Love Don't Have to Hurt

by Lucinda John

  She didn’t reply, she just stood there frozen. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a warm rag to clean her up. I then redressed her in everything except her panties, since they were now ruined. Picking up her duffle bag from the ground, I carried her to the car.

  Once she was securely in the front seat, I stuck my head in the window to say hi to her cousin. I could tell that the young girl sitting in the driver’s seat and Aimesha were kin, because both of them had that rare beauty. I pulled Aimesha’s head towards mine and covered my lips with hers, savoring her taste before she left.

  “See you later wifey,” I smirked.

  “See you later, Alex,” she blushed.

  I stood there and watched as the car drove away. I could still taste her pussy on my lips as I walked back into my apartment. As bad as I wanted to savor her taste, I knew it was bad hygiene, so I decided to brush my teeth and gargle with mouthwash.

  “This girl gonna have me walking around with the worst case of blue balls,” I said to myself as I walked into the shower.

  I replayed the events that just took place in order to get my rocks off. I wasn’t a big fan of masturbating, but it would have to do until Aimesha became mine. I could have easily called up a broad and had her handle my hard on, but these bitches were too grimy. I was like a walking power ball ticket to these hoes. The only person that had the ability to luck up and have me was Aimesha. After my first nut, my dick was still aching for attention, so I jacked off again and went right to sleep, with thoughts of a future with Aimesha dancing around in my head.

  Chapter 29

  Aimesha

  “Don’t look at me like that,” I said to Shameeka as she drove us to her house.

  “He’s fine. Look way better than John’s monkey looking ass,” she smirked. “What do you see in him anyways?”

  “It’s not always about the looks,” I told her.

  “John looks mean, but Mr. Sexy, ooooooooweeeeeee he can get the business,” she squealed. “Plus, I can tell he’s feeling you.”

  “How you figure that out?”

  “The way he looks at you is the same way my dad looks at my mom,” she replied.

  For the remainder of the drive, she jammed to Future, while I was left to my thoughts. The last few days I spent with Alex was like heaven. He was so sweet, attentive, and gentle. He would always make sure I ate before he would eat, he would rub my ass until I fell asleep, and he would always talk about his future with me in it. John never talked about anything more than us being shacked up. I brought up marriage one time and he smacked me in the mouth for talking crazy.

  I dropped Shameeka off and decided to hurry and head home before John. I wanted to jump in the shower and wash Alex’s scent off of me to avoid an altercation. I gave a lot of thought to me following behind him to North Carolina. I even looked up a few colleges and houses up there. The more I thought about things, moving away didn’t sound too bad.

  My mind traveled back to the fye head I received from Alex. John was a beast when it came to eating pussy, but Alex put him to shame. Not to mention, Alex was hanging more than John. The thought of me running my tongue against Alex’s long thick shaft had my pussy dripping wet. It was something about his touches, kisses, and presence that had my pussy thumping as if it had a heartbeat of its on.

  When I arrived home, my heart jumped for joy when I didn’t see John’s car. I pulled out my phone, sending Alex a text saying that I made it home safely and that I would call him once I got settled. I sat in the car and waited for his response before deleting every record from him in my phone and walking inside.

  POW!

  I was hit with a blow to the nose that caused me to tumble and fall. I tried my best to hide my wet pussy with my dress, but the damage was done. Holding my bloody nose in the palm of my hand, I looked up and saw the devil.

  “You out here being a thot?” John yelled, kicking me in the back, causing me to cry out in pain.

  “You not going to be happy until I fuck your ass up!” he roared as he hit me with a two piece that had me dazed.

  John was beating my ass as if I was one of his workers that came up short. With each blow he delivered to my body, he would call me all types of bitches and hoes. I felt my body burn with fire as I began getting weak. I was so drained from the ass whopping I was suffering that I could no longer scream and beg him to stop. Balled up in a fetal position, I sobbed as John viciously kicked me as if he was the SWAT team kicking down the door of a trap house.

