A Silver Lining

by Anne Douglas

  Of course, come the night, she guessed she’d be tearful again, thinking of home, but the cure for daytime seemed to be to keep as busy as possible, and there was no problem there.

  Forty-Six

  It was said – the girls had heard it – that senior officers were constantly surprised at the way a group of young women ‘rookies’ could, in only four weeks, be transformed into a smart, well-trained marching squad that could equal that of the men.

  ‘Equal?’ the girls would have cried if they’d had the chance. ‘We’re better than the men!’

  Well, no one would go as far as that but there was no doubt that at the end of their basic training the girls were a credit to their instructors, had mastered all fear of the drill and were even prepared to admit that their introduction to army life hadn’t been as bad as they’d thought it might be.

  Of course, the discipline was always there, and could be irksome – ‘far too much nit-picking and fussing over regulations’ was a common complaint, and why did there have to be so many pamphlets dealing with everything under the sun? When they thought about it, however, it did seem to make sense that every category of army life was covered, which meant you at least knew where you were and could quote ‘regulations’ if need be.

  The best thing for most of the rookies was that as the days went by they got to know one another, made friends and felt a shared comradeship that was particularly helpful, especially if anyone was feeling homesick or worried.

  Sukie, for instance, was still very unsure of herself in the early days, in spite of encouragement from Jinny. But the more she discovered she could do what was required of her the better she performed her tasks and she visibly gained in confidence. It was true she was the despair of the PT instructor, being so small and slight, and seemingly unable to master the handling of the gym equipment, but she did her best and, as Jinny told her cheerfully, there was no question of her being ‘thrown out’ just because she couldn’t leap over the vaulting horse! Plump, good-natured Molly had the same problem, but didn’t let it worry her, and Sukie, who’d done so much better in her new life than she’d ever believed she could, showed her new spirit by not worrying either.

  ‘Everyone’s been so kind,’ she told Jinny. ‘I’m really surprised, you know.’

  ‘Well, apart from a sergeant I won’t name and one or two officers, I think I’d say the same,’ Jinny answered.

  Of course, there were always folk you didn’t like – you just had to put up with them – but on the whole, Jinny found she got on with the people around her very well, learning everyone’s names and backgrounds, and sometimes felt rather sad that at the end of their basic training they would all be saying farewell and moving on. Who knew where?

  By this time, they had all have been assessed for the jobs that would suit them most, with their postings soon to be announced. Then would begin their real work for the army, and they would discover just how much they could offer towards the war effort. Before that happened, however, a dance was organized with the soldiers of one of the Border regiments, and great excitement reigned as the girls gave up worrying about where they might be posted to concentrate instead on looking attractive, finding some decent make-up and getting their hair right.

  ‘But won’t it feel odd to go to a dance wearing uniform?’ asked Verity, frowning. ‘That’ll be a first.’

  ‘Oh, what’s it matter?’ Brenda retorted. ‘We are supposed to be soldiers.’

  ‘When it comes to dancing I don’t feel a soldier at all!’ said Georgina.

  ‘I’m not really looking forward to it,’ Sukie confessed to Jinny, her face taking on her old woebegone look. ‘I’ve never been one for dances.’

  ‘But why not, Sukie?’

  ‘Well, I always think no one will ask me to dance.’

  ‘Oh, what a piece of nonsense, as they say where I come from. The chaps will be sure to ask you.’

  ‘I don’t look like you, Jinny. I … don’t get noticed.’

  ‘All you need is a bit of lipstick and your hair swept off your face and you’ll be fine. Trust me.’

  ‘You always cheer me up,’ Sukie said, managing a smile.

  The dance went well. The soldiers, smart in tartan trews, were eager to see the new ‘talent’, as they called the latest intake of rookies, and wasted no time in taking partners for the opening quickstep, played by a local band. One of the first on the floor, Jinny was gratified to note, was Sukie.

  ‘The lipstick must have done the trick,’ she remarked to Molly, just before they were themselves being asked to dance, at which Molly laughed and told her she’d done a good job there.

  ‘Poor little Sukie – she’s like a different person from the waif that first arrived, thanks to you.’

