Saving Abby

by Steena Holmes

  Claire could see it in Josh’s eyes, the way he watched the two romping down the street. It was for Josh what the old man feeding birds by the church had been for her—inspiration.

  She wound her arm through his. “Time to head back to the hotel?”

  “I should have brought my notebook.”

  “Our hotel isn’t too far away. You won’t forget it. And I promise to enjoy my wine in silence while you scribble during dinner.”

  He leaned over and kissed her, his lips lingering over hers. “We make a great team, don’t we, Mrs. Turner?”

  “Yes indeed, Mr. Turner. We certainly do.”

  SEVEN

  CLAIRE

  Present day

  Claire stood in the empty bedroom they had long ago set aside for their child and reflected on the wonder of her life.

  She rubbed her belly gently.

  Josh wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her neck. “Are you thinking about decorating?”

  Claire looked around her. The walls were a soft yellow, almost like a buttercream, and on them hung a few posters with inspirational messages—about believing in one’s dreams, of fairy tales coming true, about the heart of a child containing a whole world of magic.

  There were also drawings Claire had done over the years of small black sheep. She’d fallen in love with black sheep when as a teen she’d visited Scotland with her mom.

  A rocker they’d found years ago, one she’d been immediately smitten by, filled the far corner. They’d had no room in the house to put it but here—its perfect place. But there was no crib, no changing table, nothing to welcome a baby home.

  Their baby.

  “I’m just letting it sink in. It hardly seems real.” She turned in her husband’s arms. “It’s a dream come true, Josh. Especially after . . .”

  “After letting go of our dream on the cruise.”

  He understood, and Claire loved him all the more for that.

  “So we make new dreams with this little one. New dreams for a new baby.” His kiss was soft, sweet, and full of hope.

  “Guess I need to buy a notebook for all my future lists.” Claire smiled at the thought.

  “Well . . . look at that.” Josh glanced meaningfully at the rocking chair.

  She turned and noticed a yellow cloth journal sitting on its seat. She beamed. “When did you get that?”

  “I picked it up at the store while you were with Abby.” A sheepish grin appeared on his face. “I meant it as a little gift, because of what today is. But”—he shrugged—“it kind of fits.”

  “It’s perfect.” With tears in her eyes, she opened it to the first page.

  To the wife of my life, the mate of my heart, the keeper of my secrets . . . I will always love you. Today will always be worth remembering.

  She melted at his words. In each journal he bought for her, he wrote something personal. She loved the custom and treasured the sentiments. One day she planned on creating a word collage of the things he’d written to her.

  She struggled to articulate her feelings, to say something that would adequately express her love.

  “Speechless?” he asked. The way his eyes twinkled with laughter, as if he knew he’d caught her off guard, made her smile.

  “Keeper of your secrets, huh?” She tilted her head. “I didn’t think you had any secrets, thought you were an open book.”

  “Well, you’re the only one who knows I wear tighty-whities and that I’m scared of spiders.”

  “My superhero, you.”

  Josh puffed out his chest and anchored his hands on his hips. “I’m here to serve.”

  “I thought you liked Iron Man?”

  “I’m Clark Kent in disguise.”

  “Don’t you mean Tony Stark?”

  Josh looked taken back. “Tony Stark is Iron Man, honey. I think you’ve got your superheroes mixed up.” He shook his head in mock dismay.

  “Me? I think—” She stopped when she realized he was teasing her. “How about you be my Clark Kent by day and Tony Stark by night. I hear Tony has a way with the ladies . . .” She gently swatted him on the chest.

  “As you wish.” He winked.

  She laughed, and let him get away with adding yet another hero to the mix.

  “What do you think about adding a little sister or brother to Jack’s stories?” Josh said as he stepped back and fiddled with his hands.

  She could tell, just by that one gesture, that he was not only serious in his question but also nervous about her reaction.

  “Are you sure you want to tackle that much in this series? How many adventures could he go on with a pregnant mother? Or are you thinking of jumping ahead a few years so that the sibling can join him?” Adding a sibling might be complicating matters too much for Jack’s Adventures.

  “Well, I . . . I guess I really didn’t think it through.” He stared down at the floor, but Claire caught the way he struggled to hide his emotions. She stepped toward him and then paused.

  “Let’s think about it. We can talk to Julia about it and see how she feels,” she suggested.

  “Julia’s our editor, not the final arbiter.” His lips tightened.

  Claire knew she’d have to tread carefully here.

  “I know. But it’s still new, so let’s think on it a bit. Besides,” she said, linking her arm through his and walking him out of the baby’s room to avoid discussing work in there. “Remember how I mentioned starting a new series, but with a little girl?”

  Josh’s eyes lit up. “Zoe, right?”

  She nodded. “Or Hope. Or Sarah or even . . . what’s Tony Stark’s girlfriend’s name?”

  “Piper?” His eyes twinkled as if he knew her thoughts on the name.

  “Oh . . .” Her voice dropped. For some reason she thought it was Charlie. “Well, we can keep thinking.”

  “So you’re still planning to try your hand at writing it?” Her husband turned his face away, and Claire wondered if the idea bothered him.

