Killmore

by Martha Sweeney

  “Was that your excuse to get out of the house?” Paul speculates.

  “Yes,” Laurie confirms, sipping her tea.

  “I’ll see what our contacts may know about Jack being alive…they might not have him as Jack in the system now, so I’ll need to run him as Jay,” Paul states. “Did you get a last name for him?”

  “No,” Laurie and I affirm at the same time.

  Paul nods as he stares at the floor. I can see that his brain is running more than a mile a minute at everything that’s been discussed. The three of us sit in silence for a while, sipping on our drinks until Laurie gets up and starts making dinner. I offer to help her, but she denies my assistance. I think she needs to get into a certain zone to be able to process and handle everything, so I let her do her thing.

  Paul leaves after dinner which was pretty much a conversation-less meal. I want to believe that he hasn’t known about Jack being alive let alone involved with Quintin, but I’m just not sure. I know there are things he’s not telling me from this case.

  I try to console Laurie, but she’s quiet and distant. She heads up to bed earlier than usual, which concerns me. I’ve seen her mad, but this is something completely different. I don’t expect her to be herself. She did just find out the man she killed is still alive. It makes sense on both parts her coping and the fact that she was under the impression that he was dead. If Jack was wearing a kevlar vest, even at a close range he wouldn’t die, not unless the gun Laurie used contained armor piercing bullets, which I highly doubt was the case.

  To distract myself, I keep an eye on the monitor with the volume lower than usual so I can hear Laurie if she comes out of her bedroom. As I scan back through the feed, there’s nothing from before Laurie was at Quintin’s until now that reveal anything we don’t already know. There is confirmation, however that Jay, aka Jack, is staying in town for a little while, but no one says specifically as to how long during conversations when Laurie was there and after she had left. Becky better call Laurie sooner than later because I know it’s not safe for Laurie to stay here.

  My emotions get to the better of me, making me more tired than I should be. I head upstairs, change, and then grab a pillow and blanket to sleep on the couch. Whether she needs me or not, wants me or not, I need to be here for Laurie. My mind races through everything from the beginning since I started working this case with Paul, trying to see if there’s anything that would make sense of Jack’s involvement. I meant what I said to Laurie that I won’t let anyone hurt her ever again.

  My body wakes with a jolt after hearing a woman scream. Funny, I don’t remember dreaming. A noise from Laurie’s bedroom catches my attention and I realize that it wasn’t a dream. The dogs bark and whimper, as if they’re calling to me to help her. Jumping off the couch, I grab the closest gun, rush up the stairs and bang on the door once I realize it’s locked. The dogs continue to whimper as Laurie lets out another sounds. This time it’s a noise like that of her being choked or suffocated. With one large step back, I press my body against the railing, support myself with my hands on either side, and kick the door open. The dogs almost trip me as I dart inside.

  “Laurie!” I shout.

  She lays rigid, almost in a state like she's tied down and unable to move. Her eyes remain shut as they dance under her lids.

  “Laurie, baby,” I call after placing the gun on the nightstand.

  “Nooooooo…” she yells in an eerie tone.

  “Laurie, honey,” I call. “You need to wake up. It’s just a dream.” My hands frantically shake her shoulders.

  “I’ll kill you,” she says slowly with her jaw locked tight.

  “Laurie, wake up,” I command, smacking her across the face.

  Her body launches to a sitting position and she sucks in a large gulp of air, as if she hadn’t been breathing this whole time.

  “Laurie…Pix,” I say.

  She turns to look at me, suddenly twisting us and securing me under her on the bed, placing a choke hold on me.

  “Laurie,” I eek out, tapping her arm. “Baby, it’s me…Aiden.”

  “Aiden?” she asks. Her hands let me go and she turns on a light. “What are you doing in here?”

  “You were screaming,” I mention. “I heard some weird noises and I thought someone got inside the house even though the alarm hadn’t gone off.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, looking at me and brushing her fingers along my neck. “Did I hurt you?”

  “Nothing out of the ordinary,” I try to joke.

  A timid smile pops on her face.

  “I’m okay,” I soothe, sitting up. “How about you?”

  “Fine,” she lies, deflecting the truth.

  “Pix,” I say, sliding closer to her on the bed.

  “I’m fine,” she repeats.

  “I know you’re lying,” I challenge.

  She looks at me with tears in her eyes.

  “It’s okay, Pix,” I offer. “It’s just me. I’m here. Just talk to me.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she insists.

  “Maybe later?” I inquire gently.

  Her mouth tucks to the right. “Maybe.”

  “Okay,” I reply. “Do you want some water or something.”

  “No,” she answers.

  I don’t move, watching her, hoping she’ll talk to me. I don’t want to leave her, not like this. We sit in silence for several long minutes.

  “Aiden,” she mumbles.

  “Yeah, Pix,” I return.

  “Will…will you stay with me?” she asks reluctantly.

  “Of course,” I affirm with a smile.

  “No sex,” she sys quickly.

