Farewell Apathy

by Jenn Hype

  All my speech does is poke the bear, and when he lets out a low growl I get that same confused feeling. I want to smack him for being such a controlling prick, then press my body against his and feel his mouth on mine. By the way his pupils dilate I assume he’s having the same conflicted emotions, but my eye catches on the bag he’s holding.

  “Why the hell are you holding my overnight bag?”

  “I packed you some stuff while I was over there so you’d have some of your things at my place. It’s not much, most of your things were destroyed, but at least this way you don’t have to make trips back and forth.”

  “Oooohhhh, Wyatt’s goin’ all alpha male on your ass,” Keegan teases in a sassy voice.

  “I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less from you after what happened tonight at the bar, huh?”

  “What? What happened!?” Keegan yells from the couch, but we both ignore her.

  “We haven’t even sorted out all that crap yet, but you’ve already made the decision to move me into your apartment without my say-so? You are seriously pushing it.” I cross my arms and plop back down on the couch, making it clear that I don’t plan to go anywhere.

  Wyatt drops the bag from his shoulder and marches over to me. I stiffen my spine and brace myself for an angry speech, but he surprises me by dropping to his knees in front of me and uncrossing my arms, taking both my hands in his.

  “I’m not trying to control you. I’m very sorry for what happened earlier at the bar. I promise we will talk about that, but I need you to not be stubborn right now. Your safety is non-negotiable and right now it’s not safe for you to be in your apartment. So while you may not like it, you’re coming to stay with me until we figure out who did this. I’ll ask you nicely if it will make you feel better, but just so you know, it won’t make a difference if you don’t agree. If I have to throw you over my shoulder and handcuff you to my bed to get you to listen to me, then that’s what I’ll do.”

  Between the softness in his eyes and the sincerity in his voice, I completely melt during the first half of his little speech. Once he mentions handcuffing me to his bed, I’m no longer melting but rather feeling like I might burst into flames. Keegan is waving her hand back and forth and fanning her face while having a field day with the idea of Wyatt cuffing me.

  “And before you suggest staying with Keegan, I can already tell you that idea is out. I’m not endangering anyone else, and I can protect you best if you’re close to me. You and I can work out the details of being in such close quarters since I know you’ve been wanting space, but that’s the only part I’m willing to negotiate on.”

  I rub my temples and try to process what he’s saying to me, but it’s so late and I’m so exhausted that I figure I can argue in the morning. Right now all I want to do is sleep.

  “Fine,” I agree reluctantly. Wyatt’s triumphant grin makes me want to keep arguing just to spite him, but I don’t have the energy for it. “We’ll fight about this tomorrow. Right now I just want to go to bed.” A wickedness flares in Wyatt’s eyes and I quickly correct myself. “To sleep! Nothing else, perv.”

  Wyatt grins and helps me up from the couch. I zombie walk to the door and Wyatt wraps my arm around his shoulder and pulls me tightly against his side after he picks my overnight bag up off the floor. Once I feel the heat from his body and his calming scent surround me, walking becomes damn near impossible.

  I don’t even protest when Wyatt scoops me up and walks briskly up the stairs two at a time. I’m already half asleep when I feel him lay me down on a bed. When my face sinks into a pillow I breathe in deeply and without opening my eyes I know he’s placed me in his own bed. I’m not even sure if he has a guest bed, and part of my brain tells me to make sure he knows he can’t sleep in here with me, but the sleepy part of my brain tells the other part of my brain to shut the hell up.

  Sleepy brain, for the win.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Mark, what the hell are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

  I’ve never seen Mark look so...menacing.

  “Is this because I’ve been avoiding you since we slept together? Look, I know that was super shitty of me, but I was in a bad place that night. I’m sorry if you took that to mean I wanted more or something. I should have-”

  “Shut up!” He yells right as the back of his hand connects with my cheek. “Just...stop...talking.”

