A loud beeping sound rang out. The brown wooden roof of the huge but short pink coral home began to open slowly.
Robin drew closer to get a good look as the inside of the strange house became visible. Everything inside was made of the finest quality fabrics. Everywhere she looked she saw the sparkle of emeralds, jades and other jewels embedded in anything that did not have a pulse.
“Wow!” was all Robin could say with her mouth gaping open.
“Well now, don’t be afraid. Please do come in and take advantage of our home’s comforts, Sky-Ones.” A tall man and woman with dark colored skin, blue eyes and bright fluffy hair stood up from their seated position in the house. Their clothes were all made of silk, velvet and glitter. Atop this they wore mounds of precious jewels.
The royal couple walked up a small flight of stairs then stepped out of their home and down a small flight of wooden steps situated beside the butler. Robin and Roami had not noticed these stairs when they first glanced at the home. As they had not then understood their purpose they had probably overlooked it. The couple smiled broadly showing all their pearly whites once they stood before all of their guests. With a small gesture of their hands they motioned for Robin and Roami to climb the steps and enter their home.
Robin was too busy staring at the couples elaborate garments to realize they were being beckoned. She noticed that even their sandals were encrusted with emeralds. As the couple were now standing just feet away, Robin could better see the women’s outfit. She marveled at her long bright green skirt and matching shirt with a sleek silver, jade encrusted belt cinched at her narrow waist.
The man wore dark hunter green silk pants and a similarly colored shirt covered in silver glitter and emerald stars. Altogether, their garments were so shiny, Robin had to look away to avoid the glare. She quickly forgot about their clothing and began to wonder how they had sat comfortably in such a short home while wearing such stiff jewel laden outfits.
“How in the world... Roami how can we all possibly fit in there? It’s like a luxurious sardine can!” She whispered to him.
“I know Robin.” Was all Roami could think to say at the moment as he too was wondering what they had gotten themselves into.
Stepping in front of Robin in a protective stance, Roami moved towards the house. He stopped short once he stood before the small block of steps that ran up into the front of the box-like construction. Their hosts smiled at them then went back up the stairs and motioned for Robin and Roami to follow their lead.
Roami walked up the steps and then stepped down into the house where he continued to follow the immaculately dressed couple. Roami held on tightly to Robin’s hand to ensure she was right behind him and did not run away. He was pretty certain that was exactly what she wanted to do at the moment.
They walked through rooms that while wide, did not reach past the average Fitzian’s chest. It was hard to take the jewel studded lamps and finely made rugs seriously when they could easily turn around and look at the waiting line of guests or look up and see the red watery sky above them.
“Now, here we have the dining room. Of course, to my left is the study and over here is the ballroom. Please position yourselves comfortably and we will see to the rest of the guests. The servants will come around with serving lists and you may order as you wish.” Their male host smiled at them then added. “I am Byrum, by the way. And this is my lovely wife, Myrum.” Smiling the two walked out of the room and left Robin and Roami to stand knee deep in confusion.
“Uh, Roami?” Robin said with a sly smirk.
Roami stared at her and within moments they both started laughing at the same time.
“I really have no clue as to how this is supposed to work...” Roami said as he sat down on the ballroom floor cross legged. The carpet was made of purple velvet and there was not a single piece of furniture to be found. Along the gold painted walls were a few jade-framed mirrors and wall sconces that gave off a soft glow.
“I guess we just sit like this because lying would be even more awkward once this room fills up with all the guests.” He said this as he took Robin’s hand and pulled her down to sit beside him.
The two stared at each other daring one another to laugh. Their laughter died down as the other guests slowly came pouring in to sit in a similar fashion. Soon the house was full and the roof was lowered shut. Just as Robin had said, the house quickly began to resemble a packed sardine can.
“You know what makes it even funnier is that they are so prim and proper. How can you act all snooty while sitting here uncomfortably in this ridiculous thing.” She said while trying to hide her amusement behind her hand. Roami smirked in agreement.
The crowd began to mingle although moving from person to person proved to be very difficult while sitting cross legged or squatting down. Robin watched with laughter in her eyes, as people tried to wiggle and crawl from one person to another in a dignified manner.
Thankfully, as they were the main attraction, Robin and Roami did not have to move about as much as everyone else. They remained where they were and watched as most of the royals found their way to their side at one point or another.
After their latest group of fans had stopped by to introduce themselves, Robin leaned towards Roami and whispered, “So why do you think they are so crazy about having such short houses?” She said this with a serious expression on her face. While it had seemed highly comical earlier in the day she had slowly lost all sense of humor at how uncomfortable the home truly was. She was now sporting a crick in her leg from having to sit for so long.
Once the automated roof had closed and the last guest had entered, she started to feel immediately claustrophobic. Why would such an expensive home be so unlivable? She could not help but wonder about the mental health of the royal class.
“Good question Robin. I do not know. Perhaps that mystery is where this worlds’ riddle can be found.” He was cut off by their hosts who stood up in the center of the seated guests.