  “No sex,” I agree, sliding under the covers with her, waiting for her to tell me what she needs. “I’m just here.”

  “Aiden,” she calls.

  “Yeah, Pix?”

  “Will…will you hold me?” she questions nervously.

  “Of course,” I confirm happily.

  We get settle together under the blankets with me between her and the door, the dogs on either side of us, and her head on my chest as we gaze out the skylight. My fingers gently brush through strands of Laurie’s damp hair as I hold her tight against me. There’s no way I’m every going to let this woman go, not for as long as I’m alive.

  Fifty One - Laurie

  My eyes flutter open to a pounding headache, a dry mouth and a warm body wrapped around mine that isn’t covered in fur. It takes me a moment to realize where I am and that I’m not dreaming. The beat of my heart quickly settles, realizing that Aiden is next to me. I find myself enjoying the fact that he’s here, reluctant to get up for any reason, especially to have to deal with reality.

  At some point, I’m able to roll out from under his arms when the need to use the bathroom can no longer be avoided. The dogs follow me into the bathroom and I close the door the majority of the way, needing it to stay open partially for some strange reason. Once I rinse my hands, I stick my mouth in the middle of the running water and start chugging to ease my hoarse throat.

  “Laurie?” Aiden’s voice faintly calls to me.

  “I’m here,” I announce softly as I enter the bedroom.

  “You okay, Pix?” he checks sweetly as he rolls to face me.

  “Yeah,” I affirm. “Just needed to pee.”

  Aiden’s mouth turns into an irritably, sexy smile and my desires heighten. “Come back to bed, Pix,” he coaxes.

  I pretend like I’m considering it for a second even though the decision to join him has already been made. As I slide back into the bed, he takes a hold of me and rolls us so I’m back on the side where I had been sleeping. His lips greet mine gently, though there’s desire and desperation felt with his touch. The thought that I hadn’t brushed my teeth presents itself, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Plus, I know he hasn’t brushed his and he doesn’t seem to mind that fact either.

  “How’d you sleep?” he asks, moving his lips to my chin and neck.

>   “Okay,” I return.

  “Just okay?” he checks, tasting more of my body.

  “Mm hm,” I reply, enjoying the tingling that is starting to expand through me.

  “Let’s see if I can make it better,” he insists slyly.

  “Okay,” I agree, wanting to stay here, away from reality as long as I can.

  It doesn’t take long for Aiden to realize that I want more than to just make out with him in my bed. He’s excited for it to turn into sex, but takes his time like he’s savoring every single second of it. After both of us are well beyond satisfied in my bed, we have another round in my large walk-in shower.

  “Hey, Pix,” Aiden says as we stretch from working out.

  Instead of going outside, wanting to minimize my exposure to anyone or anything, we decide to spar rather than run. Aiden has the monitor playing with the audio turned up a little bit, allowing us to hear anything while we were focused on our exercises and now while we stretch.

  “Yeah?” I reply, hesitantly looking at him since I know that his tone means he’s going to ask me something he’s pretty sure I don’t want to talk about.

  “You don’t have to tell me…” he starts, “but, I’m hoping that you’re willing to share…about the dream.”

  I look away from him, not because I’m mad, but because I know I need to tell him and can’t look at him directly as I do. I need to tell someone, and he’s the only one I trust right now.

  “It was about Jack,” I say timidly. When Aiden doesn’t say anything after I pause, I look at him. “It wasn’t like the others.”

  “What others?” Aiden inquires gently.

  “For a few years after Miami,” I continue, “I’d dream about the night I killed Jack…it would replay over and over again. Waking up not because I had killed him, but because his ghost would suddenly show up not long after I had shot him in the dream, like he was haunting me.”

  Aiden nods. “How was this one different?” he asks, sliding closer to me.

  My eyes start to sting as water pools in them. The dream was so vivid that I can still see every single detail as if it’s happening to me all over again. I shake my head, wanting to clear it of the images.

  “Pix,” Aiden says, touching my hand. “I’m here…and, you're safe.”

  I half smile and nod. “This time was completely different,” I explain. “It was like I was awake and aware of everything in my dream. At first, I found him tying me down to my own bed. As hard as I fought to stop him, I couldn’t move. My body was stuck, even my limbs that hadn’t been tied down yet. The ropes burned into my skin,” I say, rubbing my wrists as if I can feel it all again. “Then…then he kneeled over me…I was completely exposed…naked…and the harder I pulled at my arms and legs, the more the rope dug into my body, peeling back my flesh.”

  “It’s okay,” Aiden soothes, pulling me into him.

  “It wasn’t bad when he used me…used my body like he had so many times before,” I share. “But…when he finished…he had just started with me.” I pause, scared to say what happened next out loud, for fear of it really happening. “He…he had a knife…a really big…a really sharp one.”

  “I’m here, Pix,” Aiden reminds. “No one will hurt you, I promise.”

  “He started at the outsides of my legs…dragging the edge of the blade down my skin, pushing just hard enough to draw the slightest bit of blood,” I explain, demonstrating with my finger. “Then…then he did the same to my arms.”

