This Dark Mirror

by Tricia Owens

  Caled’s crisp instructions heightened Hadrian’s nervousness. Caled still feared danger and now that Hadrian was going to expose himself, the mercenary’s quick reflexes with a dagger didn’t grant Hadrian the same comfort it had when Hadrian was safely shielded by the other man. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath and walked slowly forward. If this was who he thought it was, the caution might not be needed.

  The darkness in the street was unrelenting. Hadrian prayed for a break in the sooty clouds so the starlight could shine through. He could just make out a single figure standing obediently in the middle of the road.

  Another few steps and Hadrian could make out the paleness of the man’s face. He swallowed hard, thinking of his last contact with this man and the secrets they shared. Why had he come looking for Hadrian? Was it to tell him that everything had been a lie? Or, if the gods were kind, had he come to assure Hadrian that his choice had made a positive difference?

  The clouds parted for the space of a heartbeat. Hadrian gasped and froze mid-step. Starlight glinted off the tears shining in the man’s eyes.

  It wasn’t Midagon, his father’s seer.

  "Help me," Jessyd pleaded in a broke voice, "please help me."

  Chapter Two

  At the sight of Jessyd, Hadrian took a step backwards, both in distance and in mind. In his head he felt the coldness of the castle stones beneath his palms. He heard the air parting with a whistle and felt the sting on his buttocks as Jessyd obeyed Gavedon and inflicted a punishment that should have been Jessyd’s to bear. The one person who had shown a personal interest in Hadrian—the one person Hadrian had hoped to have as a friend in defiance of his father’s orders—was the one man who had ended up teaching Hadrian one of his most painful, lasting lessons.

  "You did not listen to me, and here you have learned why you should have."

  His father’s deep voice sounded as loud in his head as it had in that small circular room in the castle.

  Hadrian was there again, wiping the tears of humiliation and pain that dripped down his face as he listened.

  "The world outside of Shard’s Point is a wicked, vile place full of liars and those who would gladly hurt you. Do not trust them with anything of yourself, Hadrian. The only one you may trust that way is me."

  Hadrian’s first lesson in betrayal had been a bitter one. Jessyd had lied to Gavedon so Hadrian would take the punishment. Recalling the helpless fury he had felt that day, he began to understand Caled’s animosity toward him. If that was even a fraction of how Caled felt about him after Rhiad, Hadrian could see how the mercenary’s rage could override anything that they had shared before, be it love or lust.

  Hadrian whispered fiercely, "What makes you think I would help you? You lied to my father. You betrayed me. Why should I do anything for you?"

  Jessyd’s eyes widened. "How can you say that? You were the only one who knew me. You were the only one I could trust on that island. Do you know how badly I wanted to be your friend? It was your father who separated us and drove us apart. It was him, not me. I was all alone in the Order, Hadrian. I needed a friend!"

  "You didn’t treat me like a friend."

  Thanks to Caled, Hadrian now knew what Jessyd had wanted of him that afternoon when they were alone together and the other young man had made advances. Hadrian was grateful that nothing further had happened between them. Jessyd would have used and then abandoned him. At the least, Hadrian doubted the other man would have been as gentle and caring with him as Caled was during Hadrian’s first sexual experience.

  "If you were my friend," Hadrian went on, "you wouldn’t have lied to my father and told him that I attacked you, that you had to-to bite me to fend me off." His face burned hotly merely from speaking the words. "You wouldn’t have let me take the blame for something that you did against my wishes."

  Jessyd clasped his hands together imploringly. "Hadrian, your father is The One. Who do you know who would willing risk punishment by his hand? In experience I was just a boy. I was new to the Order. I couldn’t risk being expelled. I had nowhere else to go."

  But Hadrian knew it was all an act. Jessyd had chosen sides and he’d chosen against Hadrian.

  Jessyd groaned. "You don’t believe me. But don’t you remember? I wasn’t in the Order because I wanted to be there. My sister forced me. I hated it. I believed in none of it. But what could I do? I was too young." His face abruptly darkened, his eyes looking haunted. "But after what you and Gavedon did to Rhiad, after that battle on Shard’s Point—I saw another side of him, Hadrian. The side you see. It took me time to summon my nerve, but I finally did stand up to him. I left him. I ran away. If he finds me again I am a dead man. You must help me!"

