The Secrets That We Keep

by Lucero, Isabel

  I don’t know what to say so, we both sit there in silence for a few minutes.

  “I couldn’t bring myself to kill you, Annabella. I still loved you. So after a while, he brought somebody else in to help me search for you, not knowing that I wasn’t searching on purpose. I didn’t want to find you. I couldn’t tell Cyrus that though.”

  “Cyrus?” I ask.

  “The guy who was here earlier.”

  I nod and he continues.

  “Yeah, so as Cyrus is actually doing his job and searching for you, I’m doing the opposite and trying to make sure we don’t find you. I knew that I needed to stay working with him because if I gave up, I thought he’d find you faster.”

  “So how did you find me?”

  “Cyrus and I went out one night just to let loose and have a few drinks. We just so happened to be in the same club you and your friends were in. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you. I tried to get Cyrus to leave so that he wouldn’t see you but he did, right as you were about to leave. I tried to act like it wasn’t you, but he knew better. We had been given a picture of you and we looked at it almost every single day for six years. He had it in his car, so he knew it was you. Anyway, your friend happens to come up to the bar and start talking and flirting with us and Cyrus began asking all kinds of questions and she ended up telling us which town you lived in.”

  “So you guys looked for me for six years straight?” I ask.

  “Well, kind of. I mean, it wasn’t consistent searching, day and night. We just tried to look you up and asked around at your old neighbor’s houses and asked your friends if they knew where you went and stuff like that. After the trial, I knew you moved out of your parent’s house, but I didn’t know where you moved to. Nobody did. You just disappeared.”

  “Okay, so where does Julian come into this whole thing?” I ask, wanting to know how they hell they knew my husband was a killer and why they would get somebody else to do their work for them.

  “Who?”

  I scoff. “Really? Julian, my husband. How do you know he’s a killer?”

  “I don’t know anybody named Julian,” Lucas answers. “The killer I know said his name was Michael.”

  “Michael?” I ask, and he nods in response. “So why the fuck do you think my husband is a killer? His name’s not Michael!” I yell, pissed off that they got this completely wrong.

  “I saw a picture of you two together in your purse. The guy in that picture looks like the guy Cyrus and I, well Cyrus, hired to kill you.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? So a picture you saw of Julian, in a dark club no less, looks like a guy you hired to kill me?”

  “Cyrus hired him. I didn’t want you dead, Annabella. Remember that. I’ve been going along with this, hoping to protect you, even though I thought you killed Tony. But when I saw that you were married to a fucking killer I thought maybe…I didn’t know you at all. I thought maybe you and him were working together or something. I thought maybe he’d want us dead for even approaching him about killing you. I don’t fucking know.”

  I stand up and move to the other side of the room. “I can’t believe this shit! You fucking kidnap me because you think I’m working with a hit-man and what? That made you decide you wanted to kill me?”

  He stands up and starts walking towards me. I put my hands up, warning him to stay back.

  “No! I wasn’t going to kill you. When I found out that you were living with a man who was hired to kill you, I had to get you out of there. I couldn’t let you go back there!”

  “Wait, so you thought I was working with him, and then you thought that he’d still kill me? You make no fucking sense! You’re a complete idiot.”

  “Look, I know it doesn’t make sense. I was so fucking confused and worried and pissed off, I just knew I needed to bring you here until we figured it all out. Then fucking Cyrus barges his ass in here and sees you and thinks I brought you here to kill you!”

  “Where is this Cyrus?” I ask.

  He shifts uncomfortably and looks away. “He wanted me to kill you, I couldn’t do it. I’ve been able to keep you safe all these years and he wanted me to walk in there and kill you. I couldn’t pretend any longer. I couldn’t pretend that’s what I wanted too, that you were just some nobody who needed to die. We started fighting and he pulled out his gun and aimed it at me. I was able to wrestle it away and I shot him. I didn’t kill him, but he ran off and I’m sure he’s on his way to tell Dante all about it. We need to get out of here, Annabella.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “We need to leave Chicago. Go somewhere else. Dante will be looking for both of us now.”