  Jack was his baby. She drew the illustrations and helped with some plot ideas, but the words, emotions, and excitement that charmed their readers . . . that was all him. When he’d decided on a name, there’d been no hesitation or second thoughts. He knew right away he wanted to name the boy in their book after the son she’d given up.

  If she’d ever had any doubts about how Josh felt about her giving up a child for adoption, all her fears and worries were eased that day.

  “You wouldn’t mind? I’d need your help editing it and making sure it was okay, but I think I’d like to try.” She patted his arm. “Who knows? It may end up being a horrible mistake, and then you’ll have two projects to write.”

  They walked into the kitchen, where Claire got herself a glass of water flavored with sliced lemon.

  “Do you hear yourself right now? You don’t make horrible mistakes. It’s because of you Jack became such a hit—I would never have believed in myself enough to submit it. Plus, you’re the one with connections in the industry. You,” he said as he stepped toward her and grabbed her hands, “Mrs. Turner, are our magic maker. And our proof isn’t just Jack, but this little one as well.” He rubbed her flat stomach.

  “You did have a hand in it.”

  Josh straightened, his shoulders pulled back with pride. “I know. I’m pretty awesome too.” The look on his face at these moments always won her over. No matter what, her husband always knew how to make her smile.

  “Together we make an amazing team, if I do say so myself,” he said.

  “Yes.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. “We do.” They stood that way for a few moments, their lips locked, until her stomach growled.

  “Why don’t you go on outside? I have your pencils and notebook out there, and I’ll cut up some fruit?” Josh suggested. “You know, we need to celebrate this and tell everyone. How about inviting your mother over for dinner tonight?”

  “Whoa. Slow down there, proud papa. Let’s hold off on telling the world f
or a bit, okay?” Claire grabbed her water and headed out to the patio. Josh had indeed set everything up for her, even placing the umbrella at the right angle so the sun wouldn’t beat down on her colored crayons.

  Since they’d arrived home, she hadn’t been able to work on the illustrations for their books as much as she’d hoped. She practically slept her days away, but now she knew why.

  She was having a baby.

  All she wanted to do was sit back and let it sink in. Her heart swelled with joy at the thought. She was having a baby. There were butterflies in her stomach as she contemplated this utterly unexpected gift. She still couldn’t believe it. Ever since the end of the trip, she’d worked hard to be okay with the idea of being infertile, and she’d concentrated on moving forward with their lives. Even when Josh asked if she could be pregnant, she hadn’t dared to consider it.

  But he’d been right.

  Yes, they needed to celebrate.

  “I do need to tell my mom, though. She’s going to be over the moon.” Claire raised her voice so Josh could hear.

  “What if you surprise her with it? Tell her over dessert? Don’t tell her over the phone . . . I want to see her face when she finds out.”

  A glow of happiness spread from Claire’s heart. She couldn’t wait to tell her mother. Millie was going to be ecstatic.

  She wasn’t sure if she could keep the excitement out of her voice, so she sent her mother a text instead.

  Josh set a plate of cut fruit on the table, and then not so discreetly pushed the pages he’d been working on toward her.

  Claire smiled. She got the hint.

  Josh’s gift was creating unforgettable characters in the simplest of situations and having readers beg for more stories. Her passion was bringing those characters and situations to life through her illustrations. Before their Jack’s Adventures series, she’d been a sought-after illustrator, but now she took on only a few select clients.

  Her favorite project, hands down, was when she was working on Jack’s story.

  “So where are we today?” She looked through the pages and smiled.

  Paris. Jack was racing after what he thought was a lost puppy, tearing through the winding streets of Saint-Germain while his mother was on a walking tour of chocolate shops.

  She remembered that day so clearly, how Josh came up with the idea when they’d spotted a puppy after their own walking tour—a tour that entailed two stops at their favorite chocolatier.

  “Of all the cities we visited, Paris is the one I felt we didn’t have enough time in,” Claire said before hiding a yawn with her hand.

  “Then we’ll have to go back. Do you need to lie down again, or do you think you can manage to stay up until dinner?” There was a teasing tone in Josh’s voice, and Claire knew he was greatly relieved to finally know the reason for her exhaustion.

  “Let me work on this a little, and then I’ll go lie in the hammock for a bit.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  For the first time in a long time, she felt more than okay.

  “I’m perfect.”

  EIGHT

  CLAIRE

  Present day

  Claire couldn’t have stifled her yawn if she’d tried. Just when she was about to relax in the hammock, her mother appeared around the corner of the house.

  “Have one of the cookies I brought, love. David has a whole new selection of tea and biscuits this season to try. He said to say hi. I noticed a box with your name on it in the corner of his booth space at the market today.”

  David was an older gentleman Claire had known almost her whole life. He was also someone she swore her mother had a crush on.

  “You should ask him out on a date, Millie,” Josh called out through the kitchen window where he hovered.

  “I’ll do no such thing. If the man wants to let this”—she pointed to herself—“get away, then that’s his loss.”

  “I think he’s too scared you’ll turn him down, Mother.” Claire yawned again. Her whole body was tired now, and it was getting harder to lift her arms or to move her head.

