Google Your Husband Back

by Julie Butterfield

  Google Your Husband Back

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Google Your Husband Back

  By

  Julie Butterfield

  Text Copyright © 2016 Julie Butterfield

  All rights reserved

  Chapter 1

  When Kate’s husband announced that he was leaving her, she was only mildly surprised. He broke the news as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen and Kate was preoccupied with the large smudge of porridge she’d just noticed on her shoulder and the butter that was dribbling down her fingers. She’d just remembered that she was starting her new diet today, one that would shift the baby pouch still sitting on her midriff – and butter on her toast had not been part of the plan. In fact, there should be no toast at all, buttered or otherwise; she was meant to start the day with half a grapefruit and some hot water with a slice of lemon. She looked at the toast, already half eaten and decided it was a shame to waste the rest. The diet could wait until tomorrow. As for the porridge, well the jumper could join the rest of Kate’s crusty tops in the washing machine. Porridge smeared shoulders seemed to be par for the course with a baby in the house.

  ‘Did you hear me Kate?’ asked Alex impatiently.

  ‘Yes, I heard. I thought it was next week.’

  She wiped the runny butter from her fingers before deftly catching Millie’s cup as it flew towards the floor.

  ‘Next week?’

  ‘Yes, next week.’

  She was confident that it was next week Alex was going away. She remembered because a few weeks before he’d been very grumpy, claiming she didn’t pay enough attention when he was talking about work and they’d had a brief but intense argument about just how much interest she should pay when he came home at the end of the day. Kate was of the opinion that having spent her day with a grouchy nine-month old baby, washing, cleaning, singing, playing with squeaky toys, washing some more and cleaning again - she deserved more than a re-run of Alex’s day. But she had accepted the rebuke, smiled apologetically at her husband and resolved to pay more attention in future. She had even taken to writing down snippets of information so she could have a quick read before he came home and remember to ask him how his meeting had gone or what his boss thought of his latest report.

  So Kate was very confident that it was next week that Alex was going to spend four days in the North of England, looking at demographics showing why the population all seemed much happier living in the South of England.

  Alex was staring at her and with a sigh Kate finished the toast, put the feeder cup back on Millie’s highchair and grabbed her cup of tea.

  ‘You said that you were going to Northumberland next week …Tuesday morning, meetings until Thursday evening, round up Friday morning, lunch, arrival home Friday evening,’ she repeated parrot fashion.

  Alex carried on staring.

  ‘You said,’ repeated Kate a little impatiently, ‘that you would definitely be back on the Friday evening but you would be away on the Saturday morning for…’ she paused. Actually she had stopped listening at that point and wasn’t sure what Saturday had in store for her overworked husband. ‘Er, for something else. Anyway, it was Tuesday coming home Friday. I listened,’ she finished triumphantly.

  There was a moment of silence. Millie was tipping her cup so that contents sprayed onto her hand and Kate was sipping her tea, watching Alex who stood in the doorway staring at Kate.

  ‘Kate I – I - that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m leaving. I mean I’m actually leaving. You. I’m leaving you. Today, now. I’m… well I’m leaving.’

  Kate stared at him.

  ‘What?’

  He ran a hand through his hair, the floppy fringe that neither Kate nor gel had ever managed to control and she suddenly noticed how tired he looked. How absolutely drained of colour he was. She noticed how the groove between his eyebrows seemed to have deepened overnight. And she noticed the two large suitcases that stood by his feet. They were the suitcases they used when going on holiday, not the small one Alex always used when he had to spend a few days away with work.

  ‘What do you mean? Leaving to go where? Northumberland is next week. You said Northumberland was next week, I was listening!’

  There was a bang as Millie threw the cup back onto the floor but Kate didn’t turn round.

  ‘What are you talking about Alex? Where are you going?’

  ‘I’m sorry Kate, I’m so sorry. I have tried to tell you, to explain. I’m sorry…’ he shrugged, trailing into silence.

  Kate frowned, fairly certain she would have remembered a conversation that involved her husband telling her he was leaving. She waited but it seemed Alex had run out of words. With a loud sigh he shrugged his shoulders again, a helpless look crossing his face. Refusing to meet her eyes he turned, grabbed the handles of the cases and with a few steps he was across the hallway and out of the front door.

  Kate stood perfectly still, staring at the empty space he had filled seconds before. Millie grunted indignantly as no one retrieved her cup, gave Kate a moment then yelled a little louder to get her mother’s attention.

  ‘Sorry Millie darling.’

  Blindly Kate reached out and stroked her daughter’s silken head.

  ‘Daddy’s being silly sweetie. He said he’s leaving!’

  She looked down into Millie’s big blue eyes staring back, listening to her mother’s words, waiting for her cup.

  ‘He wouldn’t leave us Millie,’ Kate laughed. ‘He would never leave you. That’s just silly isn’t it?’

  She picked up the cup, kissed Millie’s head and stood staring at the sink. She wasn’t sure how it managed to get so full each morning. She washed, dried and put everything away each night so she could start with a clean kitchen the next day. But by the time Alex left for work it invariably looked as though they’d had a party with the detritus spread across every surface.

