Smile for Me (A Young Adult Romance)

by T. J. Dell

  “Why?”

  Okay—it stil bothers me a little. I unwrap the plastic fork before answering her. “If you must know, I was trying to impress you.”

  “Why?”

  Instead of answering I just raise my eyebrows at her.

  “Wel I am more impressed by al the coaching you’ve given me than by chopsticks. Even if you had been using them correctly, which you weren’t.”

  “Do you always end compliments with insults?”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  The crazy thing is that she looked like that was true. She realy didn’t realize there was anything wrong with her statement. I decided to let it drop, and we finish our food in silence.

  “There is something else we should discuss, you know”

  “I know. I appreciated al the help. Please just let me know how much I owe you.” Hearing this, I take a few moments to remind myself that she isn’t being intentionaly insulting. “I don’t want your money, Kim.”

  “Oh. Maybe we could trade. Tutoring for coaching?”

  “No!” Okay so I am having trouble hanging on to that socially awkward excuse for her. “What I mean Kim, is that I don’t need a tutor. I was going to ask you about your song—for tomorrow’s audition.”

  “I’m going to sing when you wish upon a star. Why are you looking at me that way? Should I pick something else?”

  “No, Kim Penney. I think that wil be perfect. You just surprised me that’s al.”

  “Is this your thing about whimsy again?” She sounds so disdainful that I choose to ignore her question.

  “Do you want to run through the song with me?”

  I am floored. Kim Penney is the most incredible singer. I know I have heard this song before, but I don’t remember it ever being so powerful. If I were a chick I would even say I was moved, but as I am a guy I wil stick with powerful. How or why has she been keeping this a secret? Our school has a fairly accomplished chorus—she should be a part of that.

  Kim closes her eyes when she sings. On stage this is a bad idea; here in my kitchen it’s great, because I can openly stare at her al I want. Al the social rules of respecting a woman’s space, which my mother has been driling into me since she caught me chasing Amy Miler around the playground when I was four, fly out of my mind. Almost involuntarily, I find myself closing the distance between us. I am only two steps away from doing something realy dumb—like stopping her song with a kiss—when her cel phone buzzes to life next to us on the table. I jump back away from her.

  “It’s just Paul.” Kim silences her phone, but the moment is gone.

  How creepy is it that I wish I had a recording of her singing to me? If it is very creepy, please forget I mentioned it. “Oh. I wasn’t sure you two were stil… an item.”

  “What? Oh yeah, of course we are.”

  “Do you want me to give you some privacy? To cal him back?”

  “Oh no. He was just caling to check in. He does that every couple of days.”

  Okay—normaly I would feel bad about making a play for someone else’s girl. But realy—every couple of days? And she isn’t exactly worried about caling him back. I have decided that ignoring Paul’s claim on her isn’t worth losing sleep over. So sad, too bad buddy.

  “Marshal? Are you listening to me?”

  Crap. “What? Oh, of course. What did you say?”

  “I asked what you thought—wil it be okay?”

  It takes me a minute, but I finaly figure out Kim is talking about her song. “It was perfect, Kim. You are an amazing singer.”

  “I took voice lessons when I was a kid. I had a lisp.”

  “Wel, it was worth it. Just open your eyes when you’re onstage, okay?”

  It is pretty late now so Kim packs up her stuff and I walk her home. “You don’t have to walk me across the street Marshal. I doubt the boogie man is lurking in my bushes.”

  “Did you just make a joke?” Surprise surprise—Kim Penney has a sense of humor.

  “It’s been known to happen. Thanks again, for helping me out.” I choose not to mention that this is the first time she’s thanked me. “Are you coming to the auditions tomorrow?”

  I am supposed to work at Slices after school tomorrow, but you should see her face. It is almost needy. I am addicted to this feeling I get Kim looks at me that way. “I wouldn’t miss it.” I wil just have to be late. “Good night, Kim Penney.”

  “Good night, Marshal Henries.”