  ‘Not just me. I think we’ve all been changed by joining up. Shame we’ll lose touch, eh?’

  ‘Let’s see where we get sent – we may meet up again.’

  At that point they parted to join the crowd on the floor, and from then on there wasn’t much time for talking. For one strange moment Jinny thought of Viktor when a tall, fair-haired soldier danced by with Georgina, and though his looks were not really like Viktor’s, they were similar enough to make Jinny catch her breath and feel the familiar stab of pain for lost love she always felt when she remembered Viktor.

  ‘Hey, penny for ’em!’ asked her partner, a ginger-haired corporal, having noticed the far-away look in her eyes. ‘Where’ve you gone, then?’

  ‘Oh, sorry, I was just remembering something—’

  ‘Something you should’ve done?’

  ‘No, no.’ She gave a quick smile. ‘Nothing to worry about.’

  ‘That’s a relief. You’re supposed to be enjoying yourself, you know.’

  ‘And I am!’

  When the music drew to a close and they stood clapping, Jinny felt it was true, she was enjoying herself – as long as she did not look back.

  The interval brought a curtain of cigarette smoke and the usual thin coffee and thick sandwiches, but as the drill hall had no licence there was no alcohol, which meant everyone behaved themselves, laughing and flirting until the band struck up again.

  ‘Oh, I’m having such a good time,’ Sukie whispered to Jinny before she returned to the floor with the cheerful young soldier who had first asked her to dance. ‘You were so right, you know. Right about everything.’

  ‘Oh, that’s me!’ laughed Jinny. ‘Always get things right – I don’t think!’

  Still, when she and the rest of the girls were dancing again and she was being careful not to think about anything but the present, it did seem to Jinny that so far her new life was working out well. ‘So far’, however, being the key words here. So much depended on where she and the others were sent next, and they wouldn’t know that till Monday, they’d been told.

  But when Monday came and Jinny knew where she was going, she rather wished she didn’t.

  Forty-Seven

  ‘Royal Army Pay Corps,’ she told her family when she arrived home for a week’s leave and had put aside her uniform for a pretty dress. ‘Can you believe it? I spend half my time in Civvy Street doing wages, and when I join up for a new life where do I get posted? The Pay Corps!’

  Josh and Vi, who’d taken time off work to welcome Jinny home, exchanged glances with May, who’d come over from the hospital where she was now working as a nurses’ aide, the hat shop having closed for the ‘duration’.

  ‘Seems to make sense to me,’ Vi observed, shaking the teapot before topping up Jinny’s cup. ‘I mean, you won’t need much training, will you?’

  ‘That’s right,’ said Josh. ‘And they probably thought you’d be good at the work.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know, I think I agree with Jinny,’ put in May. ‘When you sign up for a new life you don’t expect to be doing the same old thing.’

  ‘It might be quite different work,’ Vi suggested. ‘Maybe more interesting. Where did other girls get posted, anyway?’

  ‘Oh, al
l over the place,’ answered Jinny, thinking back to that day when everyone found out where they were heading. How Sukie had been told she’d be joining the Royal Army Ordnance Corps to be dealing with all kinds of stores and was delighted, while Verity and Georgina would both be doing anti-aircraft work with the Royal Artillery and declared themselves thrilled. As for Brenda and Molly, their postings appeared to be top secret, probably deciphering codes, others had guessed, but they were both brainy girls so it was expected that they’d be selected for something like that.

  In fact, the whole intake seemed to be going to do something interesting, except for Jinny, who sighed as she thought about it.

  ‘Daresay I was the only one who wasn’t too excited, but I expect it’ll work out all right,’ she said lightly. ‘Like Vi says, the work might be different from what I did before. I’d better not complain.’

  ‘Shame you can’t work in Scotland, though,’ said Josh. ‘Are there no pay offices here, then?’

  ‘Oh, they never like to send you close to home,’ Jinny told him. ‘So I’m going to Chester in Western Command. There’ll be ATSs there, but any men’ll probably be unfit for combat – so I’ve been told. They’ve probably been wounded. Not badly enough to be invalided out, but not able to fight.’

