Shelter You

by Montalvo-Tribue, Alice

  “Logan…” I wail, smacking him on the arm.

  “What? I like having you here and I’m serious that that place still needed work. I would have never been comfortable leaving you there.”

  “But why? What is it that you want?”

  “I guess I just want to shelter you. And not just in the literal sense but I have this crazy need to protect you, to make sure that you and Lily are okay. I know I haven’t gone about it the best way, but I want you here.”

  “I want to be here too.” I admit quietly.

  He strokes my cheek gently, a gesture from him that I’m starting to love. Instinctively, I lean into him, wanting to get as close to him as I can. He places his free arm over my waist, his hand lands just above my butt—pushing me even closer to him.

  “Does you wanting to be here mean that you want to be with me too?” His hands move upwards slowly, starting to rub my back, forcing my muscles to relax.

  “Is that what you want?” I query, slipping further into a fog,

  “I don’t know how to do this, Mia. I usually just go for what I want, say what I mean, I don’t hold my tongue at all, but with you I sense that I need to tread carefully, like you need to time to process what’s really happening here.”

  “What if you decide it’s all too much? I’m scared.”

  “I know baby, but you’re here, you’re with me and you and Lily are safe. And when it comes down to it, I want you, I want you both, I want you to be mine. Do you want that too?”

  “I… Yes. Yes, I think so.”

  “Then we can start off slow. We can take our time, keep on getting to know each other and see how it goes.”

  “I don’t want to bring you down or hold you back. Why would you want a ready made family when you can start from scratch and have your own?”

  “Because that’s not what I want. You want an explanation that I can’t really give you. I can’t tell you why people want what they want, they just do. It just is and I need you to believe in it, trust it.”

  “Trust doesn’t come easily to me.”

  “I know that, but do you think you can try? Do you want to try with me?”

  I know what I want my answer to be. I want Logan and even though the thought of being with him, of trusting him is terrifying, I know I owe it to myself to try. “Yes, I want to try,” I whisper.

  His grip tightens on me and I tilt my head back as his descends and our lips meet. Warmth spreads throughout my body making me feel alive, the way only Logan can make me feel. We break apart a few minutes later, both smiling, both happy for what’s just transpired.

  “Can I sleep under the cover now?”

  I try but fail to stop the giggle erupts in me. “Yes, you can sleep under the covers.”

  “I’m glad you get a kick out of this.” He murmurs, situating himself under the blankets and pulling me into his arms.

  “Goodnight Logan.”

  “Goodnight Chief.”

  I’ve had the urge to throw up since I woke up this morning. My nerves are shot and I’m trying not to panic. Logan, Lily, and I are on our way to his parents’ house for dinner. I’m unaware as to what I should expect tonight and I’m pretty confident that his family is going to hate me. Who in their right mind would want a girl like me for their son, and more importantly who in their right mind would bring a girl like me home to meet the parents?

  I tried to convince him to go without me, tried to explain to him that it was just too much too soon but he insisted that his family would be happy to meet me. I on the other hand am terrified to meet them. I’m terrified to walk into their home on Logan’s arm with a baby in tow. Nevertheless, I found one of two conservative dresses that I have in my possession and I put it on. It’s a simple black dress that sits just above my knees and I’ve paired it with a jean jacket and a pair of flats. I feel ridiculous but it’s the best I could do given my situation. Logan looks mouthwateringly sexy in a pair of black slacks and dark blue button down shirt. He holds my hand the entire way there, silently giving me encouragement.

  We pull into the driveway of a massive brick house. Floodlights shine like a beacon on Logan’s truck as we approach; it’s like a spotlight on us making it impossible for me to hide. The house reminds me a lot of my parents’ home back in Florida, which tells me that his family has money. In my world, when people have money they have a skewed sense of reality and priorities, but I’ll do my best to withhold judgment.

  Logan turns his head toward me. “You ready?”

