Google Your Husband Back

by Julie Butterfield

  ‘No,’ insisted Kate stubbornly. ‘I think I neglected Alex emotionally, I think maybe I didn’t give him enough of my time and he ended up looking elsewhere.’

  ‘And maybe you were the perfect wife and he isn’t having an affair and he’s left because … because of something ese.’

  ‘That’s why I need to find out why he left Fee. Because if he is having an affair, then I’ll be able to deal with it.’

  ‘Deal with it! And how exactly are you going to do that?’

  Kate nibbled her lip. ‘Well,’ she started, turning the laptop back to face her. ‘Google says that I need to make him want to come home. He needs to realise he’s made a mistake but that he can come back.’

  She carried on tapping, ‘I need to remind him of the person he fell in love with.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Well I’m not entirely sure yet. But Google says that I need to accept I played a part in his actions and it wasn’t all his fault,’ she quoted, ignoring Fiona’s snort of derision.

  ‘And I need to …’

  ‘You need to stop reading Google! This isn’t down to you Kate, this is all entirely Alex’s fault.’

  Kate stuck out her chin stubbornly. ‘Apportioning blame isn’t the answer Fee,’ she insisted. ‘I need to forgive Alex and leave the way open for him to come back.’

  ‘Forgive him! You’d forgive him if it turned out he was having an affair?’

  Kate slammed the laptop closed. ‘I want him back Fee! I just want Alex back and if I have to forgive him to make that happen then I will!’

  ‘Oh Kate honey, I’m sorry. Of course you want him home. But you don’t even know he is having an affair yet so let’s not get too carried away. I still can’t believe that he would have left you for someone else and certainly not Sandra Maddison! I think he’s just having a bit of a wobble over something. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong.’

  ‘But it is,’ whispered Kate. ‘I must have done something wrong because why else would he have left us Fee, why would he have walked out of the house and left me and his beautiful daughter?

  Chapter 7

  Kate had asked Fiona if she would look after Millie for a couple of hours and also if Kate could borrow her car.

  ‘Borrow the car?’ Fiona looked puzzled. ‘Well of course you can. Why do you need it, anything I can help with?’

  Kate had shaken her head and said that she just needed to get a few things, sort out a few bits and pieces and when Fiona cheerfully offered to come along and help, Kate had smiled and said it was really kind of Fiona to offer but actually she could do with a little break, without Millie, without anybody.

  Mortified that she hadn’t thought of that earlier Fiona took Millie from Kate’s arms and passed the keys back in return.

  ‘Take your time,’ she urged. ‘Have a little ‘me’ time.’

  So now Kate was in Fiona’s car, driving towards town with her heart beating frantically and her hands trembling slightly on the wheel.

  Part of the cost cutting exercise the previous year had been the disposal of Kate’s beloved little car. She’d had it for years and there was barely an inch that didn’t have a scratch or a dent and its own story to tell. But two cars went way beyond their budget and with local shops within walking range, Kate had offered her little car in sacrifice. It meant that the supermarket was only possible once Alex was home and his car was on the drive and if Kate wanted to go further afield during the day it was a trip on the bus with a baby and a pushchair, something she had only braved a handful of times.

  Driving slowly, being careful not to treat Fiona’s car in the same slightly haphazard way she used to treat her own, Kate hit the outskirts of Leeds at 17:20. The rush hour was already in full flow but the majority of cars were travelling out of town and Kate was hopeful that she’d get a parking place without too much trouble.

  It took a couple of circles around the block but eventually Kate found the perfect spot and parked the car, tucking it behind a large 4X4. It was already dark. The weak sun that had struggled throughout the day had given up and slipped away and the only light came from the street lamps and the office windows that lined the road. Kate sat back and waited. She was early but she hadn’t wanted to risk being unable to park and missing the moment, seeing everybody walk away and not be able to find who she was looking for.

