The Complete Dramatic Works of Samuel Beckett
Page 11
NAGG: Me sugar-plum!
CLOV: There’s a rat in the kitchen!
HAMM: A rat! Are there still rats?
CLOV: In the kitchen there’s one.
HAMM: And you haven’t exterminated him?
CLOV: Half. You disturbed us.
HAMM: He can’t get away?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: You’ll finish him later. Let us pray to God.
CLOV: Again!
NAGG: Me sugar-plum!
HAMM: God first! [Pause.] Are you right?
CLOV: [Resigned.] Off we go.
HAMM: [To NAGG.] And you?
NAGG: [Clasping his hands, closing his eyes, in a gabble.] Our Father which art –
HAMM: Silence! In silence! Where are your manners? [Pause.] Off we go. [Attitudes of prayer. Silence. Abandoning his attitude, discouraged.] Well?
CLOV: [Abandoning his attitude.] What a hope! And you?
HAMM: Sweet damn all! [To NAGG.] And you?
NAGG: Wait! [Pause. Abandoning his attitude.] Nothing doing!
HAMM: The bastard! He doesn’t exist!
CLOV: Not yet.
NAGG: Me sugar-plum!
HAMM: There are no more sugar-plums!
[Pause.]
NAGG: It’s natural. After all I’m your father. It’s true if it hadn’t been me it would have been someone else. But that’s no excuse. [Pause.] Turkish Delight, for example, which no longer exists, we all know that, there is nothing in the world I love more. And one day I’ll ask you for some, in return for a kindness, and you’ll promise it to me. One must live with the times. [Pause.] Whom did you call when you were a tiny boy, and were frightened, in the dark? Your mother? No. Me. We let you cry. Then we moved you out of earshot, so that we might sleep in peace. [Pause.] I was asleep, as happy as a king, and you woke me up to have me listen to you. It wasn’t indispensable, you didn’t really need to have me listen to you. Besides I didn’t listen to you. [Pause.] I hope the day will come when you’ll really need to have me listen to you, and need to hear my voice, any voice. [Pause.] Yes, I hope I’ll live till then, to hear you calling me like when you were a tiny boy, and were frightened, in the dark, and I was your only hope. [Pause, NAGG knocks on lid of NELL’s bin. Pause.] Nell! [Pause. He knocks louder. Pause. Louder.] Nell! [Pause, NAGG sinks back into his bin, closes the lid behind him. Pause.]
HAMM: Our revels now are ended. [He gropes for the dog.] The dog’s gone.
CLOV: He’s not a real dog, he can’t go.
HAMM: [Groping.] He’s not there.
CLOV: He’s lain down.
HAMM: Give him up to me. [CLOV picks up the dog and gives it to HAMM. HAMM holds it in his arms. Pause, HAMM throws away the dog.] Dirty brute! [CLOV begins to pick up the objects lying on the ground.] What are you doing?
CLOV: Putting things in order. [He straightens up. Fervently.] I’m going to clear everything away!
[He starts picking up again.]
HAMM: Order!
CLOV: [Straightening up.] I love order. It’s my dream. A world where all would be silent and still and each thing in its last place, under the last dust.
[He starts picking up again.]
HAMM: [Exasperated.] What in God’s name do you think you are doing?
CLOV: [Straightening up.] I’m doing my best to create a little order.
HAMM: Drop it!
[CLOV drops the objects he has picked up.]
CLOV: After all, there or elsewhere.
[He goes towards door.]
HAMM: [Irritably.] What’s wrong with your feet?
CLOV: My feet?
HAMM: Tramp! Tramp!
CLOV: I must have put on my boots.
HAMM: Your slippers were hurting you?
[Pause.]
CLOV: I’ll leave you.
HAMM: No!
CLOV: What is there to keep me here?
HAMM: The dialogue. [Pause.] I’ve got on with my story. [Pause.] I’ve got on with it well. [Pause. Irritably.] Ask me where I’ve got to.
CLOV: Oh, by the way, your story?
