Girl of Myth and Legend

by Giselle Simlett

  Ehlmand places Her translucent hands on our own, and warmth spreads through me—warmth and rightness. After a moment, Her form fireworks in a flurry of stars that flicker and disappear into the star-glinting lake.

  There is a great silence and I find my eyes meeting the little lion’s, hers innocently scared. How can my very being be so willing to entwine with hers? Is it not like this every time, over and over? Yes, but this is the first time I’ve experienced such intensity. Those eyes, they have me under some sort of spell. My hands hold hers tighter, and I can feel her breath against me. I can hear her heart hammering in response to what I’m doing. What am I doing? I don’t even know myself.

  Water shoots from the lake below us, soaring into the air like birds in flight, spiralling around us. The silver water explodes into thousands of cherry blossoms, scattering and then accumulating into a whirlwind. Hundreds settle on our linked hands and begin to glow. I try to pull away, because this is wrong. Suddenly, I would rather die than be bound to this girl, but I can’t move: our forming bond is holding me here. The blossoms on our hands glimmer until they fade, and we are no longer standing on moonlight but on snow, and the cold wind is buffeting against us, and she is no longer magnificent or ethereal but mortal and flesh.

  O’Sah comes between us and separates our hands, which are joined like stone, prying them apart. Both of us hardly register the touch. Awe and marvel brighten the little lion’s eyes. She is looking at me differently, so differently, as if I am a changed being. I too must mirror her look, because though I know she’s the same girl from before, even though nothing has really changed, everything has changed. Now we have a connection. Our hearts are bound by an impossible wonder, and we can feel each other as if we are each other. One being. One force. One heart.

  Strength. I feel it once again, coursing through my body. I’m not the same strength as I was in Aris: I am stronger, stronger than I have been in two hundred years. I feel as if I could battle against ten thousand maidens. I feel as if I could tear apart this whole world until it was nothing but a wasteland.

  Fear. I feel the little lion’s fear and astonishment, and every breath she’s taking is also as if it were mine. I don’t know her memories, I don’t know her thoughts, but it’s as if I can peek into her heart and know her, just as she will know me. If she were to turn from me now, I would not bear it. I need her. Without her I cannot exist, because I am no longer an independent entity. I am hers, body and soul, just as it is with every soul-binding. She is my light, she is my air, she is the heart, the soul, the essence—she is home. I may not want to feel this way, but the binding has entwined us in an unshakable bond that no being can tear apart.

  Her burgundy eyes pin me in place, and I feel unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to think. How lost can I become in those eyes? How can they cause such a spark to catch fire inside my long forsaken heart? It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t be feeling these things. There is an ache in my fingertips, and my hand involuntarily brushes a loose strand of hair from her pallid face. Those eyes. Those eyes. Those eyes. I’ve seen them hundreds of times, the same shape, the same colour, but never the same intensity, never the same mystical gaze as hers. I feel like I’m drowning in them, and, more disturbingly, that I wouldn’t mind if I did.

  ‘Korren, come meet me…’

  The breath I’ve held escapes, the magic ends and I turn from her, unable to comprehend so many things, so many, so many. The emotions tug at me, pull me and drive at me.

  The cherry blossoms. That is Nara’s vengeance. Her reminder of my unforgivable sin. They speak to me as if saying: never forget, never forget, never forget. On and on, endlessly, because for two hundred years I made myself forget, and being with the little lion made forgetting all the easier. Did I think I was free to move on? Did I think I was redeemed enough to feel something again, to feel anything other than pain and guilt and despair? If I thought that, if for even a moment I thought that, then the cherry blossoms that bound the little lion and I are a desolate reminder that I am not redeemed, that I never will be.

  ‘It is now your kytaen until you die,’ I hear O’Sah say, ‘and you its keeper, my Lady.’

  Hearing those words, I instinctively turn to my new keeper, regretting it, because for only the third time in my entire existence, tears are streaming down my cheeks.