  Thirty minutes later the first straggle of people emerged from the door Kate was watching. One ran down the street and hopped into a car that was waiting, the rest spread out in different directions as they cleared the doorway. A crowd came out together, all shouting goodbye and waving before turning in their own direction. More came out, some alone walking swiftly on their chosen path, others in pairs or groups.

  Kate waited. The straggle became a stream and it was harder now to check everyone that appeared. Some stood in the doorway enjoying a cigarette before heading home, some set off at a sprint while others loitered, chatting to colleagues as they ambled down the street. Very few came to get in any of the cars that were parked near Kate, street parking was too expensive, but many disappeared into the underground parking whose entrance was a little further down the street, behind where Kate was parked.

  Suddenly Kate sat up straight. There was a clutch of people gathered in the doorway and it was hard to isolate them but Kate was sure that the blonde head bobbing around near the steps was the one she had been looking for. Kate leaned around the 4X4 to get a better look, still keeping herself fairly low so as not to be seen and then shrank back into her seat as Sandra Maddison broke free of the group and set off down the street, walking within inches of Kate’s car as she headed towards the underground entrance. Kate’s mouth was so dry she could hardly swallow. Her breathing was fast and shallow as her eyes followed Sandra’s progress from the door of the office to the entrance of the car park.

  She was wearing very high shoes and they clipped their way past Kate’s car like a military tattoo. Her skirt was short, a coat pulled tight at the front hiding its detail. The blonde hair was down, curling onto her shoulders. This time Kate could see her face. She could see red lips, a small nose and outlined eyes. Not exactly pretty, thought Kate in satisfaction and yet there was something about her, something that drew the eye.

  Sandra disappeared into the car park and Kate fastened her seatbelt and started the car. She waited, her eyes peeled on the entrance to the car park. There was a momentary distraction when someone jumped into the car in front of her and pulled away but it made it easier for Kate when a minute later a car pulled out onto the street, a blonde head at the wheel. Kate waited until it passed her, then she pulled smoothly out into the traffic following the blue Peugeot.

  Twenty-five minutes later Kate was drenched in sweat with the effort of keeping the blue car in her sights when finally it pulled into a residential street and parked. Kate followed, pulling into the first parking space she saw and quickly dimming her lights. The blue Peugeot had stopped halfway down the street and Kate watched as Sandra jumped out, locked the door behind her then turned and walked directly towards Kate’s car. Kate panicked. Wildly she looked around for something to disguise herself with, sliding down in her seat and bracing herself for the knock on the window. But still several feet away Sandra turned left and walked towards the large glass door of a small block of flats leaving Kate weak kneed with relief. She watched as Sandra let herself into the well-lit entrance and walked towards the staircase before disappearing from sight. Breathing deeply, trying to restore her heart beat to its normal rhythm, Kate sat up again, wiping the sweat from her forehead as she peered up at the building. If Sandra was heading towards the back then Kate wouldn’t be able to see her. But if she was at the front of the three story block then Kate might be able to see where she went. She watched, her eyes flitting along the front of the building, moving rapidly from one floor to another, shooting along its length. Suddenly she saw it, a light had flickered in one of the rooms on the second floor. Holding her breath Kate leaned forward, stra
ining to see over the tops of the cars parked along the street. But then another light came on in the same window, bright and clear and there was Sandra Maddison, outlined clearly as she gazed briefly down onto the street below before turning away and disappearing into the shadows at the back of the room.

  Kate had thought long and hard about the reason why Alex had left her. She still found it almost physically impossible to think of Alex with another woman, the pain left her gasping for breath and she had doubled over holding her heart like an aching limb. But an exhaustive search of Google had made her realise that there were actually few reasons why husbands suddenly left wives. And after she had discounted volatile relationships, drug dependency and gender confusion – none of which described Kate and Alex’s perfect marriage, she was left with the unpalatable truth that Alex was almost certainly having an affair. It had hurt Kate to the core to even contemplate that Alex would turn to someone else and she had spent a restless night trying to justify his actions.