HAMM: [Surprised.] What story?
CLOV: The one you’ve been telling yourself all your … days.
HAMM: Ah you mean my chronicle?
CLOV: That’s the one.
[Pause.]
HAMM: [Angrily.] Keep going, can’t you, keep going!
CLOV: You’ve got on with it, I hope.
HAMM: [Modestly.] Oh not very far, not very far. [He sighs.] There are days like that, one isn’t inspired. [Pause.] Nothing you can do about it, just wait for it to come. [Pause.] No forcing, no forcing, it’s fatal. [Pause.] I’ve got on with it a little all the same. [Pause.] Technique, you know. [Pause. Irritably.] I say I’ve got on with it a little all the same.
CLOV: [Admiringly.] Well I never! In spite of everything you were able to get on with it!
HAMM: [Modestly.] Oh not very far, you know, not very far, but nevertheless, better than nothing.
CLOV: Better than nothing! Is it possible?
HAMM: I’ll tell you how it goes. He comes crawling on his belly –
CLOV: Who?
HAMM: What?
CLOV: Who do you mean, he?
HAMM: Who do I mean! Yet another.
CLOV: Ah him! I wasn’t sure.
HAMM: Crawling on his belly, whining for bread for his brat. He’s offered a job as gardener. Before – [CLOV bursts out laughing.] What is there so funny about that?
CLOV: A job as gardener!
HAMM: Is that what tickles you?
CLOV: It must be that.
HAMM: It wouldn’t be the bread?
CLOV: Or the brat.
[Pause.]
HAMM: The whole thing is comical, I grant you that. What about having a good guffaw the two of us together?
CLOV: [After reflection.] I couldn’t guffaw again today.
HAMM: [After reflection.] Nor I. [Pause.] I continue then. Before accepting with gratitude he asks if he may have his little boy with him.
CLOV: What age?
HAMM: Oh tiny.
CLOV: He would have climbed the trees.
HAMM: All the little odd jobs.
CLOV: And then he would have grown up.
HAMM: Very likely.
[Pause.]
CLOV: Keep going, can’t you, keep going!
HAMM: That’s all. I stopped there.
[Pause.]
CLOV: Do you see how it goes on.
HAMM: More or less.
CLOV: Will it not soon be the end?
HAMM: I’m afraid it will.
CLOV: Pah! You’ll make up another.
HAMM: I don’t know. [Pause.] I feel rather drained. [Pause.] The prolonged creative effort. [Pause.] If I could drag myself down to the sea! I’d make a pillow of sand for my head and the tide would come.
CLOV: There’s no more tide.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Go and see is she dead.
[CLOV goes to bins, raises the lid of NELL’s, stoops, looks into it. Pause.]
CLOV: Looks like it.
[He closes the lid, straightens up. HAMM raises his toque. Pause. He puts it on again.]
HAMM: [With his hand to his toque.] And Nagg?
[CLOV raises lid of NAGG’s bin, stoops, looks into it. Pause.]
CLOV: Doesn’t look like it.
[He closes the lid, straightens up.]
HAMM: [Letting go his toque.] What’s he doing?
[CLOV raises lid of NAGG’s bin, stoops, looks into it. Pause.]
CLOV: He’s crying.
[He closes the lid, straightens up.]
HAMM: Then he’s living. [Pause.] Did you ever have an instant of happiness?
CLOV: Not to my knowledge.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Bring me under the window, [CLOV goes towards chair.] I want to feel the light on my face, [CLOV pushes chair.] Do you remember, in the beginning, when you took me for a turn? You used to hold the chair too high. At every step you nearly tipped me out. [With senile
quaver.] Ah great fun, we had, the two of us, great fun! [Gloomily.] And then we got into the way of it. [CLOV stops the chair under window right.] There already? [Pause. He tilts back his head.] Is it light?
CLOV: It isn’t dark.
HAMM: [Angrily.] I’m asking you is it light?
CLOV: Yes.
[Pause.]
