by Sue Lawson
Lou opened the door when I knocked. ‘Hello, Ruby! Haven’t seen you for a while.’
I shifted the overnight bag on my shoulder. ‘Kind of grounded after…’
Lou smiled. ‘The cling wrap?’
I raised my eyebrows.
‘Well, it’s not like you smashed her windows or scratched the duco, is it?’
‘Wish my mum and dad saw it that way.’
‘How is Ginny?’ asked Lou, still standing in the doorway. ‘I haven’t seen her for ages. Or Stuart.’
‘They’re at Archie’s end-of-year concert.’
‘What torture,’ said Lou. ‘I bribed the girls to miss tonight. Cost me two DVDs, a packet of microwave popcorn and a trip to Luna Park after Christmas. You, Sas and Khaden can take them.’ She sighed. ‘Now I just have to find an excuse to miss Madison’s graduation. Sas’s ceremony went on and on.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘That’s right, you were there too!’ Her laugh reminded me of a bird’s trill. ‘Honestly, it’s just the end of primary school.’ She stepped back to let me past. ‘Sas is in her room with Khaden.’
I grinned. We were Khaden, Ruby and Sas again. I pushed my overnight bag ahead of me with my knee, and headed to Sas’s room.
She met me in the doorway. ‘Hey!’ Sas grabbed my bag and tossed it on her bed. I dumped my handbag beside it.
Her room looked fantastic, even better than when I’d last seen it. The curtains, in blocks of lime, purple and fuchsia, billowed with the breeze coming through the windows either side of the mantelpiece. Bright photo frames, the cream lamp, massive Buddha, purple alarm clock and iPod speakers, jostled for space on the mantelpiece. Heavy purple curtains hung over the glass doors, blocking out the lounge room. In front of them was a blue sofa and in the corner, a desk.
‘It looks amazing, Sas.’
‘Doesn’t it?’
Khaden stepped back from the laptop on Sas’s desk. ‘How you been, Ruby?’
As he moved, I saw the silver frame edged with flowers. I stood frozen to the spot. For as long as I could remember, there’d been a photo of Sas as a little kid sitting on her dad’s shoulders in that frame. Now it held a photo of Sas and Khaden that I’d taken at the pool. They sat on Sas’s towel, heads together and smiling. Goose bumps popped up along my arms and the back of my neck.
‘Like it?’ said Sas, brushing past. ‘My father gave it to me.’
It took me a minute to realise she was talking about the laptop.
‘Yeah. I guess.’
‘The hard drive is huge, bigger than Mum’s PC, and it has wireless broadband.’
Sas’s voice washed over me as I stared at the photo and tried to make my smile real. I hadn’t been paranoid. Sas and Khaden had been different—they were different. Why hadn’t I realised before now? The signs were there—the looks, the stepping apart when I neared them, the ring—but somehow I had pretended it wasn’t happening.
If Sas and Khaden were more than friends, what did that mean for us—Khaden, Ruby and Sas? And if it didn’t mean anything for us, then why hadn’t they just told me?
My head spun.
‘Awesome, isn’t it?’ said Sas, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
‘Early Christmas present?’
‘Nah, just another bribe to make me talk to him.’
Everything—Sas’s voice, Khaden’s stance, even the air—felt different. I wiggled away from her and perched on the edge of the sofa, gripping my knees. ‘And this?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Cast-off from his old place. Now that he’s moved, everything is “uber cool”—black and white, not that I’ve seen it. Eliza told me.’
‘We ready? asked Khaden.
‘Ready for what?’ As I spoke, I checked out Khaden. His hair was gelled into a mess, and he wore black bracelets on his arm, a Ramones t-shirts, but not his favourite, black skinny legs and, instead of his holey Volleys, tartan skate shoes. A faded purple bruise still clung to his jaw.
‘Angst Ridden at The Basement. Didn’t I put that in my text?’ said Sas, applying mascara at the mirror. She wore a silky singlet with shoestring straps and skinny legs.
‘Umm…’ I looked down at my baby-doll top and thongs.
‘You look great.’ Sas recapped the mascara. ‘Just change the thongs.’
‘Do I have time to do my hair and makeup?’ I asked.
Sas looked at Khaden. ‘Sure. Just be quick.’