  “I can’t leave, Lucas. Julian isn’t even the killer you made him out to be. He’s probably at home worried sick about me. I can’t leave him.”

  “Bell, he is a killer! I know he is. You have to trust me. You cannot go back to him. He will kill you! Please, let’s just go and start over somewhere new. Maybe we can get to know each other again.”

  “Lucas, this is crazy. I can’t just run away like that. I have to talk to Julian first. I know this all has to be some sort of misunderstanding. You come too, and we’ll figure it all out.”

  “I’m not going to see him. When he sees me; he’s going to kill me. There’s no fucking way I’m letting you go back to him, either.”

  “Why would he kill you?” I ask him.

  “Why the fuck wouldn’t he?”

  “Because he’s not a killer, Lucas! I’m telling you, you have this all wrong. You obviously misidentified him.”

  Lucas lets out a frustrated growl. “Dammit, Annabella. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to trust me on this. I can’t lose you.”

  He’s gripping my hands in his and I can see the pleading and sincerity in his eyes as he stares at me. It’s obvious he’s worried about me, but I just don’t think he has anything to worry about. Julian isn’t a killer and I know that once I go back home, Julian will be happy to see me safe and back in one piece. I just need to figure out a way to convince Lucas to let me go. He’s dead set on us running away together, but I can’t just leave like that.

  “Lucas look, I know you’re worried, but I can’t run away with you. I have to stay here and be with my husband. I’m sorry.”

  He lets go of my hands and moves away from me, obviously hurt. “Annabella, even if you believe that your husband isn’t out to kill you, Dante will send somebody else to do it. You aren’t safe here and I can’t stay here to protect you anymore. I have to leave to protect myself. I want you to come with me because then I will be able to protect you. If you leave here and go home to him, this will be the last time you will see me.” He looks terribly sad and hurt when he’s finished talking.

  Thinking about never seeing Lucas again does hurt my heart. Good or bad, he’s been a big part of my life and will always be in my memories. I know now that he’s been trying to protect me all these years, and knowing he’s been so dedicated and concerned about my well-being makes me care about him more. I’m not in love with Lucas anymore though, but I will always have love for him. We have a history and a connection that most people will never understand. He was my first love and at one time I would have done anything for him. I just can’t leave my husband and run away with him like this. I will miss him but if he needs to leave to be safe, then of course I want him to do just that.

  “I appreciate everything you have ever done for me Lucas. I want you to know that.” His head drops like he knows I’m about to let him down. “I can’t believe that you’ve been out there trying to save my ass all these years. I will forever be thankful for that. I do wish you would have been honest with me about everything from the beginning though. I know you probably thought I couldn’t handle it, but I’m stronger than I look.”

  “I know, Bell,” he mutters.

  “You will always hold a special place in my heart and I will never forget about you. I understand you need to get away in ord
er to save yourself and I wish I could protect you the way you’ve protected me. I can talk to Julian about all this you know? I’m sure he can help.”

  “How could he possibly help?” he snarls.

  “He works with the FBI.”

  Lucas is obviously shocked by that statement. His eyebrows rise and his eyes widen a bit.

  “He’s FBI?” he asks.

  “Yes, he’s an investigative specialist.”

  This time Lucas’ brows furrow and he seems to be contemplating something.

  “Bell, I’m about to make a call real quick, okay? Stay right here and I’ll be right back so we can talk about something else. Okay?” he asks again.