  Why on earth would Alex say such a thing? It wasn’t at all funny.

  Kate was ever so slightly smug in the knowledge that they had a perfect marriage. They had fallen head over heels in love eight years before and nothing had changed since. They had been taken somewhat by surprise the previous year to find that a new member of the family was expected but Alex adored his daughter, even if he did complain that for a tiny being she took a huge amount of time, space and attention. But he wouldn’t leave her. He wouldn’t leave Kate because they still loved each other.

  So why Alex would come out with such a strange statement on a normal Monday morning was beyond Kate and shaking her head she rolled up her sleeves and set to work on the mountain of things in the sink. He must have been teasing decided Kate, although she found it very unamusing and it was an elaborate tease to actually bring two suitcases downstairs.

  And why did he say he’d tried to explain things? What things? Alex wasn’t unhappy. Neither of them were. They were both tired, most definitely tired. Life was always hard
with the arrival of a new baby but they were still very much in love and eventually things would get easier, they both knew that. When Kate had left work to have Millie they’d both decided that she would not return until their daughter was at school. They wanted Millie to have a stay at home parent and Kate wanted to be that person. It had resulted in a strain on their budget that took some juggling, leaving Alex working harder than ever. There were days when in a fog of exhaustion and mind numbing baby orientated activity, Kate wondered if perhaps they would all be better off if Millie spent a couple of days a week at nursery and Kate found a part time job somewhere. Anywhere really – as long as she was with adults who didn’t have an overwhelming need to turn everything into a song. But they had decided it was best if Kate stayed at home so they stuck with the plan.

  Alex had occasionally complained about spending every evening in the house, listening to the sound of Millie’s soft breaths through the baby monitor. Why couldn’t they have the occasional evening out he had mumbled? But Kate had thought about the effort of washing her hair, finding clothes that weren’t covered in dried porridge or sticky fingerprints, the effort of finding a baby sitter and decided that a night cuddling in front of the TV was just as acceptable.

  But they were still happy. Very happy.

  Millie was grizzling. She had abandoned the cup and was rubbing her eyes with tiny fists as she whimpered. Scooping her out of the highchair, Kate headed upstairs where she ran a bath full of sweet smelling baby bubbles, washed Millie until she gleamed, fluffed up the blonde baby curls and dressed her in a clean, fresh vest, pink woolly tights and soft pink dress

  She breathed in the delicious aroma of clean baby.

  ‘Why would he say such a hurtful thing Millie? Why on earth would he say he was leaving?’

  Millie shook her head fractiously and Kate held her close, feeling the warm little body relax and go loose. She laid her down in her cot, watching for a moment as Millie struggled to keep her eyes open briefly before giving in to the demands of sleep, her eyelashes resting like smudges on her cheeks.

  Wandering back into her bedroom, Kate stood in the doorway staring at the wardrobes against the far wall. She really couldn’t understand why Alex would say such a thing. Perhaps he was actually going somewhere with work this week and he was angry because she hadn’t remembered. She did try to listen but when he came home tired, a little grumpy and wanting to tell her the minutiae of his day, she did sometimes find it hard to be enthusiastic. What Kate really wanted was for Alex to come bursting into the kitchen with a huge smile at the sight of his wife and child and a kiss on the lips for Kate. Then he would take over the making of the evening meal and leave Kate to get Millie bathed and in bed using both hands and her full attention. Or perhaps he would scoop Millie into his arms and insist on carrying out her nightly ritual so Kate could pour a glass of wine and relish the idea of cooking a meal without having a tired baby stuck to her hip. What actually happened was that Alex would throw his briefcase into the corner of the room and follow Kate round the kitchen telling her about his day and chatting as she prepared their meal and Millie grizzled in her arms. Then he would sit and catch up with the news while Kate bathed Millie and by the time their daughter was in bed and Kate and Alex sat at the table to eat, she was often too exhausted to bother with any further conversation. Alex had suggested that Kate should put Millie to bed a little earlier but Kate had been outraged at the idea he was happy not to see his daughter each evening. Most fathers, she told him firmly, would welcome the chance to spend an hour at the end of the day with their new child. So Kate continued to keep Millie up until Alex came home, acknowledging that exhaustion was an inevitable side effect of a baby in the home and she tried to smile and listen to Alex’s tales of office life and murmur the right things in the right places to show that she supported him.

  Kate thought hard about the last few days. Could Alex have said that the meeting had been moved and she hadn’t paid attention? Or maybe he was just trying to catch her out. Alex did that sometimes if he didn’t think Kate was listening, properly listening. He would throw some outrageous comment into the conversation and see if she picked up on it, sending an accusing ‘I knew you weren’t listening’ in her direction. Like the day he told her that Athens had frozen over and everyone had been evacuated and Kate had replied ‘I see’.

  Maybe she’d not been listening and he was teaching her a lesson. Of course he hadn’t actually left, that was a ridiculous thought.

