“Thanks, Joe.” She fought back tears as she did what he’d asked of her. She was going to miss this place. They were family here.
They sorted through inventory and got things cleaned up for the night ahead. When Lacey returned home after her shift, Bryce was sitting in front of the TV, nursing a glass of whiskey. This time though, he wasn’t drunk. Instead of running from her, he patted the spot beside him. Not much was said, but he apologized for the night before.
“Do you want to postpone the wedding?” Lacey offered.
Bryce shook his head. “Not a chance in hell. Jerry wouldn’t want that either.”
That was all they said to each other. Lacey laid her head on his shoulder and took in the silence, until exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.
The next day, he was up early and ready to help Lacey with all the last-minute wedding prep. He warned her that whatever didn’t get finished wouldn’t, because he was sending her to the spa to be pampered. She tried to protest, but it was no use. Bryce had won this one.
That Saturday, as promised, Lacey and Bryce tied the knot at the courthouse. Connor, Lauren, Tyler, and Scott stood for them. Eliot watched his brother and sister in the audience, with Amy, Riley and their brood. Joe gave Lacey away and sat next to his wife with tears in his eyes.
They had a small ceremony at the bar, just like Lacey wanted. Over their toast, they announced that they were expecting, surprising everyone.
For a moment, their lives were filled with joy and happiness, though Lacey could see the underlying grief on her soldier’s face.
Brothers—Dean Brody
First thing Monday morning, Bryce and Lacey turned in paperwork to DEERS to get Lacey her ID and enrolled on his benefits, before Bryce headed to his office for the day ahead.
The morale throughout was bittersweet. Word of Jerry’s death had left them all shocked and mourning for their comrade. News of Bryce’s nuptials was cause for congratulations from those who couldn’t make it to the reception, but he felt guilt for overshadowing his friend’s memory.
Several times throughout the day, he found himself twirling the wedding band on his finger. Any time his nerves or guilt amped up, he’d play with the symbol of love on his left hand. In a way, it brought him peace. Enough that he could bury his head in his work and get things lined up for the soldier who would be coming in behind him to fill his position here.
He was on his way out to lunch when his CO knocked on his office door and entered.
“Sir.” Bryce saluted.
“At ease.” His commander handed Bryce an envelope. “Your leave has been approved for three days to attend Sergeant Jerome Reed’s burial.”
Late last night, long after Lacey had fallen asleep in his arms, Bryce’s cell phone buzzed from the night table beside the bed. Jerry’s younger brother was on the other line. He listened as the young man cried and said that his family would really like for him to be there as they laid his brother to rest. Bryce fought back his own sobs as he tried to comfort Dan Reed, and assured him that he’d do all he could to make it there. Dan rattled off the arrangement details as Bryce jotted them down.
Handing in the request for leave was his second stop of the morning and a good cause for his nerves until now. It wasn’t a given that he’d be granted the time, especially not with everything else happening, and the fact that he was about to PCS in a matter of weeks. But he hoped his higher-ups would understand and grant it.
“Sir, I appreciate this, and I know Reed’s family will too. He saved my life. I owe it to him to stand watch over him and his family while he’s laid to rest,” Bryce replied candidly.
“You let them know what an asset their son was. He was a hell of a soldier, as you well know.”
“I do, sir.”
“All right. Well, go on and take your lunch break. I’ll see you at 1300 for the unit meeting.”
“Yes, sir.”
Bryce followed his CO out of his office, locking the door behind him.
Instead of the perfect Christmas with family, that they’d been planning before their move overseas, Bryce and Lacey spent the holiday in Montana with Jerry’s family. Watching as a mother and father buried their son, saying goodbye to their hero.
In his dress blues, Bryce stood tall as they lowered his friend, his comrade, into the ground. Not a single tear fell from his eyes. TAPS played and he watched, stoic, as soldiers folded the flag that once draped his casket, and handed it to his mother.
Lacey stifled a sob as she held onto his arm.
For the first time in his entire military career, he watched one of his soldiers being laid to rest. Twenty years of service, and he never lost one of his – sure, men had died in the field, but they weren’t his men. His unit. His friend. Luck didn’t even begin to describe it. It was unheard of.
At the wake, Bryce hung back in the corner and watched everyone around him. A few of Jerry’s friends from his youth approached Bryce, and spoke to him about their friend. Thanked Bryce for his service. He was polite, but clipped with everyone, the loss of his friend hitting him harder with each passing moment.
Bryce had seen Jerry through the ranks. Had his life not been cut short, Bryce knew he’d make an amazing leader one day. Instead, the Army had lost one of the best. And for what? Because he couldn’t fight his own demons. Likely, because the Army had failed him. Failed to realize that he needed more support than what he was getting. That, or Jerry hid his own demons far too well.
“I’ve decided to enlist.” Dan Reed walked up beside Bryce and leaned against the wall. “I told my parents last night, and they freaked.”
Bryce took a deep breath and looked at the young man beside him. Dan resembled a younger Jerry. Just six years separated the two brothers. He tried to put himself in Dan’s shoes; that call to duty, the urge to do something. He got it, he did.
