Desire

by R. G. Winter

  “Can you get away for lunch today?” Rebecca asked, her head peeking over the top of Jane’s cube. It was early morning, the sunlight just starting to filter through the windows of the office. Rebecca looked well-rested, hell, she looked great. Even had enough time to do her eye makeup.

  Jane was only a little envious of that.

  “Maybe, I have to make some calls, and there are a few models i need to be finish. But I should be able to. Did you want to go somewhere specific?” Jane asked, warily.

  “I got a tip that Boca has great lunchtime happy hour specials.” Rebecca said lightly. “Charlie, Ms. Everson, I mean, suggested it.” She giggled a laugh that Jane knew well.

  “Oh, you get the nurturing mentor. You’d do well with Belmore: He’s just as cutthroat as you are.”

  “I like my group, thank you very much.”

  “Yeah, it looks like you’re sleeping way more than I am.”

  “Charlie keeps me busy, and she’s a great person to learn from. I’m going to sit in on a meeting today. Actually for lunch, we are scoping out the place, she wants to take a client there. So, you have to come, it’s on Charlie.” Her eyes widened in silent plea. The look so unusual on Rebecca’s face that Jane had to agree.

  “Okay, now go so I can finish all of this.”

  “Don’t work too hard,” Rebecca said, “Where’s your other half?”

  “Never call him that again,” Jane huffed, “He’s probably in Mr. Schwick’s office. They usually chat in the morning.” She rolled her eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t stay lodged in the back of her skull. “I wish I was that lucky.”

  A comforting hand settled on Jane’s shoulder, and she looked up to see Rebecca grinning down at her. “If he isn’t pulling his weight, you make sure Belmore can see that. You outshine McKinnon, then you won’t have to deal with him again. It’s a win-win.”

  “I know.” Jane said, “It’s just he already has so much attention from the partners. Their basically grooming him for it as we speak. And I’m here, working my ass off, for what.”

  “Because you want this, Jane,” Came Rebecca’s gentle reminder. “You want this more than anything. And you’re going to get it, right? You’re going to be a senior analyst in three years. Then you’re going to be partner.” The resolution in those words made Jane breathe out a heavy sigh.

  “You’re right. It’s only been a month. I knew it was bound to get tough, but I honestly wasn’t expecting this much so soon.”

  “Deal with it.” And those three little words coming out of Rebecca’s mouth were nearly enough to make Jane want to shout. Seeing her face crumple, Rebecca added, “It’s work. You’re tired, you’re hungry. But you bills are paid and you’ve got cash to spare. Hard work will pay off.” The other woman smiled brightly, “Besides, have you looked at yourself the last few weeks? Your body is looking bangin’. All those desk lunches and pilates are really paying off, huh?”

  Jane smiled ruefully, “Well, my pilates instructor is an evil bitch.”

  “If you’re trying to insult me, it ain’t working. Bitch is a compliment in this world.” She turned with a wink, sauntering off to her cube, “Means you’re doing your job right.”

  An hour passed in relative silence. McKinnon hadn’t shown his face yet, and Belmore was scheduled to be in meetings until well after the lunch hour. Though the meetings didn’t stop him, Jane noted, from sending countless emails to her phone. That little detail brought the smallest of smiles to her face. It had been weeks before Belmore had trusted her enough to send directions in email form, rather than in person. It was a small honor that gave Jane the notion that she was doing something right.

  The past few weeks had been a blurry mess, but Jane thought that she’d been good at putting in her time. She’d even made a point of being civil with McKinnon, who was too busy schmoozing up to all the partners to even notice that she was trying. It would have been much easier to ignore him if everyone on the floor didn’t find him so damn likeable. Every morning, when she came in, Jane would witness a battle royal between the receptionist and interns to see who would get to bring him a coffee. He was always getting asked out to lunch (Which he somehow found the time to go to). It was aggravating to see him doing nothing but socialize, and then reap all the benefits of someone that was working hard.

