This Dark Mirror

by Tricia Owens

  He loved Gam. As for Hadrian...well, Lio had never had a more immediate reaction to anyone, ever. He couldn’t sit by without joining the other men. He leaned sideways and hesitantly pressed his lips to the side of Hadrian’s cheek. The skin there was softer than the finest silk. Lio was so excited he could barely draw a full breath. After several moments of kissing him, Lio forgot why they were doing it. He was lost in the moment, lost in wanting this to go further. It took him by surprise then, when Gam lifted his lips from Hadrian’s and spoke to the gasping sorcerer.

  "Caled said you’d be interested in joining Lio and me for some fun."

  Lio stopped kissing. He raised his face and watched Hadrian struggle to collect his scattered wits.

  Gam caressed Hadrian’s cheek. "Caled could tell you were jealous and wanted to participate."

  Black lashes lifted. Something went still on the sorcerer’s face. "Caled—Caled said that?"

  Gam chuckled and sent Lio a warning look to keep silent. "Sure he did. But Caled’s tired after taking care of us so he sent us to take care of you. Only fair, right?"

  Lio sat up completely, suddenly ashamed of what he’d been doing just moments ago. Hadrian’s face had lost its look of lustful wonder and now was washing blank.

  "Last night, he—" Hadrian broke off, his cheeks pinkening.

  "He what?" Gam laughed. "Are you remembering what he did at the end? We had a good laugh about that while you were sleeping. Caled had wanted to make it a foursome but ran out of juice at the end. Well, not really, as you found out. That was pretty funny, eh, Lio?"

  Lio felt sick. "Yeah. He’s funny. So are you."

  Gam shot him a look before turning his attention back to Hadrian, who lay beneath them as cold and stiff as a statue. "So what do you say, Hadrian? Caled said he might join us later, but to just go on without him."

  Hadrian tugged on his arms. The two thieves let him go. "I’m not interested. Get out of my bed and don’t ever touch me again."

  Lio released him gladly and jumped to his feet. He wanted to run from the room in shame, but Gam found his hand and held onto it, preventing him from leaving.

  "Well, if you ever change your mind, you can always find us with Caled. See you downstairs." Gam gave a cheerful wave.

  Hadrian rolled over and hid his face in the pillow.

  The two thieves hurried from the room.

  "I can’t believe you did that!" Lio hissed once they were in the hall. "That was the lowest thing I’ve ever seen you do."

  "I know, I know." Lio’s anger wavered when he saw how upset his friend was. Gam looked slightly green. "I didn’t want to hurt him, Lio. Honest. But better we do this than let Hadrian believe Caled has feelings for him. That would be worse, wouldn’t it? I was only trying to make this better for all of us. Caled just doesn’t like Hadrian the same way."

  "I don’t know if that’s true," Lio said as they descended the stair. "Caled’s been acting strangely about all this. He never acts strangely about someone he’s bedded."

  "Try telling him that." Gam caught Lio by the arm, halting him before they entered the common room. "So you’re not mad at me for what I did back there? I didn’t like hurting him, Lio."

  It would have been fun to make the other man squirm, but Gam was obviously concerned. "I’m not mad at you. It was terrible what you did, but you did it to help. It’s alright, Gam."

  "Damn that Caled," Gam grumbled, glaring at the mercenary in question. "Why did he have to fall for Hadrian in the first place?"

  Lio stared at the blond mercenary and shook his head regretfully. "Maybe he’s a man who was never meant to love."

