Roman

by K. J. Dahlen

  “I suddenly have feelings I’ve never had before,” he explained quietly. “I love you like I’ve never loved a woman. Like I never knew I could love a woman ever. Women were never important to me before I met you. I loved them but I could live without them too.” He shrugged. “That didn’t work so well after I met you. The longer we were together the deeper you went in my heart. I didn’t just want you in my bed…I wanted you in my life. I couldn’t breathe unless you were there beside me. When I had my arms around you at night, I felt my world was complete. Then you told me I was gonna be a dad?” Deke laughed. “Boy, you blew me away that day. I never even thought about a kid before. I vowed I would never have kids before I met you. I remembered what my childhood was like and I didn’t want that for anybody, let alone a small innocent human being. Then suddenly, there you were and you told me you were gonna have my kid. I was stunned but then I was extremely happy too. My brain was filled with pictures of my kid and everything I wanted for him or her. I imagined you growing fat with the baby. Then him or her being born. I could picture its little fingers and toes, I could also see me standing right there beside you watching the baby take its first steps, or riding its first bike or going to school for the first time. And you know something?”

  “What?” Cassie asked, as she felt astonished at this rare display of Deke sharing his thoughts.

  “Unexpectedly, my world changed. I wasn’t alone anymore either. I had you and the promise of something better in my future. Maybe that’s what being a dad really means. The promise of a future.” He shrugged. “All I know is I want more for this child than I ever had. Sam was a deadbeat as far as being a dad went, he sucked. Maybe he didn’t know what being a dad meant either but I’m going to do better for my kids. My kid is gonna know he or she has value.”

  Cassie felt tears roll down her checks and for a moment, she couldn’t speak. Then she told him, “I had to learn to survive and no child should ever have to do that but I grew up, I survived for a reason. When things got really bad I could always hear my mother’s voice in my head. I didn’t realize who it was at first but I know who it was now. Her words of wisdom gave me hope. When I met you that first day, I knew in my heart that you were the one I’d been waiting for all my life.”

  “I wasn’t very nice to you that day.” Deke frowned. “I think I even hit you.”

  Cassie smiled. “You did smack me but I didn’t tear you apart. In fact I think I even smacked you first. If it had been anyone else, I would have taken you down, but I didn’t. I went home with you instead.”

  Deke grinned at her. “You gave me a gift a few nights later, a gift I’ve never had before.” His voice was soft with remembering.

  “You were the only man I’d met that I felt deserved that part of me. Sex scared the living daylights out of me. I didn’t want meaningless sex, I wanted something better. Something I got with you. You see a lot of meaningless sex on the streets. Sex of all kinds and mostly, it wasn’t nice either. Women allowing men to use their bodies as a type of barter and that just felt dirty to me. I wasn’t going to be one of those women. I tried to tell Peaches that but she was always more sexual than I was. She did promise me though she would never use sex as a form of barter.”

  “I was surprised and very happy you waited for me,” he whispered in her ear.

  “When can we go home?”

  “A few more hours. The doctor wants to make sure you’re good to go.”

  “Can’t we just leave?”

  Deke shook his head. “Not this time. I took you out of here once before and it was against medical advice. I’m not taking any chances this time.”

  Cassie groaned. “I want to sleep in my own bed with you beside me.”

  “Be careful what you wish for, young lady,” Doctor Peters said as he stood in the doorway.

  “Why is that? It sounds heavenly to me right now.”

  “I can send you home today if you like, but only of you promise me that you’ll take it easy. In fact, I want you on complete bed rest until your next appointment.”

  “That’s two weeks away!” Cassie protested.

  “I know,” Doctor Peters said, as he got closer. “But you went through something bad yesterday, between the disappointment of the missed wedding and the kidnapping, your body suffered a trauma. I just want to make sure you completely recover.” He motioned toward her big belly. “I want to give them a fighting chance. If they’re born too early, they might not survive.”

  Cassie gasped and her hands went to her belly. “That’s just plain mean doc.”

  “It may be but I’m very serious young lady,” he stated firmly. “Right now, they’re probably big enough to make it but they aren’t fully developed yet. Their lungs aren’t ready to breathe fresh air yet. Their little minds have to finish developing. And I think for your own sanity, you need this break. Let this big guy take care of you. Let your friends take care of you for a change.”

  Cassie glanced at Deke and nodded. “Okay, I want my children to live.”

  “Then follow my orders and we’ll see them born in about eight weeks.” Doctor Peters nodded and then when he got to the door, he looked back at them, “Do you still want to go home?”

  Cassie nodded.

  “I’ll get your paperwork done and you can leave in a few hours, but I mean it. Complete bed rest for two weeks.”

  Deke stared back at the man. “She’ll behave doc, if I have to sit on her, she’ll behave.”

  Doctor Peters nodded. “See that she does.”

  Cassie sighed and wrapped her arms around Deke’s waist. “Well, that sucks.”

  Deke chuckled. “At least, you’ll get some rest before they’re born.”

  Cassie scoffed. “I have too much to do between now and then. I have a meeting with the city council coming up next week. We need final approval for Redemption House. I have to hire a full time on staff nurse and councilor before then. Then I have to do a final walkthrough before the meeting.”