  Perhaps Alex had suddenly become quite weary of working hard and not going out. Maybe Kate had been correct and he was feeling emotionally neglected and more than a little left out since Millie’s arrival. And maybe when Sandra Maddison with her too short dress and her desperate ways had trailed her fingers down his arm at the Christmas Party, Alex feeling momentarily weak willed and miserable, had allowed himself to feel that tingle of attraction. And maybe, just maybe, when the music was blaring and everyone was occupied on the dance floor they had slipped outside to refresh their lungs with cold night air and she had moved in closer, pretending to shiver and he had put his arm around her. Perhaps at that moment she had tilted her face up to meet his so that all he had to do was move an inch, just a minuscule little inch, and their lips were touching. And then of course, in the thrill of a new romance, when all it took was for someone to walk into a room to set your heart beating quicker, maybe she had suggested that he could move in with her so he could forget about Kate and Millie, forget about a life that was all work and no play. He could be with Sandra instead and she would have convinced him that they could have fun, just like Alex and Kate used to have fun. They could laugh and dance and kiss and talk, just like Alex and Kate once did. And Sandra could have trailed her long red tipped nails along his arm and whispered in his ear that he should leave Kate straight away, while he still remembered what fun was like and move in with her. And Alex – well of course Alex would agree because she would be there, in his face, laughing, seductive, pouting, trailing those fingers and Alex was tired and sad and miserable and feeling neglected so of course he would give in, what man wouldn’t?

  The thoughts had kept Kate awake most off the night. She had laid in bed staring into the dark and she could see Sandra Maddison leaning towards Kate’s husband, leaning into him, whispering words Kate couldn’t hear, drawing him away from Kate’s side as she whispered and giggled and held his attention so that he forgot to look back and see his wife standing there, waiting for him.

  But despite the pain, this situation was one Kate was certain she could overcome because it meant she was right when she’d suggested that Alex may have been feeling neglected. Her husband had fallen victim to the charms of someone who was promising him something more, something better. But Kate could whisper and giggle just as well as Sandra Maddison. She had once been fun, she had enjoyed dancing and laughing and had looked round eagerly when Alex came home each evening and fallen into his arms with a sigh. Kate may spend most of her time plumping cushions and ironing these days but she could be everything that Sandra Maddison was. Especially if it meant getting Alex back where he belonged with his wife and daughter.

  Kate waited for over an hour and cold and cramped, she was just pondering the stupidity of her actions when another car turned into the street. This one didn’t shoot past Kate like the rest had, in a hurry to reach its destination. This one slowed down, crawling along looking for somewhere to park. Kate held her breath as it drew alongside, and this car made the last hour worthwhile because this car was Alex’s shining, silver car and the person in the driving seat was none other than her errant husband. Sliding down into her seat Kate watched as he parked a little further down the street. Like Sandra he turned and walked in the direction of Kate’s car. She held her breath. It was dark but his outline was clear as he walked briskly along the pavement and Kate didn’t need to see his face to know every detail there; to imagine the fringe flopping on his forehead, the eyes slightly screwed with concentration, the lips set firm and a little stern which was his natural look – until of course he smiled and then Kate’s heart would skip a beat as the lips curved upwards and his eyes would send a warm glow along her spine.

  He was almost at the doorway to the flats and was it Kate’s imagination, she wondered, or was there a definite spring in his step. He took a key out of his pocket and Kate wondered if he could hear her moan of despair from inside the car. A key! He already had his own key. Pushing the door open, he turned in the direction of the steps and Kate’s eyes immediately flew to the window she knew hid Sandra Maddison. Kate had known someone was expected. Sandra had left her curtains open and had looked out to check the street every ten minutes since she’d arrived home. Kate knew that she was waiting for someone and her heart knew that it must be Alex. But she had still wondered, hoped. Until now, until Alex had turned up with his own key. Kate’s eyes were glued to the window and she saw Sandra check the street once more, only to turn quickly around. And then they were together. Alex had arrived even as Sandra had been gazing out of the window, searching for his shadow on the street below. He had let himself in as she stood there looking to see if he was perhaps driving down the street and Kate watched and wept as he moved towards Sandra and the two stood in the window, arms around each other as they kissed.

