Craving

by Sofia Grey

  I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched Suki talking to Alex. He carried their sleeping baby with a look of such paternal pride that I felt overwhelmed. That could be me. It didn’t matter in the slightest if it was Gabriel’s baby, it would be our child. A few years ago this would have terrified me and sent me running for the hills, but now I reveled in it.

  With a great measure of reluctance, Suki took charge of Joseph, holding him carefully so Alex could attend to their other child.

  Their older boy looked to be maybe three years old. He’d come downstairs in brightly patterned pajamas, his dark hair ruffled and sticking out at odd angles.

  Alex lifted him to sit on the counter while he poured a drink of water, looking completely at home with two small children.

  I stayed silent as Suki gazed down at the infant she cradled.

  A clatter of footsteps sounded behind me, and I dragged my attention away to see Katherine, wild-eyed and pink cheeked as she burst into the hallway. “Josh!” She leaned over, breathless and I hurried to her side, conscious of Suki following me.

  “Katherine? What’s happened?”

  “It’s Nanette, the girl that went missing. She’s just phoned Dante.” Katherine flushed and dropped her voice to a whisper. “She said the people that, uh, attacked Ash, are coming for her.”

  “Where is he? Dante?”

  “That’s why I came to get you. He’s trying to call her back, but her phone’s switched off.” She hesitated, and then continued in a rush. “He says he’s going to start looking for her. I told him it wasn’t safe, but he won’t listen to me.”

  He appeared now, white faced and vibrating with tension, one hand gripping his phone, the other hanging in a fist at his side. “Josh, can we talk?” He bit out the words, and I nodded assent.

  “Let’s take a walk.” I squeezed Suki’s arm. “You stay here, babe. I’ll be back soon.”

  We strode together down the well-lit graveled driveway, stopping some distance from the house.

  Katherine trailed a few steps behind us, her anxiety draped around her like a heavy blanket.

  “Kitten told you Nan phoned?”

  I nodded.

  “If she’s in trouble, I can’t leave her. Not after what happened to Ash.” He glanced at Katherine, and then slid his eyes back to me. “I’m heading back to Manchester, and I wanted to thank you, mate. And to ask you something.”

  It all sounded rather final. “What?”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, his face assuming a shuttered expression. “Will you please tell Suki I’m sorry. I won’t be doing the camera test, but I’ll still try to get rid of Gabe for her. And…” He looked hard at Katherine. “Aww fuck it. Kitten, I’m sorry if I led you on, made you think there was more.”

  Her mouth dropped open.

  “It’s always been Nan for me. You were just a bit of a distraction when Nan hooked up with Ash.” Dante hammered out his words, brutal and toneless.

  Katherine swayed, and I instinctively slung an arm around her shoulders. Why is Dante being such an arse? I didn’t believe him for a minute. His silver eyes glittered under the lamps, but apart from that, he could have been reading a line from a bad movie. No emotion whatsoever.

  “It was fun while it lasted, babe. No hard feelings, eh?”

  Before I could say anything, Katherine struggled and then launched at Dante, her hands flailing. One loud slap rang out against his cheek.

  He made no attempt to defend himself.

  “No hard feelings? That’s the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve heard in ages.” Katherine’s voice sounded like a whip. “Go on then. Just don’t ever think of coming back to me. I was stupid to let you in my bed. Hell will freeze over before I do it again.”

  He sucked in a quick breath and turned to look into the distance while Katherine trembled, her breathing shallow and rapid. Dante cleared his throat and carried on as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “Will you please make sure Katherine gets to her Godparents okay?”

  She lunged forward to stand nose to nose with him. “You pathetic turd.” The words grated out of her, her voice cracking when she spoke. “Don’t pretend now that you care for me, it’s too late for that.” Her fists clenched by her sides. “Just fuck off, Dante. Crawl back into the gutter. It’s where you belong.”

  A muscle jumped in his cheek, the only movement I could see.

  A long moment passed with Katherine coiled and ready to strike, while Dante stared at her, drinking her in with his eyes.

  He gulped in a deep breath and clapped me round the shoulder. “Thanks,” he muttered. I didn’t know if he was thanking her or me.