  I give him a small nod and he walks towards one of the bedrooms down the hall. He closes the door and I know that this is probably my only chance to leave. It’ll be easier this way anyway, no emotional goodbyes, no fighting about whether this is the smart thing to do or not. I just know I need to leave. I’m only in a long T-shirt and have no shoes on but I don’t have time to think about that right now. I run out of the house, down the dark street and hail a cab. He looks at me funny when I climb in but doesn’t say anything. I’m sure he thinks this is some sort of walk of shame type thing. I give him my address and know that I’ll be able to pay him once I get there and get money from the house. I’m finally on my way back to my husband.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I’m almost home and the nerves are starting to take over my body. The doubts are slowly starting to sink in and I’m questioning whether this is indeed a good idea. Maybe I should have found a phone and called Julian first to see what he had to say and see if I could gauge his mood. It’s too late now, though. The cab is approaching my house and the first thing I notice is that there are no cops here investigating my disappearance. Maybe he called them earlier though and they’ve already been by to take a report. I see a light on upstairs so I know he’s still awake.

  I tell the cabbie to wait and I’ll be back with some money for him. I run to Julian’s car because I know he keeps money in the glove compartment for emergencies. After grabbing enough, I run back and pay the cab driver and then run to the front door. It’s locked so I have to ring the doorbell and wait for Julian to answer.

  After a minute or so I can hear him approaching the door and my heart starts to race with nervousness and excitement. He yanks the front door open and the look on his face is full of anger.

  “I told you…” he doesn’t finish when he notices it’s me standing there. He takes in my appearance silently and I start fiddling with the hem of the shirt I’m wearing.

  “Bella,” he whispers.

  I step inside and throw my arms around him. He hesitates momentarily before wrapping his arms around my waist.

  “I didn’t know if I’d see you again. What happened?” he asks.

  I’m suddenly overcome with emotion and start crying on his shoulder.

  “Sshh, it’s okay, come on, let’s go sit on the couch,” he says gently.

  He guides me to the couch and sits down next to me with his arm around my shoulders, pulling my face to his chest where I continue to sob.

  “Tell me what happened,” he demands.

  I lift my head from his chest and wipe the tears from my face before I relay everything that has happened.

  “I was taken from the nightclub and in the apartment I was kept in were two men, one of which had a gun and threatened to kill me.”

  I pause again, trying to get my emotions in check because my chest is still heaving from my uneven breaths.

  “Was it the guys you said were following you?” he asks in a way that tells me he already knows it was.

  I nod feebly.

  “Did they do anything to you? Did they hurt you at all?” he asks, his anger rising.

  “No, I’m fine. I was just terrified. I was sure I was about to die.”

  “Do you know their names?”

  I hesitate momentarily not sure if I want to fully disclose everything about Lucas. I know now that he wasn’t going to hurt me and that he had been protecting me, but I don’t know how Julian will take that. I will also have to let Julian know about the secret I’ve kept hidden all these years.

  “Uh, I know one of them was named Cyrus,” I say.

  Julian lets out a low grunting noise. “And Gage?” he asks.

  “Who?” I ask completely confused. Gage? Does he think Lucas is Gage?

  “I know Cyrus, and I know he works with someone named Gage.”

  “Wait, how do you know these people? Are you saying that you recognized them from the photos and didn’t do anything about it?” I ask incredulously.

  “Annabella, I know them because I’ve investigated both of them. They are bad people and they don’t like me because I’ve told them that I’d be happy to see them in jail if they kept up with the shit they’ve been involved in. Unfortunately, I didn’t have solid evidence, but I was still watching them, waiting for them to slip up.”

  My heart stops. Was Lucas lying to me? Was he trying to get back at Julian somehow by making me leave him because I thought he was something he wasn’t? Was I really just a pawn in a game I was unaware of?

  “I’ve been trying to track them down, but obviously they found you before I could get to them. I told one of my coworkers to give them a message for me and he said he was able to but I was still hoping to get to them in person. I’m sorry that I didn’t find them before they got to you. This was them trying to send me a message to leave them alone.”

