This Dark Mirror

by Tricia Owens

  "You little swine," Jessyd snarled. He looked down at his cupped hands full of blood. His eyes narrowed with hate. "I’ll kill you right now and save my father the trouble!"

  Jessyd’s hands flew to Hadrian’s throat. Hadrian’s eyes bulged as Jessyd began to choke the life from him. Hadrian did the only thing he could.

  He flung his legs over his head. He began to flip, and he took Jessyd with him, tumbling them both out of the saddle to the hard, rocky ground. The violent action startled their horse, which galloped into the darkness, abandoning them.

  Hadrian landed on the side of his head and one shoulder. Jessyd fared worse, striking the ground directly on the top of his skull. Hadrian heard the dull thud and felt the fingers around his throat fall away.

  Hadrian didn’t possess the strength to crawl away, so he rolled onto his side, trying to dislodge Jessyd’s body from his. The other sorcerer was half sprawled atop him, head to the earth. Jessyd groaned quietly.

  "He’s not your father," Hadrian said to him, tears gathering in his eyes. "He’ll never love you the way he loves me."

  Jessyd’s limbs twitched, sliding off Hadrian to the ground. Realizing he was still in danger, Hadrian tried to roll farther away. A pale hand shot out and latched onto his arm. Jessyd lifted his head. Blood continued to drip from his broken nose and a second stream of crimson trickled from the top of his head over one eye. The unbloodied eye that fixed on Hadrian was full of hate.

  "I wasn’t supposed to—transport you this way because Gavedon—doesn’t trust—it." Jessyd spoke slowly, his words slightly slurred. "But there’s no—helping it now. We’re going."

  Hadrian had no idea what the other man meant until he felt the buzz of energy in the air as Jessyd formed magick.

  Hadrian tried to pry Jessyd’s hand loose but the other sorcerer had a death grip on his arm. On the other side of Jessyd, the air warped like a pane of glass that had been inexpertly heated. A portal was forming and Hadrian could guess where it led.

  "Going to kill you," Jessyd gasped. He bared a bloody grin. "My father will."

  Jessyd’s body began to slide toward the portal as if sucked there, dragging Hadrian with it. Hadrian clawed at Jessyd’s fingers but the other man wouldn’t release him. They both continued to slide to the darkness. Jessyd began to laugh as his feet and then lower legs disappeared into the portal.

  If Jessyd succeeding in taking Hadrian to Gavedon, Jessyd would kill him no matter how long he had to wait to do it. Hadrian knew this with a certainty. He was the rival Jessyd couldn't risk having around for long, for fear Gavedon would forgive him and allow him back into favor.

  Hadrian didn't care if he died. In many ways it would be a blessing to end what had become a miserable existence. But the lifebond taunted him. If he died, Caled would die, and Caled's life was the only thing of value anymore, the only thing Hadrian could not risk no matter the personal cost to himself.

  He reached inside himself. There—just behind his breastbone—he found it, the beat, not of Life, but of his own heart, dull and wearied. He still had difficulty believing this was possible. And he still cringed from the action, remembering how it had felt to do it. But he had no choice if he wanted to save Caled. He pulled energy from himself, grunting as his heart stuttered and his vision grayed. It was a horrifying sensation and Hadrian felt his lips curling back off his teeth at the primal violation—

  But though he possessed the will, his body failed him. He could tell he was dying, and taking Caled with him. This was no solution. He needed energy from elsewhere.

  He extended his senses with a grim sense of inevitability, searching for the miracle of a tree somewhere in the stark plains whose energy might grant Hadrian enough strength to fight off Jessyd. It was like digging in the sand and hoping to find a diamond. Impossible.

  Or was it?

  A pulse of energy. A heartbeat. Something lived out there in the darkness. By the strength of its beating heart it was a large animal. Or a man. Hadrian's exhausted heart tried to flutter. Had Caled followed him out here?

  No, because he and Jessyd would have seen the glow radiating off of the mercenary's skin when Jessyd used his magick to check if they were being followed. It must be Jessyd’s horse. Still terrible. Still horribly wrong. But... Hadrian told himself he had done so much already. His hands couldn't be stained any darker with blood.

  Since he refused to let Caled die because of him, he reached out with his magick, imagining that it was his own heart out there in the darkness, waiting to be tapped. He began to pull from that life form, unsure if he was actually capable of doing such a thing since he had never before tried. Sweat dripped into his eyes. Gravel tore at his clothing as Jessyd dragged him inexorably closer to the portal, which had already swallowed half of the other sorcerer, taking him to wherever Gavedon was on the other end. Still Hadrian pulled and ignored the conscience that tried to stop him. Nothing would prevent him from saving Caled's life.