  _________________

  The blossoms are fluttering around me like butterflies. I see myself standing before a cherry blossom tree, another me from a long time ago, and next to him is a smaller figure swathed in robes. Her back is to me, but I know… I know who she is.

  ‘What are they called?’ I hear myself ask, my voice an echo.

  I remember how her eyes had settled on me, warming my very core.

  ‘They are called cherry blossom trees, Korren. They exist only in the human realm.’

  She had smiled at me, I remember. Ah, that smile. That was the smile that made me hope in this hopeless world. That was the smile that taught me how to dream. In me, you awoke something I didn’t even know was. All my existence had been a blur, for I had no thoughts, no will or conflict in my mind. I was unconscious, and yet in reality I was wide awake. You, though, you were the one who made me open my eyes, you were the one who made me aware, a sentient. It is because of you that I desired an alternative ending to my story. It is because of you that I dared to hope for a better life.

  Nara. My Nara.

  ‘Then why is this one in Duwyn?’ I ask her.

  ‘’Tis special, this one, Korren. It grew from the souls of my family who died long ago.’

  ‘How can something so beautiful be born from death?’

  ‘Because death is a wonder of this world, and when I die I desire to become part of the cherry blossom tree, as did my family before me. I will bloom in the spring and sleep in the winter, and I will watch forever as life moves on.’

  ‘Who would want such a fate,’ I scream, ‘a fate so different from the one we planned, a fate just as confined as the life you led?’ But she cannot hear me. I am not here.

  ‘Korren, come meet me at the cherry blossom tree, to remember me.’

  I can’t say I’ll go to her—I know that may be a promise I can’t keep. If only I’d speak the words I conceal. If only I said: forget you? You think I’d forget you? How could I ever? You think I need to see some tree to be reminded of you as if you were some fleeting memory? I may have lived a long, long life, but you were the only significant part of it, the only unyielding brightness I’ve been blessed to watch grow.

  I didn’t think that light would ever fade as we stood before the cherry blossom tree. I thought it would last forever, because I would always be there to protect it. How wrong I was, how terribly, unforgivably wrong I was. That light did fade. It wasn’t slow or gradual; her light just disappeared, because of me.

  I open my eyes, dissolving the dream. I almost laugh. Did you really believe you would become part of your family’s legacy, you hopeless dreamer? You’re not the roots of a tree, the blooming of the blossom, you’re just a body rotting in the ground.

  But now I’m with another Chosen, and you don’t want that, do you, Nara? You’ve come back because you fear I will kill her as I killed you, and because you hope the cherry blossoms that bound the little lion and I are a prelude to your revenge. You shouldn’t have betrayed me then, should you? If you had remained loyal to our dreams then, you wouldn’t have died. But you conformed, didn’t you? You grew frightened of the Imperium without me noticing, and you pretended you were merely fulfilling your duty. What nonsense. You were afraid of our dream, you were afraid of the consequences, and you turned your back on me.

  I roll onto my side.

  ‘Korren, come meet me…’

  How can I? I think. You’re in a place I can never reach.

  LEONIE

  FIRE ON FIRE

  I wrap the blankets around me, sinking into my bed. I’m not aware of the goings-on around me, though I vaguely remember O’Sah
’s presence as the days pass. I keep seeing Korren in my mind, how our souls saw one another, perfectly unbiased. In the moment that we were bound, I felt compelled to be by his side and to stay there forever. But there was more than that. Though I didn’t experience his past, or see it, I felt it: the pain, the suffering, and despite how insignificant it seemed, I felt threads of happiness, of hope. All of these heavy emotions accumulated inside of me, and even now I’m struggling to carry them. It’s like I’ve caught a chilling fever that’s made my body weak and my mind slow, and there is a pain so immense and constantly present within me that I struggle to breathe.

  ‘I’m bringing the kytaen to you.’ I’m not sure when O’Sah said this, but I grabbed him, shouting, ‘No, leave him!’ I know that Korren being by my side will ease the agony I’m feeling, because part of it is to do with him being distant from me, but I also can’t allow him to be near me. Of all the emotions I felt from him on the day of our binding, the most prominent was despair. I know he has to be alone, to mourn, to think, to heal.