  Hadrian shook his head, wishing he’d never agreed to this meeting. Here was a direct link to the worst of Hadrian’s past. The others could not be allowed to know. Especially Caled. The mercenary already thought him weak. The stories Jessyd might tell of how he’d carelessly toyed with a sexually naïve Hadrian would only make Caled disrespect him more.

  "I can’t help you," he shot back in a fierce whisper, knowing he had little time before Caled became impatient. "Even if I wished to help, which I do not, my father is stronger than I. It was a miracle I survived at all, but I won’t be as lucky a second time. I can’t protect you when I can’t save myself. You must leave here. Go! Never speak my name or the Order’s name again." When Jessyd made no move to leave, Hadrian hissed again, "Go, Jessyd!"

  But he hadn’t been quick enough. He heard a footfall that could have been an inhalation of breath, but it was Caled, behind him, a wall of muscle and bone that prevented Hadrian from slinking back into the darkness.

  "So you do know him."

  Hadrian glared at Jessyd, but the other man ignored him to turn his entreaty upon Caled.

  "We were friends," Jessyd claimed, making Hadrian’s lips curl in anger. "We were students together in the Order."

  Hadrian’s hands fisted, the leather creaking softly. "Leave, Jessyd. We can’t protect you."

  "I have information! I know you seek Gavedon. I may be able to help you find him."

  "It’s nothing but a trick," Hadrian argued. "We’d be a fool to trust you." He turned to Caled. "Do you wish a repeat of the Dimorada? This is another ploy by my father. I know it is!"

  Caled looked between the two men, his expression unreadable. "You’re unexpectedly passionate about this, Hades." He studied Hadrian. "Is there something more I should know?"

  It was precisely what Hadrian had feared would happen. Caled’s curiosity would lead to disaster.

  Hadrian raised his chin, trying to appear cooler than he felt. "I’m being cautious. After what you and I have just been through, can you blame me?"

  As Caled opened his mouth to reply a pair of bird calls broke the silence around them. Caled’s head whipped to the roof tops. His right hand fell to the weapons on his waist.

  "Company’s headed this way." He studied Jessyd darkly. "Friends of yours?"

  Jessyd paled. "The only ones who know me wish me dead. I have no friends."

  Hadrian stiffened, the words too familiar for comfort.

  Caled pointed to a dark building. "Into that stable. Both of you."

  "Why must we continue this?" Hadrian protested as he was propelled towards the stable with a firm hand in the small of his back. "He’s tricking us, Caled. No doubt this is the trap already sprung."

  "If that is the case, it’s too late to avoid it," Caled replied grimly. "By the gods, Hades, stop fighting me and get inside, will you? Unless you have a means of protecting yourself that won’t burn down Tagwar, leave this to me!"

  Hadrian flushed with shame when Jessyd shot him a look. Without further argument, Hadrian ducked into the stables, the two men following. Caled shut the door behind them and moved swiftly to an open window while Hadrian and Jessyd braced themselves by the nearest stall. In lieu of his usual daggers, Caled drew his sword. The sight of him with that long broadsword in hand, forearm muscles
bulging and his profile tensed for action, stole Hadrian’s breath. He could never be Caled’s equal, no matter how much he learned of sword fighting. Caled was a man to aspire to, not match, and Hadrian decided he did not mind that.

  "Quite a man, your mercenary."

  Hadrian jerked back at the warm rush of air over his ear. Jessyd stood uncomfortably close, openly admiring Caled at the window.

  "I haven’t forgotten what you are," Hadrian retorted. "He won’t be interested in you—not your kind—so don’t bother. Not that you’ll be with us long enough to be given opportunity to try."

  "Not my kind?" Jessyd repeated with an amused look. "Not that it’s my intention to pursue him, but little Hadrian, are you still the boy I left in the grass that day?"

  Hadrian stiffened. "What do you mean?"

  Jessyd studied his face, smiling faintly. "Perhaps you are still that naive, untouched Son of the One. Difficult to believe when the rumors in the Order said that yon golden mercenary’s cock was the instrument of betrayal." At Hadrian’s bemused look, Jessyd laughed softly. "He tumbled more than your arse, little Hadrian. He tumbled your wits. Your loyalties." He shrugged. "That was the rumor within the Order. That he’s the reason you turned against Gavedon."

