This Dark Mirror

by Tricia Owens

  "You didn’t complain of that injury earlier," Caled pointed out.

  "What would be the point in harming himself?" Hadrian asked.

  "So he wouldn’t have to enter this water," Gam supplied, standing up and looking at the water around him with mistrust. "What’s wrong with it, Jessyd? What has Gavedon done to it?"

  "Nothing!" Jessyd waved a hand at the Shielding Cast where Manix and Syellen were enclosed. "Manix himself is in the water. He tested it. It won’t harm you." Frustrated, he stormed to the pool and thrust his hand into it. "See? I’m not afraid to touch it because there’s nothing wrong with it. But the minerals it contains aggravate open wounds. I’m not torturing myself if I don’t need to."

  Lio held his shoulder, wincing. "Yeah, it stings."

  "The water is fine," Jessyd continued, looking at them all in turn. "I’ll even drink it to prove it." He cupped a handful of the water and slurped it. He smacked his lips for effect. "Tastes like salt and stone but it hasn’t killed me. Nor will it you."

  Hadrian could see Jessyd had convinced them by drinking the water. Hadrian was relieved by the demonstration as well. In his current condition he was of little help in staving off danger if it came.

  "Regardless, I’ll pass,” Caled stated. "Stay by the horses where I can keep an eye on you."

  "Oh, so you trust me with your horses now?"

  Caled gave Jessyd a bland smile. "Actually, no. However, I’d rather have you over there with the animals than here ruining my enjoyment of my friends’ company."

  Muttering, Jessyd stalked back to the horses. Hadrian was glad to see him leave.

  Caled watched him go before settling cross-legged at the edge of the pool. Hadrian stirred the water nervously as the mercenary’s shadowed gaze settled on him. Though he was partially concealed by the water, Hadrian felt the other man’s eyes on every intimate part of him.

  Caled seemed to notice. “Relax, Hades. That’s why you’re in there.”

  “I’m relaxed,” Hadrian mumbled.

  Caled smirked. “Are you.”

  Gam swam over and slung an arm around Hadrian’s shoulders while he grinned up at Caled. "So tell us, Hadrian, what you saw in this ogre that made you willing to let him tumble you?"

  The blunt question shocked Hadrian, but neither Lio nor Caled looked concerned or surprised by it, though Lio’s mouth did turn down at the corners.

  Hadrian drew his legs up defensively. His knees broke the surface of the water as he wrapped his arms around them. "What kind of a question is that?"

  Caled smirked at the scarred thief. "Yes, Gam, what business is it of yours?”

  "Gam likes to listen to stories," Lio said softly, his green eye flicking to the other thief. "I used to read to him when we were younger." He gave Hadrian a bashful smile. "It was how he helped me learn to read."

  "You didn’t know how to read?" The idea seemed preposterous to Hadrian. "But didn’t your mother or father teach you?"

  Lio shook his head mutely, his mousy hair falling thickly over his face as if he’d done it intentionally to hide himself.

  Above the pool, Caled flicked a rock across the ground, drawing the others’ attention. "Not all of us were raised in a pretty castle and given an education, Hades."

  Hadrian shook his head. "I didn’t think he’d been raised in a castle. But why didn’t his—"

  "Why don’t we talk about why you fell arse over heels for me, instead, eh?" Caled grinned widely, though it looked forced. "I think Gam and Lio might enjoy that."

  Hadrian fell silent, aware he’d made a mistake somehow. He detested being ignorant. He resented every minute of his upbringing which hadn’t educated him in what the world was truly like. He felt like a child compared to these men. And he was ashamed that his lack of knowledge had somehow hurt Lio.

  "How easily you smiled," Hadrian blurted, hoping to distract the other men from his mistake.

  Caled blinked. "What?"

  "When you first came up to me in the Bell and Buckle," Hadrian went on, hugging his knees nervously. "I remember thinking that you refused to stop smiling. It was as though everything you saw and heard made you happy. I-I was charmed by that."

  Caled looked surprised, but Gam nodded. "Yes, you used to smile all the time. Quick to spring a joke and first to suggest the drinking."