  "Coffee, Parkett?" A voice asked from behind her. Jane spun, a frown pulling at her lips as she took in the sight of McKinnon leaning against the divider to her cube, eyes friendly.

  "Thank you," she said slowly, reaching for the coffee with only a hint of suspicion. A thankful rush went through her as Jane sipped slowly at the warm liquid. It was a little more bitter than she usually took it, but the caffeine perked Jane up too much to care.

  "No problem," McKinnon moved into her cube without an invitation. Suddenly the space was small, warm. Stifling hot against the steam of the coffee. It wasn't him, Jane told herself. Not his perfectly suited body, or the rippling muscles she could see against the fabric.

  Jane reminded herself to breathe as she prayed silently, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt. When she finally composed herself enough to speak, Jane worked to push the appropriate amount of venom into her voice. “Damn, I should have checked for poison first.” She said, throwing a wary look at the still warm cup. “I know how much you hate competition.”

  McKinnon’s smile strunk at that. It made a hot rush of glee run through Jane’s body to see. “I just figured you could use a pick me up: You could carry groceries in those bags under your eyes.”

  “There’s the charm I’ve come to know so well,” Jane said, turning her attention away from the man to focus back on her work. “What do you want, McKinnon?”

  “I was really just being nice and bringing you a cup of coffee.” He said. There was an odd tone to his voice. It was lower, more rushed and agitated. Jane paused mid-sip, eyes widening. Was he offended?

  “And I appreciate it,” She gave him a small smile over her shoulder, “No, really, I needed it. Thanks.”

  McKinnon smiled. “You’re welcome. If you’re not too busy, we should grab lunch sometime.”

  Jane’s fingers floated above the keys. She turned around in her chair, enough to look him up and down suspiciously. He still stood there, hands in his pocket, a small smile on his lips. Jane didn’t know what his game was, but he had to be up to something. When his face didn’t falter, she shrugged.

  “Maybe. I’m really busy right now though, actually working. Could you come back later?”

  McKinnon sighed. “I was just trying to be nice. We don’t really communicate much.”

  She somehow doubted that. Her eyes followed him until he disappeared from sight, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. Turning back to her computer, she tapped her fingers on the desk. What if he really was just trying to be nice? Jane gave a derisive chuckle, shaking her head. There was plenty of time to deal with McKinnon later.

  Once he was gone, she pushed the man out of her mind. The glowing of her computer screen was beckoning her back to work. Jane embedded herself back into her work until the numbers that she input began to blur together. The steady clacking of the keys began a sort of rhythm that threatened to lull her to sleep. Rubbing her eyes, Jane pushed her chair away from the desk. It was time for more coffee.

  She gathered the metallic blue coffee mug from her desk before she headed to the break room. There were a few people inside who Jane nodded to. Mckinnon was of course leaned back in one of the black chairs, one leg crossed over the other. He didn’t acknowledge her as he spoke to one of the senior analyst, but she could feel his piercing eyes on her as she poured herself another hot cup of coffee. She capped her cup before turning to leave. As she glanced over at Mckinnon, he winked at her.

  Jane hurried out of the break room. What was he trying to accomplish? Did he really think he could get under her skin? A scoff escaped her lips as she headed back to her cubicle. The mantra that she didn’t have time for Mckinnon kept looping
around in her head as she pulled her chair back up to her computer. He was a confusing man.

  The day seemed to trickle by, but the work didn’t slow. Jane found herself flexing her fingers as she stared at the screen. The little clock in the corner said that it was time for lunch. As if it had heard her, her stomach growled loudly. She groaned. Rebecca popped her head into Jane’s cubicle.

  “Let’s go, woman. Lunch.”

  Jane pointed to the screen. “I’m not sure I can go…”

  “Get up. Now. Don’t make me have to drag you out,” she said as she popped her hands onto her hips.

