Have Me: A mafia romance (Collateral Book 3)

by LP Lovell

  She looks good, her tight curves are covered in black jeans and a white tank top that exposes the tops of her breasts. A gun holster is strapped to her chest, and a knife sits clasped to her lean thigh. She still looks like the innocent girl I once found, with her halo of golden hair falling down her back and those doll-like blue eyes. Only now she has this edge to her. Una has rubbed off on her. I should have expected it, and yet I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. It’s as though something has been taken from her, something she never should have had to sacrifice. When I sent her away it was under this foolish premise that she would be protected and safe, not that she would turn into the very assassins I sent her to.

  “I didn’t expect to see you here,” I say.

  She laughs and flicks her hair over her shoulder. “That’s funny because you and Carlos didn’t give me much choice.”

  “I didn’t expect you back in Mexico.”

  She stops and turns her gaze on me. Those sapphire blue eyes are colder, harder than they were before. She reminds me of her sister, and I hate it. “I didn’t come here for you.”

  “This isn’t your fight, Anna.”

  Her head tilts to the side, and it’s almost predatory. “My fight is my own. Like I said, I didn’t come here for you.”

  Moving around the desk, I shift closer to her. “You can’t be here.”

  A small smile touches her lips. “You sent me away, Rafael. You no longer get a say in where I should or shouldn’t be.”

  “I sent you away to keep you safe.”

  “That wasn’t your call to make!” she snaps, all pretense slipping for a moment. She clenches her fist and closes her eyes, inhaling a deep breath.

  “It was absolutely my call to make!” I pause and her jaw ticks erratically. "Maria should have been untouchable. She was family.”

  “You lost Maria, so I had to lose you? Was that it?" she whispers. And there it is, just a glimpse of the girl I know.

  “I won’t put you at risk.”

  Her eyes flash open, all trace of vulnerability washing away in the blink of an eye. “Fuck you, Rafe! You did it because you were scared!”

  “Of course I was fucking scared! They left her head in a box!” Her chest rises and falls on ragged breaths. “And now, you come back, at the worst possible time.”

  She snorts. “Funnily enough, I don’t work to your schedule."

  My eyes flick over her body, and everything in me stirs at the sight of her. She’s engrained in every facet of me like a brand. “This isn’t you.”

  She leans in close, so close that I could almost kiss her. Those blue eyes drop to my mouth, and my breath seizes in my lungs, my blood heating in an instant. “This is what I became without you,” she says.

  “You’re not a killer, Anna. You’re not your sister.”

  “I am now.”

  “This is just the lie you tell yourself to survive.”

  “You were the lie, Rafael. We were the lie. Ride or die?” She laughs, shaking her head.

  “I could never watch you die.” I reach out and sweep my fingertips over the soft skin of her cheek. “I love you.”

  She squeezes her eyes shut and swallows hard. She tries to hide it, but I know Anna, I see her. This is far harder than she’d like to pretend it is. When she opens her eyes, there’s nothing but hurt and anger. “No, you don’t. I thought I loved you because you saved me. You thought you loved me because I was innocent and broken…”

  “Stop.”

  “It was all a lie.”

  “Stop!”

  “I see that now.”

  I slam my hand over her mouth. Only my ragged breaths interrupt the silence, the thrumming of my pulse in my ears. I’m terrified right now because I know I’m on the cusp of losing her. I can feel it. Our eyes lock, and a thousand unspoken words pass between us. Everything we’ve been through together, the precious moments and the ugly horrors; it all lingers in that small space between our bodies. I thought nothing could break this, break us. Perhaps Nicholai Ivanov, or Dominges couldn’t, but I could. Maybe I did. “I’m sorry,” I breathe.

  Her fingers wrap around my wrist, and I allow her to pull my hand from her mouth. My heart thumps heavily and time seems to stand still as her lips part, and she sucks a sharp breath into her lungs, getting ready to deliver her next words like a wielded knife.

  “Don’t be,” she says. “You did me a favor.”

