Shamed (A Ruthless Rebels MC Novella Book One)

by Michele, Ryan

  He laughs a deep belly laugh. “Give me an hour to sort some shit and then we’ll all go out and find a new place together.”

  “DJ,” I pause as shame washes over me. “I don’t have a lot saved. Mom and I, we can go to Aunt Ruth’s apartment.”

  I feel his lips press to my forehead, his beard tickles my nose. “Told you, Kenie, I protect and provide for what’s mine. Baby, I got the money. You, your momma, your Aunt Ruth, and me are gonna find a house. We’re gonna have a home, Kenie. One you can make your own, one we can make work for us. Don’t even think of the cost.”

  Emotions overwhelm me. My mother’s hand sneaks around to squeeze mine in her silent approval of living with DJ. “I can’t,” the words come out in a cracked whisper. “I can’t just depend on you like that.”

  “Kenie,” his voice is soft, soothing. “You wanna work, baby, I’m not gonna stop you. I’ve worked for the club for years, been earning my pay since I earned my cut. All that money has been saved. I’m far from a millionaire, but money ain’t something I worry about. Gonna get you a good car, get your momma what she needs. All I ask is, baby, can we please find you a new job?”

  I can’t stop the laugh that escapes me. “You have it all figured out, huh?”

  “Nope, but I got one thing figured out: me and you. We do what we gotta do to keep this right here. Been there, Kenie, that place, down to nothing. One thing you learn is what matters. This feeling, this love we got, it’s something that matters and something to hold onto.”

  I look to my mom. I look back to the man in front of me. I’m down to nothing but yet, I have what matters most in this room.

  “Guess I better hold on tight,” I say as tears fall down my face and his lips crash to mine silencing me and leaving my mom to whisper happy thoughts to my dad about love and life.

  Chapter 13

  Life’s a bitch … and so is my mother!

  Lurch let us stay in his old cabin he keeps on the lake. It’s a shit hole, but it’s a place to stay and with Kenie being so adamant about not staying at the clubhouse, we suck it up. I kept her and her mother in a hotel for a couple of days, but we needed something where we could stay and get organized. The money isn’t the issue. It’s the uncertainty and I need to solve that by finding us a place.

  This last week we’ve looked at several homes. Each one, Kenie’s eyes lit up, but I didn’t know if it was because of the newness or if it was because right now she has nothing and anything will do. I know we need several rooms to accommodate everyone. And let’s be straight, I need privacy to fuck my woman proper.

  “She’s doing exceptionally well,” the nurse says coming into the room. “Ruth, here, is a champ and will be ready to go home soon.”

  Kenie’s body tenses in front of me and I wrap her up tighter in my arms. She’s worried about when Ruth is released and how the living arrangements will work. My Kenie is something else. Always worrying about everyone else and never herself. That’s my job. Where I come in.

  “Will she need in home care?” Kenie’s mother asks.

  “Do I look like I need in home care?” Ruth clips, irritated with her sister, but I catch the small smiles there too. It’s like she missed this back and forth, eating it up while she can.

  “No, I need to make sure you’re taken care of,” her mother charges back.

  “I don’t need a babysitter,” Ruth responds.

  “Ladies.” Kenie steps in. “We’ll get it all worked out. No need to worry about any of this.” Funny thing is Kenie doesn’t know how to work all of this, but shows her bravery every second. Damn, I love this woman.

  “I’m taking care of her,” her mother snips at Kenie ignoring Ruth.

  “No…,” Ruth starts.

  Kenie breaks in, “Stop it. You’re worse than children.” She turns to the nurse. “About when will you be releasing her.”

  “I’d say in the next couple of days for sure.”

  “Thank you,” Kenie calls out as the nurse leaves the room no doubt happy to be out of this crossfire.

  My cell rings and I pull it out of my pocket. It says Shamus calling. Fuck. He knows where I am and knows not to call unless he has a tail on my bitch of a mother. Days we’ve been searching, having all the guys and our contacts on that shit and she’s been ghost. Even if this is a shit time, I sure as hell hope they’ve found her.