I set to work on my hair and face.
‘Sas, is your mum okay about the band and me staying over?’
Sas laughed. ‘She’s so delirious about missing tonight’s concert, she’d agree to anything. Anyway, we’ll be hanging out with Taj, so she’s cool. We just have to be back before midnight.’ Sas draped a scarf around her neck. ‘Set?’
‘I guess.’ I packed away up my makeup and brush and reached for my handbag. ‘Umm … is it … like, is it an underage gig?’
‘Are you going chicken out on us, Ruby?’ asked Khaden.
‘Yeah, thought you were fearless these days,’ added Sas.
‘No, I mean, I am, I’m just checking about ID.’
Khaden patted my shoulder. ‘Taj has taken care of that, and tickets. A peace offering.’
I was too wound up to wonder why Taj was making him a peace offering.
Sas clapped. ‘So, let’s rock.’ She danced down the hall to the family room, where she said goodbye to her mum.
Lou hugged Khaden and made him promise to look after us. She kissed my cheek.
I did and said all the right things—we’ll be good and home on time—but it was like I wasn’t really there. All I could think about was Sas and Khaden, Khaden and Sas.
Why had they asked me tonight? It wasn’t as if I was into the indie rock, grunge stuff like them. Sas loved to say that I was into ‘commercial’ pop, with a hint of disgust hanging around the edges of the word ‘commercial’.
On the footpath, casting long shadows, we talked as if the train and fight had never happened. We laughed about the bombs at the pool, Lyndal’s expression when The Fink banished her from the gym, and the trolley thing.
I looked down at our shadows, linked together on the footpath, and realised I didn’t care why they’d asked me, I was just relieved they had, because being with them was easy. Comfortable. Right.
We were Khaden, Ruby and Sas.
Khaden
‘Left here,’ said Khaden, turning down the side street that led to the main road.
Sas groaned.
‘What’s up?’ asked Ruby.
She screwed up her face. ‘There’s a queue. I hate queues more than anything.’
‘More than The Fink?’ asked Ruby.
‘And Lyndal?’ asked Khaden.
‘Okay, so I don’t hate them. Queues annoy me about as much as Dad.’
Khaden stood closer to her. She’d dropped enough hints that things weren’t great with her dad, but it was the first time she’d come out and said it.
‘Sas, is everything okay?’ asked Ruby. ‘I don’t mean to, you know … I just…’
Sas’s deep breath was loud and long. She stopped walking. ‘He has a new partner. It’s … complicated.’
Words tumbled from Ruby’s mouth in a rush. ‘Don’t I know it. Fathers are worse than complicated, mine is a complete idiot.’
Ruby looked freer, happier than she had in ages. Khaden glanced at Sas. Her face grew dark.
‘I mean, at least yours are divorced, that’s got to make it easier,’ continued Ruby, without noticing the change in Sas’s mood. ‘My dad has been—’
Sas cut her off. ‘Where are we meeting Taj?’ she asked, her voice flat.
The lightness in Ruby’s expression disappeared. She fiddled with her cardigan button.
‘I have to text him when we arrive.’ Khaden crossed the road a couple of steps ahead of the silent girls.
Khaden just wanted to chill and enjoy the band, not referee their catfights. If they fought or became competitive tonight, he’d lose it at both of
them, for sure.
Ruby
What had I been thinking? For the few seconds I’d teetered on the edge of spilling my guts to them, I felt so light, but while I was pouring out my horrible secret, all Sas was worried about was where to meet Taj. I was over being laughed at, pushed around and ignored.
Sas fell in step with Khaden and their hands, hanging by their sides, brushed. Instead of pulling away like I did if I accidentally touched Khaden, Sas left her hand where it was. A chill slithered down my arms to my fingertips. They weren’t even pretending any more.
They could stick their hints! No way was I coming out and asking what was going on.
‘Hey, Khade.’ I forced myself to sound light and bright. ‘Cool shoes—they new?’
‘Yeah.’ His voice was a little softer than before. ‘Sas helped me choose them.’
‘Good choice, Sas.’
Sas just nodded.
As we drew close, I checked out The Basement. Two bouncers the size of rugby players stood in front of the door, arms crossed, faces stern behind identical black sunglasses. The queue, which snaked along the footpath and past the bottle shop, was full of people way older than us.