  Chapter 8

  When Kate returned the car to Fiona, her pale face and ravaged eyes told Fiona immediately that something had occurred.

  ‘Kate, come in. Why don’t you stay for tea? Millie is hard and fast asleep upstairs.’

  Kate stood uncertainly on the doorstep, part of her just wanted to go home and curl up in her own bed. Part of her needed to share her discovery.

  ‘He’s living with Sandra Maddison.’

  Kate was still on the doorstep, still standing in the cold night air as she delivered the information and Fiona’s eyes widened with shock, her mouth falling open in surprise.

  ‘Kate please come in. Come in, stay with us, eat something. Stuart will take you and Millie home later.’

  Kate remained on the doorstep, her teeth chattering.

  ‘I followed her, Sandra Maddison. I followed her home and waited and then Alex came and he had a key …’ Kate’s voice cracked. ‘He had a key Fiona. And she was waiting for him and he was there and …’

  Stuart appeared in the hallway, surprisingly light on his feet despite his size. He exchanged a look with Fiona then reached out and took hold of Kate’s elbow, gently but firmly drawing her into the hallway.

  ‘You’ll have to come in Kate love,’ he said, ‘it’s bloody freezing out there.’

  Kate allowed herself to be pushed in the direction of the living room, Fiona taking over at her side as Stuart disappeared into the kitchen.

  ‘Come on, sit down,’ and she pushed Kate into one of the comfy armchairs by the fire. This was a designated no children zone and although there was an absence of toys and children related chaos, it was far from a pristine room. Fiona didn’t believe in show houses. She declared that when she and Stuart sank onto the settee at the end of the evening, they wanted warmth and comfort, not immaculate cream carpets and accessories all chosen for their ability to blend in with the colour scheme. Fiona felt that Kate spent far too much time tidying and told her so frequently and Kate had to admit that the large messy room with its blazing fire and book laden shelves certainly gave the welcome that Fiona wanted.

  Stuart reappeared with a large glass of wine for each of the women. He set one beside Kate and then
crouched down to look into her eyes.

  ‘I’m going to leave you two to talk, Kate love. Fee’s got one of her fantastic beef casseroles in the oven and in about 15 minutes I’m going to serve it up and you’re going to stay and have some with us.’ He held up his hand to stop Kate from interrupting. ‘There’s always plenty, you know Fee she cooks for the five thousand every night and to be honest you look as though you haven’t had a square meal in weeks.’

  He noticed the tremour of Kate’s hand and he leant nearer to give it a squeeze. ‘And when you’ve eaten you can either stay here tonight or I’ll drive you and Millie back.’

  Kate lifted grateful eyes. For some reason his solicitude was almost more than she could bear. Perhaps it was just the feeling of someone taking charge, of making the decisions and looking after her. The last few days had left Kate feeling totally alone.

  He smiled and dropping a kiss on the top of his wife’s head he walked back into the kitchen and Kate could hear the muted sounds of the table being laid and smell the intoxicating aroma of a casserole drifting down the hallway.

  ‘What happened?’ asked Fiona.

  Kate lent back in the chair, feeling the warmth of the fire begin to defrost her toes and the comfort of the room start to envelop her.

  She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to bring herself back into the present.

  ‘I decided to follow Sandra home, see if there was any sign of Alex and her being together.’

  She laughed humorlessly at Fiona’s expression. ‘Yes I know it was a bit mad but I just wanted to know Fee. Well I think I already knew but I just wanted to be certain.’