  11.7 Dante

  I sped away from Josh’s little cottage as though the hounds of hell were chasing me. I couldn’t think about what I’d just done, I had to focus on Nan. It was better, much better, to have Kitten hating me—crawl back into the gutter—instead of mourning for me, but it still hurt like fuck. It’s where you belong. The roads were quiet and empty. I’d be back in Manchester in a couple of hours. I had to stop for fuel, and I bought a large coffee at the roadside services, drinking it as I walked back to my bike. I should have expected Eve to show up. I’d been calling for her since I left.

  She sat perched on a low fence and fiddled with her bootlaces, staring at me with a puzzled expression on her face. “You’re a jerk, Dante. What was all that crap about with Katherine?”

  “Leave it, Eve.”

  She scowled and blew a gum bubble at me.

  I slurped some more coffee, wishing it had a large whisky in it.

  “You lied to her, I get that. But why?”

  When I blinked, I saw Kitten’s face again. Saw the pain in her eyes, the disbelief and the anger. Don’t pretend now that you care for me, it’s too late for that. I swallowed and shuffled my feet, ignoring her question. “How long can you hold Gabe off for? I’ve got to go somewhere. And I don’t think I’m coming back.” I’d rehearsed my little speech, but still couldn’t focus on it. I rubbed my forehead and tried to stop thinking of Kitten. “I want to help Suki, get Gabe out of her life. Could you stay there? Without me?”

  She pouted, spat a ball of gum into her hand and stood up, strolling the few steps up to me. “I need to stay with you. Sorry.”

  “Shit.” I sculled the last of the coffee and tossed the cup into a nearby bin. “So much for that good idea.” Hunching my shoulders, I turned away as I tried to think. “What happens to you when I’ve gone?”

  “You’re talking as though you’re not coming back. Do you really think Alistair is going to kill you?”

  I froze, every muscle tense. “Did you hear me talking about him?”

  “Naw.” On silent feet she stepped in front of me and laid an icy hand on my cheek. “But I know that’s where you’re planning to go.”

  “You know Alistair?”

  Her pretty face wrinkled into a frown and cleared to a smile moments later. “Most of us know Alistair. As brokers go, he gets around a bit.”

  “Brokers?”

  She shrugged, as though I should understand the term. “He brokers deals. A kind of middleman, if you like.”

  Hearing footsteps behind me, I glanced over my shoulder to see a couple leaving the café. I waited for them to get out of earshot before I spoke, using the time to try to order my fractured thoughts. “You seem to know a lot more than I would expect for a new spirit, Eve. When did you die?”

  Her dark eyes held a hint of teasing. “This time? Just a few months ago.”

  O-kay. I stared at Eve afresh, my mind spinning in useless circles. I gestured with my hand. “Go on then.”

  “Well the first time was in a carriage accident.”

  “The first time?”

  A casual shrug. “It was a long time ago, there’s been a few more since then.”

  I shivered and remembered how she’d frightened Gabe’s spirit away. Way more powerful than a young new spirit should be. “Who are you?”

  This drew a
tight smile. “I’m Eve.”

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “What are you?”

  “I’m your new best friend.”

  I felt like banging my head against the nearest wall. Crossing my arms, I gave her my meanest stare. “I’m getting royally pissed off with this, Eve. Why can’t any of you ever give me a straight frigging answer?”

  “Why?” Not intimidated in the slightest, she marched right up to me and tilted her head slightly as she examined my face.

  I shuddered under her intense scrutiny. “Because, bird brain, there are rules for us. And one of them happens to be this stupid concept of so-called free will.” Moving back a fraction, she slid the gum into her mouth again, fixing me with a saccharine smile.

  I wasn’t fooled. “Keep talking.”

  “I can’t. Okay?”

  I’d faced Alistair twice. I’d had spirits swamping me in a blacked out cell. I wasn’t afraid of Eve. I scowled at her, tapping my foot as though bored. “I’m hearing noises, but I’m not listening.” I lifted one hand and gazed a moment, then scratched at the nail. “Are you going to tell me something useful? I can just ignore you, you know.”