  “You gonna stay your motherfucking ass in this house until I tell you to!” he yelled.

  I could hear him pick up my phone and go through it. Thank God I deleted the messages, I thought to myself. When he couldn’t find anything, he threw my phone against the wall, shattering it.

  “Dumb bitch fucking around on me,” he rumbled to his self.

  “Was the dick worth an ass whooping?” he went on to say.

  When I didn’t answer, he pulled me up by my hair and began smacking me as if he was my pimp. With each slap, my cheeks burned.

  “You think I’m dumb enough to leave town without having eyes on you. You got me fucked up if you think you and Alex about to be on some happily ever type shit,” he said, causing my heart to sink. Alex was a good person with a bright future, I felt stupid dragging his ass in my drama.

  “Yeah, you thought I ain’t know about you and that football player? Well let’s see if his ass can go pro with a bullet lodged in his legs. Mmhm, that’s what I’ma do. Instead of killing his ass, I’ma make sure that motherfucker never walks a day in his life!” John yelled before sending one more vicious blow to my face that knocked me out cold.

  ****

  (Two month later)

  I sat in my closet, writing in my diary. Since John took away my phone and was basically holding me hostage in this house, I had no one to talk to. I was able to exchange a few words with Johan when she came to bring me my school assignments. When she told me John came to the school and picked a fight with Alex, my heart shattered. A smiled appeared on my face when I remembered the video she showed me of Alex beating John’s ass.

  Although Johan and John were blood relatives, she was more like a sister to me. She knew I was feeling Alex, even though I never gave her any details of what happened between us. One day she came by and handed me a letter from Alex. The words on the pretty pink stationary paper touched my soul. I would find myself sneaking to read the letter every second of the day, just to feel like it was him next to me, whispering those sweet words in my ear.

  Once I was done writing down my feelings on paper, and reading Alex’s letter, I locked everything up in my keepsake box and placed it in an Aldo’s shoe box, placing it in the far corner of my closet. Just as I was walking out of the closet, John was walking in the room.

  “What the fuck were you doing in there?” he asked me.

  “Rearranging my clothes,” I lied.

  “Oh well, get dressed, your aunt wants me to bring you to some dumb ass barbeque. She kept blowing up my phone and shit, demanding to talk to you. I told her dumb ass we went on a cruise to the Bahamas, so stick to the fucking story.”

  “Ok,” I replied, feeling excited to finally be able to get out the house.

  I walked in the bathroom and quickly took a shower. Since my bruises were already healed, there was no reason for me to put on makeup, so I opted for some mascara, eye shadow, and lip glass. My hair had grown to my shoulder blade, due to me using a homemade hair mayonnaise, making it easier for me to manage. Splitting my hair down the middle, I used my wand to create big bouncy curls. Once I was done, I got dressed in a tan strapless knee length baby doll dress with a pair of brown thigh high gladiator sandals. I grabbed my brown Tory Burch, big face Coach frames and was ready to go.

  “Here,” John said, handing me a brand new iPhone 6s Plus in rose gold.

  “Thank you,” I replied, slipping the phone in my bag.

  He then grabbed me by my neck and pushed me up against the wall.<
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  “I swear if you think about trying me, I will end your life,” he spat with a gun placed against my dome. Never in my years on earth have I ever been so scared. The fact that his eyes told me he would kill me, made my legs give up from underneath me. This was the last straw; I had to get out of this situation before I ended up like my mother, or even worse, dead.

  The grip he had behind my neck was starting to burn. I knew there would be a bruise there by how tight he was holding me. When he felt like I got the point, he let me go, pushing me to the ground. I quickly jumped up as if the floor was on fire and stood to my feet. I waited for him to walk out of the room before straightening up my dress and fixing my hair. When I made it downstairs, he was already driving off, so I grabbed the keys to my car and left.