  Gams’ face clouded over. "That’s a sad thing to say, Lio."

  ~~~~~

  Hadrian couldn’t bring himself to join the others for breakfast. He scrounged through his saddlebags and found a chunk of hard bread and settled for that. He hadn’t much appetite, regardless. Learning that Caled only considered him one more body for playing with had left him in a black mood.

  He should have suspected as much of Caled. The mercenary had no reason to show an interest in him. Nothing had changed. Caled’s oath still stood and Hadrian remained as guilty of his crimes as ever. But to be treated so cruelly...

  Hadrian chewed his bread, tasting nothing. The longer he sat in the room, the more he thought of Shard’s Point. He could feel the muggy heat of the grass around him and the slow, rhythmic pulse of Life against his fingertips as he dug them into the soil. The sun was warm and comforting against his face.

  But then the light disappeared and Jessyd was above him, touching him and taunting him with what Hadrian didn’t know. The bread dropped from his listless fingers to hit the floor. It didn’t require much effort to imagine it was the thieves above him, or Caled. Or Lyelin or any of the mage apprentices back in the Annick mage House. All of them had mocked him. All of them had taken delight in showing him how truly ignorant he was. How useless he was.

  Hadrian stood. He gathered his things. As he opened the door to rejoin the others, he thought of Shard’s Point again. He was backed against a wall with his father standing before him, criticizing him for a poor showing in lessons that day. Hadrian leaned against the wall. The stones were as cold as ice. The longer he stood there listening to his father, the colder he grew, too. Hadrian felt that cold again as he closed the door behind him.

  ~~~~~

  They took to the road immediately after breakfast with the sun still low enough in the sky to give them a good three hours riding before the heat set in. Caled was grateful to be out in the open where he could ride away from the tension that had formed in their group the moment Hadrian stepped into the common room that morning. It was if a cold front had swept into the place. Every head had turned to ogle the black-garbed man and upon receiving Hadrian’s murderous glare, had promptly spun back around. Caled had been impressed despite himself.

  On the road, Hadrian’s mood was diffused and Caled was glad of it. Jessyd and Syellen seemed to have become allies since he’d spilled his heart to her, and they were now engaged in a detailed discussion of what Jessyd had lived through while with the Order. This was akin to throwing water at a snowstorm. If those two and Hadrian had been cooped up within four walls Caled was certain they would have had a second Rhiad upon their hands.

  Caled didn’t know what had happened to sour Hadrian’s mood so, but he had to assume it was due to his thoughtless actions last night. Apparently Hadrian hadn’t taken kindly to Caled’s demonstration of his virility. The sorcerer looked as though he wished Caled were dead.

  And that was better. Wasn’t it?

  "Jessyd," Caled called out, turning slightly in the saddle to catch the younger man’s attention. Jessyd smiled at him, looking even better this morning than he had last night. Food and the bit of rest he’d gotten had served him well. Caled mentally warned himself to stay away from the sorcerer. "We’re approaching a split in the road. One follows the stream heading inland, the other keeps us along the coast. Which route are we taking?"

  "Follow the stream," Jessyd told him. "Look for a series of small waterfalls."

  "Small—" Gam gaped. "You don’t mean the Glass Falls, do you?"

  Jessyd inclined his head, glancing once at Hadrian, who gazed off into the forest, ignoring them all. "I do. Is that a problem for you?"

  Caled searched his memory for what he knew of the area. Unfortunately, he was not as familiar with Beyfan as he was with his homeland, Jeynesa. He could recall nothing of the Glass Falls.

  "What are they?" Syellen asked for him. "They sound lovely."

  "They are indeed beautiful to look upon, and therein lie their danger." Manix studied Jessyd thoughtfully. "Are we traveling to the Falls because that is the way Gavedon and the Order traveled or is there another reason to take so dangerous a route?"

  "You wish for Gavedon, I am giving him to you the best way I know how." Jessyd looked to Caled for support. "We’re traveling the exact same path he and the Order took."

&
nbsp; "Going straight to him would be easier, however," Caled said dryly. "Why don’t you tell us where he is and spare us the scenery?"

  Jessyd pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Caled did his best not to notice how attractive the brunette was as he did this. He also tried not to pay attention to the prick of silver daggers boring into his back, courtesy of Hadrian.

  "Because I don’t know where the Order is currently, only where they are heading. And this path will lead us to it."

  "Gods forbid you tell us that location."

  Jessyd’s lashes lowered. "That knowledge is what will keep me necessary to you, Caled. I have to remain with you until you arrest him. It’s the only way I’ll survive to see my next year."

  "You could hide out," Caled suggested.

  Jessyd pulled a face "Like a rat? There’s no hiding from the most powerful man in the land. Did you know: he used his own life force to amplify his energy? I saw him pull energy from himself to blast open a mountain. He doesn’t even require Life to fuel his sorcery.”

  Hadrian choked. “Impossible! You’re telling tales. No sorcerer can pull energy from a man, much less himself.”

