Lion's Quest: Dual Wield: A LitRPG Saga

by Michael-Scott Earle

  “Can you hear what the waiter is saying to him?” I asked Allurie. The woman looked at me, turned her head a bit so that her pointed right ear faced in that direction, and then she made an innocent smile.

  “Is this to your liking, sir? If you need anything, please let us know. Oh! This looks delicious. I’ll let you know if I need anything else, oh I would actually love some sparkling wine and some juice. I know it is midday, but I like to mix them together as a treat! Oh, no problem, sir. I will get that for you right now.” Allurie made her voice sound deeper when she spoke as the half-orc.

  “Ugh. This guy is buying champagne with my money?” I groaned as I saw him dig into his meal. I couldn’t really make out his face from where I sat, but I saw him lift up a fork full of rare meat and shovel it into where I thought his maw would be. He’d actually taken down his hood in the restaurant, and I saw that his hair was surprisingly well groomed.

  “What is champagne?” Allurie asked.

  “Different word for sparkling wine. Never mind.”

  “Hello, I’ll be your waiter. Can I start you off with drinks today?” a gnome man asked as he stepped to our table.

  “Ohh! I’d like tea, and water, and tomato juice,” Allurie said after I gestured to her.

  “I’ll take water, and beer,” I said. I wasn’t even looking at the waiter. The damn half-orc was now cracking open a lobster and was just going to town on the butter soaked meat. Fuck this guy.

  “Leo?” Allurie’s voice pulled me away from my rage.

  “Huh?”

  “What kind of beer would you like, sir? We have light, malty, bitter, or dark?”

  “Bitter,” I growled as I glared at the half-orc’s back.

  I heard the waiter say something about the lunch specials, and Allurie asked him something about the dish named “The Salted Sea Bass,” but I wasn’t really paying attention to them. The half-orc’s waiter arrived with a bottle of the sparkling wine and displayed it to the asshole like it was a piece of treasure. I saw the back of the half-orc’s head nod, and then the waiter poured it with a delicate movement.

  “I’ll return with your drinks in a few minutes, and then take your order,” the gnome said before he walked away.

  “What are you going to eat, Leo?” Allurie asked.

  “I’m going to go chew on this asshole. Stay here,” I said to her as I rose from my seat.

  “Leo, you look really mad. Maybe you would feel better after you ate lunch? Come back, please,” Allurie pleaded, but I ignored her and walked across the room to where the half-orc sat.

  I stood on his left-hand side and cleared my throat a bit so that he would notice me. The man was about to slide a piece of steak into his fanged jaw, and he kind of flinched a little when I surprised him.

  “Ah! You startled me!” He turned to face me as he put down his fork. I had thought that the man would try to run, or try to fight me, or pretend that he didn’t know me, but his handsome face showed that he did recognize me, and he smiled with a wide array of sharpened lower teeth.

  “Ahh! Leo! My good man! I am so happy to see you today!” he said with a delighted series of gasps.

  “Ummm. Huh?” I tried to keep the confusion off of my face, but I knew I failed.

  “Are you here alone? That is unfortunate; a good looking guy like you should have a gaggle of women following him around everywhere. Will you join me for lunch? We didn’t get enough time to speak to each other yesterday. How did Switt treat you?”

  “I’m actually here with my friend,” I said as I gestured back to the table where Allurie said.

  “Tell her to come over. I’d love for you both to join me.”

  “Uhhhh. I’m kind of confused,” I admitted.

  “Oh, it is easy to do.” The half-orc twisted his broad shoulders around in the chair and then gestured to Allurie, “Yoo-hoo! Young miss! Come join us please!” He shouted loudly, and everyone in the restaurant stopped their conversation to stare at him.

  Allurie skipped over to us, and then stood next to me.

  “Wow, she is a pretty one. I love her eyes and silver hair. They say that having an elf around is good luck. What’s your name, Dear?” he asked my friend.

  “It is Allurie! I really love cleaning and helping, and Leo. Isn’t he wonderful?” she said as she hugged my right arm.

  “That he is! Why don’t you both sit down and join me for lunch?”