But with Lacey carrying his own son or daughter, he could see things from the Reeds’ perspective. They’d lost one son to war, and there was no guarantee they wouldn’t lose another.
Either way, it took balls to commit to serving.
“I’m sure it’s not easy on them. But you make sure you’re doing this for you. Think it through, man, because once you sign your name on the dotted line – the Army owns you. There are no guarantees in war. You’re, what, halfway through college now?” Bryce tried to recall the conversations he’d had with Jerry about the boy.
“Yes, sir.”
“Finish college, get your degree first; you’ve come this far. Then, if you still want to fight, join. Think on it. Either way, I’m sure you’ll make a hell of a soldier.” Bryce patted him on the back. “I’ve gotta head out. Early flight. Give your parents my best, please?”
“I will, sir. And thank you, you know, for being there for Jerry.” The boy’s eyes reddened and tears threatened to fall.
Bryce didn’t trust himself to respond, so instead, he gave a curt nod before beelining for Lacey, who was busy making small talk with an officer’s wife. He wrapped an arm around her and gave her a gentle kiss on her temple. “Sorry to interrupt. We should head out. Early flight and all.”
“Of course.” Lacey leaned into his side briefly. “Bryce, this is Marcella Garcia. Her husband is the Brigade General here in Great Falls.”
“It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am.” Bryce politely shook her hand.
“Yes, of course. My husband served with Major Reed, Jerome’s father, before he retired.”
“Small world. Their service runs in the family, it seems.”
“Yes, it does. I’ll let you to get going. It was great to meet you, Lacey; you as well, Master Sergeant.”
The two women hugged like they were old friends and Bryce shook Marcella’s hand one last time, before guiding Lacey toward the door.
“Do you want to say goodbye to Jerry’s folks?” she whispered.
“Can’t, Lace. Barely holding it together,” he confessed.
What I’ve Done—Linkin Park
�
��He was a hell of a soldier, ya know? Tough as nails. Never hesitated to get the job done. I just talked to him when I was down that way. He was laughing and making jokes.” He scrubbed his hand over his face as he sat on the edge of the bed in their hotel room. “Now his kid brother wants to sign up and somehow avenge Jerry’s death. He’s a good kid, Lacey, and I’m sure he’d make a damn good soldier, but he’s all his folks have left.”
Lacey listened as Bryce continued talking.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting too fucking old for this shit. Today felt like a wake-up call. Shit, that could have been me.”
He watched as her hands froze on top the suitcase she was packing up; her shoulders squared and she turned to face him. “You’re right. It could have been. But it wasn’t.” Her voice was soft and gentle. “You put on that uniform every day and have a chance to make a difference. To do something about his death. Do I want you in the line of fire? Hell no. I want you home, safe, with me. But I also want you to do what makes you happy.”
It had taken hours for Bryce to fall asleep that night. They laid awake, holding each other, talking about everything and nothing at all. When silence fell between them, he tossed and turned, keeping Lacey awake with him.
Nightmares haunted him every time he tried to close his eyes. He pictured Jerry’s casket being lowered into the ground, visions of his mother sobbing as they handed her a folded flag. The sound of Lacey’s own strangled sob from his side. Fear seeped into his soul, anger made his body tremble. He wanted revenge. Revenge on the assholes that attacked his men. Wrecked his life and forced Jerry to end his own. Instead, chances were, he’d be stuck in an office job for the duration of his orders.
His head was so fucked up and twisted. He didn’t know what the hell he wanted, except for the images that kept running circles in his mind to shut off.
Finally, around one a.m., Bryce’s breath evened out and he fell off to sleep. Lacey tried to relax and close her eyes too, and she was just about to fall into a deep slumber, when Bryce thrashed next to her, startling her back awake.
He let out a moan of pain that had Lacey sitting up in bed.
His body jerked again and he called out.
A nightmare.
She should have expected it. They’d gone away for a while, but Jerry’s death would certainly trigger their return.
“Bryce, wake up,” she pleaded gently, rubbing his arm. “It’s just a dream, baby, wake up. You’re ok. Come back to me.”
He grabbed her wrist tightly and shouted again.
With her free hand, she thumped on his chest and shouted at him. “Wake up, Bryce, let go!” His eyes fluttered open. In the moonlight glow, she could see the darkness in them. “Bryce, it’s Lacey. It’s ok. Please. Let go.”
Emptiness stared back at her. “Bryce!” she called out again. His grip finally loosened on her arm, but he still resembled a wild man. Panting, sweating, staring into space. When he moved ever so slightly, Lacey flinched and retreated, scrambling to pull herself away from him.
She swallowed hard and counted as minutes ticked by, until recognition finally washed over Bryce’s face. “Fuck. Lacey?”
“It’s me. You’re safe. It’s just you and me.” She tried to stay calm, even though the moment had terrified her. “You and me.”
Lacey continued to watch as he pulled himself together. It seemed like the worst was over, she hoped.
“Where’s your mind at right now?” she eventually ventured to speak again.
Bryce cleared his throat. “Just needed a minute.” He sat up and pushed himself back against the headboard, taking a deep breath.
His physical scars may have long since faded, his broken bones had healed. But the memories lingered.