‘May as well queue while we wait for Taj,’ said Khaden. He took his phone from his pocket and sent a text.
Sas and Khaden strolled the length of the queue. I slunk behind them, feeling small under the stares.
‘What the hell?’ said a gruff voice. ‘Someone left the kindy gates open.’
Other harsh voices buffeted us. The laughter was loud and grating.
‘Go home to Mummy, kiddies,’ crowed a voice.
I lowered my head further. Sas and Khaden didn’t seem worried by the heckling or laughter.
‘If I wanted to hang out with little kids, I’d have gone to a Hi5 concert.’ This voice was slurred.
I lifted my head and glared. A girl shorter than me, wearing a striped T-shirt, fedora hat and mini skirt, leered. Equally cool people in dark skinny legs and T-shirts surrounded her.
‘Problem, Princess?’ she said, looking me up and down.
My laugh was more a scoff. ‘Are you asking me a question or introducing yourself?’
A couple of her friends laughed.
Sas, Khaden and I stood behind her in the queue. She stepped away from the brick wall and onto the footpath.
‘This isn’t play school.’
‘Ignore her,’ said Khaden.
‘Like Ruby will take her on,’ said Sas, leaning against the wall.
Ears buzzing, I faced the girl, hands on my hips. ‘What is your problem?’
The fedora girl grimaced. ‘My problem is you underage tools.’
‘Didn’t know it was a gig for only old tools.’
Khaden groaned. ‘Leave it, Ruby.’
Sas clapped. ‘Go Ruby.’
The girl’s eyes were so narrow they looked like black lines. ‘Watch your smart mouth.’
A guy wearing a grey cardigan and white T-shirt pulled her back into the queue. Whatever he said to her made her laugh. She looked over her shoulder at me, shaking her head. I swear she mouthed skank at me.
I bit the inside of my cheek.
‘Oi, Khade,’ bellowed Taj from the corner. ‘What are you doing in the queue?’ He beckoned us forward. ‘It’s all squared with Mal and Deck. Come in.’
I frowned. ‘Who are Mal and Deck?’
‘The bouncers,’ said Khaden. ‘Let’s go.’
A rumble rolled through the queuers around us.
‘You’re kidding,’ said fedora girl.
‘Hey! No queue jumping,’ growled the guy in the grey cardigan.
I nodded at Taj. ‘We kiddies are with the band.’ I pulled my sweetest smile. ‘See you in there.’
Fedora girl lunged forward and pushed me. After all the stuff from the last few months—Dad, Khaden and Sas, Mojo’s death—I wasn’t putting up with this. My body swelled. I was strong, unbeatable, and so bloody angry.
The girl stood toe to toe with me. ‘Get back in line.’
I shoved her as hard as I could, the smack of my hands against her arms, loud.
Fedora righted herself and slapped me across the face.
Bright sparks of pain exploded in my cheek and jaw. I staggered, hand to my face. Tears stung my eyes.
‘Not such a smart arse now, are we, kitty cat?’ She leered.
‘Piss off, loser’ I said, blinking away the tears.
She raised her hand to strike me, but I was faster and blocked it with my arm.
A deeper rumble passed through the crowd. People surged around us. Movement and noise pressed against my skin.
A tangle of arms wrapped around me. I elbowed fedora girl hard and air rushed from her with an ooooof. She grabbed my hair and pulled. I screamed. Hands around my waist dragged me backwards and a gap in the crowd opened up.
‘Enough,’ yelled Khaden, standing between fedora girl and me, his arms outstretched like a boxing referee.
‘This has nothing to do with you,’ snarled the girl.
‘Look, I’m sorry about the queue thing.’ Khaden sounded so calm and reasonable. ‘My brother’s mixing and—’
‘I don’t give a shit.’ She pushed Khaden aside. He cannoned into her mates, who pushed him back towards us.
Sas yelled, ‘Stop it!’
The circle of bodies closed in on us, herding Khaden, fedora girl and me closer together.
Fedora girl’s lip twisted. She reached behind her back and lunged at me.
Khaden stepped between us.
Fedora girl kept coming. She thrust out her arm.
A glint of silver.
