Another Mother: a gripping psychological family drama

by Amanda James

Once inside Val’s room she closes the door and puts both hands on my shoulders. ‘Now, are you sure nothing’s happened to Rosie?’ She searches my face.

  I wipe my eyes. ‘No. It has nothing to do with her.’

  ‘Right. Then before you tell me what it’s all about, I want you to go into the bathroom and get out of those wet things. Have a shower and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’ She slips off her dressing gown to reveal red candy-striped pyjamas. ‘Put this on after, it’s lovely and warm.’

  Hot water, at first painful, works the chills from my body and I realise that shock hasn’t been the only cause for my shakes. I had been freezing. Thank God I’d come to Val. There’s no way I’d be shampooing my hair and washing seaweed from my skin if I’d gone to the police. Val is my saviour. Yes, I’m still trapped in a nightmare, but I can at least hope for daylight now.

  ‘Sit on the bed, love. You look a lot better for that shower. I didn’t like that blue tinge to your mouth. Now, you might not like it, but I’m putting lots of sugar in your tea for shock.’ Val places her hand gently on my cheek. I have to look away to stop the tears coming again.

  The sweet tea makes me gag but instinct urges me to drink. The sugar rush is instant and its heat warms my insides. My brain wakes up and I take a few deep breaths to steady my giddiness. ‘Thanks, Val. I’m beginning to feel more like myself now.’

  ‘Tea is wonderful for shock. I’ll make you another when you’ve had that.’ She reaches out and pats my hand. ‘Take your time. You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong until you feel like it.’

  ‘I’m ready now. I have to tell someone else to make sure it’s real … that it all happened.’ My throat grows thick with emotion as a series of flashbacks from the evening whirl in my head. I draw a breath and tell her everything.

  During the time it takes to tell her, Val looks like my shock has jumped across the room and into her. I need two more cups of tea and half a box of tissues to explain, and at the end of it all, Val pulls a bottle of red wine from a bag in the wardrobe and takes a few pulls straight from the bottle.

  Pale faced, she grabs a handful of tissues, sits opposite in an armchair and wipes silent tears from her face. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Lu. If I had been braver a few years ago … gone to the police, you would never have had to go through this terrible nightmare.’

  ‘But as you said to Rosie, you didn’t really have anything, did you? Just hints and half-truths from a drunken game. Mellyn would have denied it for sure.’

  ‘Yes, but I could have at least tried. The thing is, I had an affair with the man next door. Just a one-night stand, didn’t mean anything, and luckily, he and his wife moved house afterwards … but it would have killed my husband. We’ve been together since school, and …’ Val flaps a tissue at me and shakes her head.

  ‘Mellyn did mention it—’

  ‘She did? Oh, I am so ashamed. I regretted it as soon as it had happened. I love my husband so much. I was such a bloody fool. I only told her because she told me about Jack at the Crab Shack.’ She sniffs and raises an eyebrow. ‘Not sure you knew about that.’ I say I did. ‘So, my sordid little secret seemed the logical truth to tell Mellyn.’

  ‘Mellyn told me she silenced you with threats and lies. I don’t blame you for keeping quiet. You had so much to lose, and you didn’t have any evidence about what she’d done.’

  Relief lights the contours of Val’s face and she puts a shaking hand to her mouth. ‘Thanks for understanding, Lu. I don’t deserve it, but do you think you could keep this from Rosie? For her sake more than mine.’

  ‘Of course. There’s no reason for her to know. What would be the point?’

  ‘Thank you. So, what will you do now?’ Val takes a deep breath and exhales.

  ‘I would be grateful if I could stay here tonight – in another guest room like you said. I’ll pay you back, of course, when—’

  ‘No, love, I don’t mean tonight, I meant about Mellyn. Will you go to the police in the morning? I’ll gladly come with you.’

  I want to answer, but the little kernel of guilt that has lived in the pit of my stomach for the last few months swells to gigantic proportions and stops me opening my mouth. I look into Val’s kind blue eyes and know it has to come out. I tell her that I knew about Mellyn killing her husband, but the version she had told me. ‘So, I’m to blame too, aren’t I?’ I say.