  So, as the days pass by, I remain in my bed, shaking and trying to hold firm against the unwavering weight of his memories. And briefly, when the pain allows me, I wonder: what sorrow latches itself so mercilessly onto Korren?

  _________________

  I stuff the food that O’Sah brought to me into my mouth. Two days ill with nothing to eat—I deserve this feast! I come close to choking a few times, O’Sah having to slam his hand against my back, but the food is definitely bringing my energy levels back up.

  Though the burden of Korren’s memories weighs heavily on me, I’ve managed to adapt to them and find them less draining than I did before. The only thing I’m struggling to adapt to is the pain of our distance. He’s so close to me, and yet to me it feels like he’s lost to this world. Without him I feel like I can’t exist. I scoff. I know these feelings aren’t real; they’re a fabrication, part of the bond that forces me to want to be near him. Acknowledging that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

  I look at Pegasus. ‘I’d rather be bound to you, boy. Bet you don’t have any problems besides where to take your morning dump.’

  I knew that Korren had issues the first night we spoke, but I didn’t realise his past was so intense. I’d be an obvious liar if I denied I was curious about his memories, because I do wonder what happened to him. How could he harbour such anguish? It seems impossible for one being to carry around such a burden. Then again, he’s lived for thousands of years, and it’d be a tad naïve of me to think he’s spent all that time without suffering now and then, particularly considering how Chosen treat kytaen.

  There’s a knock on my door and O’Sah enters my room.

  ‘Any news on my dad?’ I say, eyes narrowed.

  ‘Nothing will change until we get to the Imperium, my Lady,’ he says. ‘But I’m certain that once you meet Sebastian Crato he’ll release your father.’

  ‘And I still can’t see my dad?’

  ‘I’m afraid not. That’s not why I’m here, though.’

  ‘If it’s not news about Dad or to discuss more food, I’m not interested in hearing anything you have to say.’

  He sighs. It might be the most human thing he’s ever done. ‘I didn’t want your father to be confined. Your happiness is my only want.’

  ‘And here was me thinking you weren’t a funny guy, O’Sah.’

  ‘…My Lady, do you know why your father was permitted to leave the Imperium and live in the human realm?’

  ‘Of course I don’t. In case you didn’t notice, he never tells me anything.’

  ‘He’s known to some as an oracle. Like telepaths, seers are rare in our world, but even when they do come about, they’re not nearly as capable as your father. When he was a boy, or so I was told, he was made to live in the inner walls of the Imperium, confined to the stargod of time Owahla’s temple.’

  ‘Made to?’

  ‘I imagine no one wants to be locked within walls, my Lady, but the late Divinity was insistent. For a time, he even visited your father every day, trying to learn his future, but your father, though powerful, could only see certain things. The Divinity grew impatient with him and when Orin was much older, he was set free.’

  I think of my dad being confined. I think of the reason he kept me a secret from the Imperium. Was it because he fears them? Yes, he does. The look in his eyes when they came for me was enough proof of that. But to think that he had to live in some stuffy temple all of his boyhood, just on the whim of some guy, albeit an important guy, but still just a guy.

  ‘It was a few years later, more than sixteen years ago now, I think, that he asked the current Divinity to let him live in the human realm,’ O’Sah says. ‘I don’t know why the Divinity allowed it, maybe because he felt somewhat guilty for what his father had done to him, but he was allowed to go and live a life there.

  ‘But Orin did something foolish. As you know, if you’re sent to the human realm, you must have a device inserted into your body so we can track you. Orin had this done, but somehow, and even now after questioning he won’t tell us how, he managed to get rid of it. He went off our radar as soon as he travelled to a country called Australia. At first, trackers searched for him, but the Divinity called it off eventually, saying Orin Woodville was not important. At least, that’s how I heard it. Little did anyone know that he would father a Pulsar, and that giving up on finding him was a grave mistake.