  “Jeez.” I heard her gum popping but kept my attention well away from her. “Okay, Tat-Boy. I’ve cut my own deal, right? There’s something I want, and in return there’s something I have to do. And that’s where you come in.”

  I blinked and looked back at her. She stuck her tongue out at me and returned my glare.

  “You did a deal with Alistair?”

  A sigh. “No. Like I said, he’s one of the brokers. This was someone else—and before you ask, I’m not going to tell you the dirty details. But I’m sticking with you for the moment, so get used to it.”

  She’d helped with Gabe, and Ingrid seemed to trust her. God help me, I needed someone in my corner right now. Another image of Kitten burned through my brain, and I swallowed as I tried to control the pounding of my heart. Caffeine palpitations. Yeah right. I’d been away from her for an hour and it felt as though one of my limbs was missing. I realized Eve was staring at me, and I nodded. “Sure. Let’s go.”

  “Ahem.” One icy finger touched my chin. “Now you tell me why you were such an asshole.”

  I haven’t shed a tear since Gran died, so why do I now want to cry like a little girl? My jaw felt tight as I tried to reply. “She’s too impulsive.” She left her home because she thought her father lied about me. “She keeps trying to look after me.” She took me back to her place and fed me, then stayed up all night while I slept in her bed. “I don’t want her getting fond of me.” She called me her fallen angel.

  Eve’s voice was soft. “Sure you’re not just running away?”

  “I can’t do what Alistair wants. I couldn’t live with myself if I gave him Josh. And… I won’t put her in danger.” I love her.

  I closed my eyes and allowed myself to picture Kitten smiling at me, her amber eyes trusting, to see the love reflected back at me. God. Kitten. The icy touch on my chin turned into a light slap, and I opened my eyes, startled.

  “You are an asshole, but a misguided one. Haven’t you figured it out yet? Alistair doesn’t want Josh. Think about it, Tat-Boy.” She sounded angry. “Stop wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself, and use that pea-sized brain.” Eve took a deep breath and shook her head. “Give me strength,” she muttered under her breath. Her fingers danced down my sleeve, to pause a few inches from my wrist. “What else could Alistair possibly want? Eh?”

  I frowned, mesmerized by the giant bubble she blew and popped all over her chin. She nodded toward her hand, and I stared.

  Fucking. Hell. I was right.

  “He wants Josh’s Talisman?”

  Chapter

  ~12~

  12.1 Katherine

  I dreamed about Dante’s little spirit friend. After lying in bed for hours, just staring at the ceiling, I must have eventually drifted off and then found myself back on the beach, with the goth-girl sitting on the sand beside me.

  “It’s Eve, isn’t it?”

  “You got it.” We sat in a companionable silence, gazing across the water at the sun, low in the sky. It felt normal, in the way dreams often do. When she turned to me and murmured, “Let’s go back,” I hesitated.

  I didn’t want to wake up alone in bed. I wanted to stay here, where I could pretend Dante hadn’t left. Again.

  Moments later, we stood at the edge of Alex’s graveled driveway, watching the frantic conversation being replayed. This time, I’d become an observer. I stared in fascination at my image, my look of fury when I slapped Dante on the face. Relived the humiliation of being told I was just a distraction. The arrogant fuckwit. I seethed some more. Later I’d feel sick with emptiness, but in that moment I was beyond angry.

  Eve placed her hand on my arm, and I watched Dante striding from us, hurrying to go to Nanette. He couldn’t wait to get away. Josh’s arm around my shoulders held me in place. I’m not sure if he thought I was going to run after him and make an even bigger fool of myself.

  “Let’s just do that once more.” Her voice soft and soothing. “Let’s see how it could have gone.”

  Weird. Like jumping a DVD to a certain point, the scene in front of us changed back to where we’d come in. Dante’s earnest speech to Josh. His harsh dismissal of me, and of our relationship. Only this time, it played out differently.

  Dante’s cool voice. “It’s always been Nan for me. You were just a bit of a distraction when Nan hooked up with Ash.” A slight hesitation. “It was fun while it lasted, babe. No hard feelings, eh?”