  Hadrian reddened. Caled undoubtedly played a tremendous role in Hadrian’s decision to rebel, but Jessyd made the mercenary’s influence sound cheap and shameful.

  Jessyd pulled up his hood, hiding his face. From within the darkened shroud he murmured, "Whether he took his taste of you or not, you’re obviously still the boy I left behind—as ignorant of the world as a child. Men like Caled can’t resist men like me, Hadrian. Being a former whore isn’t a hindrance, it’s an advantage. If you think you’re leaving me behind, you’re sorely mistaken. I have what he wants—information. And more."

  Hadrian hadn’t considered such a thing—that Jessyd might be interested in Caled. But of course he would. Caled was a strikingly handsome man and he exuded a confidence that made Hadrian’s heart thunder with excitement. Why wouldn’t those things affect others as well? Why wouldn’t they affect Jessyd, whose sordid past made him exceedingly aware of the sexual appeal of others and willing to act upon it?

  All the more reason to send Jessyd away as quickly as possible.

  "You’ve no chance with him," Hadrian told him. "He’s Gavedon’s Bane. He’s vowed to destroy my father along with everything and everyone associated with him. Caled forsake his name and his family for this. Until Caled has found his revenge, he won’t succumb to distractions. Not even yours."

  Jessyd studied him for a long moment, though Hadrian couldn’t see his eyes. "No matter. I’m not here to seduce anyone. I’m here for protection. He’ll protect me even if he’s not enjoying my body. He’s protecting you, after all. You, his second greatest enemy. I’d wonder if he were doing so because he still lusted after you, but if he’s taken such a vow of abstinence—" Jessyd chuckled softly, "—then all three of us will be well acquainted with our hands, yes?" He gazed at Caled at the window. “We won’t be lacking for inspiration, will we?”

  Hadrian wished he hadn’t lost his dagger in the sea.

  They waited tensely for several more minutes, watching Caled as he peered through the window. The mercenary suddenly held up his hand. Hadrian held his breath, trying to decide what he was willing to do if this was indeed a trap and the Order had come looking for them. Would he burn down Tagwar to protect himself and the others? Would he kill Gavedon if that was what was required? How important a role would Manix play? That was something Hadrian had not considered much—what the Elder would do when the final confrontation occurred. Hadrian knew Manix was very powerful for a mage, and being a member of the Council he most likely knew things most mages did not. But Gavedon was both a mage and a sorcerer, educated in magecraft and possessing innate powers of sorcery.

  Hadrian listened to what sounded like two men passing by the stable. They were chatting freely about cock fighting. When Caled lowered his hand, Hadrian’s knees shook with relief. He didn’t want to kill. He didn’t want to cause any further destruction. Even though he knew peace could only be achieved with the apprehension of his father, Hadrian hoped that that day was far off, because it promised to be a bloody one.

  "Manix and Syellen are coming," Caled said as he left the window and joined Hadrian and Jessyd. He looked them both over and then shook his head in apparent disgust. "Now I have two of you. The gods curse me more each day. Since it’s obvious Hades does indeed know you despite what he protests to the contrary, I think explanations are in order."

  "I will tell you anything you wish to know," Jessyd promised, his voice suddenly trembling with emotion. "You’ve no idea what I endured before I decided to leave the Order. I’ve no loyalty to them. None! I wish to help you bring them down. I’ll do anything I can to help you do this."

  Liar, Hadrian thought as he glared at Jessyd.

  "What’s your name?" Caled asked. "And put down your hood so I can see your face again."

  Hadrian could almost sense Jessyd’s smile before the man lowered his hood and revealed it. But it was a shy smile, an uncertain one, and to Hadrian, who knew how conniving the other sorcerer could be, it was further proof that Jessyd was up to no good.

  "My name is Jessyd. I joined the Order with the help of my sister. I was young. Misguided. I needed something to believe in. Someone. I thought I found it in Gavedon. He was knowledgeable. He offered me shelter and food and an education I could not have gotten on the streets. I believed in him. Until..." Jessyd dropped his eyes as though he were fighting terrible memories. He wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered violently. Hadrian noticed Caled begin to lift his arm to touch the other man and then drop it as if deciding better. Hadrian nearly bit his tongue in frustration.