  Caled snorted. "I’m still that man. But if you know a reason to joke and drink I’d be interested in hearing it."

  "The old Caled could find a reason anytime and anywhere." Looking more thoughtful than aroused, Gam gave Hadrian’s shoulder a squeeze. "Go on. What else caught your interest?"

  Hadrian looked up at Caled. The mercenary appeared older than the man Hadrian had first encountered in Rhiad. He hadn’t truly aged, but there were lines on his face that hadn’t been there before. Lines that Hadrian knew he and his father had helped put there.

  "The way he looked at me," Hadrian said softly, focusing on Caled’s eyes. Falling into that blue gaze, he found it unexpectedly easy to go back in time and see Caled standing before him again, cocky and confident, with a hope Hadrian only now recognized hiding in his sapphire eyes. "He looked at me as though he wanted to know everything about me."

  "Is that so surprising?" Caled said with a chuckle. “You’ve an uncommon appearance and attitude. Who wouldn’t be curious?”

  "It wasn’t simple curiosity," Hadrian replied, undaunted by the other man’s attitude. Hadrian had touched upon a memory which he cherished and he wanted to wallow in it, relive it. "At least, I didn’t think so.”

  “No,” Caled said, softer. He leaned forward and dragged both arms through the water. “It wasn’t that simple.”

  “You looked as though you wanted to know what I was missing. As if you believed that whatever I lacked in my life, you possessed the means to give it to me."

  A drop of sweat slid down Caled’s cheek, leaving a streak through the dust and contributing to his suddenly regretful expression. "I wished that I had. I might have been able to keep you in Rhiad. With me."

  "You don’t know how badly I wanted to stay." A powerful need filled Hadrian to make the mercenary understand what had driven him to forsake his future and his own father. "You changed my world, Caled. Nothing has been the same since the day you offered me your smile."

  Blue eyes lifted to him. “Nothing has been the same for me, either.”

  "That’s the problem, isn’t it?"

  Hadrian tensed at Jessyd’s question. The other sorcerer had moved closer to the pool and sneered down at Hadrian.

  "Caled criticized me for my choices,” Jessyd went on, “but you had your own to make, didn’t you? Even with Caled there for you, apparently besotted with you, you chose to leave him and bring back your father to murder all his friends. Such an innocent boy you were, Hadrian. A sane man would question whether you were innocent at all. You fell rather easily onto your back, didn’t you?"

  Hadrian’s jerked out of Gam’s hold and surged to his feet. “You know nothing!” he cried. “How dare you—”

  “Hades!” Caled had risen, too, and his anger looked to match Hadrian’s. “Don’t rise to his bait. You and I know the truth.”

  “So you think,” Jessyd scoffed before turning and heading back to the horses. “It’s no wonder you were fooled and your friends slaughtered.”

  Black spots swam before Hadrian’s eyes. His entire body flushed cold as if all the blood had drained from his body. He sank back into the water, steadied by Gam.

  "He’s done for," he heard Gam mutter.

  "He needs rest," Lio said solemnly beside Hadrian. "He’s completely white." Lio carefully cleaned the dust from his face as Hadrian hung slack between the two thieves with his eyes closed.

  "We’ll make camp here,” Caled declared quietly. “No more riding today. If Hadrian can’t even stand on his own, we’ve no business confronting Gavedon."

  "If only we faced an army of bloodthirsty assassins, eh?" Gam said.

  Caled snorted. "Do you truly believ
e I’m afraid of one lousy sorcerer?"

  Hadrian smiled wearily at the outrage in Caled’s voice. "You’re not afraid of anything," Hadrian murmured. He forced his eyes open to look up at the mercenary. "Not even of me."

  Caled crossed his arms. His expression was somber and thoughtful. "I don’t allow other men to tell me who I should fear and who I should trust, Hades. I form my own opinions."

  He also cast his own judgment. Once, he had judged Hadrian a sinner. What did he see him as now? Hadrian slumped. He was beside Caled for now. That was all that mattered.

  Chapter Eight

  "All ready, then?"

  Syellen squeezed the last tenacious drops of water from the ends of her hair. She released the damp ends and breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes. I’m so thankful to be clean again."