  “Do I have a choice? We’re here already,” I reply with a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

  “I promise you that it’s going to be fine. I know my family. They’re going to welcome you with open arms.” He reassures.

  “Even though I have a baby?”

  “Yes.” He reaches over and strokes my cheek. “Even though you have a baby.”

  “Fine, lets just get this over with.”

  He exits the car, strides around the front and opens my door. He practically has to drag me out of my seat, but once I’m securely out of the car and standing by his side he grabs Lily’s car seat from the back seat and with his free hand grabs hold of mine. I look down at our entwined fingers and my heart skips a beat.

  Normally, I’d be over the moon by this publicly open display of affection but right now it just puts me more on edge. He leads me across the long gravel driveway, up a short flight of brick steps and inside the front door with lightning speed.

  I can barely catch my breath or mentally prepare myself for the upcoming introductions. God, please don’t let me pass out in the middle of this house.

  “Mom!” He bellows. “Dad! Where are you guys?”

  “In the kitchen sweetie!” I hear a sing-songy voice call out. By process of elimination, I deduce that the voice must belong to his mother and I already like her more than my own mom. She sounds happy, gleeful, and kind, not miserable and cold like the voice that I was used to coming home to.

  Logan puts Lily’s carrier down and takes his jacket off before helping me remove mine. I pick Lily up and hold her close to me, needing to have her near, my protective mother gene kicking in. Logan grabs my hand again and instinctively I try to pull away but he just grips me tighter. One way or another, whether I like it or not, he’s making some kind of statement about me to his family.

  “Trust me,” he says with a smile that does little to reassure me right now.

  “Oh, I hate when you say that.” I huff as he pulls me through the house heading for what I can only assume is the kitchen.

  “Hi guys,” he says as we cut through the dining room in order to reach our destination. His parents have their backs to us and turn around in unison. They take in the sight of us together, me holding Lily, Logan holding me and I expect for them to have a reaction to say something, lose the smiles that are plastered on their faces, have a mild coronary but unbelievably they don’t even flinch. They never miss a beat, there’s no question in their eyes, no obvious disappointment or concern.

  “Logan.” His father greets him with a nod.

  “Hi honey.” His mom gleams, walking over to us and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”

  “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend Mia and her daughter Lily.”

  I’m floored by his use of the word “girlfriend.” I’m Logan’s girlfriend and though I’m still a little surprised by it, I’m mostly elated. I look back and forth between his parents and again I wait for a negative reaction, a secret look from mother to son that says What the hell are you thinking? And again I’m astonished when there is none.

  “Mia, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Logan’s mom, Carol and this is his dad, Steven.”

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” I reply timidly.

  “Look at this gorgeous baby. How old is she?”

  “Um, she’s almost two months old,” I say. God, I feel like a slut. They probably think I moved from one man to the next without so much as a sec
ond thought. I knew that this would be a bad idea.

  “Oh, she’s big for two months, but that’s great. She looks really healthy. May I?” she asks, opening her hands up to indicate she’d like to hold Lily.

  I hesitate, but only for a split second. I don’t want them to think that I’m anti social or one of those moms that doesn’t let anyone hold her kids. I gingerly pass Lily into her arms and watch as she smiles at her, kisses her little forehead and rocks her back and forth. “She’s a doll, Mia. You should be very proud.”

  “Thank you.”

  Steven smiles at me and shakes his head. “Good luck getting her back now.” He jokes and Logan lets out a chuckle.

  “Where are Mandy and Chris?” he asks, looking between his parents.

  I’m struck by the similarities, I can see pieces of both of them in Logan, His father’s eyes and hair, His mother’s nose and lips. It’s like he got the best features from both of them. What strikes me the most is how they look at Logan, the love in their eyes for him is plain as day. There’s no neglect or resentment just pride in their child, acceptance and joy. It makes me sad for the childhood that I lacked, the cold upbringing I had.