  “We would love to!” Allurie sat next to the man and then smiled at me.

  “No, wait. You stole two gold from me,” I said as I crossed my arms.

  “Stole? From you?” the half-orc gasped, and then blinked his eyes. They were a bright yellow color, and kind of reflected the sun coming through the windows of the expensive restaurant. “I don’t understand.”

  “At the door of the Adventurers Guild, you told me the membership fee was two gold,” I growled.

  “And it is, ohhhh. Wait a darn second. Ha!” he laughed as he slapped the table very loudly. “I bet it was Switt! That scoundrel! I bet he told you he didn’t know me. That trickster!”

  “Well, yeah. He did actually say that.”

  “Ohhh. That guy. Leo, I’m afraid you’ve gotten placed smack dab in the middle of one of our pranks.”

  “I have?”

  “Yes, sir. We actually do have a two gold membership, and I collect it from everyone that passes into the guild hall. Switt knows this, I’m sure he was just trying to make you mad at me. That sneaky old bastard. I love that guy.” The half-orc let out another laugh and shook his head.

  “So there actually is a membership fee?”

  “By my love of the Light, there is,” the half-orc swore as he put his fist to his chest. “Switt was just teasing you. You know, I feel dreadful about all this, I’m gonna pay you back, here you go.” The man reached to his waist, and I readied myself to fight in case he pulled one of his weapons. Instead, he produced two gold coins and held them out to me.

  “Uhh. Thank you,” I said as I took the coins from his big fingers.

  “No problem. Don’t worry about the membership. I’ll tell Switt to give you a pass.”

  “Shit, I feel awful now about being so angry with you. I’m sorry,” I said with a bow of my head. It was the truth, this half-orc seemed to be a really nice guy, and I had been wrong about him.

  “No worries. You can make it up to me by joining me for lunch. Won’t you take a seat?” He gestured to his right across the table from Allurie.

  “Yes. Of course. Let me grab my pack first,” I said as I smiled at the man.

  I put my coins in my pocket, walked back to my backpack, and then returned to his table. The half-orc and Allurie were deep in a conversation about how many people they each thought it would take to clean the dishes of the restaurant after lunch, and I found myself chuckling along with the green-skinned man.

  “Allurie is just so cute; I want to pinch those pretty cheeks. May I?” he asked me.

  “You don’t need to ask me, she is her own person,” I said with a shrug.

  “Oh yes! You may!” She blushed when his big fingers gently squeezed her creamy skin at her cheek.

  “Ahh. I was once in love with an elf girl. She took good care of me,” the man said with a sigh.

  “What happened?” Allurie asked with sudden concern.

  “I had to go away for work, and then another job after that. ‘Tis the life of an adventurer. I returned to her after many years, but she had a family, and I left without her knowing I was back in town.”

  “That is so sad,” Allurie said with a trembling lower lip.

  “I like to think that she found her true love, and I’ll find mine some day. Life has a way of working out like that.”

  “Leo is my true love!” Allurie almost shouted the words.

  “Then you better keep him close, and tell him your feelings every day,” the man said as he leaned in toward the girl.

  “She doesn’t need to do—”

  “Ahh! I am so rude
!” the half-orc interrupted me. I have all this food that I must share.” He gestured to the four plates of seafood, salad, bread, and grilled beef. “Let me be your host, please. Allow me.” He stood from his chair, and then draped a napkin around Allurie’s neck. The elf girl giggled as he arranged the white piece of cloth around her shoulders.

  “You really don’t need to—” I tried to say as the big green-skinned man moved toward me with a clean napkin in his hands.

  “Oh, I insist. I feel so terrible about the mix-up. Allow me to take care of you today, dear friend Leo.”

  “Ahh okay,” I sighed as the man put the cloth over the front of my chest. He gave it a gentle push to tuck it into the front of my shirt, and then he sat back in his chair.

  “I’ve brought your drinks. Have you moved tables?” our gnome waiter asked as he walked to our new spot.

  “Absolutely they have, these are two of my bestest friends in the entire world. Please treat them with the love and respect that they deserve,” the half-orc said as he held his arms out to Allurie and me.