  My hands are covering my face, so he can’t see the rage boiling inside of me, but he’s an idiot if he thinks I’m going to just let him hit me. I had enough shitty foster parents who thought raising their hands to me and Shaun was a way of showing power over us. They only ever got one hit in. After that, I made sure they never hit us again.

  I stay crouched, pretending to be in pain while listening to Mark’s hurried footsteps pacing back and forth across my hardwood floors.

  “Shit, I’m sorry Brailey. I shouldn’t have done that. I just...I have a temper. It’s the main reason I stay away from people. Sometimes I can’t control it. And when you say things that I know you don’t mean, like that night not meaning anything, then I can’t hold it back any more.”

  I swear, it’s always the damn quiet ones that are truly batshit. They bottle up all their crazy so much that they just fly right past that grey area and straight into crazy town at the drop of a hat.

  “Brailey,” he says softly, and when his hand touches my shoulder, I make my move. Covering my eyes with one hand, I reach under my arm to spray his face with the pepper spray. My eyes immediately start burning, but it’s nothing compared to the agonizing pain he’s suffering from right now. He’s screaming in a frequency that probably has every dog in a two-mile radius freaking out.

  “You bitch!” He sticks his head under the faucet of my kitchen sink, and I take advantage of his distraction and kick him in the nuts from behind. “Fuck!” He swings wildly, getting lucky and landing a punch to my gut, hard enough to knock me back but not knock the wind out of me. “You don’t know who you’re messing with. The minute you started looking into Mayra you got put on her radar, and now? After this? You’re dead. The only reason you’re standing here is because of me, but you just royally fucked yourself.”

  His threat catches me off guard, giving him the opportunity to lunge for me. The bastard misses, because he’s blind from the spray, but I trip over my couch and fall backwards, slamming my head into the corner of my wooden coffee table.

  Agonizing pain shoots through my skull, and I know it’s bad. I know in that split second before my world goes dark, that if I make it through this, I’m going to kill fucking Mark.

  ~

  “Brailey!”

  My name is being yelled over and over while I shake violently. My throat feels like someone has taken razor blades to it and I hear someone screaming so loudly you would think they were being murdered. Something wet hits my hand and the screaming stops.

  “Brailey!”

  My eyes pop open, but all I see is blackness. After giving my vision a few seconds to adjust to the dark, I make out the features of Wyatt’s face inches away from mine. He presses his forehead to mine and wraps his arms around me tightly, his breathing labored and his shoulders heaving.

  “Oh, God, Brailey. Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?” As my consciousness returns, the details of last night come back to me. “You scared the hell out of me. I’ve never heard someone scream like that.”

  I’m not okay. I’m not at all okay. What the hell was that dream? What the hell is even real anymore?

  “I’m okay,” I lie, my voice hoarse from screaming. “I’m sorry I woke you.” I choke on my words, ending up in a coughing fit.

  “Let me get you some water,” Wyatt says, moving to stand from the bed.

  “No! Don’t leave,” I yell out, yanking on his hand and pulling him back down to sit next to me on the edge of the bed. “Please, will you...will you just stay with me the rest of the night?” I’m not sure what the repercussions of asking Wyatt to slee
p in bed with me will end up having, but even despite his mood swings and bossy tendencies, the fact is I truly trust him.

  Actually, I more than trust him. As I watch indecision splay across his face, knowing his uncertainty is because he’s worried about how this will affect me, forces me to realize I might actually be falling for him.

  “Please,” I beg, sounding entirely too pathetic but not caring in the slightest. I need him. I need his arms around me, holding me closely. I need it more than I need to breathe.

  When Wyatt nods his head I scoot over, giving him room to climb in. I hadn’t noticed before that he’s only wearing a pair of tight fitting boxers, and even in the pitch black I can make out the hard lines of his torso. At this point I’m not sure if I’m trembling from the lingering adrenaline pumping through me from my nightmare, or from the temptation I feel from being this close to Wyatt.