HAMM: The curtain isn’t closed?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: What window is it?
CLOV: The earth.
HAMM: I knew it! [Angrily.] But there’s no light there! The other! [CLOV pushes chair towards window left.] The earth! [CLOV stops the chair under window left, HAMM tilts back his head.] That’s what I call light! [Pause.] Feels like a ray of sunshine. [Pause.] No?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: It isn’t a ray of sunshine I feel on my face?
CLOV: No.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Am I very white? [Pause. Angrily.] I’m asking you am I very white!
CLOV: Not more so than usual.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Open the window.
CLOV: What for?
HAMM: I want to hear the sea.
CLOV: You wouldn’t hear it.
HAMM: Even if you opened the window?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: Then it’s not worth while opening it?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: [Violently.] Then open it! [CLOV gets up on the ladder, opens the window. Pause.] Have you opened it? clov: Yes.
[Pause.]
HAMM: You swear you’ve opened it?
CLOV: Yes.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Well …! [Pause.] It must be very calm. [Pause. Violently.] I’m asking you is it very calm?
CLOV: Yes.
HAMM: It’s because there are no more navigators. [Pause.] You haven’t much conversation all of a sudden. Do you not feel well?
CLOV: I’m cold.
HAMM: What month are we? [Pause.] Close the window, we’re going back, [CLOV closes the window, gets down, pushes the chair back to its place, remains standing behind it, head bowed.] Don’t stay there, you give me the shivers! [CLOV returns to his place beside the chair.] Father! [Pause. Louder.] Father! [Pause.] Go and see did he hear me.
[CLOV goes to NAGG’s bin, raises the lid, stoops. Unintelligible words, CLOV straightens up.]
CLOV: Yes.
HAMM: Both times?
[CLOV stoops. As before.]
CLOV: Once only.
HAMM: The first time or the second?
[CLOV stoops. As before.]
CLOV: He doesn’t know.
HAMM: It must have been the second.
CLOV: We’ll never know.
[He closes lid.]
HAMM: Is he still crying?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: The dead go fast. [Pause.] What’s he doing?
CLOV: Sucking his biscuit.
HAMM: Life goes on. [CLOV returns to his place beside the chair.] Give me a rug, I’m freezing.
CLOV: There are no more rugs.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Kiss me. [Pause.] Will you not kiss me?
CLOV: No.
HAMM: On the forehead.
CLOV: I won’t kiss you anywhere.
[Pause.]
HAMM: [Holding out his hand.] Give me your hand at least. [Pause.] Will you not give me your hand?
CLOV: I won’t touch you.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Give me the dog. [CLOV looks round for the dog.] No!
CLOV: Do you not want your dog?
HAMM: No.
CLOV: Then I’ll leave you.
HAMM: [Head bowed, absently.] That’s right.
[CLOV goes to door, turns.]
CLOV: If I don’t kill that rat he’ll die.