  It’s like the falling of the executioner’s axe, and it hurts. Loving her has always been painful, but this is torture.

  We stare at each other for a long moment. There’s not a hint of a chink in that armor she’s wrapped around herself. I don’t have time to win her over right now. I’ve spent the last few months being a man she wouldn’t even recognize, and now is not the time to be the man she once loved.

  Stepping away from her, I take my seat behind my desk again. “You will stay here.”

  She cocks a brow. “No, I won’t.”

  “It wasn’t a request.” She clenches her jaw and her hand slides to the knife at her thigh. I smirk. “You didn’t think you could just walk into my city and run riot?”

  She steps forward until her thighs bump the edge of my desk, and she leans over it, bracing her hands on the wood. My eyes drop to her chest before meeting her gaze again. “Funny, from where I’m standing, it looks an awful lot like I took out your enemies.”

  I push to my feet, bracing my palms against the desk and matching her position. “This is my city. My war. My fight. If you were anyone else…”

  A small smile touches her lips, and then I feel the cool brush of metal at my throat, the sharp sting of her blade. “My fight with the Sinaloa is my own,” she hisses. “So I am walking out of here.”

  I can’t help the smile that pulls at my lips. “Ah, little warrior, you forget who I am.” My hand slams around her throat, and I have her on her back on the desk in a heartbeat. She sucks deep breaths into her lungs, keeping the blade to my throat. When I look into her eyes, I expect to see a trace of fear, but it’s absent. Truthfully, I could never hurt her, and I think she knows it. “You are welcome to stay, or leave and go back to New York.” Everything in me is screaming at me not to let her go. Watching her walk away once was hard, a second time might kill me. She’s my reason, my sense of calm in the most destructive of storms. Without her, I’m chaotic, without a center.

  Her breasts strain against the material of her shirt with every breath and with each passing second I become more aware of her. The air crackles between us and the heat from her body leaches into me, driving out this cold that seems to have lingered since she left. The steel of her blade bites into my skin and warm blood wells, trickling down my throat. The hardness in her eyes wavers for just a second, and she swallows heavily. I should have more control around her, but I can’t help myself.

  Leaning in, I allow my lips to brush hers in a feather-light kiss. Her breath hitches, the blade wavering against my throat. She leans into me, just a fraction, a tiny movement, but it’s all I need. I slam my mouth over hers, forcing my tongue past her lips. She stills for a second, the knife dragging dangerously over my skin, but I don’t care. Maybe I’m willing to die for a taste of her. One last time. She bites me hard enough to draw blood, and I pull back. She takes the opportunity to shove me away from her before rolling off the desk and landing in a crouch. Blood wells in my mouth and I spit it on the floor as I glance at her. Her eyes are wild, her lips marked with a red tinge.

  “I will make you bleed if I have to, Rafael. Do not get in my way.” On a smirk, I swipe my hand over my mouth, wiping away blood. I can feel the steady trickle still gliding over my neck from her knife.

  “Then you leave me no choice, avecita.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Carlos!”

  The door opens and Carlos steps inside. “Escort Anna to a room, she’s going to be our guest for a little while.”

  Carlos takes Anna’s arm, but she yanks it away from him. He stills suddenly, and it’s th
en that I see Una behind him, a gun rammed into the back of his skull. “Tsk, tsk, I thought you were smarter than this, Rafael. My sister and I are leaving.”

  “You are free to leave. Anna is not.”

  Una throws her head back on a laugh. “Careful, Mexican. You cannot afford another war. I thought Nero called ahead.”

  “He did, and he warned me not to detain you. You are free to leave, as long as you do not involve yourself in my business.”

  Una hisses out a breath, shoving the gun harder into Carlos’ head. “I am fast losing patience with your little cartel. Anna, come.”

  Anna steps toward her sister, and I shift closer to the door. “You’re outnumbered, Una,” I warn. She is not taking Anna. Truthfully, if she’s going to insist on being in Mexico, then I have no choice but to guard her because out there, she’s nothing but a weakness for my enemies to exploit. She may be tougher and stronger than before, but she is not Una. She’s not invincible by any means.