  “We just me—” I began to say but the half-orc put his large hand on my shoulder.

  “They are darling people, please treat them well,” he said to the waiter.

  “We will, sir,” the gnome said as he set down our drinks. “Would you two like to order?”

  “You both are welcome to share what I have so far,” the half-orc said graciously.

  “That’s very kind of you, but we can order our own food.” I turned to the gnome. “Please start with the lady,” I said as I grabbed my menu.

  “I would like the salted salmon, please. With the rice and buttered vegetables.”

  “Excellent choice. For you, sir?” the gnome asked as he turned to me.

  “The steak and spicy potatoes. Rare,” I said. “Is there a way you can split the bill?”

  “Ahh, Leo! A man after my own heart. That was what I ordered,” the half-orc declared with a big smile as he pointed to his half eaten plate. Then he turned to the waiter. ”No need to split the bill, we are one big happy family, we even order the same food!”

  “It looked splendid,” I replied as I returned his smile.

  “Excellent, sir. I will come back with your meal promptly since your friend has already started eating,” the gnome said before he spun toward the back room.

  “Would you like a bite? Here, let me cut one off for you,” the half-orc said as he cut a chunk off with the serrated knife on the table.

  “Thanks,” I said as I took the fork from him. The steak tasted as delicious as Kobe beef, and I gave him a surprised look.

  “I know. It is excellent. This is my favorite place to dine. I’ve been coming here for three or four years. Can I pour you both some bubbly? Ahh, I need new glasses.” He looked around, and both Allurie and I matched his movement.

  “I don’t see a waiter. I’m sure one will be around in a moment.”

  “Bah. I hate waiting. I’m going to run back into the kitchen and grab two glasses, then we can toast to our new friendship,” he said and rose from his chair.

  “Hooray for new friends!” Allurie said as she sipped on her glass of water.

  “Be back in two halves of a second.” the muscular man said as he stomped past me. I watched him walk into the back door of the restaurant, and then I turned to Allurie.

  “I was wrong about him. He’s really nice. I felt regret for thinking he stole the money from me.”

  “You are so nice, Leo. I can understand why you would be angry when someone took advantage of you.”

  “Yeah. I used to have a friend that would help watch over me. He always used to say that.”

  “Say what?” Allurie asked as she tilted her head.

  “That I was too accommodating, and people would take advantage of me. He also said that was part of my charm.” My chest ached a bit when I thought about Sal.

  “Oh, you are very charming, and handsome. I feel like my heart is going to explode sometimes when I see you, but I understand that you love men, and I’m—”

  “It’s okay, we don’t need to talk about that right now. Let’s just enjoy the atmosphere,” I said as I motioned to the nice dining room.

  “Oh. I’ll enjoy all the sights and atmosphere,” the lovely elf said as she fluttered her eyelashes at me.

  “Shouldn’t he be back by now?” I asked. I looked at the back door, and the gnome waiter came through as if on cue. I caught a glimpse of the kitchen beyond him, but I didn’t see the half-orc.

  “Excuse me,” I called to our waiter, but he was carrying another tray of food and made an “I’ll be with you quickly” motion with his mouth.

  “Maybe he had to go to the bathroom? He did eat a lot of food.” Allurie shrugged, but my stomach was starting to chill. I kept looking at the kitchen door, and the gnome waiter that was taking way too long to deliver food to the table next to us.

  “Sorry about the delay, sir. Your food should be out short—ahh there it is,” the gnome made a small clapping motion with his hand and pointed at the two human women carrying our trays of food. They set the salmon down in front of Allurie and the steak down in front of me.

  “Our friend, the half-orc, walked back into the kitchen. Did you see him?” I asked the gnome.

  “Oh yes. Terribly sorry to hear about that.”

  “About what?” I asked, and my stomach dropped even more.

  “That he had to leave so suddenly. He seemed very upset about it.”

  “He just walked out the back?” I growled as I stood.

  “Yes… He said you were taking care of the bill, and that—”

  “What? He said I am taking care of the bill? I don’t even know the guy!”