  “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

  “Not a chance in hell/”

  Jane couldn’t contain the smirk on her lips. She gathered up her purse before she logged off of her computer. Rebecca was waiting patiently, a grin on her face as they walked out of the office towards the elevators. When they emerged on the first floor, Charlie stood waiting for them.

  Charlie was an impeccably dressed woman in a cream dress and heels. Her dark brown hair held streaks of gray that she wore well, the loose curls flowing over her shoulders. She had kind, brown eyes. Jane could see the faint lines around her eyes and mouth, but they just enhanced her looks. As they walked closer to her, the woman smiled at them.

  “You must be Ms. Parkett.”

  “Jane,” she said as she shook the older woman’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you, for the lunch.”

  “Well, Rebecca told me how brilliant you are and I can’t resist taking the strong women of this office out for a meal and a drink. Let the men have their little secret clubs. We’ll do it better and with martini’s,” she said with a wink.

  Jane couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across her lips. She liked the woman already, wished that she’d gotten her as a mentor. The sound of their clicking heels filled the lobby as they left the building. The brilliant afternoon sun made Jane squint. Was that what sun looked like? It felt like it had been so long since she felt the sun on her skin, fresh air in her lungs. They made their way to Charlie’s car. Jane whistled at the sleek, silver mercedes that sat in the parking garage.

  “A beauty, isn’t she? I admit, I have a weakness for nice cars,” Charlie said with a chuckle.

  Jane thought of her small, red Taurus sitting a few floors above. How long until she could afford a car like this? She slipped into the back seat, the leather sliding against her legs as she closed the door behind her. Rebecca and Charlie chatted about her project in the front seat, the woman’s words kind and encouraging. She could tell they’d already formed a close bond, but it was impossible not to between the two women.

  Although it was Jane’s first time meeting Charlie, she’d heard of her. Despite her warm eyes and endearing smile, the woman was known as a shark. She had become a senior analyst in half the time it took any of her colleagues, from there she’d been unstoppable.Jane had heard tales of the woman cutting a person down to size with a few quick words. She wasn’t too keen on testing that theory out for herself.

  It wasn't any wonder that she and Rebecca had hit it off: The pair of them were both cut from the same cloth. Where hard work was tandem with ferocity to succeed that no one else could topple. They didn't have confidence, they exuded it.

  They pulled up in front of a small, dark bricked building with the word Boca printed in vibrant orange. As they walked into the restaurant, it was a mix up of corporate suits and vacationers. The atmosphere was casual, which Jane was instantly thankful for. Jane slipped her purse onto the seat beside her as they settled at a little table by a window.

  Charlie glanced around. “Not a bad place. What do you think, Rebecca?”

  The woman nodded. “I think it’s a good location. Relaxed enough to put the clients at ease and look at these drink specials.”

  Charlie and Jane laughed. Rebecca seemed to have a one track mind, but Jane couldn’t- blame her. After her weeks of hard work, she was in desperate need of something to make her relax. They all placed their orders, huge Southwest salads which Jane heaped with dressing making Rebecca shake her head at her.

  “I’ll make it up in class,” Jane promised with a smirk.

  “Oh, you bet your ass you are.”

  Charlie laughed as she ordered all of them martinis. The conversation quickly turned to the office as Charlie shared stories that Jane had never heard before. The woman had a story for everything, each one ending more hilarious than the last. For the first time in weeks, Jane felt herself relaxing, the pressure melting away if only just for a moment.

  “Jane,” Charlie called after she’d speared a piece of lettuce, “how are you liking things? I heard you got Belmore. How’s he treating you?”

  Jane gave a tight smile. “Belmore’s tough, I’ll give him that. I love this work though, it’s why I’ve fought so hard to be here.”

  Chalier examined her as she sipped at her martini. “Good. Belmore’s a bit of an old jerk, but he’s very good at what he does. I suspect with him, you’ll grow in more ways than one.”