  “Am I? We can put that to the test if you like?” Una tilts her head to the side, twisting her gun with the motion. “Personally, I’d have thought you would be more concerned with keeping your men alive. Dominges seems to have left you short.” I clench my teeth.

  Anna swings her gaze to me. “Attack Una and Nero will kill you,” she says, a trace of panic in her voice. “Please just let me go.”

  “No.”

  Una smirks. “One.”

  Anna’s gaze darts frantically from me to her sister. “Rafael…” she says quietly.

  “Two.”

  Anna and I stare at each other. I can predict her next move. She isn’t going to let her sister shoot Carlos. I know her. At least I hope I still do.

  “Three.”

  “Stop!” Anna steps in front of her sister, pushing the gun away from Carlos’ head. “Stop,” she says more quietly. Una stares at her sister and the tension in the room ratchets. I can see her thinking through her next plan, and that’s always worrying, given who and what Una is. The ringing of a phone cuts the silence in the room. Una reaches into her back pocket and takes out her phone, placing it to her ear.

  “Capo, I’m a little busy…” She listens, her expression growing icier with each passing second. “I won’t," she finally says. There’s another pause before she growls. “Fuck your politics.” She finally hangs up and cracks her neck to the side, looking at me. “You aren’t going to let my sister go.”

  “I can’t.”

  Her lips twitch. “So be it.” She raises her gun only slightly and pulls the trigger. There’s a bang, and Carlos drops to the floor. My heart leaps into my throat, and I palm my gun, ready to take her out.

  “Stop it!” Anna shouts. I tear my gaze from Carlos’ downed form to Una, but it’s no longer Una standing in my line of sight, it’s Anna. She runs the few short steps between us and launches herself at me, knocking me flat on my back.

  “Anna,” I snap, scrambling to get out from underneath her.

  Pushing to her feet, she stands over me, holding her hand out. “Una, no. Just…go.”

  “I’m not leaving you here.”

  “They won’t hurt me. Just go. I’ll talk to Rafe, and I’ll call you.” I stand up, and Una’s gaze swings to me, a venomous glare on her face.”

  “You have twenty-four hours to return my sister. After that, I come back, and I won’t be alone.” She lets the warning hang between us before she hands Anna the gun in her hand. “Shoot straight, little sister.” And then she turns and walks out of the room.

  Anna rushes to Carlos who is groaning and bleeding all over the floor. He’s been shot in the thigh. She yanks her shirt over her head and ties it above the bullet wound. “You just had to push her,” she growls, yanking the material tight. Breath hisses through Carlos' teeth as he tries to prop himself up against the wall.

  “Fuck, that hurt.”

  “You’re lucky it wasn’t your head,” she snaps, standing up.

  I call some of my men in to take Carlos to the doctor. They carry him from the room and then it’s just her and me again.

  My eyes flick over her bra and the flat planes of her stomach. “Go back to New York, Anna. You agree to walk away, and I’ll let you go right now.” I’m practically begging her.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why? Why would you want to put yourself in this kind of danger?”

  “We live dangerous lives, Rafael.”

  I shake my head. “Not you. You were supposed to be safe.”

  She glances at the bloodstain on the floor. “What did you think would happen? I’d go to New York and live a normal life?”

  “I thought you’d be safe and happy."

  She snorts. “Did you hope I’d meet a nice guy and settle down? Forget all about you the way you forgot about me?”

  A low growl slips past my lips and a surge of anger tears over my skin hot and fast. I step closer to her, and she moves back until the wall bumps her back. “Let’s get one thing clear, avecita. You are mine. And you will always be mine. No amount of time or distance can change that.”

  “No. That changed the moment you chose your war over me.”

  I slam my palm against the wall by her head, and she flinches slightly. “There was no choice!”

  “You’re wrong,” she whispers. “You chose to give up on me when I wouldn’t give up on you.”

  “I haven’t given up.”