  “Honey, I know this is your dream but you heard the doc, you have to be on complete bed rest for the next two weeks,” Deke reminded her. “Someone else can do all that.”

  “I suppose they’ll have to.” Cassie felt crushed. She knew her dreams were now in someone else’s hands. Her hands rubbed her big belly and she felt her children moving inside her. She leaned into Deke and smiled. Not all her dreams were gone. She still had the most important dream close to her heart.

  ~* * * *~

  A few hours later, Cassie found herself in her own bed, the bed she shared with Deke.

  Peaches, Paige, Max and Peggy were there. Amos and Frankie were there too, as were Deacon and Marnie.

  “Marnie, I wanted to ask you something.” Cassie looked over at the other woman.

  “What’s that?”

  “I was wondering if you wanted to be part of the staff at Redemption House.”

  Marnie looked stunned. “In what position?”

  “Staff councilor. I need someone who understands the problems the people coming to us will have. Someone who can offer real help, not just say they will help but actually get behind them and dig for the right kind of help. I want someone who will understand where they are coming from and help them get to where they need to be. I think that person is you.”

  “But I’m not licensed for New York. I’m a social worker for Massachusetts.”

  “It wouldn’t take you long to get your creds for New York. I’ve seen how the guys respond to you, how you can almost sense what they need before they do. I saw what you wanted for the kids you brought with you from Boston and that’s the passion I want for my dream. That’s what I need for Redemption House. I want you.”

  Marnie smiled. “I would love it. I fell in love with your dream too. What you want to give everyone who comes there is a second chance and it is so badly needed.”

  Cassie grinned. “That’s one problem settled then. Now I need someone to walk through with the city council. Peaches can you do that? It can be
done before you and Iceman go back to Boston if we need to.”

  “Me?” She looked horrified. “I don’t have any clue what to say to them.”

  “Yes, you do,” Cassie told her. “You were there when this became my dream. You know better than anyone what this House represents. A safe clean place for people to come to. It’s what we both dreamed of while we were living on the streets of Boston.”

  “Miss Peaches,” Amos assured her, “We can help you too. We know the dangers that are out there and we know what you and Miss Cassie want to do. We haven’t had a place to call home in quite a while but we do now. Thanks to her.”

  “Yeah, we do and it’s all thanks to you guys.” Frankie nodded.

  Peaches looked from Amos to Frankie and then at Cassie. “I can do this.”

  Cassie smiled. “Now, if I can talk Maggie into taking the staff nurse position I’m ready to go.”

  “I would love to help,” Maggie called out from the doorway. “I was coming to check on you and I heard everything you said.” She came into the room and grinned. “I would love to be a part of this. I’ve been watching what you’re doing over there and I’ve wanted in since the beginning.”

  Cassie smiled and ran her hands over her belly. Her babies turned inside her expressing their pleasure to her. Then one of them kicked her ribs hard and she gasped. Pressing her hand to her side, she felt another kick. “Well, I think the babies agree with everything so far.” She giggled.

  “Okay, we need to let her get some rest,” Maggie announced to the room.

  Everyone but Peaches and Paige left. When it was just the four of them Maggie did her exam and announced she was doing great. Then she packed up her equipment and left the sisters alone.

  “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I want to help too,” Paige told them.

  “Are you sure?” Cassie asked with a frown. “That would mean moving here. Your mom and dad might not want you to go.”

  There was a knock on the door and Max came in. “I need to talk to you guys. It will only take a moment but it’s important.”

  “Sure, come on in.” Cassie smiled.

  Peaches got to her feet and began walking to the door. “I’ll just give you guys a moment.”

  “Please stay,” Max said. “You are as much a sister to her as Paige is.”

  Peaches glanced from Max to Cassie. When she saw Cassie’s nod she went back to the bed and sat down.

  Max came over to where Cassie and Paige were. He cleared his throat and began pacing. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just say it. Your mother came to see me when she was pregnant with the two of you. She said she had to sneak away while Flynn was gone but somehow, she found out where I lived and one day she just turned up there. Of course, we didn’t yet know there were two of you but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is she asked me to do her a favor.”

  “What did she want you to do?” Cassie asked.

  Max ran his fingers through his hair. “When she came to see me she had a black eye. She told me Flynn wasn’t the man she thought he was and she was afraid of him. She was not only pregnant but she was very pregnant. I thought she was going to have her baby any day at the time. She looked me up for a reason though and that reason was the two of you. She wanted something to leave you if something happened to her. She asked me to get her an insurance policy to take care of her baby, in case Flynn ended up killing her. I was shocked when she said that but she told me how it was with him. She also told me he must never know about it. She didn’t want him to drink it up or put it into his veins. The insurance was for her kid. What was I going to say? I told her she should just leave him if she was afraid of him but she said she couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t ever let her leave him. He threatened to kill her and her baby if she left him.”

  “And did you do what she wanted?” Peaches asked.