  I watch as he slides under the covers and I give him a small smile when he looks at me uncomfortably, clearly not sure what he’s supposed to do now that he’s in the bed. Moving to lay down, I put my back to him, trying to hide the ill-timed smile splitting my face. I don’t think there will ever be a time where I don’t find the shy and unsure side of Wyatt freaking adorable.

  He’s doing his best to keep a safe distance between us, but that’s just not going to work for me, so I reach behind me and grab his arm, draping it over my waist. That nightmare shook me up, I need comfort, and I’m not afraid to ask for it. Right now is not the time to try and play coy. Being held by Wyatt like this gives me an overwhelming sense of safety, a feeling I only ever seem to experience when he is near.

  After several very long minutes, I feel his body finally start to relax behind me. His arm is limp, laying exactly where I left it. He’s being cautious not to touch me, and as thankful as I am for his gentlemanly behavior, right now I just need to feel him on me, against me, as close to me as possible. Wyatt seems to let go of his hesitancy entirely when I put my hand over his and twine our fingers together, pulling our clasped hands tightly against my chest.

  This is the truly the closest we’ve been since meeting, and even though it is seriously horrible timing, I can’t help but be turned on. No woman in her right mind could be laying in Wyatt’s bed, pulled up close against his body, able to feel the evidence of his own arousal against her ass and not be on the verge of jumping his bones.

  Wyatt seems content to just pretend that erection of his isn’t nestled up nicely between my ass cheeks. He’s crazy if he thinks I can fall asleep with that monster pressed up against me. Don’t ask me what has come over me, because there is no possible way for me to excuse what I do next.

  Slowly, and in an incredibly unsubtle way, I arch my back, press my ass further into Wyatt, and rub myself against him. His whole body goes almost as rigid as his dick, but the jerk just sucks in a huge breath and releases it slowly, his body relaxing again as if that little wiggle never happened.

  How is that even possible? Not only is he back to pretending there are only two very thin layers of clothing preventing that monster from attacking, but when he exhaled, the heat from his breath sent shivers down my spine. And it has to be intentional that all of a sudden his mouth is right behind my ear, his face practically nestled into my hair, his lips close enough for my skin to imagine phantom kisses all over my neck.

  Yeah, when Wyatt’s lower lip trails up the side of my neck, leaving a hot, wet trail in its wake, I know for sure he’s torturing me intentionally. My breath catches on an inhale when I feel his teeth grazing the outer shell of my ear.

  Before I can take my next breath, Wyatt’s hand gently untangles from mine, first squeezing my breast lightly before rubbing one finger lightly over my nipple, making it bead to the point of pain. Fire shoots straight from his hand down to my core, taking my lust to unimaginable heights. I don’t know if he’s still just testing the waters or has turned this into some kind of game, but my patience has run out.

  Swinging around and forcing Wyatt on to his back, I make it abundantly clear that the games are over. Climbing on top of him, my head dips, my mouth desperate to taste his. His head lifts to meet me halfway, but before our mouths meet, he flips us back over, once again stealing the upper hand right out from under me. Literally.

  I don’t need the control; he can freaking have it. When his mouth slants over mine and his hand slips underneath my shirt, slowly and torturously trailing his fingertips up my stomach and over my naked breast, the sensation spreads all over my body like wildfire. All my synapses start firing at once, eliciting a loud and wanton moan to slip from my mouth, and he devours it hungrily.

  His tongue effortlessly explores mine, his rhythm never faltering, even when my body jerks violently as his fingers pinch down roughly on my tender nipple. His bare chest rubs over my swollen breasts as he continues his ministrations, driving me past the point of need and all the way into the realm of necessity. I let out an obnoxious whimper when he pulls back, but before I can protest he’s ripping my tank top over my head, exposing my overheated skin to the cool air.

  He takes only a second to appreciate the view before dipping his head down and pulling my nipple into his mouth. My body bucks off the bed when he bites down hard before flicking it with his tongue, soothing the pain. He cups my other breast with his hand and flicks my nipple, giving it equal attention with his fingers while he lavishes the other with his mouth.