  "Until I saw what a monster Gavedon truly is. The burning of Rhiad turned my stomach. But I still believed in him because I thought he had a reason for what he did. I had to believe in him. He was all I had." Jessyd raised his head and gazed intently at Caled with shining brown eyes. "But his reason is not one I can support. He wants to rule Juxtan with dark sorcery. No matter who he must destroy, no matter what he must crush in his path be it man or beast—he will do it. He’s lost his mind. I couldn’t follow a man like that any longer. I made my escape though I’ve guaranteed my death if he should find me. But I was willing to risk it. I’m not like him."

  "You just told me you remained with the Order because you had no other choice, not because you believed in them," Hadrian reminded him, coldly. "You speak conveniently, but you do not speak the truth."

  Jessyd turned to him, somber-faced. "Of any man alive I thought that you, Hadrian, would understand the fear I feel. I thought you would be the man to sympathize with my situation. And yet you try to turn me away? Why? What threat am I to you?"

  Hadrian felt Caled’s eyes on him as the mercenary waited expectantly for an answer. Yet the answer Hadrian needed to give—the truth—was embarrassing to him. He didn’t want Caled to know how green he had been and that he still carried a grudge over something Jessyd had done to him while he and Jessyd were fooling around.

  He was saved from answering by the appearance of Manix and Syellen through the stable doors.

  "You’re just in time," Caled said, still watching Hadrian. "The truth is coming out about as fast as a tooth grows."

  Hadrian glared at him, but before he could speak, Jessyd suddenly murmured, "I don’t feel very well."

  He took a step forward and promptly fainted into Caled’s arms.

  Hadrian gritted his teeth as he watched Caled cradle the unconscious sorcerer.

  "He has probably not eaten since Gam and Lio left this city to find us," Manix said as he reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers down Jessyd’s cheek. "He is cold. Bring him with us to the inn. A nice dinner and a warm fire should revive him. I have many questions for him."

  "This is a mistake," Hadrian insisted for what felt like the hundredth time. "I kno
w him and he isn’t to be trusted."

  "And yet we should trust you, who lied about having friends within the Order?" Caled pointed out quietly. He hefted Jessyd into his arms. "I say you’re both sorcerers, therefore neither of you are to be trusted with anything."

  Hadrian merely stared at him with an icy gaze. Easier to do that, than reveal how much Caled had hurt him with the comparison.

  ~~~~~

  Caled didn’t like sorcerers, and now he had two of them. What were the gods and goddesses thinking?

  Interestingly, his two sorcerers weren’t the ogres he had once joked all sorcerers to be. Both Hadrian and Jessyd were attractive young men. By the gods, Hadrian was stunning by anyone’s estimation. Which didn’t make the situation any better. On the contrary.

  Caled acknowledged his weakness for a pretty face. He loved to love, and admiring beauty was a pleasure to him. Evil, he had always believed, came in the form of ugliness. Or lacking that, a coldness such as Gavedon had exhibited.

  Looking at the two sorcerers—Jessyd eating greedily from a platter of chicken while Hadrian glared at him from beneath his dark lashes—Caled’s mind kept wandering where it shouldn’t: into bed later tonight. He imagined the two dark-haired men on either side of him—Hadrian the innocent and Jessyd the not-so-innocent if the looks Caled had caught him sending were any indication.

  Gods, he was such a fool.

  At least Manix had his mind where it should be.

  "And you say Gavedon is aware that the Council seeks to bring him to justice?" the Elder said, his own cleaned plate pushed into the middle of the table. "The fieran we encountered was a deliberate trap to send Hadrian to the Dimorada’s clutches?"

  Jessyd nodded, his mouth full of stewed tomato. "Gavedon knows. He expects you to follow him now."

  Caled used his dagger to clean his fingernails. "And what does that mean, exactly?"

  Jessyd sighed as he finally pushed away his plate. He’d eaten like a bear for the first few minutes and now his color had returned. Along with the ale he’d consumed, his content status gave his cheeks an attractive blush.