  Energy began to dribble toward him from the darkness.

  He sucked in a breath, barely able to believe that he'd succeeded. He curled his gloved fingers against the ground, trying to slow his progress toward the portal and gain a few precious seconds to do what he needed to. He yanked at the energy source with all his might, knowing he needed an abrupt burst of strength to surprise Jessyd and escape his clutches. As he pulled, more energy surged along the connection. Hadrian felt it gathering at his fingertips, slowly coalescing into a ball. Still too small. He needed more.

  "You'll die knowing Gavedon has forgotten you," Jessyd said breathless with either excitement or the effort of dragging Hadrian into the portal. "He's already replaced you with me."

  Teeth clenched, Hadrian pulled with all his might—

  And froze when he heard a faint cry float across the lonely plains.

  Jessyd whipped his head toward the sound. "Who—”

  Hadrian shut his eyes rather than look. It was Lio's voice. Lio's was the life force he had sensed. Somehow the thief had managed to draw near to them without being detected by Jessyd's sorcery...but to Lio's misfortune.

  He wasn't a horse or a wild dog out there in the dark. Not some dumb beast whose life could be considered inconsequential compared to Caled's, at least in Hadrian's mind. This precious energy source was a man, like all the men Hadrian had murdered in Rhiad. Worse, he was someone he knew. Someone he could almost call a friend.

  He is a friend. A true friend to Caled, willing to risk his own safety to assist the mercenary. What do you think he would say if you told him his very life was needed to save Caled's?

  But quick on the heels of that question came another: You aren't able to ask his permission. Are you heartless enough, selfish enough, to make that choice for him?

  Jessyd began to laugh, the sound maniacal. Hadrian opened his eyes and looked back. Jessyd was in the portal up to his armpits, and so were Hadrian’s boots. The sight smashed Hadrian’s reservations. He was going to be pulled into that portal if he didn’t do something right then and there.

  You’re not good, Hadrian. You’re not innocent. You’ve pulled energy from yourself, which only Gavedon can do. Why run from the power of your blood? If you can’t be the man that Caled wants, at least give him the chance to fall in love with someone who can.

  You’re a ni Leyanon. Your blood is black. Embrace your strength.

  “I’m sorry,” Hadrian sobbed aloud. It was an apology for living. An apology for being.

  Then he acted.

  Lio cried out again more weakly as Hadrian siphoned more energy from the thief. The air temperature dropped, and he thought he saw his panting breaths coalescing into tiny clouds in front of his face. The ground slicked with patches of ice, burning through the fabric of his clothing. Or maybe all of that was only in Hadrian’s mind as he wrapped himself in layer upon layer of glacial apathy in the hopes that he’d stop questioning this terrible crime he was committing.

  Magickal energy surged to his hands. He rolled onto his back, o
nto one hip and sat up. Jessyd was within the portal now, his pale face barely distinguishable from within the blackness. Hadrian’s knees were inside that darkness, too, and soon the rest of him would follow, hurtling into Gavedon’s clutches.

  “Soon,” Hadrian whispered. “But not with Caled.”

  He blasted the portal with the energy he had stolen from Lio. The portal wasn’t a strong entity, and Jessyd’s face paled in realization as the sorcerous construct began to collapse around him. Hadrian battered it with the last of his magick, while at the same time yanking back with his feet. Jessyd lost his grip. He started to yell. The portal closed and the air twisted and was still.