  Manix chuckled, enjoying the feel of his own damp hair against the back of his neck. The air was swiftly cooling and it was a pleasant contrast to the heat that had suffused their bodies via the springs.

  "It is a terrible misfortunate that a treat like this does not exist in Grace-of-the-Gods, hmm? I would know precisely where to find you should I need you," he teased. "I would most likely have to find a way to affix your studies to oilskin so you could read them while bathing."

  Syellen smiled. "I’m certain I could have found a way. More’s the pity." She gave one last winsome look at the bubbling water. "Do you think we could camp here? Perhaps stay another day? We’ve been through so much—a break would be nice."

  Manix gave his apprentice a measuring look. Then, to her apparent surprise, he drew her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

  "M-Master?" she stammered.

  "I understand," was all he said. He felt her arms slowly slide up his back and tighten around him. She trembled and a tremulous sigh whistled past her lips.

  Manix held her, giving his apprentice the attention he had been unable to grant her while watching over Jessyd and the others. He knew how frightening the past few days must have been for Syellen. She was most comfortable in study, surrounded by puzzles and tasks which could be solved by application of the mind, not of the body or will. Since leaving the Annick mage House Manix had been surprised that she had not complained more, or shown to be affected by what they’d been through. He could see now that the stress had simply been accumulating, waiting for a breaking point.

  "Speak of your fears," he encouraged softly.

  She took a shuddery breath, but no tears dampened the front of Manix’s robes. "I know you told me that should you or I fall in this mission others would be sent to take our places. I heard you say that, but I didn’t fully understand how likely that could happen until Jessyd joined us. We’ve nearly been killed twice. If not for Hadrian and sheer luck, you and I would be gone."

  "Which proves that Fate favors us, Syellen. Our time has not yet come."

  "We’re increasing our chances of meeting that time by being on this mission!"

  "The day of our demise is not ours to control, Syellen. When that day comes there is nothing you or I can do to stop it. A fall down the stairs in the Tower of Elders will take your life as surely as Gavedon’s magick." He eased her back from him. He was pleased to see that her brown eyes met his with determination despite her fear. Manix stroked her hair, trying to imagine her if she survived to blossom into a woman, and perhaps someone he could think of differently. "When our time comes to pass over, dear Syellen, let us do it while helping to rid the land of evil rather than while in search of more tea and biscuits. Agreed? I would rather the tale of our demise be a rousing one worth hearing around the fire."

  A crooked smile lit her face. "I suppose that does sound nobler."

  Manix returned her smile, proud of her. In spite of her social deficiencies he thought her an admirable person. "Let us rejoin the others and see if they have managed to survive each other’s company, shall we?"

  Syellen spoke up, though, her countenance worried. "Before we do—I’ve held my tongue thus far out of deference for your judgment. But Caled’s suspicions are too strong to ignore. And, well, I need some reassurance, I suppose."

  Manix nodded. "I understand. What are your concerns?"

  Syellen took a deep breath. "Why do you trust Jessyd when no one else seems to? Do you know something that we don’t? Do you possess secret knowledge from the Council perhaps? Or did he tell you something in confidence? I wonder if—"

  Manix held up his hand to quiet her since once begun she would carry on with a thousand questions. A good trait for a student, but not always practical. "I know no more than you do when it comes to Jessyd. My knowledge comes by his own words."

  He hesitated before saying more. His motives, if known by Syellen, might cause more animosity of a sort he had been attempting to quell. He decided to take a cautious route. "I am willing to trust him because you could say I am testing him. There is a conclusion that I must draw to my satisfaction. Something extremely important that I must know beyond all doubt."

  "His innocence, you mean? You’re testing to see whether he has indeed left the Order? If he’s telling the truth?"

  "To some degree," he admitted, but more than that Syellen was not going to get from him. "You must remember that much of what we think of as truth is dependent upon what we believe as fact. For instance, it is true that I am an Elder because that is a fact. But what if the Council disbanded? I would no longer be an Elder in name, but what of in skill, experience and spirit? Your truth about me as you think you know it would no longer be true because the facts had changed, yes? If facts are subject to question, then so, too, are our truths."