  She lifts her hand, pressing her fingers to my lips. “Well, I had to.” She ducks under my arm and walks out without a backward glance.

  I thought I was fighting for something important, but as I watch her walk away, I realize that I may have already lost the most important thing.

  12

  Rafael

  I leave the office and go to the purpose-built medical bay in the corner of the warehouse. Tugging open the metal gate that divides the area, I step inside. Pools of blood sit on the concrete that’s already stained by so many dying and injured men. With such a high rate of casualties, we’ve had to set the doctor up here with his own ER. No one can leave this location, so all the staff are forced to stay. I won’t risk anyone leaving and either talking to the enemy or leading them back here accidentally. The doctor wasn’t thrilled about it, but he has no choice.

  Carlos lays on the metal gurney that looks more like a morticians table than anything else. His eyes are unfocused as the doc wraps a bandage around his thigh. Lucas sits in the corner with an IV attached to his arm, his blood slowly filling a bag hanging on a pole.

  “How is he?” I ask.

  The doc looks up. “He’s lost blood, but he’ll be fine with a transfusion.”

  I glance at Lucas. “Thanks.”

  “Of course.” The kid rests his head back against the wall, and he looks tired. “Is Anna staying?”

  “For now.” I turn and walk out. There’s nothing more I can do for Carlos right now. I’m only grateful that he was shot here rather than out in Juarez. He may not have made it otherwise. I clench my fist as I think of Una. I don’t like the woman. I never have. It’s hard to respect someone who kills so unscrupulously. At least I kill for a cause: to protect my people or my business. She takes out people she doesn’t even know, for reasons she doesn’t care to ask about, all for money. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, even when I know I probably have no place judging anyone else when it comes to a body count.

  I head off to check how the next shipment is going. As I get closer to the production line, there’s a fine fog of powder in the air. Only a few feet away are the guys in masks, washing the raw coke in ether. The smell of the chemicals makes my eyes water, but it’s a smell I’ve come to like because its the smell of victory.

  The girls packing the coke eye me nervously as I pass them by. My phone rings, and I take it out of my pocket seeing Nero’s name flashing on the screen.

  I answer and press it to my ear. “Nero.”

  He sighs. “Do you have any idea what it’s like trying to leash a woman like that?”


  I almost laugh. “I’m sorry, my friend.”

  “You’ve got balls to stand in front of her and tell her you’re holding her sister.”

  “Well, thanks for the help with that.”

  “I’ve placated her for twenty-four hours. After that…”

  “I know."

  He groans. “I warn you, Rafael, I cannot control her. There’s very little she won’t do for Anna.”

  I swipe a hand over my jaw in aggravation. “I gave them the chance. They wouldn’t go back to New York.”

  “You do know this could be advantageous to you. You have one of the worlds best killers willing to take out the core of your enemy.”

  I inhale a deep breath. “If it were just Una, I’d welcome it, but I can’t have Anna out there.”

  “She’s not the same girl who left Mexico, Rafael,” he says quietly. “She’s trained. Una takes her on jobs. She killed Alexandru Dalca.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose, and my stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought of Anna becoming anything other than what I know and love; damaged yet innocent. Fragile and yet unyieldingly strong. I hate the idea of her losing the goodness that’s so inherent in her.

  “She’s my weakness, and they know it. If Dominges finds her. Here. In Mexico…Would you want Una running around, unchecked, with your enemies so close?”

  There’s a pause. “No.”

  “Exactly. And Anna may be trained, but she’s no Una. If she won’t leave Mexico, then she doesn’t leave my protection.”

  He sighs again. “Fuck. I understand, but Una won’t. You have to talk to Anna. Get her to stay willingly. It’s the only way.”

  “Thanks for your help.”

  “I’d say it’s a pleasure, but I really don’t need this shit. I just got out of a war myself.”

  “Women.”

  “Don’t I know it.” The line goes dead, and I slide the phone back into my pocket. I can’t imagine what that poor bastard has to go through with a woman like Una. And he has a child with her. I shake my head at that thought. It’s enough to send a man over the edge.