  This time, my voice was equally cool. “Don’t try to bullshit me, Angel. Nan’s in trouble, and she’s asked for your help. I know you have to go to her. I want to go with you.”

  The scene froze. Eve led me down the path and walked up to Dante. “Look at him.” I heard an affectionate note. “He’s an idiot, but his heart’s in the right place.” She spun to face me, a smile dancing over her black-painted lips. “If you wanted to do something risky and didn’t want your girlfriend getting caught up, what would you do?”

  I scowled. “I’d tell her what I was doing and ask her to trust me.”

  “Ooh, harsh.” She skimmed her hands over his shoulders, and then glanced up at me. “Trust is such a small word… and such a huge concept.” She arched one eyebrow in a quizzical expression. “After all, if you were engaged to be married but had no intention of going through with it, you’d tell him. Wouldn’t you?”

  “Now just hang on a minute—”

  I jerked awake, lurching upright in bed with my palms damp and my heart racing. God. It’d been so real.

  12.2 Josh

  I spent another restless night. The Grand Canyon had opened, and a massive rift now lay between Suki and myself, pressing like a dead weight on my chest. She was scared. It didn’t take an idiot to see that, and yeah, the circumstances were not ideal, but still. It was pretty fucking amazing news. She just needs time to adjust. I hoped I was right.

  Opening my eyes to a still dark room, I realized I lay alone in bed. No sound from the en-suite bathroom and as my eyes adjusted, I could see the door open and the darkness beyond it. I reached for my phone to check the time: 5:45. Too damn early to get up, but I worried about Suki.

  I found her in the kitchen with Katherine. They both nursed almost-empty coffee mugs and sat with their heads close together. I coughed in the doorway and smiled at their surprise. “Is this the insomniacs society? Or have I walked into Coffee Addicts Anonymous?” Joining them at the table, I rested my hands lightly on Suki’s shoulders and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Morning, babe,” I murmured. Moving to the counter, I picked up the cold coffee jug. “Either of you like a fresh one?”

  They both wore shadows beneath their eyes, tiredness blurring their features, but Katherine buzzed with a nervous energy. Her fingers tapped the mug, sifted through her hair, rubbed her eyebrow, and then returned to the mug. “I’ve been thinking,” she announced. “That wh
ole thing with Dante, where he dumped me.” She swallowed and fiddled some more with her hair. “He’d just taken a call from Nanette and was in a flat panic. He thinks she’s in danger, she quite probably is, and, well, I don’t believe it. I think he wanted to stop me from going with him.”

  I finished rinsing the coffee pot and turned to face her. “So by callously dumping you in the cruelest way, he’d guarantee you’d stay out of trouble?”

  She nodded.

  I’d wondered at that too, and figured he must have a good reason for it. “Sounds feasible.” My focus slid to Suki, her face in profile. “If you were at risk, babe, I’d do whatever was necessary to protect you.” This drew a tentative smile, enough for her to catch my hand, squeezing the fingers in a brief acknowledgement.

  Once I’d made and poured fresh coffee and claimed the seat next to Suki, I asked Katherine the blunt question. “So what are you going to do?”

  “I’ve sent him a text and left a voicemail, but there’s no reply.” She shrugged. “It’s still early, he may be asleep. And whether he replies or not, I’m going to head back to Manchester and help him.”

  Suki and I exchanged a worried glance. “We’re talking about a knife-wielding maniac here. If Dante thought it was too dangerous for you to get involved, maybe he has a point?”

  She scowled at my words. “All the more reason for me to help him. Don’t forget, someone’s already trying to set him up for Ash’s attack.”

  I reached out and laid my hand across Suki’s. I had a feeling she wouldn’t like my suggestion. “Count me in. Any ideas where to start?”

  The atmosphere in the kitchen changed. We were energized. Katherine’s relieved smile lit up her face, and she nodded firmly. “Yes. Ink City is where Ash worked as a tattoo artist, and I think Nanette worked there too. And then there’s that nightclub, Armageddon. I’m just going to start nosing around and asking questions.”

  Suki joined in. “Do you know her? Nanette?”