  ‘No. No you aren’t!’ Val shakes her head and sticks out her chin. ‘You didn’t know that she killed him in the way she did until tonight. You thought you were protecting your mum’s secret and felt sorry that she’d endured years of bullying from a brute of a husband.’

  She sniffs into a tissue, comes to sit next to me on the bed and puts her arm around me. ‘You poor, poor, girl. You had no choice. You’d just lost your lovely mum and then at last found your birth mum after all these years. Betraying her would mean the end of everything. And now to find that Mellyn killed your mum … well, it doesn’t bear thinking about. You must be in such turmoil, not to say shock.’

  I wonder if Val is in fact a guardian angel. She understands completely. ‘Thank you, Val. That’s exactly why I kept quiet. And I don’t know how I feel just now. It all feels like some vile nightmare to be honest.’

  ‘Yes, it would do. And I will keep quiet. If Mellyn tries to drag you down with her, just deny you knew anything at all until tonight.’ She strokes my hair and says, ‘You do know you have to go to the police now, don’t you? Even if she is your mum. She’s dangerous, love, and if you let her off the hook, there’s no telling what she might do.’

  I sigh. ‘Yes, I know. I kept quiet in the past, but that was before I knew what she’d … what she’d done to my …’ My throat closes over and I blow my nose.

  Val pats my shoulder and rings reception to organise another room for me. I walk over to the window and peep through the curtain, half expecting to see Mellyn staring back. The dark street is empty, and I know how it feels. My mother is a cold-blooded killer, a criminal. She also needs professional help, so telling the police won’t be like a betrayal, it will be a kindness. And let’s not bloody forget she tried to kill me tonight … so why do I feel so bad? I turn from the window.

  ‘Mellyn will probably deny it all anyway. It’ll be my word against hers.’

  ‘Not quite,’ Val says. ‘Didn’t you say you’d recently made her go to the doctor and she’d talked about her past?’

  ‘Yes, but you know her. She’s a very good liar. She told me so many lies in the end I never knew what was true and what was false. She changed and swapped the past around to suit her. She was even going to change her name to Tamsyn at one time.’

  ‘She … she … wanted to change it to Tamsyn?’ Val frowns.

  ‘Yes, she wanted to change it to that because she said kids teased her at school or something …’ I stop as the colour drains from Val’s face and her mouth drops open. I feel my heart jump. ‘What’s wrong?

  ‘I … I’m okay. It’s just all this trauma I suppose. And if I’m traumatised God knows what you must be.’

  I don’t think she’s telling the truth; her voice went high at the end and she is definitely flustered. But she’s right that I’m traumatised. I watch Val’s mouth moving, hear the sounds of words coming out of it, yet my brain refuses to make sense of them. I’m halfway down the rabbit hole and Val is the only thing from this world, this reality, keeping me from falling. Part of me wants to fall, to escape from the last six months, to find myself back behind my desk looking at the clouds and remembering Megan in the playground. No. Not to that moment … I had to escape to a few hours before it, so I could stop Mum from linking arms with Mellyn and stepping into the road. Everything would be normal again.

  I would have to go back to the old, boring, timid me, existing day to day, never looking up, going through the motions, but right at this moment, I have never wanted anything more. I watch Val’s mouth come to a stop and she shakes my shoulder gently.

  ‘Lu? Have you been liste
ning?’

  ‘No. I haven’t really been taking it in …’

  ‘Not surprised. Perhaps you should go to bed now. I was just telling you that the receptionist’s left the key in the door and it’s just two doors down—’

  ‘No. I’ll never be able to sleep.’ But even as I say this I’m yawning. I nod and stand up. ‘Yes, I think I’ll go to bed now, Val. Thanks so much for everything, you’ll never know how much—’

  ‘Hey, no need to thank me. Come on, you’re exhausted.’ Val puts her arm around my shoulders and guides me out into the corridor.

  I thank her again and turn off the light, but as soon as my head hits the pillow I pass into oblivion.

  In the half light, Val rubbed her eyes and reached an arm out of bed, her fingers patting the bedside table. Where was her damned mobile? At last she found the switch of the bedside lamp and followed the sound of the insistent ringing to the chair a few feet away.

  ‘Hello?’ she said, unable to see the caller ID without her reading glasses.

  ‘Mum, it’s me. Sorry to bother you so early, but I need to speak to you.’

