Past Forgiven

by Jesse Lorenzo

  At seeing Behr’s bewildered expression, Mathew elaborated.

  “Oh, I’ve kept tabs on you over the years. I can say that you’ll make a better husband and father than I ever was, of this I am certain. I cannae make up for it. Aye, it’s too late for that, n’ I know I ‘ave no right to ask for your forgiveness. I only hope I can be a part of your life now… if you’ll have me. If nae, I understand. It’s what I deserve, and I’ll hold no ill will toward you. I guess I’m asking for a second chance.”

  Everyone’s eyes shifted to Behr, waiting for him to answer, to react, to do something. The tension in his jaw showed as he clenched his teeth tight like a vice. His mouth opened then clamped shut several times, but no sound made it out. Rising to his feet, Behr stormed out without so much as an explanation for his departure.

  Staring at his retreating back in astonishment, Ellora turned to her future in-laws. “I’ll talk to him. This has taken him aback, and he’s very stubborn.”

  Rose elbowed Mathew. “Aye, wonder where he picked up that trait.”

  “Thank you so much for lunch. It was delicious. No matter how he reacts now, we’ll both be delighted if you could come to the wedding. It would mean a lot to us to have you both there.”

  Rose pulled Ellora into her arms. “Thank you so much, sweet child, for everything.”

  When Ellora didn’t see Behr by his truck, she scanned the surrounding area. In the distance, he stood leaning against an old tree, fisting his hair in frustration. Ellora approached her fuming grizzly Behr with cautious sympathy.

  “You doing okay?”

  The irritated man turned on her, taking all his anger out in one long-winded rant. “How did I let you talk me into coming here? One couldnae think of a worse idea if ya tried. I cannae go back in there. What makes him think I can forgive him after all this time? You cannae cleanse raw, torn opened wounds with short words. Those wounds have only festered after all this time. I cannae just forget all that’s been done. He’s right… It’s too late for apologies, too late for handin’ out second chances.”

  The sound that came out of Ellora next was more like a vicious growl. Calling upon all the moxie she could summon, the short girl marched up into his face, confronting the most stubborn man she’d ever known to let him have it. With only inches separating them, Ellora jabbed his mighty chest with her slender finger.

  “You, Mr. Buchanan, are behaving like a high and mighty asshole and a big whining baby. I didn’t even know that was possible, but you managed to rise to the occasion.”

  Behr smirked at his feisty little woman. The fire that flashed behind those emerald green eyes impressed him. He’d never seen this bold, angry side of her before… and he really liked it.

  “I will not start our marriage off on a bitter, resentful note. You are going to have to forgive the past before you even think about starting a future with me. You’re going to have to drop that crushing weight of anger you’ve been carrying around. Make peace with them, Behr. Start life with me on a clean slate.

  “I still look over my shoulder every time I hear footsteps approaching, expecting to see my parents walk in like nothing’s happened. I wish every single day that I had just five more minutes with them. And here, you have both your parents begging you to forgive them, pleading to be a part of your life, and you’re taking it for granted. You’re throwing away precious time with them… limited time.”

  Ellora’s cell buzzed in her back pocket, and she continued to stare him down even as she picked up the call. There was no way she was letting him off the hook, not for one second.

  “Detective Antonelli, it’s been a while. What can I do for you?”

  Panic flashed through Behr’s eyes at all the possible reasons he would be calling Ellora.

  “Put ’im on speaker,” he gritted out. Ellora glared at him in warning of his biting command and reluctantly complied.

  Behr made his presence known. “Detective, this is Behr. What’s happened now?” Ellora shot him another glare, warning him to calm down. They both heard the Detective’s noticeable sigh as it crackled through the speaker from the other end.

  “Nothing happened, I just… I have to ask Ellora a very important question. If she decides to hang up after I ask, I’ll understand. This is going to be difficult; I’m not going to lie.”

  Ellora glanced up at Behr, her brows knitting together. She brought her finger to her mouth, motioning for him to keep quiet, and took a few steps away from the overpowering man. She had a feeling that, whatever it was, he wasn’t going to like it.