  “Every man needs a little encouragement now and then, Millie.” Josh opened the door to the back patio and brought out a vase of fresh-cut flowers. He gave Claire’s cheek a peck and gently rubbed her shoulders.

  “Why don’t you go lie down? Millie can tell you a story before you fall asleep.” He blew a kiss in Millie’s direction.

  “Josh, love, Claire and I need some mother-daughter time.” The pointed look Millie shot Josh’s way had Claire chuckling.

  He let out an exaggerated sigh. “In other words, you’re telling me to get lost?”

  Millie smiled. “Exactly.”

  Claire watched their interaction with amusement. “Would you mind, hon? Maybe run to the store and get some vegetables for dinner tonight?”

  “Anything in particular you’re wanting?” There was a hopeful tone in Josh’s voice. Along with the exhaustion, she’d also had no appetite.

  Claire thought for a moment. “Maybe some olives and . . . bananas.”

  “Bananas? What happened to your absolute disgust for the mushy fruit?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. But I was dreaming of making an orange and banana smoothie, and now I really want one.”

  “Okay then. How about I make you a strawberry and banana smoothie in the meantime? I think we have some frozen bananas in the freezer.”

  Millie prattled on about the market, the new vendor booths, and the people who ran them. Heritage was a small tourist town located on the shores of Lake Huron, and it held a daily market in the town square, open a few hours a day during the spring months and then open for longer hours during the summer.

  Years ago, Millie had run a booth of fresh baked goods, like breads, buns, muffins, and tarts, and she still felt a connection to the people there, going daily to say hello and purchase something, anything, to help them out.

  “Why didn’t you pick up the box and bring it here?” Claire asked, interrupting her mom’s monologue.

  “Box? What box?”

  “The one David had in his booth.”

  Millie leaned forward and took another cookie from the tray. “Well, I did offer, but he said he misses you.”

  Claire nodded. “I know. I need to go see him.”

  “Did I ever tell you about when I first found out I was pregnant with you?” Millie asked.

  Claire caught her breath at her mother’s words.

  Millie stared out to the yard, oblivious to Claire’s reaction. “Most women, when they first get pregnant are sick. It’s usually the first symptom. That and swollen breasts.”

  “I don’t remember that.” She kept her voice steady. She wanted to stop her mom, to tell her that she was going to have a baby, but the memory of her first pregnancy was like a knife being thrust into her heart. She didn’t quite remember how she felt—she’d never been sick, that much she recalled, but she had been scared of her body’s changes and was angry at her parents.

  “There’s something I need to tell you.” Claire cleared her throat.

  Millie didn’t seem to hear her.

  “I always heard that morning sickness was a living hell, and I used to pray that I would never be that sick if I ever got pregnant. I watched enough friends rush to the bathroom at the slightest smell, and I never wanted that. I loved food too much.” She patted her stomach as a wry smile flashed across her face.

  Claire rolled her eyes. Her mother was tiny yet ate like a horse. There was never a time she wasn’t snacking. Whether it was nuts she kept in her purse or a fresh piece of fruit she grabbed off a counter, she was always nibbling on something.

  “Mom—”

  “But with you, things were different.” Millie cut her off. “I was the envy of all my friends. Did you know that? From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you to the moment you were born, you were easy. No morning sickness. No false labor pains. No prolonged labor either. A few pushes and you came out into t
he world—”

  “With a wail to announce my arrival that the queen herself could hear.” Claire finished for her. “You’ve told me this before.”

  Millie looked at her. “But I don’t think you’ve really heard what I’ve said.”

  Confused, Claire rubbed her face. “What am I missing then?”

  “I was never sick, but I was tired. Exhausted even. Which was very unusual for me, even then. I had to take time off work, and all I did was sleep. Your poor father had to cook his own meals, and more times than not, my friends would bring over a casserole to save him from his burnt creations. In fact, I only craved one thing. Bananas. It’s probably why you hated them so much. I swear,” Millie said with a giggle, “everything I ate had to have bananas. From eating them raw, to cooking with them . . .” She sighed. “It took me years to eat a banana after you were born.”

  Claire smiled.

  “Dad never could cook. Even macaroni and cheese was a challenge.” Claire leaned her head back in the chair and stared up into the blue sky. Obviously, Millie had something she needed to get off her chest. Once she was done, then Claire would share the news.

  Who knew it would be so hard to get a word in?

  “Yes, he was a lost cause when it came to making his own dinner. Thankfully, Josh isn’t like that. He’ll fend for himself just fine.” There was a satisfied tone in Millie’s voice, and Claire looked over at her.

  “Josh is pretty amazing.” So amazing that he actually suspected she could be pregnant before she did. Since when did a man know first?

  Millie’s head cocked to the side and she reached across the table to hold Claire’s hand.

  “Isn’t it funny how our bodies work?” Millie said. “No matter how hard we try or how much we want something, until our body is ready, there’s really nothing we can do about it.”

  Claire wouldn’t quite let herself believe she was pregnant. Not completely. After everything that had happened in her life, Claire had the nagging feeling that maybe she didn’t deserve to have all her dreams come true.