  Val got back into bed and peered at the clock. Six forty-five. There was something the matter with Rosie’s voice. It was hiding tears. ‘What’s wrong, love?’

  ‘Oh, Mum. I’ve had an awful night! It’s Mellyn, she’s gone crazy!’ Rosie’s voice cracked and her racking sobs down the line twisted Val’s stomach.

  ‘What’s she done? Has she hurt you? Because if she has, I swear I’ll—’

  ‘No. No, don’t worry, I haven’t seen her. But she called me at midnight last night.’ Rosie took a few deep breaths and her voice became calmer. ‘She was obviously blind drunk, cursing, swearing, and demanding to see Lu. She was convinced I had her with me, or knew where she was.’ Rosie paused and blew her nose. ‘I’ve never heard language like it. She wouldn’t believe me when I said I hadn’t seen Lu. She yelled at me that I was sheltering “the devious bitch” and that when she caught up with her she’d kill her. And then she called me some more vile names and then put the phone down.’

  ‘Oh, my goodness!’ Val wanted to reach down the phone and hold her daughter tight. ‘You poor thing, I wish you’d have phoned me last night. I could have told you about—’

  ‘I didn’t want to disturb you, especially as we didn’t part on good terms.’ Rosie rushed on before Val had a chance to explain. ‘Anyway, I phoned the police and told them what happened, that I was frantic for Lu’s safety and I was going around there. They warned me to stay away but I had to do something.’

  ‘Rosie, it’s okay, listen—’

  ‘The police got to Mellyn’s just before I did, but she wasn’t there. The officers wouldn’t let me in, but said they’d found half a bottle of brandy on a table and a glass had been smashed against the wall. I told them they should search the Sprite, but the boat was gone.’ Rosie ended on a sob. ‘Mum, I think Mellyn’s taken Lu on the boat and … God knows what she’s done! I must have phoned Lu’s mobile about a hundred times and it goes straight to voice—’

  ‘Listen to me! Lu’s safe. She’s here at my B&B.’

  An intake of breath. ‘What? I … oh, thank God! But why, what happened?’

  ‘Look. The best thing is for you to come around and I can tell you all about it then. I’ll meet you in reception in fifteen minutes?’

  ‘I’ll be there in ten.’

  34

  To Val, her daughter looked more like a little child than a grown woman today. After Val had told her everything, Rosie sat in the armchair hugging her knees, huge blue eyes focused on nothing, her face a snowdrop under honey curls.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want breakfast? I could have it sent up here and—’

  ‘No thanks, Mum. I won’t be able to eat anything until I’ve seen Lu.’

  ‘Sleep is the best thing for her right now. I’m worried about you. You’ve had a right night of it and then had to come to terms with everything I’ve just told you too. Please let me order breakfast. If not a full English, then just some toast …’

  A knock at the door drew Rosie from the chair. Val opened the door and Lu walked in, her raven hair a bird’s nest; dark shadows under her eyes sucked khaki from the moss-green. ‘Rosie,’ she whispered, looking as if her whole face was hiding behind a stiff upper lip.

  Rosie didn’t bother to hide and burst into tears, wrapping her friend in a tight hug as she did so. ‘Thank God you’re alright,’ she sniffed. ‘You wouldn’t believe what happened to me last night.’

  Lu frowned over Rosie’s shoulder at Val. ‘I’ll go and sort us all out some breakfast,’ Val said in answer. ‘Leave you two to catch up on all the’—she stopped and shrugged—‘madness, I suppose you’d call it.’

  Once Val leaves, Rosie pulls me close again. ‘I have been so worried about you,’ she says into my hair. Then she draws back, and her eyes hold mine with such intensity that I feel heat rise in my cheeks. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done if …’

  I clear my throat and pat her back. God, all I need is an ‘awumah’ and I’d be Adelaide. Adelaide. Hell, she’ll be beside herself when she finds out about all this. A picture of two Adelaides side by side smacks me in the funny bone and I hear myself laugh, but the laugh sounds awkward and uncomfortable. Rosie frowns and walks towards the window. Does she think I’m laughing at her?