  “Go ahead and ask, Detective. I’m listening.”

  “As you know, Giddeon was incarcerated in a maximum security psych ward so that he could receive the help and rehabilitation he needed…”

  Ellora’s heart began pounding in her chest at the mention of his name.

  “Go on…”

  “One of the steps of his rehabilitation is to reach out and make amends to those he’s done wrong. If it is okay with you, he’d like to speak with you. If it’d make you more comfortable, you can speak through me if you don’t want to talk with him directly.”

  At this point, Behr lost it. “How dare that rat bastard! Who does he think he is? He doesnae deserve to speak at all, let alone with such a good hearted person as Ellora, after all he’s done to her and her family. He can go straight to hell! Better yet, let me send him there myself.”

  As Behr flipped out, an ingenious idea formed inside her head. Before she could chicken out, the emboldened girl went for it. Whirling on Behr, she placed her hand on his chest, gently pushing him back.

  “It’s okay, Behr. I can handle this… I need to handle this myself, and I need you to stay calm and quiet, all right?” Still sneering in anger, Behr ground his teeth and forced a slow nod.

  Ellora took the phone off speaker so Behr wouldn’t unintentionally fly off the handle again, once he heard Giddeon’s voice. “Put him on, Detective. I’ll hear him out.”

  Struck dumb by the unexpected words that came out of her mouth, Behr stood staring dumbfounded at her.

  Ellora heard the phone being passed over to another, followed by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

  “Ellora…?”

  She inhaled deeply as her body trembled at hearing his voice. He sounded so close. The thought made her sick to her stomach, but this was something she had to do. “Yes, Giddeon. I’m here.”

  A long, drawn out sigh had her waiting with bated breath. His voice was as shaky as her body felt. Giddeon was just as nervous talking to her as she was with him. That thought comforted her; it made him more… human.

  “I… I’ve wanted to reach out to you for a while now, but didn’t feel I had any right to. I can’t go any further in my rehabilitation without telling you myself how regretful I am. What I’ve done to you and… and what I did to your parents, is unthinkable… unforgivable. I know that.”

  Ellora closed her eyes, hearing the broken words coming from the one responsible. It was like a ton of bricks had lifted off of her back, releasing her from the emotional chains that’d held her down. Seeing her chin tremble and the tears trickling down her cheeks, Behr moved in to snatch the phone from out of her shaking hands. But Ellora once again pushed him back and kept him hostage there by the power of her iron-clad, stone-cold glare.

  “I’ve heard from my lawyer that you confessed to it in open court without a fight and helped Detective Antonelli capture Dalton. For that, I am truly grateful.”

  Those truthful words weren’t as hard to confess as she would’ve thought.

  “I wanted to spare you the agony of coming back here, dragging you through a lengthy trial to relive the terrible things I did. I put you through hell… Dalton put you through hell.”

  Ellora heard his tone change at the mention of Dalton and decided to press him. “Whatever it is you want to say, go ahead. Let it all out, Giddeon. Now’s your chance… I’m listening.”

  “Dalton had men slaughter both my parent
s when I was six… men just like how I’ve turned out to be. Dalton molded me into the very monsters I despised because I wasn’t strong enough to choose a different path. Both of your parents are dead because of me. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for it. I will never forgive myself. I just wanted you to know that I am truly sorry and that I will always see your face in the back of my mind haunting me, reminding me of all the evil I’ve caused.”

  He’d barely gotten the sentence out before his voice broke. Tears of her own fell down her cheeks.

  “Listen to me, Giddeon. Hear me and know that I mean every word… take them with you. If you ever find yourself falling back into that dark place… pulling you back down that destructive path, I want you to picture my parents. I want you to picture your parents.

  “Picture the four of them standing together, watching over you. I want you to fight like hell to do the right thing. Choose right, Giddeon, for me. You owe me that much. Fight to be a better person. You owe that to yourself. Honor your parents’ names and memory through your actions. You owe them that.”

  Ellora heard Giddeon break down over the line, and it took her back. She never thought him capable of this kind of raw emotion.