  It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and the party at my aunt’s house was in full effect. Everyone was in my aunt’s backyard, having the time of their life. The old school jams were playing, my uncle Jordan was on the grill, and the old ladies were standing off to the side, gossiping about the teenage girls and the outfits they chose to wear.

  “There goes my baby,” my uncle Jordan said, giving me a hug.

  “Hey Uncle Jordan, how are you?” I asked.

  “I’m good, how are you?” he asked, looking me over.

  “I’m living,” I replied.

  “I see. That boyfriend of yours just told your auntie you guys were just coming home from a cruise.”

  “Yes, we had fun,” I shrugged.

  “It’s ok to have fun, but don’t forget to focus on your studies.”

  “I won’t,” I replied.

  “Good, now go talk to your auntie, she’s been worried to death about you,” he said.

  “Later Unc,” I replied, walking towards the house.

  Before I could walk inside, I ran into Carol and Roger. Growing up, I was always close to them because they were really good friends of my mother’s and because she mothered my big sister. My sister was currently in Africa, shooting a documentary on human trafficking, which was probably why she wasn’t here. We would talk on and off, but because her schedule was so hectic when it came to filming, we didn’t really hang out like sisters should.

  “Look at you pretty lady,” Carol smiled.

  “Hey Ms. Carol, how are you?”

  “I’m good baby, how are you?”

  “I’m doing very well. School is taking up the majority of my time, but other than that, I couldn’t have been better,” I replied.

  “I am so proud of you baby. When you were little, you told me you were going to be the first person to come up with a cure for AIDS. That day I looked at you and knew you were going to grow up and be something special.”

  “Thank you,” I smiled at her.

  After chopping it up with her and Roger for a few minutes, discussing politics and the presidential campaign, I went inside in search of my aunt. I didn’t see her anywhere, so I headed upstairs to her master bedroom. When I walked inside, I saw my mother sitting in a chair, while my aunt Shanice curled her long mane. They were both laughing and reminiscing about old times, oblivious to me standing there watching them.

  My mother looked better than I last remembered her. She looked as if she gained all the weight she lost back, and her skin was no longer pale and chapped. She was glowing as if she was sun kissed from Mr. Sun himself. I sat back and admired her beauty, not understanding how someone so beautiful could go through something so ugly. She must have felt my presence in the room because she turned around and our eyes locked.

  “I will give you two a moment,” my aunt said, putting the finishing touches on my mother’s hair. When she was done, she unplugged the curling irons and walked out of the room.

  “Wow, look at you,” my mother said, standing to her feet.

  She was even more beautiful as we stood face to face with one another. I looked back at myself in the mirror, then at her, and realized that we could pass as twins. I didn’t have anything to say to her, so I just stood there, looking at her. As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn’t help but admire her for getting clean.

  “I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be. I wasn’t in your life when you needed me the most, and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I can sit here and tell you I’m sorry until I take my last breath, but that’s not going to make the pain go away. We have a lot of issues to work through and I’m here now. I got that nasty monkey off my back and I’m ready to be a mother to you,” she said.

  “It’s too late! I’m eighteen, I’m a grown woman now!” I yelled, fighting back the tears.

  “How could you leave me like that?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry baby, your mama wasn’t right. I had so many emotions built up inside of me that I was using the crack pipe to escape it all,” she replied, walking towards me. She tried to reach in for a hug, but a wave of nausea came over me, causing me to run towards the bathroom. I lifted the toilet and threw up everything that was in my stomach. My mother came over to me and held my hair, while rubbing my back.

  My skin shivered when I felt her hand press against the side of my neck. Her fingers traced what I was sure was the bruise John left there. I should have covered it with makeup, I thought to myself.

  “What happened here?” my mother asked.

  “Nothing,” I replied, getting up and rinsing my mouth. I could feel her eyes staring at me as I did my best to avoid looking at her.

  “Is that boy hitting you?” she asked.

  “It’s none of your business!” I yelled.