  “You don’t? He said the both of you were his best friends when I brought your drinks.” The gnome looked distraught, and he motioned for the older woman at the front of the restaurant to come over.

  “No. I don’t know him. He just invited us to join him. Can’t you put it on his tab? He said he’s been coming here for a few years.” I crossed my arm, and noticed that Allurie was eating her lunch without a care.

  “He’s come in the last three or four days, but he isn’t a regular,” the gnome sighed.

  “Is there a problem here?” the hag woman asked with disdain.

  “You’re damn right there is a problem here. That asshole just left and expected us to pay for his bill.” I was trying to keep my voice low, but I was having a problem controlling my rage. Fuck me, that green-skinned dick bag had tricked me twice now. Damn it.

  “He said that these two were his best friends,” the gnome pleaded with the older woman, “and that they were going to pay for his bill.”

  “Am I going to have to call the city guards?” The woman fixed her mean eyes on me, and I almost told her to go pound sand.

  But I didn’t.

  The issues in Cutno had made my life an acute pain. I needed to play by the rules in Arnicoal if I wanted to have a career here. The last thing I needed was the city guard looking for me.

  “Fine, I’ll pay. How much was his meal?” I sighed and looked at the sparkling wine and plates of half-eaten food that the muscular man had left. This was going to hurt.

  “Including yours; six gold.”

  “Ahem, the sparkling wine,” the gnome said as he pointed to the bottle on the table.

  “Seven gold,” the woman corrected.

  “Fine,” I growled as I reached into the pocket where I kept some of my gold.

  My pocket was empty.

  I moved my hand to my other pants pocket, and then to the one in my shirt. I recalled putting all of my coins in my right pocket, though. Had I dropped them?”

  “Fucking shit,” I moaned when I remembered the conversation with the half-orc. He had given me the two gold coins, then I had put them in my right pocket, then the man had helped tie the napkin around my neck. He must have taken the gold from me then.

  “I’m guessing you don’t have the payment,” th
e old woman seethed at me.

  “No wait, I have some more gold in my backpack,” I said as I looked under my chair.

  My backpack was gone.

  “Uhh. Have you seen my pack? It was under the chair here?” I kneeled down under the tablecloth, but I didn’t see it hiding anywhere.

  That green-skinned asshole must have taken it. Damn. Damn. Damn. Son of a bitch.

  “My patience is wearing thin. Do you have the money, or do I need to call the guards?” the woman growled.

  “Okay, I’ve lost my money. Actually, not lost it. That half-orc stole it. I can go get you the gold now. If you let me leave, I’ll promise to come right back and bring it to you.”

  “I’m calling the guards,” the woman said.

  “No, wait, really. I’ll give you my address. If you want someone can come with me. I have the money,” I lied, I was now completely broke, and I was going to have to borrow it from Artus.

  “We’ll need collateral,” the woman asked as she crossed her arms.

  “Okay. Yeah, whatever you need. Umm, I don’t have much.” I looked down at my clothes and winced when I saw my broadsword. Ugh. I didn’t want to have to leave it with them, but I didn’t want to skip out on paying for this meal, even if I had been swindled, it wasn’t these people’s fault.

  “Leave her,” the woman pointed to Allurie. “I need a dishwasher. If you don’t return with the money, I’ll just keep her, or call the city guards.”

  “Uhhh, can you do that?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. It seemed like the hag woman was talking about slavery.

  “I can if you don’t hurry up and bring me the money, or you can face the city guards.”

  “I’ll be right back,” I said to Allurie. The beautiful elf girl nodded at me, and then I ran out of the restaurant toward Artus’ house.

  Chapter 12

  “Ha! You got duped three times! Ahhh, Leo,” Gratia shook her head. “That is why you shouldn’t go anywhere alone.”

  “I was with him!” Allurie stuck her tongue out at the dwarf woman.

  “Exactly my point. Ha!”

  “You aren’t actually helping, Gratia,” I sighed. I had just gotten back from the restaurant with Allurie. Artus had lent me the money without question, and Gratia had just returned from looking at a spot for her new workshop.