  As they went back to their conversation, Jane couldn’t help but to think about Mckinnon and his words in the conference room. Maybe a hard ass like Belmore was exactly what she needed. The man was fearless. While Jane’s doubts surfaced once in awhile to eat at her, she could see that he didn’t let the opinion of anyone but himself phase him. She had to admit, she liked that quality in people.

  Charlie turned the expensive looking watch on her wrist towards her. She sighed. “”Looks like lunch is over ladies. Let’s get going.”

  They gathered up their bags. Jane had enjoyed her time with them so much, she almost regretted having to go back right away. When they pulled up in front of the building, Charlie promised them that they would do it again. Jane shook her hand as they exited the elevators, the woman’s hand firm around hers.

  “Keep going Jane. I can see the tired look in your eyes, but keep going. It will only get better.”

  Jane could have hugged her for those kind words. Instead, she nodded, shook her hand again and headed back to her cubicle. When she settled behind her computer, there was a smile on face. The lunch had given her more comfort and confidence then she’d thought possible. Once she logged back on, Jane banged away on the keys furiously. The numbers had taken on a new look for her, one that ran through her brain continuously. Success, success, success.

  There was a knock on the wall of her cubicle. Jane had been so into her work that she jumped. Franklin stood there, a smile on his face. She couldn’t help the scowl that slipped onto her face. She didn’t have time for him.

  “Parkett, I came by to take you out for lunch. Where’d you disappear to?” He asked as he leaned in closer to her.

  Jane leaned away from him. “I had lunch with Rebecca and Ms. Everson,” she said as she turned back to her computer.

  “Everson? Really? Well, look who’s skipping the “hard work” she preaches so much about and goes straight to the schmooze.”

  Jane rolled her eyes. “I’m not doing anything that you haven’t been doing since the beginning,” she snapped.

  Mckinnon turned her chair around, making her glare. “Admit it, you love the feeling of rubbing elbows with the elite. Admit it and I’ll leave you alone.”

  “You’ll leave me alone or I’ll shove my foot up your-”

  “Go away, Mckinnon,” Rebecca said as she glared over the cubicle. “I’m trying to work. If I hear your mouth one more time, you’re not going to like the results.”

  Rebecca’s glare was enough to even make Jane shiver. The man let go of her seat, held his hands up in the air. When he walked away, Rebecca beamed at her. Jane had to work hard to control her laughter. The contrast of strict and sweet Rebecca was almost too much to handle. She soon settled back into her work, her only goal to finish her project ahead of schedule.Rebecca had been right. She wanted this.

  "You have to put him in his place, Jane," Rebecca commented as McKinnon slunk away. “He wants to get
inside your head. Throw you off your game. He won’t hesitate to end your career before it even starts.”

  “I know that, but…”

  “There’s no but. Either get it together or let him win.”

  Rebeca disappeared back behind her cubicle leaving Jane to groan. As strong as she was, Jane’s primary focus had always been on her work. She could dish it out, but she wasn’t focused on the office politics. In her opinion, the harder you worked, the more you accomplished. It wasn’t like that here. The people were cut throat, back stabbing when they needed to be. One less person to compete with was a good thing.

  Jane sighed, she wasn’t that kind of person. She didn’t see the need for a bloodbath when her work was good enough to speak for her. Even with the boys club that reigned supreme at the office, she had to admit that if they hadn’t wanted her, then she wouldn’t be sitting there.

  McKinnon, as annoying and repulsive as he was, had a valid reason for being there too. She didn’t want either of them to have to leave, not if it meant doing things the dirty way. Jane wondered if she was letting her conscience get the best of her.

  When the day was over, she began to pack up her things to head home. There was still more work to be done, as much as she wanted to sit in front of the tv and doze off with a beer in her hand, that wasn’t a possibility. Rebecca leaned into her cubicle.

  “Some of us are heading to the bar tonight. Think you can make time to go?”

  Jane considered it. “If I do, I don’t think I’ll be getting any sleep tonight.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “Who needs sleep? You need a drink before you explode and decorate this office, the bad way.”