  Max nodded. “I did. I got the policy and she paid the monthly rate. We did that for two years before Flynn brought Paige to us. He never said your mother was dead, so I didn’t do anything with the policy. It was a little over a year later we heard she was gone. A lawyer got a hold of us and told us she’d been beaten to death. By the time we found out, Flynn and Cassie were already gone. We never knew Cassie existed until she came to us a few months ago.”

  “Did you cash in the policy?” Cassie wanted to know.

  “Yeah, we did.” Max admitted. “I invested the money and over time, the policy grew to a great deal of money. Part of that money paid for Paige’s college tuition but there is still a great deal of it left. Peggy and I never touched that money because it wasn’t ours. That money was your mother’s legacy to you girls. I think it’s only fair to split the money between the two of you girls. That was the reason your mother wanted it in the first place. To give you girls the chance for a better life than she had.” Max smiled. “The Jemmia I knew would have wanted her daughters to have so much more than she did. She and Flynn dropped out of school and lived hand to hand.” Shaking his head he said, “I think she would have been proud of both of you. Paige has a college degree and Cassie has Redemption House.”

  Cassie felt Paige take her hand. Peaches took the other one and she felt tears welling in her eyes.

  “I think that’s a good idea Daddy,” Paige told him. “I had my chance to do something with my part of the money now it’s time for Cassie to get her chance.”

  Max laughed out loud. “Sweetheart, there’s enough money for both of you to see all of your dreams come true. I told you I invested it well. Your college only took a little bit of your half.”

  “Good, then I’ve got money to invest in Redemption House,” Paige told them.

  “You would do that?” Cassie asked.

  “You bet I would.” Paige nodded. “I want to see your dreams come true too. I can’t think of a more worthy cause than this one. This is something the whole world could use.”

  Max nodded. “Okay then, I’ll make the transfer to your bank. And I also think you belong here with your sister. Your mom and I have been talking about it and I’m going to retire in a few weeks and we’re thinking about moving too. Maybe if Cassie can use our help and we could all work at Redemption House.”

  “That would be a great idea.” Peaches clapped. “We’re getting the whole family involved!”

  Cassie had tears in her eyes. “It really is a dream come true.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Deke threw down his pen down on his desk. He was trying to get paperwork done but he couldn’t even think about anything but Cassie. He’d spent several days with her at home but now he needed to get something done.

  He was just about to get back to it when he heard a knock on the door. He looked up to find Iceman standing there. He motioned for the other man to come in.

  Iceman sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk.

  “What’s up?” Deke asked.

  “I’ve been looking around your town.”

  “Oh? Why is that?”

  “I’m thinking about moving here.”

  “Why? You don’t like Boston anymore?”

  Iceman shrugged. “What can I say? I like Boston just fine but I got a woman now and a kid on the way. Maybe it’s time for me to straighten my life up a bit.”

  “And moving here is gonna do that?”

  “Your woman is here and my woman wants to be close to her.” He sat back in his chair. “Hell, after what those two went through I don’t blame her. Boston has too many bad memories for her. I want everything for her and my kids and if that means moving to Troy then that’s what I’ll do. Besides, I can start a new Sinners Chapter here. Might even give you a little competition.”

  “What kind of work are you looking for?” Deke asked.

  “I want to build custom motorcycles. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and some of my men will come over with me. All we need is the space to operate and time to get our name known.”

  Deke grinned. “I think I kn
ow of the perfect spot, plus there’s a warehouse close by along with another building you can convert to an apartment building for housing if you want to.”

  “I might consider it,” Iceman agreed. “There is only one problem.”

  “Oh, what’s that?”

  “Peaches’ family is connected and I don’t want them involved with my business.” Iceman shrugged. “This is my chance to go legit.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “How do I tell her I won’t let her family help us out?”

  “Man.” Deke chuckled as he shook his head. “It sucks to be you.”

  “Yup, that’s a given. But I want to do this right and taking mob money isn’t the way I want to go. If I’m gonna make it I want to make it the right way, on my own and with my own hands.”

  “Then you need to tell her that. I think she’ll understand,” Deke assured him. “If she’s anything like Cassie, she’ll understand.”

  “Are we good then, on the MC side of all this?”

  Deke nodded. “I think this town is big enough for two MC’s. As long as we can get along we won’t have to face the wrath of either of our women.”

  “Yeah, I really don’t want to mess with either of them. That would be the wrong side of crazy.”

  “Me either,” Deke admitted with a grin.

  Before Iceman could respond, there was another knock at the door. Deke looked up and his eyes froze over. “What the fuck do you want?”

  Raine stood there without saying a word for a moment. Then he came in and stood beside Iceman’s chair. “All I want is to know how Cassie is doing?”

  “Go to hell.” Deke growled.

  Raine shook his head. “Between you and your dad, I don’t know which of you is being the bigger ass right now, you or him.”

  Deke stood up and his hands curled into fists. His eyes blazed with anger. “Fuck off.”

  “How original,” Raine drawled. “Look you may not appreciate this but your dad isn’t leaving town anytime soon. He just wants to know how she’s doing. He didn’t realize she suffers from PTSD. None of us did. We really didn’t mean to cause her any injury that day. He just wanted to talk to her, find out if she was the right one for you.”