  “Yeah.” I answer.

  “Got a spotter. Says he saw her in the old Gordon warehouse. We’re heading to check it out.”

  “How promising?”

  “If the asshole’s lying, he knows we’ll come for him. So, pretty promising because he didn’t bat an eye to it.”

  Fuck. I’ve gotta go. “Be there in ten. Don’t enter without me,” I snap the phone shut and turn my gaze to Kenie who looks up at me with bright eyes.

  “Gotta run. Stay here and visit. You need a ride back to the cabin call the clubhouse and someone will be there to come and get you.”

  “What’s going on?” she asks turning in my arms, her hands coming to my chest.

  “Club business. I’m going to make all this shit go away.” If that means sacrificing the woman who gave birth to me for the woman I love, then so be it. Cora Leigh was never a real mother to me, always fending for myself and trying to survive. She doesn’t have the capability of loving, but I do and I won’t let her decision effect my life. Not anymore.

  “How are you going to…”

  I kiss her lips shutting down her question, then pull away to her bee stung lips. “Trust your man to take care of this. Trust me to make everything good. I want this, Kenie, and nothing is going to stand in our way.” I kiss her again and I’m off.

  Driving my truck, I make fast work of getting to the warehouse. I brought Kenie and her mother to the hospital that’s why I have the truck, when I really need my fucking bike. My brothers, including Shamus, Oscar, Triple Threat, Skinny, and Grinder are parked waiting and climb off their rides when they see me stop.

  The building is old and many of the windows are broken out of it. It used to be an old tennis shoe factory, but left a long time ago. The black door is chained and the only way I can see in is through the window.

  “What do we have?” I ask Shamus who sides up against me, gun in hand and I do the same. Fuck knows what’s behind those doors.

  “Rip says she’s been seen coming in and out of here for the last day. Doesn’t look clean so don’t know if it’s a dealer she’s meeting or if she’s actually staying here.” My mother hopped up on dope, nothing I haven’t seen before. What would be a shock is a clean woman with a smile on her damn face. Now, that would be frightening.

  “Let’s go.” My tone is soft as Grinder points to a window in the basement and I nod. The crunch of the glass under our feet is the only sound, that is until a black four door Mercedes sedan goes pealing out from a loading dock door. It flies down the ramp nearly missing us and darts off to the left.

  In the passenger seat, I see my mother. “Son of a Bitch! Go! Go! Go!”

  My brother’s rush to their bikes and me to my truck. I’m really fucking hating this machine right now. At least my brothers will get there fast.

  I gun the truck watching my brothers peel out and take off. The black car is up ahead and I can see my mother turning around and looking behind her. Who the fuck is she with?

  Shamus and Grinder give signals to pull up alongside them just at the black car swerves to the right. “Motherfucker!” I yell out as Grinder maneuvers his bike and lets off the accelerator to avoid meeting pavement.

  Shamus turns around and looks at me. Guess this hunk of metal will be of use after all. The brothers stay close but leave me an opening. I press the accelerator and make my move. The car sees me and tries the swerve thing again, but I counter it and we hit. It’s enough for the black car to lose its stride. I whip next to it, no one coming on the old two lane road.

  As soon as I have a few feet in front of the car, I arch to the left hard. The black car pulls again
st my push. It loses control, skidding off the side of the road, dirt and rocks flying everywhere. Somehow the driver corrects it just enough to miss a tree, but falls into a ditch instead. The back tires of the car spin in the air as the nose of the machine is head first in the grass.

  This piece of shit is going to pay.

  The steady rumble and tick of the bikes pulling up to me calms the adrenaline inside and I throw the truck in park, jumping out.

  “You good?” Grinder asks.

  “Yeah, you guys?” I look briefly at them counting four heads so they’re alright. My focus goes back to the car and fury boils in my veins. Clutching my gun, I walk up to the car, the heat from my brothers at my back.

  “Cora!” a man’s voice says from the driver’s seat.