The royal couple’s outfits seemed to shimmer and sparkle amidst the many lamps and wall sconces littering the walls of the dining room. Robin could see how and why the serving class would look at such people with awe. Between their aloof attitudes and sparkling clothing, they seemed like super beings.
Calling their attention to him, their male host Byrum began his speech, “Today as you all well know, we have two distinguished guests. They are of course the Sky-Ones that everyone has been abuzz about. Robin and Roami have been sent from the spirits above. No doubt to inspect our world and our worthiness as a civilization. What better place to show off our advanced ways and superior society than a great ball where only the best of the best; the royal families of Fitz, are in attendance. As you can see for the benefit of our honored guests I have even gone so far as to use only the finest servants to see to everyone’s needs. There is not a mutt amongst them; all pedigrees I daresay.” He cleared his throat and continued.
“Well enough of all that. I do hope you are all enjoying yourselves. Now, today we do have some special entertainments picked out especially for our sky guests so that they may witness our civilized ways more acutely. Today we shall have a…” He paused dramatically trying to rev up anticipation. Licking his lips he completed his announcement, “Viewing!”
The crowd gasped with delight and their eyes glistened with private merriment. Apparently they all knew what this was and were very excited to witness such an event. Robin and Roami just looked around in confusion. They both stared at one another then shrugged in shared ignorance.
“Yes, a viewing has been set up for this special occasion and I do hope you all enjoy it!” When their host completed his speech he beamed at the crowd. After taking a quick bow he returned to his seat beside his wife. She did not say a word but smiled broadly for everyone to see.
Somewhere past the ‘ballroom’ was what Robin and Roami could only guess was a theatre room with a very short stage elevated just a few inches from the floor. The doors that sepa
rated each room were very wide to accommodate people squatted or crawling through rather than walking upright.
The guests made their way from the ballroom and into the theater room which was even more expansive than the ballroom with red velvet carpet covering the floor. Robin gasped at the beautiful emerald studded walls painted a deep bright red.
The stage was painted black. Though it was no more than a few inches above the ground, this was enough to make standing or even sitting on it very uncomfortable. The roof slanted upward dramatically above the theater to accommodate anyone standing on the stage. It was therefore the only place in the entire mansion that would allow average sized people to stand upright.
As the guests sidled over on all knees, or squatting like ducks, Robin once again felt tears of laughter fall from her eyes. No matter how hard she tried they refused to remain hidden. She shook with the power of her laughter and Roami had to squeeze her hand to keep her even passably collected in front of the other guests.
“This is just so silly… I think I’m going to scream… I need air.” Robin said between short gasps as she tried to get herself together.
A few guests looked her way with question but dared not question the actions of a sky-one. They simply smiled at her and continued to enter the theater room. When everyone was seated and staring at the empty wooden stage with a single spot light shining on it; the wall lights within the large room began to dim.
Robin wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. She was eager to see what could possibly be more entertaining than what they had already witnessed this night.
At a snap of the female host’s fingers two servants dressed in drab gray outfits crawled into the room from a rear door just to the right of the stage.
Their outfits were woven, frayed at the edges and nearly identical as both wore loose pants and shapeless sleeveless tunics. With their heads hung down submissively they quietly made their way towards the stage. They were greeted by complete silence.
Both stepped up onto the black wood boards and made their way towards the stage center. There they squinted under the brutal glare of the white spotlight. Robin now saw to her surprise their faces were painted an even paler green with some form of cosmetics.
From this closer vantage point, Robin could now see that they were a light green male and female both with vibrant heads of straight chin-length fuchsia hair.
The moment both servants reached the center of the stage a bell sounded. Robin jumped back at the abrupt sound then watched in shock as the two began insulting one another and themselves. Their speech seemed a bit forced. It was obvious to Robin that they were following a script. She looked around to gather everyone else’s thoughts on the weird play being orchestrated for their entertainment. All she saw were smiles and eyes alight with merriment. Robin officially felt as if she was in the twilight zone. She wanted to tell Roami this but realized he might not get the reference. Robin decided to keep her thoughts to herself for the moment and shakily returned her gaze to the stage. The man was busy yelling now.
“Women! You work all day and come home dirty and smelly. And when was the last time you saw to my needs? Huh? I want a divorce! Rather be alone than deal with the stench of ya!” He shoved her shoulder and she fell back slightly. While his words were angry his eyes were blank and his speech monotone.
The women stumbled back slightly her eyes looked pained for a flash then returned to a similarly blank expression. “Man, if I smell then you are pure sewage! If I had the guts to cut off my own nose I would. This ten year marriage has been nine years too long. I want out!” She ducked down and swung her leg to sweep his legs out from underneath him. He shrieked and jumped high in the air before her leg could connect. The skinny man then did a backflip.
Robin cringed. She was almost sure he would hit his head on the roof and knock himself out in the process.
They were apparently professionals and had done this particular routine countless times. The man ran up to the woman and pulled at her bone straight hair. It fell into his hands while she escaped. It was a wig! Her actual hair was cut in a short fuchsia fade.