  I’m so confused and don’t know what to believe. On one hand, what Julian is saying could be true, but if that was the case, why did Lucas act like he didn’t know who my husband was until he saw the picture in the club? If he was following me, looking for the chance to snatch me up to get back at Julian, then he would have known already who I was married to. So one of them is lying, and I don’t know which one. If Lucas did in fact know that I was married to Julian, a man who had been watching him, then was he really protecting me for the last six years? Did he just recently find out I was married to him and that changed his plans? I hate not knowing!

  “Julian, they told me you’re a killer…that they hired you to kill me,” I say in a quiet voice, unsure of what Julian’s reaction would be to that statement.

  After a few moments of complete silence Julian starts laughing. I look at him in shock because this reaction is the last reaction I thought he’d have.

  “Oh my God, Bella, that’s…I don’t even know what to say. That’s definitely a good one,” he says trying to get his laughter under control.

  I continue to stare at him in disbelief.

  “Oh,” he says, becoming serious. “Did you actually believe that, Bella?”

  “Well, they said they hired you. One of them saw your picture and said it was definitely you.”

  “So if you think I’m going to kill you, why are you here?” he asks.

  “Well, one said that your name was Michael and then I realized he saw the picture I had of you when it was pretty dark, so I knew they had made a mistake.”

  He scrutinizes me carefully before responding.

  “So you don’t believe them?”

  “No. I knew you couldn’t be what they were saying you were.”

  “Good, because Bella, they are bad people and they obviously wanted to pit you against me so you wouldn’t want to come back to me. This whole abduction thing was aimed at me, a warning to leave them alone. I will find them and make them pay, don’t you worry.”

  I debate on whether I should tell him the real reason they were after me. Maybe I would be able to keep my secret hidden from Julian. It wasn’t something he needed to know, it wasn’t hurting our relationship and he believes I was taken because of him and for no other reason. Bringing all of that other stuff up would solve nothing.

  “How are you going to make them pay?” I ask curiously.

  “They can’t abduct somebody and get away with it, Annabella. I’ll contact som
e people about this. Do you remember where you were?”

  “Not really, it was dark and I didn’t really look around when I left.”

  “So they let you go?”

  “Uhh, no. One of them was injured by the other and wasn’t there towards the end. The other one wasn’t aware of me leaving. I’m sure he knows now, but I was able to escape. I’m sure they are both long gone now,” I say, knowing Lucas would probably stick to his plan on moving away.

  “So, they were planning on keeping you? Or killing you?”

  I don’t know what to say, so I only shrug in response.

  He seems to brood over everything for a little while before he turns his attention back to me. He pulls me into his side and cradles my head into his shoulder while his other arm wraps around my waist.

  “I’m just glad you’re back now, Annabella. You’re safe and I’ll be sure to keep you safe from now on. I’m sorry for everything you went through but I can say with confidence that you won’t need to worry about those guys again.” He kisses my head and then gets off the couch and gently pulls me up to my feet. “Why don’t you go take a relaxing bath and get into some of your own clothes and I’ll meet you in the room.”

  “Okay, that sounds perfect. Thank you Julian, for everything,” I say before wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his hard chest. Feeling his warmth and hard muscles make me feel safe and protected once again.

  When I get into the bedroom I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror on top of the dresser. I look terrible! My hair is disheveled, my face is slightly splotchy from all the crying and my makeup is smeared all over my face. I quickly grab some clothes and run a nice hot bubble bath for me to relax in for a while.

  I feel a little better once I get out. I’m still consumed with thoughts of being captured and on someone’s hit-list. I try to figure out what I could do but resign to knowing Julian will protect me. I know he will. I shake the thoughts from my head for now and get comfortable. My hair is tied up into a bun on top of my head, my face isn’t red anymore, and I now have some plaid pajama pants and T-shirt on. Julian isn’t in the room yet and I remember that I don’t have my cell phone anymore, so I can’t call Jade or Michelle to let them know I’m okay. I’ll have to be sure to go out and get another one tomorrow.