  ‘I’m not laughing at you, Rosie. I’m not laughing at anything, really. I don’t feel right in the head at the moment, to be honest …’

  She turns and gives me the sweetest smile. ‘I’m not surprised, with everything you’ve just been through.’ When I hold her gaze, she looks at her hands and her face grows very pink. This puzzles me. Before, she’d looked into my eyes so intently I had become embarrassed, and now the situation is reversed. It’s as if … as if we … no, that’s a ridiculous thought. It isn’t even a real thought, just the tail end of madness, a blink of emotion in the eye of the storm.

  She stops looking at her hands and I see her skin has gone back to its normal colour again. ‘Sit down and I’ll tell you about last night,’ she says, ‘and I’m sorry, it’s more bad news.’

  I sit by the window while Val and her daughter fuss about finding clothes for me to put on, and think about what Rosie has just told me. It’s no shock that Mellyn had said she’d kill me when she found me. She tried to kill me last night. She’d killed her parents, her husband … why not her daughter? I watch the first few early morning people spill from buildings into streets and go about their business.

  Two bearded young men in bohemian clothes and blond dreadlocks shove hands in their pockets and talk together on a street corner. I make up a whole story about who they are and what their lives are like. An elderly woman aided by a walking frame turns the corner and eyes the young men with contempt. They’re blocking her path but, deep in conversation, they haven’t noticed. She thrusts a whiskered chin and shuffles closer. One of the men gives her the biggest smile and alerts his friend to her presence. They stand aside and I watch the smiley one’s lips say sorry. The old woman makes her mouth small, tight and mean and quickens her shuffle as if she’s afraid of being infected by their proximity.

  Even though the old woman looks nothing like my m … Mellyn, there’s a trace of her in the tight mean mouth, the quick shuffle. I can tell the old woman’s manner is born of fear and prejudice, and what little I know of Mellyn’s real truth makes them similar. Perhaps the origin of her psychosis was in fear. Fear of being unloved. There might also be abandonment issues and certainly jealousy.

  The men embrace, and then the street corner is empty. A conversation about breakfast goes on behind me and I decide there’s little point in trying to understand Mellyn’s actions until I know the whole truth.

  Will I ever know the whole truth?

  ‘Lu, we thought that these might be okay?’ Rosie tries not to laugh as she holds up red skinny jeans and a lacy white T-shirt.

  ‘Your underwear is dry, Lu,’ Val says,
taking a second breakfast tray from a girl at the door and setting it on the bed. ‘I know my clothes aren’t ideal, but Rosie’s wouldn’t fit you. What with her being the size of an elf and all.’

  Good, a normal conversation. That’s what I need. My brain needs respite. I say the clothes are fine and that the proffered flip-flops would be great until I manage to get my clothes from Seal Cottage.

  ‘We’ve been thinking,’ Rosie says, and passes me a tray full of breakfast. ‘We need a plan. The first thing to decide is where you will stay. You can’t stay at the cottage in case Mellyn comes back.’

  ‘No. That’s just occurred to me,’ I say, and apply myself to sausage, scrambled eggs and bacon as if there was a time limit on their consumption. I presume stress, heartache and a night swim brings out the survival instinct’s desire for fuel.

  Val butters toast. ‘You can stay with Rosie. I was going to – we’ve made up’—she winks at her daughter—‘but your need is greater. I’ll stay put here in the B&B. I’m going to stay for a few more days until I can be sure you’re both alright.’

  I point to a mouth stuffed with breakfast and make a big show of nodding while I give myself time to come up with an excuse. The intense look Rosie gave me earlier is still hanging around, doing odd things to my feelings. Looking at her pouty lips now, I flush as an image of me lying in her bed planting kisses along her neck shows up. Madness. I don’t think staying at her house would be a good idea. Not while my brain resembles a bowl of cold spaghetti.

  ‘Thanks so much for the offer, but I could do with some time alone to think. It’s all been a huge shock.’ Rosie wraps herself around a slice of toast, but Val nods her understanding. ‘I’ll stay at Pebble House for the time being.’

  After breakfast, Rosie and Val decide to take my matters into their hands. I’m incapable of logical thought for more than a few moments. Not surprising. The shock is wearing off a little, but emotional turmoil kicks around my insides. The matters in hand amount to a visit to the police station to see if they have discovered more about Mellyn’s whereabouts.