  "So you’re saying you are not certain about a basic fact," Syellen tried, wrinkling her brow. "Something fundamental still bothers you."

  "Yes."

  "About Jessyd, or something else?"

  Not for the first time since becoming an Elder, Manix wondered how much of what he said and did was heard and seen by faraway eyes. He couldn’t help a glance to the horizon as he murmured, "Both. I will say no more."

  When he looked down again, Syellen was watching him with widened eyes. "I saw that. Who do you fear?"

  He smiled gently. "None who will affect my decisions. Come. Let us rejoin the others."

  When he took down the Shielding Cast separating them from the others, he was greeted with an unexpected but not altogether surprising sight.

  "You found a reason to disagree with Jessyd yet again?" he inquired mildly as he approached the men.

  The five were mounted, Hadrian again seated with Caled and looking worse than when Manix had last seen him. His silver eyes were barely visible beneath the heavy droop of his lids. Manix guessed the young sorcerer was barely conscious.

  He and Caled, along with Lio and Gam, had steered their horses to face Jessyd and were watching him with open hostility as though they expected him to attack.

  Manix sighed as he and Syellen approached their own horses. The springs had relaxed him much, but he suspected his ease would soon be a thing of memory.

  "We’re finding a place nearby and camping," Caled announced brusquely, his eyes never leaving Jessyd’s face. "We’re not taking another step until I’m told exactly where we’re headed."

  "Has something happened that I should know about?" Manix mounted his horse and looked to Caled expectantly. "Your mood is considerably darker than should be the case after a relaxing dip in these springs."

  "What’s happened is that he and Hadrian have no problem meting out their insults and accusations, but can’t handle it when I choose to sling them back," Jessyd stated balefully, his horse shifting nervously beneath him. "But then, no one ever enjoys hearing that they’re a traitor, do they, Caledon ni Agthon? Or you, Hadrian ni Leyanon?"

  "I see you’ve given up all hope of winning my favor," the mercenary said. Manix noticed how the blond mercenary’s arm tightened protectively around Hadrian’s midriff. Had the two reconciled their differences while he wasn’t looking? It seemed inconceivable, but somethi
ng had clearly changed in the vengeance-driven man.

  "Is this when we learn your true motives for leading us out here, Jessyd? Or must the deception continue?" Caled looked to Manix. "You’ve trusted him beyond all reason. But I’m not of the same mind, Elder. Jessyd’s made it clear he holds no love for Hades and me. I can’t believe he intends to help us apprehend Gavedon no matter how sorrowfully he weeps."

  Manix returned Caled’s impassioned glare with a level one. "Jessyd does not need to be your friend to lead us where we need to go. As much as we are using him, he is using us. He is a wanted man so long as Gavedon and the Order run free. It is in his interests to see us succeed in bringing them down."

  "But that’s only if he’s truly left the Order," Gam pointed out. The thief gave Jessyd an apologetic look. "If all you’ve told us about how you were treated is true, my sympathy is with you, Jessyd. But we’ve our skins to think about. You haven’t been behaving like a man who’s on our side."

  "And how should such a man behave?" Jessyd spat back. His hand twisted the reins. "Should I grovel before you all? Should I thank you for the kindness and protection of your company? Gavedon may have beaten me, but I’m not a beaten man. Yes, Manix is right that I’m using you to free myself of threat. That doesn’t mean I’ve changed my beliefs about the horror of Rhiad or how you two are shredding its memory by pretending it never occurred. I can still despise you while wanting nothing to do with Gavedon."

  "But you weren’t even there," Lio pointed out. "Why do you care so much about Rhiad?"

  "Because that’s where he blackened the name of sorcery," Jessyd said angrily, staring hard at Hadrian who, Manix saw, had roused some, his cheeks mottled with color. "Becoming a sorcerer was the greatest achievement I’ve ever known and now I have to hide myself like a criminal because of what he did. He’s cast a mantle of shame over all of us!"

  Hadrian’s mouth trembled. "I did what he forced me to," he said in a ragged, emotion-wracked voice. "You don’t—"