  A silence fell as they all considered Allan, who had yet to be tried in battle, but who must face it sooner or later and then must trust to luck. Better not think about it.

  ‘I should get back to the ward,’ May said, rising with a sigh. ‘But it’s been so lovely to see you again, Jinny. That four weeks you were away seemed like forever.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ muttered Josh, also getting up. ‘I’ll be away and all, but it’ll be grand to think you’ll be here, pet, when I come back for tea. Come here and give me a hug, eh?’

  ‘It’s grand to be back,’ said Jinny, hugging and kissing May and her father. ‘Can’t tell you how I missed home to begin with. Your letters were a big help, but the tears were often flowing, I can tell you!’

  ‘And to think you needn’t have gone yet,’ commented Josh, shaking his head. ‘But that’s water under the bridge, eh? You’re in the service now, and it seems to suit you. Did they get you marching in your training?’

  ‘You bet, and we thought we beat the fellows hollow!’ Jinny laughed. ‘Oh, it was all a lot better than I thought it would be. I made some good friends and we had some grand times.’

  ‘So, I’ve nothing to fear?’ asked Vi, shrugging. ‘I won’t do as well as you, Jinny. I’m not your easy type, that’s for sure, but I am wishing I could get away like you and do something useful.’

  ‘Oh, don’t say it,’ groaned Josh, making for the door. ‘I don’t want to lose you as well!’

  ‘Away with you, Dad! I’m not going yet, anyway. May, will you come back for your tea? I’m cooking for Jinny tonight – and yes, it’s fish!’

  ‘Oh, yes, I’ll be back!’ cried May as she and Josh hurriedly left and Jinny stood up, stretching, and said she’d unpack her few things.

  ‘Nice to be back in civvies again – do you know, we had to wear our uniforms for the dance – they were all we had.’

  ‘So, you went to dances?’ asked Vi. ‘They wouldn’t be for me, but – don’t tell Dad – I’ve changed my mind and am seriously thinking of volunteering. It might be some time before they start conscripting women and I want to get on with it.’

  ‘As I said, you’ll enjoy it, Vi, as I have so far, but still, you know, it’s grand to be home.’ Jinny smiled. ‘And I’ve a whole week here before I need worry about the Pay Corps. Tomorrow I think I’ll look in on Comrie’s – see if the place hasn’t fallen down without me, eh?’

  In the bedroom where her bag was waiting to be unpacked, she first opened the little drawer under the dressing-table mirror where she kept her few pieces that were precious. Her mother’s locket, a last present, was there, with a necklace or two and a ring that had been her grandmother’s, but what Jinny was taking out now was the Edelweiss brooch Viktor had given her. Every so often she liked to look at it, though she never wore it and certainly would not take it with her on her ATS posting.

  Why remind herself of happiness that was gone? She couldn’t answer that, except perhaps that she felt it was right not to block everything from her mind. She didn’t actually know what had happened to Viktor. They could still meet after the war, even though that might be years away, and if it was true his image had faded, the memory of it could still surprise her. Take Saturday night, when she’d seen the fair-haired soldier dancing with Georgina and been reminded of Viktor. How that look had sparked off the old pain again, until she’d been brought back to the present! Just as the lovely Edelweiss was bringing it back now.

  After a moment, Jinny replaced it in its box and turned to begin her unpacking. It was strange to be at home again, the training camp already a memory! As she put away her few things she purposefully began to sing a popular song, reassuring herself that she felt better, able to look forward to the future. There was no point at all in thinking about the past.

  Forty-Eight

  Comrie’s. There it was, in busy Princes Street, looking not too different from when she’d last seen it. Jinny, smart in a dark green dress and navy jacket, stood for a moment looking at her old workplace, remembering how things had used to be. Of course, by the time she’d left, change had already come – the windows were almost empty instead of displaying the selections of mouth-watering scones and cakes as in pre-war days, the staff so reduced in size as almost to be described as ‘skeleton’.