  But she carried on staring at the wardrobes. One door was slightly ajar, Alex’s door. Kate nibbled at her nails and walked over to stand a little closer. She couldn’t really see much, just a dark space and taking another step forward she stretched out a hand, pausing slightly before letting her fingers curl around the handle and then slowly, carefully, pulling open the door.

  It was empty. Kate felt her breath catch. She felt the air leave her body in a sudden whooshing movement that left her dizzy and breathless. She stared in the empty wardrobe and felt her heart hammering inside her chest so loudly that it hurt her ribs.

  She stepped back, still staring at the wide open doors and the empty space. She tried to breathe but oxygen didn’t seem to be reaching her lungs and she gulped for air. Shaking her head, she looked around. The book Alex was reading was no longer on his bedside cabinet. The bits and pieces that he always left on the dressing table were gone. She walked into the bathroom. His toothbrush was missing, his shaving foam and the old fashioned shaving brush she had bought him for his birthday – gone. She threw open the bathroom cabinet. The second shelf down was empty. His indigestion tablets, his migraine tablets, his aftershave, the nose hair trimmer she had slipped in his stocking the previous year and he had laughed at but secretly used – gone.

  She walked into the spare room on unsteady legs and checked the wardrobe where he kept his older clothes, some of his suits, his jackets. Gone.

  There was nowhere else to look. All traces of Alex had disappeared and Kate was left with only one conclusion. That when her husband had announced that morning he was leaving her, maybe he was telling the truth.

  Chapter 2

  When Millie woke up an hour later, Kate was still shaking. It took several attempts to get the little wriggling figure inside her quilted coat, the mittens over her baby fingers and a snug hat covering her blonde curls. Kate strapped her into the buggy, wrapping a blanket around her legs and went out of the front door turning in the direction of the shops. Her mind whirling with possibilities she walked along the pavement, listening to Millie’s gurgles and trying to control her breathing. It was a misunderstanding she told herself, it was a joke, it was something to do with work, it was something she had forgotten because it was simply not possible that Alex had actually left.

  Consulting the list that was in her pocket she went into the corner shop for beans, rusks and half a dozen eggs; to the bakery for a loaf of bread and the thick bread cakes that Alex liked and then into the butchers where she joined a queue that was so long the door couldn’t close and the smell of freshly baked pies was drifting out onto the street.

  Lost in a world of uneven, disjointed thoughts, Kate only realised that it was her turn to be served when the elderly lady behind gave her a little nudge of her elbow.

  ‘Oh sorry,’ she said, moving closer to the counter. She stared blindly at its contents. She had thought about making lasagna for tea. Alex loved lasagna and Kate would spend time making the béchamel sauce, flavoured to perfection and exactly the right thickness because she loved the look of happiness on Alex’s face when she placed his plate in front of him. There again he loved pork chops served with good old fashioned mash, peas and carrots with homemade onion gravy.

  ‘What can I get you darlin’?’ asked the butcher, a touch impatiently.

  Kate looked up from the selection spread out before her.

  ‘I don’t really know,’ she half whispered.

  There was a slight movement in the queue behind her, a general
shrug of impatience that made its way in a wave down the waiting people to rest on Kate’s shoulders.

  ‘You don’t know? Well if you don’t know I’m sure I don’t.’ The butcher tried to laugh, his shoulders tensing slightly under his white jacket.

  ‘How about some sausages? Steak? Pork chops?’

  Kate stood quite still, staring at him as he made his suggestions.

  ‘What do you fancy?’ he asked desperately, ‘what does your old man like for his tea?’

  ‘Pork chops,’ said Kate shakily, ‘he likes pork chops.’

  ‘Now we’re getting somewhere!’ announced the butcher triumphantly to the queue as the woman behind Kate sighed loudly.

  ‘Pork chops it is then! How many darlin’?’

  Kate shook her head. She could feel the tears begin to gather behind her eyes. Her hands had started to shake again and she bit her lip to stem the sobs that she could feel rising from deep within her chest.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said shakily. ‘I really don’t know. I’m not sure if he’s coming home tonight. You see, he said this morning that he was leaving me. But I didn’t believe him because why would he?’

  She turned to the queue now rigidly still and looking anywhere but at Kate as an enormous sob forced its way out.

  ‘Why would he leave me, why would he leave Millie?’

  At the sound of her name Millie stopped chewing the ear of the cuddly donkey she held and sent an angelic smile in her mother’s direction.

  ‘He said he’s tried to tell me he was going but I don’t think he did. I would remember a conversation like that, wouldn’t I? And anyway, we’re happy, we love each other so why would he want to leave? Maybe he is coming home,’ Kate was doing her best to control the sobs but they had started coming thick and fast, making her shoulders judder as she gripped the buggy, shaking her head in confusion.

  ‘Maybe he’s joking … or punishing me … or …I don’t know. Maybe he’ll be back tonight and what if he comes home and I haven’t got anything for tea? Maybe he’ll just go again,’ and finally she lost the battle bending her head over the buggy and weeping uncontrollably, huge tears splashing down onto Millie’s hat.