  “I’m fine Jeral. Get me out of here,” my mother responds. At least she’s not dead so I can fucking kill her.

  “Get out of the fucking car!” I demand looking at how exactly they are going to do this. It’ll be a bit of a stretch with the car elevated a bit, but they can swing it.

  “Dixon!” My mother’s voice has tears in it, but she’s played that game one to many times with me. In fact, she’s played every game in the book with me and any man she’s ever encountered. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if she wrote the book on fucking with a man’s mind.

  “Get the fuck out here!”

  “Hold your shit, boy,” the man bellows pushing open the door, Grinder and Triple Threat going over to help hold the door open. That motherfucker just called me boy. I’ll show him boy.

  The man is a brute and not in a muscular way, but just in a round way. I’m not sure how the fuck he maneuvers himself and my mother out, but he does and stands before me.

  “Hookin’ again, ma?”

  My mother steps in front of the man, her hands up, apparently, to halt me from killing him. He’s not the one that has the problem right now. She’s the started this fucking mess and got Kenie involved. The big man is of no consequence to me.

  “Don’t shoot him. Dixon—this is your father.”

  Those words mean nothing to me. He may have been the one in the rig that day, but as far as a father goes, this man—fuck, no man besides Lurch is a father to me.

  “Don’t give a fuck. You owe Bender and you’re going and paying that shit off.”

  “I can’t pay him,” she says.

  “Son, it’s my debt.” I move fast, push my mother out of the way and deck the asshole right in the jaw. He staggers back, but somehow after a few beats he regains his balance. Didn’t hit him hard enough, that shit won’t happen again.

  “Don’t fuckin’ call me son. I’m no son of yours, motherfucker.” My pulse is rapid and breathing jagged. “So you let my mother spread her legs to pay your fucking debt?” I growl letting everything out. “You’re a pathetic excuse for a man!”

  My mother darts between the two of us panic etched in her movement. “Don’t! We were trying to protect you!”

  “Protect me? Fucking protect me? Since when, mom. When the fuck did you ever think of me instead of your next dick or fix. After all, you named me Dixon since a dick knocked you up. That’s what you always said, Dixon for a dick’s son. Why the love for the man now?” My brothers stand around me; they are my family. The ones that I wanted. Family is who you want to surround yourself with. Sharing DNA means shit. I’m not even for sure this asshole is my father. She could be spouting off all the shit she has done over the years.

  “Bender was going to kill you!” my mother shrieks and I don’t believe a single word of it.

  I laugh, full out deep laugh. Not the time or the place, but this bitch has some nerve. If Bender was going to come after me, he would have done it by now. This is just another one of the loads of shit.

  “I’m serious. He even talked about Kenderly.” My mother’s mention of my girl’s name has my laughter stopping instantly. “He said that if he couldn’t get to you, he’d go after her. So your dad and I were coming up with the money and I was keeping him happy.” The way she says keeping him happy makes me want to wretch. If what she’s saying is true, by any stretch of the imagination, Kenderly is still in danger. We’re all in danger.

  “Gotta get ‘em to lock down. We need to get Thumper on this. Find out what’s true and what’s shit.” I stare my mother down. “We sort it, if one fuckin’ thing is off in this pile of shit story, they both die at my hands.”

  “Making the call now,” Shamus is the first to reply. He’s always had my back and always will, which is more than I can say for the two fuckers in front of me. He steps away out of ear shot as Grinder steps forward with zip ties.

  “Son, this isn’t necessary,” my mother tries to plead.

  Changing my voice to make it sickeningly sweet, “Oh, but honey, it is. I’ve had twenty-nine years of your shit games. This man you got with you, I don’t know from Adam. Neither of you are getting in my fuckin’ truck without being tied the fuck up.”

  Triple Threat grabs his phone, no doubt calling for the tow truck as I watch him check out the car. He slides the screen of the phone after a moment. “Got a van comin’ for Bonnie and Clyde over there and truck coming for the car.”

  “Where you takin’ my ride?” the man my mother called Jeral asks.