  “You are my child and everything that concerns you is my business!” she yelled back at me. “Is that son of a bitch putting his hands on you?” she asked again.

  When I didn’t respond, she took a seat on the toilet and began telling me the story between her and my dad. I would get the watered down version when I was younger, but this time, she told me everything, sparing no details. When she was done revealing to me everything that transpired after meeting my father, I was in tears. I knew the abuse my mother suffered was bad, but some of the incidents she spoke of caused my heart to break. Now I understood why she turned to the drugs; it was an outlet for her. It made her feel good and forget about the pain, like Alex did for me.

  “I missed my period,” I cried, thinking back to the last time I saw aunt flow.

  “Shhh baby, it’s going to be ok, but I refuse to let you go back there. My mother didn’t give a fuck when I was getting my ass kicked; she actually encouraged me to stay, telling me it would all get better. I’m different tho, I’ll be damned if this motherfucker thinks it’s ok for him to beat on my only child,” she rambled on.

  “Mama, I have to do this on my own,” I replied.

  “No, you don’t, you have me now. I am going to help you get through this. The first thing we’re going to do is get you a pregnancy test, then when we get the results, we’ll figure out the rest.”

  Chapter 30

  Aimee

  Looking down at the positive sign on my daughter’s pregnancy test, broke my heart. I failed my only child as a parent and I felt like shit. God placed this little girl in my life to look after and protect, but I fucked all that up. I looked over at Aimesha and she just had this blank expression on her face, a look I knew all too well. Back when Lucas was beating my ass, I use to wear the same blank expression, wishing I was anywhere else.

  I held Aimesha in my arms as she cried and came clean to me about her abuse. My heart broke as I realized that this was becoming a domino effect. My mother got abused by my father, I got abused by Aimesha’s father, and now Aimesha was getting abused by her unborn child’s father. I had to put an end to this cycle for the sake of my grandbaby. Aimesha had cried herself to sleep, so I laid her down on my king sized bed and covered her body with my blanket. As I looked around my room, I admired how Shanice out did herself. I was forever grateful for my girls for coming in and rocking with me when I needed them the most.

 
; The day I almost lost my life, I became a lost soul. I would always dream of leaving Lucas, but I didn’t imagine that he would kill himself. For so long, I carried the guilt of his death on my shoulders, forcing me into a depression. When the Percocet wasn’t strong enough to ease my pain, I fell right into the arms of the crack pipe. As crazy as it may sound, I was grateful for my neighbors calling the cops on me. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have been blessed with a second chance of life. With the support I received from the other ladies in rehab, along with the counselors, I learned to let go of all my past demons. Lucas’ death wasn’t my fault and I no longer had to carry that burden around.

  “How is she?” Shanice opened the door for her.

  I didn’t really tell her why Aimesha and I left the barbeque until she started blowing up my phone, demanding answers.

  “She’s doing ok, she’s pregnant for the bastard,” I sighed.

  “Oh my God. I can’t believe I didn’t see the signs. I’m always bad with seeing the fucking signs,” Shanice said, beating herself up.

  “It’s ok Shanice, it’s not your fault. Abused women learn how to hide their abuse very well,” I replied, remembering the days I would use my MAC to hide my black eyes.

  “What are we going to do?” she asked me.

  “I don’t know, but I know one thing for sure, she will not be leaving this house and going home to that animal,” I huffed.

  “I agree with you on that,” she replied.

  “Again Shanice, I want to thank you for everything,” I said, grabbing a bottle of water for both of us.

  “No problem boo, this is the least I can do. Oh, and before I forget, here,” he said, handing me an envelope.

  “What is this?” I asked, opening the envelope. “Oh my God!” My eyes bulged out when I looked at the amount of money that was in the account with my name on it.

  “That’s your money I kept to the side for you. In there is also paper work since you are part owner of Brotherly Incorporated. Since it was Lucas’ business and you were married, it was only right to give you a part of it,” she said.