  Hadrian was left staring across the rocky plain, alone but for a single thief whom he had murdered.

  ~~~~~

  The others came. Hadrian was as stiff as a corpse as he was pulled into Caled’s arms and kissed so deeply and with such emotion that it seemed it must be a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare. When Caled broke the kiss, his brows knit in confusion at Hadrian’s lack of reciprocation, Hadrian wished he could die.

  Still holding Hadrian, Caled scanned the area urgently. “Is Jessyd still—“

  “He’s gone. Back to Gavedon. My father.”

  It was a point that needed making. They were blood. They were of a kind.

  Murderers.

  Betrayers.

  Ni Leyanons.

  Caled’s relief was cautious. Hadrian hid behind the ice wall as he watched the handsome mercenary struggle to understand Hadrian’s cool attitude.

  “Did he hurt you?” Caled asked, fear and anger making his blue eyes burn.

  “I’m not the victim here.” Rather than explain, Hadrian pointed into the darkness. “Lio is out there. I killed him.”

  Caled startled in shock. Gam, behind him, let out a loud gasp. Hadrian could sense Manix and Syellen, beyond his sight, likewise surprised.

  “I needed energy to defeat Jessyd. I had none left of my own. So I stole Lio’s life to fuel my sorcery.”

  The matter of fact manner in which he described the killing of Caled’s friend turned Hadrian’s stomach despite his attempt to distance himself. Its effect on the others was equally as striking. Gam whimpered, as if he were a child who’d just been told his puppy had been run over by a cart. Caled blanched, and then, very slowly and very deliberately, moved Hadrian away from him. Left to stand alone, Hadrian felt like a stalagmite of ice jutting from the earth, waiting to be shattered by a single blow.

  “You speak the truth,” Caled said hoarsely, searching Hadrian’s face almost desperately, hoping to find the lie.

  “Go find him so the beasts and buzzards don’t eat his body.”

  Caled flinched as if Hadrian had slapped him.

  Gam took off at a sprint, shouting Lio’s name. Hadrian stared at nothing as they waited for the thief to find his friend. Caled’s gaze bored into Hadrian, as if willing him to break and admit this was a terrible jest.

  If only...

  “Master, if he’s truly done what he’s done...this is like Rhiad!”

  Syellen’s declaration lingered in the air, a noose of guilt that waited to tighten around Hadrian’s neck.

  “Hadrian, when you pulled the life energy from Lio, did you understand the consequences of your actions?” Manix asked.

  “Yes. But I couldn’t allow Jessyd to take me to Gavedon.”

  There were so many explanations he could have given, so many excuses that might have saved him, but he chose that one. Let them interpret it as they would. Hadrian could tell, from his quick glimpse at Caled’s face, that the mercenary had chosen one of the worst ways.

  “I suppose the terror you showed beneath the Fang Hook Cliffs when your father threatened to appear was meant to warn me,” Caled said, his voice barely audible. “Are you telling me you’re a coward? You would sacrifice every life but your own to avoid confronting Gavedon?”

  Hadrian said nothing. He couldn’t deny it. Not while Lio’s body lay out in the dirt.

  “Liar.”

  Startled, Hadrian’s gaze jumped back to the other man.

  Caled watched him intently, scrutinizing every inch of Hadrian’s face for reaction. “You’re twisted inside. But gods help me, I’m beginning to understand how and why you are, and I’m probably the only man in Juxtan willing to untangle you.”

  “I killed your friend,” Hadrian protested.

  “He murdered Lio to save his own life!” Syellen added.

  “If that’s true, he’ll pay the price.” Caled took a step back. Then another. As if building distance to better swing his sword. “I’ll do the deed myself. But we wait. I know you too well, Hades. This isn’t as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

  Hadrian didn’t understand. Was the mercenary so infatuated with him that he would forgive Hadrian the death of his good friend?

  But no, there was something in Caled’s eyes, something knowing which made Hadrian shiver and look away. Caled recognized the killer in him, respected the danger he presented, but for some reason still believed that he could be redeemed.

  “You’re an idiot,” Hadrian declared.

  “You’re not what you seem,” the mercenary retorted.

  Their heads turned at a shout from Gam out in the dark.

  “Say again!” Caled shouted back, his eyes returning to Hadrian. Hadrian didn’t look away.

  “He’s alive! Lio’s alive!”

  Hadrian’s knees buckled. Strong arms caught him as he crumpled and lowered him carefully to the hard ground. He stared dumbly at his hands in his lap as Caled loomed over him.

  “You didn’t murder him, but you did something no one knew you could do, Hades.”

  “Yes,” Hadrian whispered.

  “He is a greater danger than the Council understands,” said Manix. “The ability to steal life energy from men...I am afraid this changes the situation dramatically.”

  “Am I your prisoner now?” Hadrian asked the ground, not caring what the Elder’s answer would be.

  “You will be restrained going forward, yes. You have left me no choice.”

  Hadrian didn’t want to hear about choices. “You would be wise, considering the new danger I present, to remove the lifebond connecting me to Caled. Otherwise you’re condemning an innocent man to certain death.”

  Manix hesitated. Hadrian sensed the Elder was sharing a look with Caled. “We shall see.”

  It was the best he could hope for. Hadrian closed his eyes and gave in to the soul-deep weariness that reached for him. Perhaps he would wake and his and Caled’s fates would be their own again. As his chin touched his chest and consciousness began to melt away, a heavy hand stroked his hair.

  “Sleep deeply,” Caled whispered into his ear, “but know this: you won’t be rid of me so easily, my ice-borne sorcerer. When you awake, I’ll still be here and things will be different. For you and for us.”

  Hadrian felt like weeping. He wanted to search Caled’s eyes and see for himself the promise mirrored there. But he could only trust in the words which wrapped around him like an embrace. For now, it was enough. For now, he surrendered to a darkness that brought him only peace.

  Much love to the readers of JuxtaposeFantasy, who made Hadrian and every other character possible.

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