  “To my shop, then to my house. It’s gonna clean up real nice for the old folks home in the county.”

  The man stupidly steps up to Triple Threat. TT towers over him at six-feet-seven-inches; he towers over everyone. “That’s my car!” Jeral’s voice cracks.

  “Not anymore. Your car was totaled in a ditch. This car is being donated to the nice old ladies at the nursing home who make the best peanut brittle.”

  For a moment I think Jeral may swing on my brother. He’s up shit’s creek if he does. The man is trained in Muay Tai. He’s also got the IQ of a genius, to the point some of the guys think he should be named MacGuyver. Add to it the man was a sharp shooter in the military before getting out and patching in with the club. Hence, the triple threat. He can beat you with his mind, body, and a single shot.

  It’s only moments before the van arrives to take my mom and Jeral off. The whole time they keep trying to talk until finally I went to the truck, found duct tape and taped their mouths shut. I’m trying to process everything. My mother says this man is my father. She says Bender has been after me this whole time.

  I’m not willing to risk Kenie. Bender will need to be dealt with … and soon.

  Chapter 14

  Home with a biker is all oil cans and grease rags … or is it?

  We tried. Really, DJ, Mom, and me tried to do the normal house hunting thing. In a matter of twenty-four hours, DJ’s patience ran out. He found us in a ranch style four bedroom, two bathroom house, with a gorgeous wrap around porch. The open floor plan connects the living, dining and kitchen in a unique way that, no matter what room you’re in, you have an excellent view of the entire space. I’d never been one for parties, because my life didn’t consist of anyone but a slim few, but now with this house, I could see it. Laughter. Happiness. The same as I grew up in. The even better part of the house is how the rooms are laid out. The master bedroom and bath are off to the left of the house, kind of in their own wing, all the while the other three bedrooms are off to the right of the living space. It gives DJ and I privacy, something I didn’t think would be possible with the situation we’re in. But, that’s DJ. The man with the plan, taking care of me and my family.

  Stacy went with me to pick out furniture. I’ve never had time to have friends. I lost all the ones I had before my dad died, but Stacy and I did chat in passing. After the incident at the station and my house burning, she reached out to me several times and I reached back. I never once felt like she was calling for gossip. It was all genuine and our friendship grew from there. Now that I’m not tied down with working to pay the bills for me and mom, I can honestly say we are friends. It feels good to have a girlfriend again. Apparently, Lurch, one of DJ’s club brothers who is
old enough to be his dad, has a wife who works at this small furniture shop. Well, once we got in there, she was not only so sweet, but we learned a lot of the furniture Lurch either built or refinished himself. She swore us to secrecy saying that Lurch didn’t want to catch hell from the club for his wood working skills, and no lie the woman actually winked.

  It’s crazy to think of how these people have simply accepted me and my mother, our whole situation just based on DJ and I being together. Family had never been something I thought about in either a negative or a positive light before I lost my dad. I took it for granted until I didn’t have dad anymore. Then, it’s all I could think about. I had such an amazing childhood. Something DJ didn’t have. Yet, he found it, which I am so happy about.

  Somehow, with the Rebels, DJ found everything he ever needed and more. He belongs. I get it now. There’s a security with the club. There is acceptance. There is loyalty.

  For so many years I’ve been alone with mom and Aunt Ruth, the three of us against the world and the bill collectors. Just as we lose everything, so it seems, we gain so much more in the Rebels and what they stand for.

  DJ also got mom and Aunt Ruth a mini van to share. Aunt Ruth still has her car, but DJ wanted them to have something dependable for getting to and from appointments. Mom found an outpatient program to battle her depression and Aunt Ruth is going with her to face her own issues since the fire. Triple Threat and his twin brother Gilly have a garage in town and they cleaned up my dad’s old Honda after smoke damage and just general maintenance it needed. DJ did surprise me with a small SUV saying he couldn’t have his woman on the side of the road waiting on a ride. I agreed only if I could make payments back to him. He didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no.