nadine has said yes, of course.

  ‘Lu?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘So, what do you think!’ Mellyn calls from the shop. ‘About dinner?’

  ‘I think that would be a lovely idea!’

  A stain in the shape of a map of Italy looks down on me from a corner of the hotel room ceiling. When I say Italy, I mean the boot bit. I wonder how many people have laid on this bed looking at it and remembering past holidays, or even planning to go there. Perhaps it had inspired some to go to the pizza place in town. Maybe it hadn’t. I would bet that I’m the only one whose brain has turned a wiggly stain on a ceiling into anything at all, let alone a map. Ponderings such as these indicate that it’s time for a nap.

  I yawn and turn my head on the pillow, noticing a trail of sandy footprints from the carpet by the door to the bathroom. I expect that I could soon be vacuuming similar prints from all the carpets in Pebble House and cross my fingers under the pillow. When I’d got back an hour or so ago Rosie wasn’t around, and Alan sat on reception with a sour expression on his haughty features. I’d smiled and received a curt nod in response. This wasn’t unusual, however, so I shouldn’t read too much into it.

  A knock on the door drags me back from sleep just as I’m drifting into it and I pull a pillow over my head. The knock comes again a few seconds later, so reluctantly I slip from the bed and open the door.

  ‘You okay?’ Rosie says, looking at my hair.

  I reach up and realise it’s stuck up at the front because of the pillow. I pat it down. ‘Yes, good. Just been trying to have a little snooze.’

  ‘Oh, sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to tell you what happened with Nadine.’

  ‘Come in, come in.’ I pull out the chair from the desk for her and I sit on the bed. Everything I want to do rests on the next few minutes and I watch Rosie’s face carefully. It doesn’t look particularly hopeful.

  Rosie sits down and puts her head on one side. She isn’t smiling. ‘I talked to Nadine and as I expected she tried to backtrack on what she’d said this morning … and would you believe that she said no to hiring you?’

  I tell myself that it doesn’t matter, even as a heavy weight squashes hopeful excitement flat in my chest. I’ll just have to get another job elsewhere. ‘Never mind. Thanks for doing you best, Rosie.’ I see a flicker of a smile in her eyes and fold my arms. What’s so funny?

  ‘I asked you if you believed it, and you haven’t answered me,’ she says, the flicker of a smile now a flame and a giggle enters her voice.

  ‘I’m not sure what you mean. Yes, of course I believe it.’

  ‘Well that’s where you’d be wrong, because she said yes!’ Rosie throws her arms up and bursts into laughter. ‘Your face is a picture!’

  I watch her, trying to see the funny side of my heart falling into my boots because of what she’d said at first. She points at my expression and sets off giggling again. I see my Neanderthal frown in the mirror and I laugh too. ‘That was very cruel, Rosie, but I’m glad she said yes.’

  Placing her hand on her ribcage she takes a few calming breaths and nods. ‘It’s true that she didn’t like the idea of someone I obviously get on with working here, but I soon persuaded her by threatening to flounce out again.’

  I picture Rosie flouncing and Nadine’s expression. ‘Thanks. And when do I start?’

  ‘Tomorrow.’

  ‘Excellent.’ As I say that, it occurs to me that I won’t be able to stay at the hotel indefinitely. I’ve been so caught up in everything to do with Mellyn that I hadn’t thought it through. My face must register my concern.

  ‘You okay?’ Rosie asks.

  ‘Fine. No, I was just thinking that I’d need to get flat hunting pretty quickly.’

  ‘Oh. I assumed that you’d stay with your birth mother.’

  It’s then that I realise that’s the only bit I had thought through. In the shop this morning as I witnessed yet another of Mellyn’s storms, any idea of staying at Seal Cottage had been sucked out and shredded in the gale. I want to stay and help her, but instinctively I know that living together would be disastrous. ‘I think it’s a bit soon for that. I’ll see how it all goes.’

  Rosie picks wha
t looks like dried jam from her overall and speaks to her shoes. ‘You could always stay at mine. I have two bedrooms. The second one is very small, but you’re welcome to it and I could use the rent.’

  Living and working with Rosie … how would that be? I do like the woman, really like her, but did I want to become that close? If I was to keep Mellyn happy and her moods a secret, it wouldn’t work. Rosie is just so sweet, open and friendly, I’d be crying on her shoulder in no time. I don’t want to say no outright, but I can’t say yes either. I stand and straighten the duvet, so she can’t see my face. ‘Er, can I think about that? I’m not really sure what I want to do yet.’

  ‘No problem. I’m not sure that I could stand living and working with myself either, if I had a choice.’

  She’s nothing if not perceptive. I turn around and hope my face looks honest. ‘It’s not that. I think you’re lovely. I just need to decide if I want to live by myself for a while. I’m thirty and have never tried it. Can you imagine?’ I raise my arms and the two bracelets that I’d got that morning clink together.

  ‘I totally understand,’ she says, reaching out to touch the bracelets. ‘These are gorgeous – new?’

  I nod and show her the rest, which I’d put in a drawer. ‘A present from Mellyn.’

  ‘Mellyn?’ Rosie says, and then realisation dawned. ‘Oh yes, your birth mum. Wow, they are stunning.’

  ‘They are. The trouble is, I’m not used to wearing lots of jewellery. It just isn’t me. I will wear them often though because Mellyn … Mum, will think I don’t really like them if I don’t. She’s quite sensitive.’

  ‘Do you call her Mellyn or Mum?’

  ‘Mellyn at the moment. I don’t feel right calling her Mum yet. She wants to be called Mum, but I feel it would be betraying the only Mum I ever knew until recently …’

  ‘You should do what makes you feel comfortable. No good pandering to people if you don’t feel it’s the right thing inside, is it?’ Rosie stands up, twists her hair up into a ponytail and secures it with a blue velvet band that matches her eyes perfectly.