  ‘What’s important for you to know is this, though. Sebastian Crato was the late Council Head Markus Altibi’s official underling back then, his protégé. As a test, Altibi made Crato responsible for finding Orin Woodville. When he could not, and when the Divinity cancelled the search, Altibi blamed Crato for this failure, and dismissed him from duty. When Altibi died, Crato became the Head through vote, but he never forgot how close he was to losing his power.’

  ‘So what you’re saying is’, I begin, ‘that Crato has a personal vendetta against my dad.’

  ‘Yes, one he’s unlikely to let go.’

  ‘But then, isn’t that unfair? Isn’t that abusing his power?’

  O’Sah looks at the floor. I don’t think he can bring himself to reprimand his leader.

  ‘Why would you tell me this?’ I ask him.

  ‘I’m not sure, my Lady. I suppose because you may be able to use it somehow to help your father.’

  I nod. It may help my case. I may be able to use it against Crato if I point out that his personal feelings are getting in the way of his judgement. But I’d be making an enemy out of him, too, and I don’t need to add an enemy to the list I already have. Then again, I’m not going to sit around and let Dad die. I can use this information; I just have to use it in a way that won’t make Crato look weak in front of his nation.

  ‘My Lady, you look sad,’ says O’Sah.

  ‘I do?’

  ‘I’m sorry if I troubled you, it wasn’t my inten—’

  ‘It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve known my dad all my life, and it turns out you know him better than me, and probably more than I ever will.’

  I’m not expecting O’Sah to comfort me, and I don’t want him to either. He may have given me relevant information, but it doesn’t mean I like him. I’m about to thank him, when he stands up.

  ‘I didn’t come here to speak about your father, though, my Lady, if you will excuse my bluntness. It’s about the kytaen. You should go to it now. The thing is sulking out there, acting as if its… one of us.’

  ‘So what? You don’t know what he’s been through.’

  ‘And I don’t care to. All I care about is that you get better. Don’t hold yourself back out of fear of hurting its feelings.’ His lip curls in disgust.

  ‘I’m not afraid of hurting his feelings,’ I say. ‘I’m being respectful of them. But I will go to him. It’s been long enough.’ He can’t hide away forever.

  Once O’Sah’s gone, I go to the en-suite and spend a long time in the shower, enjoying how the water massages my cramp
ed muscles. I dry off and stare at myself in the mirror. My complexion’s still pale and I open my eyes wide to look at my irises. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the burgundy colour, but it’s kind of cool. I tie my hair up, leaving two curly strands to frame my face. Then, once I’m dressed, I gobble down some more food, grab my backpack, and make my way to the shed. As I get near, I feel the string that links Korren and me shortening, and know he’ll be aware that I’m approaching him. That means no turning back, no matter how anxious I feel about facing him. So I put on a façade, the best I can muster, and plaster a grin on my face.

  I slam the shed door open. Korren is waiting for me, and I gulp. He’s radiant; it’s like I’m standing before an ancient being of wonder, and I long to stay by his side, to never part from him. I almost gag. He’s looking at me just as strangely, as if I were another person. There’s a caution in his eyes, probably because he’s aware I have an idea of his past.

  ‘Good morning,’ I say, keeping a grin on my face.

  ‘What do you want?’ he grumbles.

  ‘You, actually. O’Sah and the others say I can’t see my dad for legal reasons. So, I’m going to do the most respectful thing—see my dad.’

  He shakes his head. ‘How exactly is that respectful?’

  ‘Who knows? I would’ve gone on my own, but seeing as I can’t be too far from you without feeling like I’m going to die a slow and excruciating death, I’m thinking that would be impossible. So, you coming? I haven’t got all day. I’m supposed to be meeting with O’Sah soon.’

  ‘You know where your father’s being held?’

  ‘When I was in the middle of feeling like my soul was being ripped into tiny shreds’—I give him a forced smile—‘Magen came to check on me, and I heard them talking. I didn’t know they did that, by the way. They were talking about my dad, and from all the hints they dropped, I learnt where he is.’