  The prospect of it made Caled shiver, his hatred of sorcery deepening.

  “You don’t know him how I know him,” Jessyd told him.

  Hadrian looked fit to strangle Jessyd with his gloved hands.

  “Enough. If Gavedon is that dangerous, you’re a dead man with nothing to fear,” Caled pointed out.

  But Jessyd only smirked. “Maybe Fate has something different in store for me. I’m not a man to roll over and surrender. I’m safest with you. I may not have witnessed you in action, but I know a skilled man when I see him. You’re my best defense, Caled. I’d be a fool to abandon you."

  Caled inwardly sighed. If Hadrian had the ability to control the weather, they’d all be slogging through a snowstorm right then.

  ~~~~~

  The next six days were some of the longest of Hadrian’s life. Ignoring the others worked well only when he had something else to concentrate on, such as the passing scenery or the movement of the sun. But once they stopped for camp each night, Hadrian was trapped with his companions and forced to listen to Jessyd flirt with Caled or worse, hear Syellen sympathize over the treatment Jessyd claimed to have suffered at the hands of Gavedon and the Order. It took all of Hadrian’s willpower not to call him out for the liar he was, but he managed.

  He stared at the fire while doing his best not to listen to Jessyd tell another heartbreaking tale. This time it was a horrific story of being hung by the neck from a tree while the Order members took turns setting fire to the grass he had been standing upon. Each new tale Jessyd spun dragged Hadrian back to Shard’s Point, kicking and screaming. Though the punishments Jessyd had supposedly endured were more creative than anything that had been inflicted upon Hadrian, the reminder of discipline by Gavedon’s hand made Hadrian shiver. When he’d defied his father in their last confrontation the memories were supposed to have been banished. Jessyd, though, brought them all back.

  Unable to stand it anymore, Hadrian searched the faces of his companions. Did any of them believe what Jessyd was saying? Did any of them wonder if Hadrian had suffered the same?

  The thieves weren’t actively listening, he was relieved to see. They were too busy tossing a coin back and forth with their nimble fingers. Syellen was rapt just as she had been since they’d taken to the road. She’d taken Jessyd under her wing as if he were an injured squirrel she had found. She clearly relished the proof that sorcerers were evil beings. If Manix believed anything Jessyd said it was difficult to tell; his face showed polite interest but nothing more. Hadrian glanced with dread at Caled.

  The mercenary reclined against a tree and idly chewed on a tall stalk of grass as he watched Jessyd speak. Hadrian’s mouth tightened when he recognized the look in Caled’s hooded eyes. Caled was sizing Jessyd up for something and it wasn’t difficult to guess what it could be. Hadrian had been keeping track of whom Caled slept with since they’d begun traveling. To his surprise, the mercenary had refrained from joining the thieves for another orgy. But maybe this was the reason: he wanted Jessyd to join them for that foursome Hadrian had declined.

  Incredible hurt welled up in Hadrian, but he swiftly tamped it down. Even if Jessyd weren’t here, the mercenary wouldn’t be looking at him that way. As Gam had revealed, Caled thought Hadrian worth a laugh but not worth his time. It was a step up from being reviled by the mercenary, but odd that it provided Hadrian with no comfort. He almost preferred to be hated than disregarded.

  "I think you have supplied us with nightmares enough," Manix spoke up with a smile for Jessyd. "At this rate, Syellen will not sleep for two days. However, she and the rest of us must try. We have another early start in the morning. I would like us to be fully rested for whatever we may encounter."

  "Yes, that’s wise," Jessyd agreed after yawning. "I don’t recall Gavedon laying any traps in this area, but it would be foolish to be careless."

  "Then let us all get our rest. I believe Lio will be taking first watch tonight?" The thief nodded when the Elder looked to him for confirmation. "Splendid. I shall see everyone in the morning."

  Hadrian deliberately took his time in laying out his bedroll, wanting to watch where Caled placed his. The mercenary chose to be on the outside of their camp on the other side of Gam. Manix and Syellen slept side by side as was their wont, and Jessyd took a space somewhere between everyone with Hadrian directly opposite him on the other side of the fire. Hadrian vowed to keep his eyes on the other sorcerer until sleep overcame him. He wanted to make sure Jessyd and Caled didn’t come together.