  He pushes his lower body against me, and his erection hits me in just the right spot, sending ripples of pleasure into parts of me that I didn’t even know existed.

  “Now, I need you now.” I can’t get his boxers off fast enough. I’m tugging and yanking and trying to rip them off in the least sexy way possible, but desperate doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now.

  “Brailey,” Wyatt says in a tone that I do not like. Sounds too much like hesitation and second guessing, and that kind of attitude has no place in this room right now.

  “Now, Wyatt,” I growl. This isn’t up for discussion. My body needs his, and there is no way in hell he is going to put a stop to this.

  After hesitating for one more second, I watch the reluctance drain from his eyes and the lust take over. Soft eyes turn dark, not even blinking as he yanks off my small sleep shorts in one swift motion. When he starts kissing a trail down my neck, I know where he’s going, but there’s no time for that. The time for foreplay has come and gone, too far behind us to even be seen in the rearview.

  “Now.” This time it comes out as more of a plea and less of a demand, and Wyatt must sense the need behind that one word, because he moves right back up over my body, entering me in one swift motion.

  “So fucking tight,” Wyatt grunts out.

  I’d love to respond. Doesn’t even have to be words; just a moan or a grunt, but I can’t. He’s filling me up so completely, taking over parts of me that I didn’t even know existed.

  “Look at me, Brailey.” I didn’t even realize I had my eyes squeezed shut tightly until his hoarse voice startled them open. Our eyes stay locked, my fingers clutching to his shoulders as he rocks in and out of me.

  My lips are tingling, hungry for another kiss, but everything is too intense. I can’t look away. I can’t move, or speak. I can barely breathe. When he shifts his position, just slightly lifting my bottom, he aligns our bodies at just the right angle. He feels it too; I can tell by the way he squeezes his eyes shut and grunts. Everything about this moment feels right.

  The pressure building up in my core, making every muscle in my body contract, every inch of me on edge, just waiting for the impending explosion. Wyatt whispers my name again when I let my eyes drift closed, and right as I reopen them it hits me.

  I can feel his hot release inside me as we both hit our climax, and it’s the first time I even give any thought to a condom. I’m not on birth control, but there’s no room in my brain to worry about that. The only thing I can focus on is the feeling of Wyatt clutching my body to his, our sweaty bod
ies tangled together, not even caring about the mess we’re making on the sheets.

  We lay there, panting and struggling to catch our breath, Wyatt’s lips firmly planted on the top of my head. Everything about him, his body language and actions, pulls harder at my heart. I’m about five seconds away from becoming that girl that blurts out feelings that are way too soon and totally awkward when said right after sex.

  “I um...you should...I just…” Wyatt pulls back enough to look down at me, and I panic. He looks so happy and sated. I can’t ruin this moment with crazy-girl talk. I need to steer my thoughts elsewhere, so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

  “That was my first orgasm!” I shout a little too loudly. Wyatt’s eyes widen in shock and his jaw drops open.

  “Say what?”

  “I just mean...since losing my memory. I have no memory of having one before, so that was kinda like my first time.” The smile he’s fighting tells me I’m right, but he’s going to make me say the damn words again, I can tell.

  “You haven’t given yourself one?” He asks incredulously.

  The intimacy of what just happened between us gives me a clarity, a truth I’ve been fighting since meeting Wyatt. My desire to be close to him is only going to get stronger, and it’s not because I’m falling for him that I feel he needs to know the truth...it’s that I’m pretty sure I already fell.

  “Oh, I’ve been tempted. This super-hot guy moved into the building and he would get me all hot and bothered then leave me high and dry all the time, but I was holding out for the real thing.” Wyatt looks so damn proud of himself I can’t help but laugh.

  “Listen,” I say seriously, shifting gears in a way that’s probably going to leave him with blue balls. “I know I told you that I lost my memory. What I haven’t told you is that it’s been coming back to me for a while now.” Wyatt sits up, his back ramrod straight and his eyes completely cleared of the foggy lust that was in them moments ago.