  “They should be here any minute.” Carol chimes in. “You know Mandy is always late and Chris is driving in from the city.”

  “Right.”

  “So Mia,” She says, turning her attention back to me. “How did you and Logan meet?”

  “Um, well I was at the hospital,” I reply timidly.

  “Oh no, is everything okay?” she interrupts, showing real concern.

  “Mom, relax.” Logan intrudes. “I was there on a call and Mia was there because Lily was a little under the weather. I ran into her, we talked, we became friends. You get the picture.”

  “You suck at telling stories,” she says, turning to me and winking. “I’m sure it was a lot more romantic than that. We’ll talk later.” She walks over to Logan and gives up her hold on Lily, passing her over to him so that she can check on the oven.

  “Don’t let her get you started talking, Mia,” says Steven. “She’ll never stop asking questions. She’ll have your whole life history by the time you leave here tonight.”

  “Steven.” She scolds him and I can’t help but smile at their lighthearted bickering.

  “What? It’s true.” He teases, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Call me when dinner’s ready. Football is on.” He plucks Lily right out of Logan’s hands. “Come on son.” He commands, walking out of the room and taking my daughter with him.

  Logan pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. “Don’t worry she’ll be fine. He’s a pro. Do you want to come watch some football with us?”

  “She’s fine here.” His mother smiles. “You go ahead so Mia and I can get to know each other.”

  “Will you be okay?” Logan looks at me.

  I look at him and nod like a deer caught in headlights. Maybe she was saving her negative reaction for when she had me alone. Logan gives me a gentle squeeze before leaving me on my own.

  “Can I help you with anything?” I ask her.

  “No thanks sweetie. Take a seat and relax. I’m sure you don’t get a lot of down time with an infant.”

  “No, I definitely don’t,” I reply, taking a seat on a stool by the breakfast bar. This is awkward and I’m not much for small talk, but at this point I’ll say just about anything to fill the silence. “You have a lovely house.”

  “Oh, thank you dear. I’ll give you the full tour when I finish up here.”

  “That would be wonderful. How long have you lived here?”

  “Oh ages. The kids grew up in this house.”

  “Right. I think Logan might have mentioned that.”

  “Lily is beautiful. How are you getting on with a baby? Are you doing alright?”

  “Yes. Thank you. I’m doing okay. I mean, some days are harder than others but for the most part I think…No, I know that I’m doing a good job.”

  “I can see that. She’s thriving, Mia. You should be proud of yourself.”

  “That’s nice of you to say.”

  “Can I ask about Lily’s dad? I don’t mean to pry and you can tell me to mind my business if you want. I won’t take offense.”

  “No, that’s okay. He’s not in the picture. He didn’t want to be.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Are your parents helping you?”

  “No ma’am.”

  “Call me Carol.”

  “Carol, right. My parents wanted me to give Lily up for adoption and told me that if I didn’t go through with it I could no longer live with them. So I took Lily and I left.”

  “You left? Where are you from?”

  “Florida.”

  “You came all this way from Florida with a baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. You’re a brave girl,” she says softly. There’s a familiar look in her eyes and I can tell she’s holding something back. There’s a story in her eyes and a pain that I’m all too familiar with. “I’m sorry about your parents, Mia. They made the wrong choice and they should have been there for you. If you ever need anything just let me know.” I don’t know what to say so I just give her a small smile and she continues. “Logan is a good man. If he’s cares about you there’s nothing that he wouldn’t do for you. I can tell that he cares about you a great deal and I think that you need someone like that right now, Mia. Hold onto that.”

  “I’m sorry, but shouldn’t you be telling me to leave your son alone right now? That I’m the wrong kind of girl for him?”

  She shakes her head and tilts it to the side. “Why would I do that?”

  “Because I’m an eighteen year old mother. How could you really be okay with that?”

  “How can I be okay with my son dating a beautiful girl who just happens to have a child? Maybe because I was an eighteen year old mother once.”