A scream.
‘Knife!’
The crush of bodies eased back.
I tumbled to the ground. Khaden landed beside me, curled into a ball.
‘Khaden?’ I crawled towards him.
He clutched his chest, face twisted in pain. ‘She punched me,’ he gasped. ‘Hurts. Bad.’
I eased his hands away from his body. A dark stain spread across his white Ramones T-shirt.
My skin turned icy. ‘Khaden!’ I fumbled in my bag for my phone and dialed 000.
Khaden
Khaden moaned and fought to catch his breath.
Ruby’s face floated in front of him.
‘Hurts. Bad.’
She lifted his hands and howled.
Khaden grimaced. Not another Ramones T-shirt ruined.
Sas, Taj and the bigger bouncer, Deck, were kneeling beside him.
Hands rolled him onto his back, sparking fresh waves of pain.
Deck pressed his hand below Khaden’s ribs, where it hurt. Khaden gasped and tried to push Deck away, but Deck pressed harder and spoke slow, gentle words.
‘I know it hurts mate, but it’ll stop the bleeding.
Bleeding? What bleeding?
Deck pressed harder.
Khaden was too tired to fight. Everything was distorted and fuzzy.
Ruby
In the hospital waiting room, I paced, sat on the vinyl chair, then paced again. Sas, and Taj had gone through swinging doors with a nurse ages ago. A different nurse had taken Mike through the same doors when he arrived. Lou had run in, her hair wild and slippers on her feet. Another nurse had whisked her away.
There were people in the waiting room, but I was too wound up to notice them. When Mum rushed in, it was like she snapped me back to reality. The room was brighter, people spoke in hushed voices, the air conditioner hummed and a cop show played on the TV on the wall.
‘Ruby!’ Mum knelt in front of the chair I’d collapsed in and held my hands. Tears filled her red eyes.
My throat was tight, as if someone was trying to choke me. ‘Khaden…’
‘I know, love, I know. Are you okay?’
I nodded. ‘It’s his blood…’
She swiveled to the seat beside me and held me. I rested my head on her shoulder. There was so much I wanted to say.
‘Is his dad here?’ Mum’s voice was soft.
‘With Taj, Sas and Lou, I think.’
‘How did you get here?’
‘The police drove me and Sas. I have to wait for them here.’
Mum nodded. ‘Do you need anything?’
Yep—for Khaden to be okay. ‘I’m good.’
The two police who’d driven me to the hospital pushed through the swinging doors, their faces grim. One of them was that older cop who’d turned up after we’d been caught shoplifting. That felt like years ago.
‘You must be Ruby’s mother. I’m John Dobson,’ said the cop.
Mum shook his hand. ‘Virginia Martin.’
‘I met your husband the other—’
‘He’s just told me about that.’
I pulled away from her. If she knew about the cop, she knew about the shoplifting, and that meant she knew about Dad, if Dad had done as he promised.
‘How’s Khaden?’ asked Mum.
‘He’ll be in surgery for a while.’ There seemed to be something he wasn’t saying.
‘And you need to interview Ruby?’
‘Yes, we need to take a statement, then you can take her home.’
Mum nodded.
We followed the police officers into a small room.
I took a deep breath and called back the images I’d worked so hard to push away.
My yawn was so big it felt like I would split in two.
‘All done, Ruby,’ said John Dobson, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘We’ll type that up and have you look over it at the station tomorrow, okay?’
‘Sure.’ It didn’t sound like my voice.
‘So I can take her home?’ asked Mum.
The cop nodded. ‘We’ll be in touch tomorrow. Should we call you or your hus—’
‘Me,’ snapped Mum. ‘I’ll be home with Ruby.’
Dobson nodded. ‘Right, well, speak to you tomorrow.’ The police left.
As we walked back into the waiting room, Lou came through the swinging doors. Sas was a step behind her, face as white as the hospital walls.
I rushed towards them. ‘How’s Khaden?’
Sas stepped around Lou, her face twisted. ‘I hate you.’
I reeled back. ‘Sas—’
Sas’s eyes were wild. ‘If you’d kept your bloody mouth shut, none of this would have happened.’
Lou took Sas’s hand. ‘Sas, that’s not helping anyone, especially Khaden.’