HAMM: [As before.] That’s right. [Exit CLOV. Pause.] Me to play. [He takes out his handkerchief, unfolds it, holds it spread out before him.] We’re getting on. [Pause.] You weep, and weep, for nothing, so as not to laugh, and little by little … you begin to grieve. [He folds the handkerchief, puts it back in his pocket, raises his head.] All those I might have helped. [Pause.] Helped! [Pause.] Saved. [Pause.] Saved! [Pause.] The place was crawling with them! [Pause. Violently.] Use your head, can’t you, use your head, you’re on earth, there’s no cure for that! [Pause.] Get out of here and love one another! Lick your neighbour as yourself! [Pause. Calmer.] When it wasn’t bread they wanted it was crumpets. [Pause. Violently.] Out of my sight and back to your petting parties! [Pause.] All that, all that! [Pause.] Not even a real dog! [Calmer.] The end is in the beginning and yet you go on. [Pause.] Perhaps I could go on with my story, end it and begin another. [Pause.] Perhaps I could throw myself out on the floor. [He pushes himself painfully off his seat, falls back again.] Dig my nails into the cracks and drag myself forward with my fingers. [Pause.] It will be the end and there I’ll be, wondering what can have brought it on and wondering What can have … [he hesitates] … why it was so long coming. [Pause.] There I’ll be, in the old refuge, alone against the silence and … [he hesitates] … the stillness. If I can hold my peace, and sit quiet, it will be all over with sound, and motion, all over and done with. [Pause.] I’ll have called my father and I’ll have called my … [he hesitates] … my son. And even twice, or three times, in case they shouldn’t have heard me, the first time, or the second. [Pause.] I’ll say to myself, He’ll come back. [Pause.] And then? [Pause.] And then? [Pause.] He couldn’t, he has gone too far. [Pause.] And then? [Pause. Very agitated.] All kinds of fantasies! That I’m being watched! A rat! Steps! Breath held and then … [he breathes out.] Then babble, babble, words, like the solitary child who turns himself into children, two, three, so as to be together, and whisper together, in the dark. [Pause.] Moment upon moment, pattering down, like the millet grains of … [he hesitates] … that old Greek, and all life long you wait for that to mount up to a life. [Pause. He opens his mouth to continue, renounces.] Ah let’s get it over! [He whistles. Enter CLOV with alarm-clock. He halts beside the chair.] What? Neither gone nor dead?
CLOV: In spirit only.
HAMM: Which?
CLOV: Both.
HAMM: Gone from me you’d be dead.
CLOV: And vice versa.
HAMM: Outside of here it’s death! [Pause.] And the rat?
CLOV: He’s got away.
HAMM: He can’t go far. [Pause. Anxious.] Eh?
CLOV: He doesn’t need to go far.
[Pause.]
HAMM: Is it not time for my pain-killer?
CLOV: Yes.
HAMM: Ah! At last! Give it to me! Quick!
[Pause.]
CLOV: There’s no more pain-killer.
[Pause.]
HAMM: [Appalled.] Good …! [Pause.] No more pain-killer!
CLOV: No more pain-killer. You’ll never get any more pain-killer.
[Pause.]
HAMM: But the little round box. It was full!
CLOV: Yes. But now it’s empty.
[Pause. CLOV starts to move about the room. He is looking for a place to put down the alarm-clock.]
HAMM: [Soft.] What’ll I do? [Pause. In a scream.] What’ll I do?
[CLOV sees the picture, takes it down, stands it on the floor with its face to wall, hangs up the alarm-clock in its place.]
What are you doing?
CLOV: Winding up.
HAMM: Look at the earth.
CLOV: Again!
HAMM: Since it’s calling to you.
CLOV: is your throat sore? [Pause.] Would you like a lozenge? [Pause.] No? [Pause.] Pity.
[CLOV goes, humming, towards window right, halts before it, looks up at it.]
HAMM: Don’t sing.
CLOV: [Turning towards HAMM.] One hasn’t the right to sing any more?
HAMM: No.
CLOV: Then how can it end?
HAMM: You want it to end?
CLOV: I want to sing.
HAMM: I can’t prevent you.
[Pause, CLOV turns towards window right.]
CLOV: What did
I do with that steps? [He looks round for ladder.] You didn’t see that steps? [He sees it.] Ah, about time. [He goes towards window left.] Sometimes I wonder if I’m in my right mind. Then it passes over and I’m as lucid as before. [He gets up on ladder, looks out of window.] Christ, she’s under water! [He looks.] How can that be? [He pokes forward his head, his hand above his eyes.] It hasn’t rained. [He wipes the pane, looks. Pause.] Ah what a mug I am! I’m on the wrong side! [He gets down, take a few steps towards window right.] Under water! [He goes back for ladder.] What a mug I am! [He carries ladder towards window right.] Sometimes I wonder if I’m in my right senses. Then it passes off and I’m as intelligent as ever. [He sets down ladder under window right, gets up on it, looks out of window. He turns towards HAMM.] Any particular sector you fancy? Or merely the whole thing?