  And now there was something she’d never seen before outside Comrie’s and that was a queue. The shop had always been busy, of course, the girls kept on their feet serving so many customers, but queues? No, there’d never been queues, but Jinny knew she should have expected one. Queues in wartime were a fact of life, especially for food. At the baker’s, at the butcher’s, at the grocer’s, for if you could reckon on receiving foods that were rationed, any extras in short supply had to be queued for, which made life difficult for those at work, such as Vi.

  ‘Had to take time off to get that fish we had,’ she told Jinny. ‘There’s something to be said for being in the forces, eh? All food found!’

  ‘Such as it is!’ Jinny had retorted.

  Feeling a little self-conscious now, she was wondering how she could get into the shop to say hello to the staff without being accused of queue-jumping. People were said to be cheerful about the problems of their changed lives, but some of the women outside Comrie’s were looking pretty glum – Jinny doubted that they’d take kindly to a girl pushing ahead and trying to take their place, as they would see it. Still, she’d have to get in somehow.

  Plucking up courage, she spoke to those at the front of the queue.

  ‘Mind if I go in? I don’t want to buy anything, I’m on leave from the ATS and just here to see the people I worked with.’

  Without smiling they stared at her, taking in her great dark eyes, her pretty dress and jacket, and then looked at one another.

  ‘Aye, let the lassie in,’ one said. ‘She’s doing her bit, eh?’

  ‘Go on, then,’ another said, ‘but if we catch you putting any teacakes into that handbag of yours, you’ll be for it!’

  ‘There was laughter as Jinny said, ‘No teacakes, I promise!’ and with a relieved laugh made her way into the shop.

  Inside, there were still people queuing right up to the counter, where Joan and a young girl Jinny didn’t know were darting about, putting items into paper bags, while Mrs Arrow was calling in a sergeant major’s voice: ‘Only one fruit pie per customer, please. We’re going to run out as it is.’

  ‘And what’s the good of one wee fruit pie for a family?’ someone in the queue demanded.

  Mrs Arrow retorted, ‘Take it or leave it! We can’t sell what we haven’t got.’

  ‘The pastry’s just like cardboard, anyway,’ another voice muttered, and there were sighs and laughter, but by then Mrs Arrow
had spotted Jinny and rushed round the counter to greet her.

  ‘Jinny, is it really you – looking that well, eh? My, it’s grand to see you!’

  ‘I’ve only been away a month,’ Jinny murmured, embarrassed, ‘though it does feel like more!’

  ‘Well, we’re really pleased to see you, anyway. Still got Joan, you see?’

  ‘Hello, Joan!’ cried Jinny, waving, as Joan looked up from putting a large pallid loaf into a flimsy paper bag and smiled, as the unknown young girl, thin and fair, smiled too.

  ‘That’s Peggy,’ Mrs Arrow whispered. ‘A school-leaver I managed to get, not doing too badly, though terrified of the customers. But just imagine what it’s like trying to satisfy ’em, Jinny. It’s terrible, I’m telling you! I mean, take thae fruit pies – there’s never enough and it’s true what they say, ‘the pastry’s just like cardboard’, but we canna get the ingredients to make it any better, and Mr Whyte feels that bad. Even the fruit’s out o’ tins and nobody’d eat it if there wasn’t a war on, but there you are, we have to do the best we can, eh?’

  ‘I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job, Mrs Arrow, and it’s grand to see you, it really is.’

  ‘I wish I could give you a cup o’ tea, but as you can see, we’re rushed off our feet—’

  ‘That’s quite all right—’ Jinny was beginning when her eyes widened and her lips parted as a copper-haired man in a sports jacket and tweed trousers came into the shop from the stairs, and Mrs Arrow waved.

  ‘Ross, look who’s here!’ she cried. ‘Jinny’s come visiting, too!’

  ‘Jinny?’ he cried.

  ‘Ross?’

  Like the old friends they were, they hugged and shook hands, then burst out laughing.

  ‘Talk about snap!’ said Ross. ‘I never thought to see you here, Jinny, and looking so well. You’re a sight for sore eyes!’

  ‘And you’re looking well, too, Ross. Are you on leave, then?’