  “What?”

  “Shocking I know,” she says with a chuckle. “I had Chris when I was eighteen years old.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “I was a single mom too. Chris’s dad wanted nothing to do with us. I met Steven when Chris was a year old. He was twenty two and being groomed to take over his father’s business. Let’s just say his parents were none too thrilled with me when they found out about us. To this day, I swear they never got over the fact that he settled for me and they never really warmed up to me. So… what I’m saying is that I know better than anyone how hard it is, Mia. I know what you’re going through and I thank God every day that I met a man who was willing to take me along with all of my extra baggage. I hope that you find that too and if it just so happens to be with Logan then I would welcome you and Lily with open arms.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I just assumed you’d all hate me.”

  “Nope. We’re a happy bunch.”

  “Thank you. It means a lot to me that you’re so understanding.”

  She gives me another one of her warm smiles. “Come on, let’s go watch some football. This chicken is going to take a while.

  Carol gives me a tour of the house before we make it to the living room. Logan is on the loveseat with a sleeping Lily.

  He holds out his free hand to me, and when I take it he pulls me down on the couch with him and settles me into his side.

  “How’d it go?” he whispers in my ear.

  “Your mom is amazing,” I reply.

  He gives me a squeeze and I melt into him even more. I still can’t believe how far I’ve come in such a short while. How my life has changed, how a few unwelcome moments have altered the course of my future, but now I have Logan by my side and I never would have imagined that someone as amazing as him would be within my reach, in my realm of possibilities. But when I’m with him, when I see him bonding with Lily, I can’t help but to hope that he’ll be a permanent fixture in our lives. I can’t help but want to trust him.

  The front door opens, pulling me from my inner
ramblings and in walks a man. He is clearly Logan’s brother Chris. He’s a few inches taller than Logan with more chiseled features but they have a few similarities that make the connection prevalent. By his side is a beautiful woman who I assume is his sister Mandy. Her long dark hair is pulled to one side and hanging over her shoulder, and her eyes match Logan’s perfectly, along with her radiant smile. Interestingly enough, behind her is Sarah who stops dead in her tracks as she takes in the sight of Logan, Lily and I snuggled up together like a cozy little family. She doesn’t even attempt to hide the disgust in her eyes. Her nostrils flare and all of a sudden this evening just got a lot more interesting. Sarah stands there for a moment, looking as if though she’s just swallowed a bitter pill but she quickly recovers; she paints a fake smile on her face and puts forth her best attempt at pretending that she’s unaffected by the sight of us.

  “Mia? What are you doing here?” She drawls in a syrupy sweet voice. “I had no idea you were coming.”

  His sister walks further into the room taking us in. “Hi, I’m Mandy, Logan’s sister and this is our brother Chris.”

  “Hello,” I say, rising to my feet and holding out my hand to them both. “I’m Mia.”

  I can feel Logan stand right behind me as they take turns shaking my hand. Mandy looks between me and Sarah, confusion evident on her face and questions, “How do you two know each other?”

  “Mia works for me,” Sarah responds, chiming in. “Logan called me a few weeks back and asked me to help Mia out of a tight situation.”

  “Mandy,” Logan says, interrupting, “Mia is my girlfriend and this is her daughter Lily.”

  I hear Sarah gasp and flick my gaze to her, catching her stunned and angry expression when Logan declares me his girlfriend. There’s no hiding the disdain on her face and for just a brief second I hate myself because I find myself loving her reaction. I love the fact that Logan is making this statement in front of everyone that matters to him and simultaneously squashing any hope that Sarah may have had for a romantic relationship with him.

  Mandy gives me a reassuring smile. “Well, welcome Mia. It’s nice to meet you.” She turns to Logan and just like all of the other members of this family, she snatches my baby right out of his hands. “Hello, Lily. Aren’t you just the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen?” She coos, rocking her back and forth as she walks up to her parents, greeting each one of them with a kiss.