  Chapter Five

  “I punched in for you twenty minutes ago.” Mandy hisses at me when I rush through the door at work.

  “Thanks. I got caught at auditions.”

  “With Kim?”

  I am not sure if I should feel bad about that. I wish Jason had never told me about Mandy’s feelings. “Kim was there, yes.”

  “I’m glad. She needs to have some fun.” Mandy isn’t facing me. She’s piling plates onto her tray. So I can’t see her expression. I like Mandy a lot. I hope this isn’t going to get weird.

  “I agree.”

  The rest of the afternoon is busy. Slices isn’t very big, so it doesn’t take much to make us busy. Most of our orders are for delivery or carryout, but we do have a smal dining room. The tables are old, the chairs are mismatched, and there is more than one strip of duct tape on the booths. None of that matters much though, because the food is good and there is an arcade area that is very popular with the middle school crowd. I stil hold the Ms. Pac-Man high score I set when I was twelve. I won’t tel you how many quarters and Friday afternoons that cost me at the time, but I wil say that it was totaly worth it.

  Mandy and I work realy wel when we wait tables together. I guess after doing it al summer we have developed kind of a system. The tips are always better when we keep an eye on each other’s sections. I am especialy appreciative for her help today, because I am a little distracted.

  No matter how I try I can’t seem to get Kim off my mind. Big surprise right? I could tel she was nervous when she stepped out on that stage today. But I bet I am the only one who could tel. After watching her perform the same one minute bit over and over again I feel like I could spot her nervous from a mile away. She did great, though. Her monologue was fine, but her song was spectacular. I swear one minute that room was filed with teenagers gossiping or practicing their own audition pieces, and from Kim’s first note the whole room went silent.

  Kim Penney Fantasy of the Day #2 (I am keeping #1 to myself today): After Patterson thanks Kim she would have jumped off the stage and run right to me. I’d hug her and tell her how awesome she did.

  “It’s all thanks to you, Marshall. You are my hero.”

  “Any time Kim Penney, any time.” I would be so suave— all confident and smiling. She would let me leave one arm wrapped around her shoulders as we walked to the parking lot. My truck would be shiny and clean and have a FULL tank of gas. In the truck she would slide to the middle so she could lean into my shoulder while I drove.

  In my fantasy I would not be rushing off to work. I think that we would be driving off into the sunset or something else equally romantic.

  In reality—she exited the stage on the opposite side from where I was standing without so much as a glance in my direction. I probably could have made it here on time, but I waited around for Kim to come back, and she didn’t. Why does she do this to me? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let it matter so much? If I had any sense at al I would take Claire up any one of her many invitations. Or at the very least I would ask out Mandy.

  ***

  I almost didn’t stop at Kim’s locker this morning. I was almost decided on walking right past and maybe even sitting in the back row during history. But then at the last moment I remembered watching her with those damn chopsticks and for whatever reason that made up my mind. So here I am waiting and holding blueberry tea in a pink cup like an idiot.

  “Marshal!” Kim looks genuinely surprised to see me. It is as though this hasn’t been my first stop every
morning for more than a week now.

  “Kim!” I return her surprise a little mockingly, but hold out the tea anyway.

  “I thought… wel I didn’t think I’d see you today.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Wel… yesterday….” Her sentence drops off and she smels the cup. Why does she always seem to be so worried I am going to poison her?

  “Yesterday I was late for work, because I wanted to watch your audition.” I finish for her.

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Sorry that you ran off without even acknowledging me?” If she is going to apologize I am al for forgiveness.

  “No. I am sorry I messed it up. You worked so hard—I pretty much blew it.”

  I am wavering between being angry that she doesn’t feel bad about running off on me, and being… wel whatever that tenderness churning in my gut is. “You didn’t blow it, Kim. It was good.”

  “So you think I wil make the cast?”

  “I am sure of it.”

  “Good. Aren’t you ever late to class?” I guess that is the end of discussing yesterday.

  “Every morning, lately. Why? Are you worried about me?”

  “Wel I don’t think it is particularly responsible to walk into class late.”