  “I will, Ellora. I swear it.”

  She nodded silently at the strength of his convictions.

  “Thank you.”

  Giddeon let a painful sigh of relief go. “No, thank you for giving me a chance to say my peace. I wish you all the best.”

  Ellora jumped in one last time before he hung up. “… To you as well. Oh, and Giddeon… I do.”

  “You do what?” he asked after a brief pause.

  Straightening her spine, Ellora felt strength grow inside of her after each word that followed. “I forgive you, Giddeon. Goodbye.”

  She ended the call and zeroed in on Behr, ready to drive her point home. He stared at her in bewilderment. His mouth hung open, his eyes wide and unblinking.

  “If I can forgive the very same man who took my parents away from me, then you can find it in your heart to forgive your father.”

  Crossing her arms, Ellora looked like a warrior goddess. Strong. Fearless. Ready for a battle of wills.

  “How? How could you forgive that… that disgusting excuse for a man? Why?”

  Ellora offered a soft smile, closed the distance between them, and rose on tiptoes, cradling his grimacing face in her hands.

  “My father always told me that things happen for a reason. There are no accidents, Behr. If those terrible things hadn’t happened, if my father was still alive, I would never have come here. Ever. I would’ve never met you. We wouldn’t be planning a wedding, and you most definitely would never get the chance to give me the brood of babies you’re planning on giving me.”

  That last sentence had Behr grinning devilishly. Placing a soft kiss on his full lips, Ellora whispered against them, “I can’t regret all that has happened in my past, because however tragic, however heartbreaking, it brought me here to you. I love you, Behr, so much. It’s time we move past this.”

  The devotion and determination shining through his eyes came across loud and clear. Still unable to speak after her powerful speech, Behr drew her into his arms and held her tight to him. There was no way that statement could be argued. She was right, every single word of it, and there was no room for dispute. He’d forgive his father and make amends, thanks to the strength and convictions of his precious, brave, raven-haired godsend… his future wife.

  “All right, lass. You win. I surrender to your unarguable logic and wisdom.”

  Ellora smiled broadly up at him. “Hmm, a girl could get used to that. Tell me I’m right again.” Ellora cupped her hand around her ear teasingly and waited.

  “Aye, don’t push it, ya cute lil’ smart arse. Let’s get back inside. It looks like I’ve got some unfinished business to attend to.”

  It was the beginning of a new day. Giddeon leaned up against the building’s outside wall and took a deep, cleansing breath in. This moment, right here, right now felt oddly surreal. The sun warmed his skin, the trees danced with the breeze, and the smell of the crisp clean air woke his senses anew. It was as though Giddeon was experiencing it all for the very first time.

  Ellora had forgiven him. He still was confused as to why. If the roles were reversed, he knew he wouldn’t forgive all he’d done. But she was a better person than him. The board okayed his early release, to his utter shock and amazement. Giddeon had been given a second chance, and he didn’t intend on wasting a single second of it.

  “Let’s go, Detective. My lady awaits.”

  Dominick laughed as they made their way to the parking lot.

  “Got anything planned?”

  Giddeon smirked at his partner and lightly shoved his shoulder, fooling around. “Yeah, locking her in the bedroom for, oh, I don’t know… a week. Maybe longer.” His good mood was showing through his otherwise sinister façade.

  “Wow. How romantic,” Dominick teased.

  They reached the Jeep when a young kid approached Giddeon apprehensively. “Excuse me, are you Giddeon Cane?”

  Raising a suspicious brow, he nodded, slow and hesitant in his reply. “Um, yeah. Why? Who’s asking?”

  His naturally harsh tone, dark looks, and scarred up body gave the kid pause as he lifted a shaky hand, holding a folded piece of paper. “A… a guy gave me twenty bucks to give this to you.”

  Giddeon’s black eyes narrowed on the kid. The boy flinched when the intimidating man snatched the paper from his trembling hands, then he ran as fast as his young legs could carry him. Giddeon didn’t mean to scare the kid, but hey, he shouldn’t be talking to strangers anyway. Opening up the now crumpled paper, Giddeon removed his dark sunglasses and read the chicken scratch handwriting.