  The hours dragged on and Hadrian managed to remain awake through Lio’s shift but fell asleep sometime during Gam’s. His eyes opened with a start when the scarred thief gently shook him by the shoulder.

  "Your turn," the thief said sleepily before staggering to his bedroll where he promptly flopped down. His snores floated up a minute later.

  Hadrian scrubbed at his eyes and slowly stood. Like the rest, he normally hated middle watch, but he decided that tonight he would take advantage of the others’ state of deep sleep. He drank from his waterskin and then circled the perimeter of their camp to be sure all was well. Once he’d determined they weren’t in any immediate danger, he walked to Jessyd’s bedroll and kneeled beside the sleeping sorcerer.

  He poked the other man in the shoulder. "Wake up."

  The sorcerer groaned and battled blindly at Hadrian. "G’way."

  Hadrian poked him again. "Get up, Jessyd. Manix can’t take next watch. He’s not feeling well. You need to take his place."

  Jessyd grumbled again but eventually sat up, half-awake. Hadrian helped the groggy man to his feet and immediately began leading him into the forest.

  "What’re we—where are we going?" Jessyd began to dig in his heels when he realized they’d left camp. "Wait—Manix takes last watch. Why are we out here?"

  Hadrian spun Jessyd around, putting the moonlight in the other man’s face and casting his own into semi-darkness. "I want you to leave, Jessyd. Right now. Take a horse and go before the others wake up. Head back to the coast." He held out his coin purse. "Take this. With it you’ll be fine until you find work."

  He held his breath as Jessyd accepted the purse and weighed it in his hand. "This is all of your coin."

  Hadrian nodded. "It should keep you well fed and put a roof over your head."

  Jessyd smiled, now wide-awake. "You’re a generous man, little Hadrian."

  His expression freezing over, Hadrian kept his voice even. "You should go now."

  "Should I?" Jessyd tossed the purse from hand to hand, the coin inside jingling softly. "Why so anxious for me to leave? The others want me here. I’m delivering what you want: Gavedon and the Order. Why don’t you want them to find your father? Are you protecting him?"

  The suggestion made Hadrian’s vision turn red. "Of course I’m not protecting him. You were there
when we fought. We tried to kill each other."

  "Then why do you want me gone?" Jessyd stepped forward suddenly, invading Hadrian’s space. He reached out and gripped Hadrian’s hip, his fingers curling into his buttock. "Is it this? Do I still frighten little Hadrian?"

  Hadrian gasped and staggered backward out of reach. "Don’t ever touch me again!" He was shaken to have Jessyd’s hands on him again. With that one touch he felt like the boy he had been on Shard’s Point. A boy at Jessyd’s mercy. "This has nothing to do with that," he added vehemently.

  But Jessyd stepped forward again, forcing Hadrian backward. "Then why do you feel threatened by me, little Hadrian?"

  "Stop calling me that."

  "What do I threaten by being here? Tell me." Jessyd paused in mid-step, his brown eyes widening. "Is it because I’m telling them how it is?" Hadrian’s heart sank as the other man grinned triumphantly. "That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want them to know what your father is like or the Order. You want them to think you’re a powerful, invincible sorcerer and not the weakest member of a band of cruel sorcerers." Jessyd clucked his tongue. "You don’t want them to know the truth, do you? That little Hadrian kissed the feet of the most evil man born to Juxtan and did his every bidding because he was afraid to do otherwise."

  The air crackled around Hadrian. From the corners of his eyes he saw the trees become illuminated with Life. It was as if a torch had been lit, and all the leaves and stems of the bushes around them were cast into bright, glowing light. Outwardly, Hadrian stood braced for violence. Inside, something uncurled like the outer petals of a flower bud.

  Life rushed in. He pulled more of It, grasping wildly at the invisible filaments. His entire body sizzled with sensation and he was hard, so hard he ached with ecstasy. He watched apprehension dawn on Jessyd’s face, but by then it was too late. Hadrian smiled without mirth and opened his mouth to speak: "Fi—"

  Something barreled into him from behind, tackling him to the earth. His connection to Life snapped like a thread stretched too tight. He gasped against the soil.