  “Friday, Patterson wil be posting the cast list in the activities halway before first period. Want to meet there?” I ignore her dig about responsibility.

  “Sure.”

  ***

  “So?” I turn around when I hear her; Kim is looking at me looking at the list.

  I have to admit—I’ve already looked. I got here, and I tried to wait for Kim but I couldn’t help myself. I am super psyched to be playing Benny. And I want to be happy for Kim, but I am not at al sure how she’s going to take the news. In some ways Kim is very unpredictable.

  “Wel. You made the list!” I offer her my biggest smile—the one I use on mom to get out of doing the dishes on casserole night.

  Kim relaxes her shoulders in what I am guessing is relief. Most high school girls are very vocal and demonstrative when it comes to … wel everything. Not Kim. I used to think that she only experienced various shades of staid and responsible, but now I know there is a whole rainbow of human emotion hiding in there.

  “Good. Thanks, Marshal.” She turns to walk away. I wil probably never figure this girl out.

  “Don’t you want to know what part you got?”

  “Oh. Of course.” She stops and turns to face me again. I swear this is the first time that has occurred to her. Like she never thought past actualy making it to the list.

  “Trish. You are playing Trish—that’s Patterson’s version of Beatrice.” Do you remember how I was teling you that I like when Kim Penney does things that surprise me? Wel, that isn’t always true.

  Surprise. Kim drops her bag on the floor and flies into the girls’ bathroom.

  After a smal amount of hesitation (it is the girls’ room after al) I pick up her bag and folow her in. A girl so short that she must be in the ninth grade is standing at the sink. She takes one look at me and runs out faster than a scared rabbit. There is a flushing noise. “Kim?” I try not to cal too loudly.

  “This is the ladies’ room.” Kim’s voice seems to be coming from the last stal; the metal door is hanging open. Looking down, I can see her rubber-soled-low-heeled-lunch-lady shoes sticking out the door. From the position of her feet and legs I am sure she is kneeling on the floor.

  “I am aware of that. Can I come in there?”

  “There is realy only room for one.”

  I take a chance and swing the door open wider. Sure enough she is kneeling with her head over the toilet like she is going to puke, or maybe she already did.

  “I don’t take up as much room as you might think. What’s the matter?”

  “I can’t be Beatrice.”

  “Technicaly, you are Trish.” Not even a chuckle. The school bathrooms are pretty clean, but I stil wouldn’t want to be kneeling on the floor in one—so I pul off my hoodie and push it under her knees. “Do you want me to get the school nurse?”

  “No. I’m done.”

  “Did you throw up?”

  “Obviously.” She shoots me a mean look. At least sarcastic is better than crying. “Sometimes I do that when I’m nervous, or stressed, or sad, or… wel you get the point.”

  “I’m starting to.” A thought is growing in my mind. “Is this why you ran off on after your audition?”

  “Yup.” She’s blushing red, but that is better than the shade of green she was a moment ago.

  “Wel that’s a relief. I thought you were avoiding me.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t be Beatrice. What is Mr. Patterson thinking?”

  “Probably, that this is a musical and that you are the most phenomenal singer that tried out.”

  “I’m not a good actress.”

  “You aren’t a bad actress. I’m teling you, you were good. And that was with only one night to prepare.”

  “This is a disaster!” Kim gets up off the floor and goes to the sink where she washes her hands and splashes water over her face. “We should go. The bel is going to ring soon.”

  “You’re sure you don’t want to go to the nurse?” She stil looks a little green to me.

  “Very sure. Thank you, Marshal.”

  I’m not even sure what she is thanking me for. “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter Six

  Dave and Steve both offer me the obligatory high five when I got to Brit Lit. Dave must have seen the list even before I got to school.

  “Benny—good going, man. This is your big break.” Dave is talking and Steve is bobbing his head up and down in agreement.

  “Yeah, man. Good going.” Steve puts in.