“Ah so the real you is uncovered to the light of day!” He screamed. Tucking the wig onto his own head he cackled and laughed hysterically.
“How could you?!” She screeched. While he laughed she snatched at his shirt ripping it in the process. Underneath he had painted his chest dark green with make-up.
“Ah! So looks like someone else’s secret is found out! Secretly trying to be one of the higher class eh?” She cackled with laughter. He raced over to her and choked her neck with a crazed look on his face.
Robin sat with her mouth gaping open. She was completely entranced by what was happening before her. Once again she tore her eyes from the stage to glance at either side of her. She wanted to discern the royal’s response to this absolute insanity.
She got her answer within seconds. Thunderous applause resounded throughout the room. A few royals even struggled to stand up in the small space to show their appreciation.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Robin whispered then stared at Roami with eyes wide with disbelief. He looked sad but thoughtful as he too looked at the royals then back at the two actors who bowed politely. When they realized the guests expected an encore, the two servants continued to denigrate themselves and throw some additional jabs at their counterparts.
The man did a few flips and hit himself in the head while acting dimwitted. The crowd of royals laughed with gusto. Robin and Roami were even elbowed a few times with winks from the royals seated beside them. They ignored these attempts to make them part of seemingly good natured camaraderie which covered something so repulsive.
The crowd applauded louder as the couple bowed profusely. The looks in the actor’s eyes were pained. Robin and Roami had trouble looking at them without feeling sickened by the entire display.
When silence finally fell, all that could be heard was the actors’ heavy breathing from their bowed positions. The male and female hosts stood up and made their way towards the stage. They stopped when they were at the base of it.
“Stand up!” Byrum thundered with an obvious air of authority. The two servants stood up and meekly stared at their feet.
“Now, ladies and gentlemen… this is really no act as we all know. These people are like this all the time. They are barbaric savages and know nothing but what they are told and can do nothing without being properly instructed.”
Staring directly at the Sky-ones he continued, “I’m sure you two Sky-ones have seen them during your time here already. They are the lower beings we call Mubbins. And we are the Royals of Fitz of course. We keep them around solely for manual labor and entertainment purposes. Other than that we try to keep them at arm’s length to ensure their base ways do not spread among our class.”
Robin wanted nothing more than to stand up and slap Byrum directly in his face. Her fist balled up at her side in preparation. Roami saw this and grabbed Robin’s hand. He looked at her with a look that said, “Please don’t.” Swallowing hard, Robin worked to calm herself down and put on a false yet neutral expression.
Continuing without a hitch Byrum said, “Now. Watch here as I try to teach them just a small morsel of true civility.”
With that said he faced the two actors and asked them, as if they were just small children, several questions for which he expected an immediate and obviously scripted response.
“Now is it nice to treat your wife like that?” Byrum asked haughtily.
“No.” Came the simple emotionless response.
“And should you not have dinner ready and yourself all tidied up when your husband comes home each day?” Byrum asked the woman.
“Yes, sir.” Came her soft response.
The two servants stood with their heads down dutifully as the host whispered to them. Moments later the host patted them on their backs and ushered them towards the watching crowd.
Smiling openly, although it never truly t
ouched their eyes, they hugged one another. It was as if their previous orchestrated grievances were now settled thanks to the diplomatic efforts of their benevolent host. The crowd responded with a resounding applause.
Byrum’s wife stepped forward with tears glistening in her eyes as she too applauded. "I’ve seen this time and time again and it never ceases to move me. Thank you all for attending this evening's viewing. Please do not forget that without our guidance these poor folk would be little or nothing. We must teach them and they must be controlled for their own benefit. Now, back to the festivities!" She dabbed at her tears and continued to smile at her guests.
Byrum turned and glared dismissingly at the two actors. They scurried away into the shadows quickly and the party resumed with even more fervor.
Having seen more than they could stomach, Robin and Roami slowly inched towards the main door of the theater. They made a run for it as soon as it was possible to leave unseen. When they reached the entry hall they saw the butler sitting there cross-legged. He looked even more bored than usual and was distractedly pulling at invisible lint on his gray shirt.
When he noticed them he looked up eager to be of service. “Ah, dearrr Sky-ones. How can I help you?” He asked demurely.
“How can we get out? We have…uh…other engagements we have to get to.” Roami said hoping the butler would buy this story.
“Ah, yes. Well we do not open the roof while the festivities are still underway, of course. You two may use the side door. It is just through here.” He motioned to his left where a dark green door stood. The butler opened the door and instructed Robin and Roami to crawl out.
When they were finally outside, the teens stood up and worked to get the kinks out of their legs and necks.
“Freedom!” Robin breathed a quick sigh of relief. She then grabbed Roami by the hand and nearly screamed, "We seriously have to get out of this place! They’re completely insane!"
Roami nodded gravely, "Yes, it is definitely not the place for us. They treat us like royalty now because they think we are heaven sent beings. If they found out we really are nothing more than just stranded travelers they may treat us just like the Mubbins… or perhaps even worse."
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