  Your hot little counselor really shouldn’t play with needles…

  “What the fuck!”

  Dominick rounded the Jeep to Giddeon's side, wondering what the hell was going on now. “What does it say?”

  Giddeon’s fists clenched, shaking from a mixture of fear and anger. “It’s him. Somehow, he’s gotten to her. I should’ve known something was up when she never answered my call.”

  Dominick pried the note from his white-knuckled grip and read the short message, cursing under his breath. On the back was the hospital’s insignia where she worked at.

  “Get in the fucking Jeep!” Pulling out his cell, Dominick punched in the number belonging to the FBI agents assigned to him.

  “Denarius, it’s Detective Antonelli. I need you to meet me at Saint Joe’s Hospital. Giddeon and Eva are in serious danger. Yeah, he just got out, and I don’t want him going right back in, so I need you to watch over them both. I believe Dalton’s already gotten to her. Some kid just handed him a note from someone who paid him to deliver it to Giddeon specifically. It sounds like a threat. …No, he called her yesterday but there was no answer. That’s exactly what my guts telling me.”

  I’ve got to get to Susan. I shouldn’t have left her side.

  “No! I’ll go to Susan. You go to the hospital, find out where Eva is, and stay with them. I don’t give a fuck what you think is a bad idea. I’m going to Susan’s, try and stop me.”

  Dominick raced down the throughway, thinking only of the girl he’d left alone and completely vulnerable… the girl he swore to protect. I’m coming, Susan, he chanted inside his head.

  Giddeon was in the same frame of mind and could hardly sit still the whole ride over. He felt helpless, trapped, and useless.

  “I should’ve fucking killed that mother fucker when I had the chance!”

  Dominick stayed quiet. He knew nothing he said would calm him, especially since he didn’t know what kind of condition she’d be in once they got there.

  “I swear to God if he hurt her…” Giddeon let the sentence drop off. He couldn’t live in this world without her in it. He wouldn’t survive that kind of loss… He didn’t want to.

  Once they pulled up to the emergency drop-off ro
und about, Giddeon leaped out of the moving car before Dominick was able to come to a complete stop. He shouted out the window at the FBI agents awaiting their arrival, unwilling to stop even for a moment. He didn’t want to waste a single second more than he had to.

  “Don’t let them out of your sight, not for one second! Call me with any news.”

  Denarius nodded shouting back waving his hand at the retreating jeep, “She’s here. They’re working on her now. I’ll let you know how she’s doing when I can.”

  Dominick peeled out, heading back to the interstate, refusing to obey traffic laws, and breaking about a dozen more. His frantic need to get to Susan intensified after every agonizing second passed, not knowing whether she was safe or already fighting for her life.

  Dominick had called from the Bluetooth a dozen times since leaving the hospital, each one resulting in the same outcome… All his calls cut straight to voice mail. His heart thundered inside his chest, competing with the speed of the car, ready for a fight. Dominick pushed his car to its limits as he weaved in and out of traffic.

  “I’m coming, Susan. Please be safe. Please stay safe, sweetheart.”

  Susan made quick work of packing up what little they had that actually belonged to them into some boxes. Clothes, photos, books, toys, movies, and important documents were labeled and separated. Everything else belonged to the witness protection program and was going to be left behind for the next person to use.

  Grabbing the fading marker, Susan labeled the full box Alex’s Room and taped it closed. He’d given her a hard time all afternoon when she started packing up all his favorite action figures, which wasn’t a surprise. She knew he’d be upset. Alex hated change, hated to have his things moved and touched. His comfort relied heavily on strict routine and structure. Moving was extremely stressful on him.

  Lashing out in retaliation, he’d broken several glass cups and a bowl. Susan let him get all his aggression out, ignoring his tantrum and knowing full well if she engaged in this behavior, he’d get worse. After all, the dishes weren’t even hers anyhow. After about an hour and a half, the boy wore himself out; Alex crawled into the corner by the window and sulked.