  “Thanks guys—but don’t you think you are over doing it a bit.” I don’t want to sound ungracious but I’ve had a lot of good roles. They are laughing at me now.

  “We are talking about The Professor, dude!” Steve finaly stopped laughing. “and the two of you practicing al that” Steve finishes his sentence my squishing his lips together and making loud smacking kissing sounds.

  “We are going to practice being fish? I don’t see how that wil help the play.” I am rescued from finishing that conversation by Ms. Parker caling rol.

  The truth is that even though I haven’t read Patterson’s version yet I know there wil be at least one Benny/Trish kiss. There has to be. And while I am not against the idea of locking lips with Kim Penney, I am a little wary of our first kiss happening on stage in front of a couple hundred people. Maybe I wil just have to man-up and kiss her before the on-stage kiss becomes a problem… maybe.

  Kim was preoccupied each time I saw her for the rest of the day. I was prepared to wait and talk to her after European History—since it’s the last class of the day. But she had al her things packed up in record time and she bolted out the door as soon as the bel rang. So I went to the theater room alone to pick up my script. Everyone was supposed to pick up a script and read it over the weekend before our first rehearsal on Monday.

  Now I’m home and al I want to do is pop some popcorn and start reading. (al the while praying it isn’t as awful as I suspect).

  “Hey, Marshal.” Spinning around away from the microwave, where I’ve been watching the bag of popcorn expand, I find Mandy standing in the doorway.

  “Hey, Mandy. What can I do for you?”

  “umm… is Jason here?” I can’t help but wonder if that is just an excuse. She spends an awful lot of time with my brother to not know he’s got a week of detentions.

  “No. Sorry. He’s in detention—something about destruction of school property.” I mentioned that he is a barbarian, right?

  Mandy broke into a wide laughing grin. She is very pretty. I bet Kim would look amazing if I could get her to grin that way. “I forgot. He wasn’t trying to be destructive realy, you know.”

  “With Jason? One can never be too sure.”

  “It
’s true. Do you know Abram? He’s in Jason’s grade.”

  “Can’t say I do.”

  “Oh. Wel he’s kind of shy, and I guess a lot of people pick on him. So yesterday somebody stole fanny pack”

  “Wait! He has a fanny pack?”

  Mandy giggled. “I know—wel that’s probably part of why he gets picked on. He carries emergency alergy medicine in there. But anyway, somebody thought it would be funny to hide it above the ceiling tiles in a classroom. So Jason stacked up a couple of desks and climbed them to get it down.”

  “That doesn’t sound very destructive.”

  “Wel… after he tossed the bag down to Abram he decided to do a little dance on top of al those desks… a couple of them broke when he fel.”

  “That does sound like Jason. I’m surprised he got in so much trouble though, considering the circumstances.”

  “Oh. He didn’t tel the principal about Abram’s bag. Technicaly Abram is supposed to leave it with the school nurse in the mornings. But I guess he’s pretty scared of having a reaction and not being able to get to his medicine.”

  I have to admit it—I’m a little proud of my usualy annoying kid brother. “Cool.” I make a mental note to give mom and dad this side of the story. Maybe he doesn’t need to be grounded on top of al those detentions.

  “Yeah. He is. Wel tel him I stopped by, or whatever.” Mandy waves as she walks out the door. It’s too bad she isn’t into Jason. She is clearly a good influence on him.

  “It’s open!” I yel when I hear the doorbel ring. I just got comfortable on the couch with the popcorn bowl balanced on my chest. It isn’t my fault if Jason forgot his key, and is too dumb to try the knob.

  “Helo?” At the sound of Kim’s voice I spring off the couch. Popcorn showers down around me, and the bowl lands upside down on the coffee table. Mom is going to kil me. “Marshal, are you home?” Kim’s face appears around the corner.

  “Umm… sure Kim. I’m home.” Obviously dude, I think to myself, she has eyes after al. Beautiful eyes. Realy beautiful eyes.

  “Marshal?”

  “I’m sorry Kim. Did you need something?” I get busy cleaning up the popcorn mess.