He needed to breathe. He needed space. More importantly, he needed to get away from the woman who was cowering in the corner like he might hurt her. Whatever the fuck just happened had his woman – the woman he loved with all he had – visibly fearful of him. That was one way to make him feel like a monster, that’s for sure.
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he slowly stood, his body still trembling. He was halfway to the bathroom when she spoke again.
“Think you should try talking to someone again? Maybe start taking those meds they gave you?”
Bryce paused for a minute and sighed, looking up toward the ceiling. “No. Not a chance in hell.” They really needed to stop having this conversation.
“I love you.” She slowly edged closer to him, but he quickly backed away.
“Need a minute,” he grunted in frustration. He needed to get his head together before he went anywhere near her.
“Ok,” she sniffled.
He didn’t miss the tear that fell right before he shut the door between them.
He wanted to bang his fist against the wall. Scream. Trash the place. But he couldn’t. Instead, he settled for opening the bathroom window so the cold winter air would filter in. He took a piss and paced until he felt like he had his shit together. He was angry. Mad as hell. Pissed that one of his men was gone. Pissed that the nightmares were back and that this war was slowly killing him.
Once he was convinced he was calmer, or at least calm enough to assess the situation with Lacey, he wet his face with cold water, dried it with a towel, then grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.
She was laying on her side, facing away from him, when he crawled back in bed. “You wanna go back to sleep?” He moved his hands over her chest, placing kisses over her shoulder.
He was already hard below the waist, the white sheet draped around him doing nothing to hide his arousal. She should push him away; part of him wished she would because she deserved more. But she wouldn’t. The slightest touch and she was already wet, her nipples tightened into buds, ready to take whatever he was willing to give her. This was his thing; it’s what they did when he came out of a nightmare. He’d make love to her. Sometimes he’d fuck her hard and fast. It seemed to get them through. Build that connection that had been momentarily lost.
Tonight, he knew he needed to take his time with her. Worship her so that she knew her worth.
When she rolled to her back, Bryce slid the t-shirt she was wearing up over her tits, then he continued kissing and nipping down her body. Lacey purred under him. By the time he reached her core, he could nearly taste her. Slowly, he parted her folds and slipped one finger inside her. Her body rose off the bed and she let out a contented sigh.
“More,” she begged.
“More what, Lacey?”
“I need more, Bryce, please!”
Using his tongue, he lapped at her clit while he continued to slip his finger in and out of her. Her hips jolted and her hands went to the back of his head, holding him there as he worked her over. He added another finger and doubled his efforts with his tongue. Lacey panted and groaned when he moved his other hand to hold down her hips while he feasted on her.
“Shit. Bryce, oh God, oh God…”
He could feel her pulsing around his fingers, her pussy tightening with each touch.
“Let go, Lace,” he mumbled against her flesh.
That was all it took – her body convulsed as she slipped over the edge, chanting his name. Bryce slowed but continued to lick her until her orgasm stopped. Then he worked his way back up her body, his cock ready for action.
“You’re so fucking beautiful when you come.” He leaned in and kissed her, his cock slipping inside her still sensitive heat. “Shit,” he hissed and worked his dick out and then back in.
Lacey mewed again. “So good.”
“Feels good, Lace?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“I love you so much baby.” A lone tear slid down his cheek and landed on Lacey. He hoped like hell she missed it, but her eyes snapped open and she stared back at him.
Taking his face in her hands, she ran her thumbs across his cheeks as he thrusted inside her. “I love you too, Bryce Matheson. So damn much.”
He was going to go
slow, take his time. But Lacey tugged him closer, urging him on. She knew him better than anyone else and knew he was holding back now.
“Let yourself go, Bryce, and let me catch you when you fall.”
Her words were his undoing. He needed her, hard, fast. Now he needed to fuck her, to claim her. “Can you get on your knees for me?”
She gave a nod and moaned as he withdrew from her. Their bodies moved in sync with one another; Bryce moved behind her as quickly as she repositioned on her hands and knees before him.
“Fuck, you’re so hot like this.” He moved closer, positioning himself at her entrance. “You ready to come again for me, Lace?”
Pushing back against him with a loud gasp was the only answer she gave. Bryce pushed forward at the same time, filling her to the hilt before retreating and entering her all over again. He took his time until she was panting and begging for more, then he gave her what she really needed. Thrusting into her relentlessly, his name tumbling from her lips as she came again. Her pussy gripped his cock, spurring him on. Bryce grunted, grabbing her long blonde hair and wrapping it around his hand, tugging her head back gently. His other hand was on her hip while he slammed into her as far as he could before his own release spilled into her.
He stilled while his cock flexed and continued to empty inside her tight pussy. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Lacey.”
She purred like a kitten when he leaned closer, his hands slipping under her arms, pulling her upward until she was kneeling, her back pressed to his chest. He planted kisses on her neck and down her shoulder. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too.”
Sated and satisfied, Bryce ran his hand over her stomach and held onto her for a few minutes more before withdrawing from her body and collapsing on the bed. Lacey slowly worked her way off the bed, reaching for her discarding nightgown, and headed for the bathroom.
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