  “You’re safe, baby,” Aiden’s voice states. “I’ve got you.”

  “Next, he repeated the same pull of the metal against other areas of my body…but, that time pressing harder, tearing my flesh apart. I watched him slowly shred my skin, digging the knife deeper in each time to where it was not only hitting muscle, but bone.”

  “You’re safe now, baby,” Aiden reminds, trying to keep me in the present. “I’ve got you.”

  “Then, when I thought he was just going to let me bleed out until I died…” I stop, not wanting to finish, despite my deep rooted need to share. “He cut me more…everywhere…my arms…my legs…my hands…my feet…my stomach…my face…saving my throat for last.” Sobs break free from my throat as my body convulses from the memory that felt so fucking real.

  “It’s okay, baby,” Aiden calls sweetly. “You’re safe with me. He’s not going to hurt you. I won’t let him and you’re too strong to let him hurt you too.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh.

  “I’m serious,” Aiden says. “You’re strong. You can handle this.”

  “Thanks,” I reply half-heartedly.

  “I promise, Pix,” Aiden states. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I’d die before I….”

  “Don’t say that, Aiden,” I interrupt.

  “It’s true,” he insists.

  “Don’t,” I protest.

  “Well, I would,” Aiden challenges.

  My head snaps back so I can look at him.

  “I would,” he repeats. “Because…because I love you.”

  “Aiden,” I huff, feeling like I can’t breathe any more.

  “I love you, Leia Badeau,” Aiden professes.

  “She’s dead,” I insist.

  “Then, I love you, Laurie Breitsprecher,” he corrects.

  My head shakes. “I….”

  “Don’t worry, Pix,” Aiden says, cutting me off. “You don’t have to say anything.”

  “But….”

  “I don’t care if it scares the fucking crap out of you,” he announces. “I need you to know.”

  I don’t reply and I don’t move, enjoying the feeling of his embrace.

  Aiden’s lips lower to mine tentatively, as if he’s not sure if I’ll slap him or try to break free. After a few seconds, his mouth parts slightly from mine, only to come back with more confidence and force. He presses my body backward until I’m laying on the floor and I willingly comply. Anything to keep the complexity of my life from coming to the forefront of my mind the better. He leaves the embrace temporarily, turning off the monitor and audio quickly, and then returns to hovering over my body. With all of his emotions visible in his eyes, Aiden takes me, takes my body, and shows me how much he’s felt for me without words, having his lips show me in ways I’m sure words could never express. Aiden’s hands touch me with sincerity, desperation and longing. It doesn’t take long for our physical desires to shadow, even if just temporarily, the predicament that faces us.

  Sweaty from our workout, and sex, Aiden and I take a shower and he ends up joining me in my bathroom again. I don’t mind him being with me, needing him like a reminder. A reminder that I’m not alone. I allow my subconscious to figure out my next steps for handling Quintin, Jack and the Feds while I stay in the present, wrapped in his arms and his love.

  After breakfast, we snuggle on the couch with the dogs. At some point, I wake up in a daze. From the time on the clock, we’ve been on the couch for at least two hours and I must have been asleep for about an hour. Seeing that Aiden is still knocked out, I carefully remove myself from his embrace. Two minutes later, I’m in the truck with the dogs and headed for the reserve. I text Becky the numbers 234 which is our signal for an emergency. What’s happening is an emergency and I can’t believe that she hasn’t gotten back to me.

  About a half hour into my drive, Aiden calls, but I don’t pick up right away. When he calls a third time in just a few minutes, I text back that I’m fine and will be home later. Clearly not approving of my response, Aiden sends a bunch of messages asking me where I am, who I’m with and if I’m okay. I respond that I’m fine and just need a little time.

  It takes all afternoon and into the early evening to talk with Trudy’s parents and to get certain things taken care of just in case shit suddenly happens in town that forces me to leave. I need to know that Trudy, her boys, and the Lenards will all be safe. I can’t protect everyone in town, I wish I could. I can at least get those closest to me to safety. It’s just a matter of time whe
n everything will start to unravel. Paul and Aiden are capable of taking care of themselves, but I give some information for them to the Chief also.

  “Where the fuck were you, Pix?” Aiden asks heatedly as I’m halfway out of the truck.

  “Out,” I retort, slamming the door and following him inside.

  “Where? I was worried,” he says.

  “I texted that I was fine,” I remind.

  “I called Trudy and she was worried too,” Aiden states.

  “I know…she texted too,” I share.

  “Pix,” Aiden coaxes.

  “I just needed some air…some time to breathe,” I explain. “I just needed some time to think.”

  “I could have been with you,” Aiden suggests.

  “I needed to do it on my own,” I say.

  “You could have woken me,” Aiden presses.

  “I needed some time, Aiden,” I reply. “I need to figure things out.”

  “I could have helped…I can help,” he pushes gently.

  “I needed to do it myself,” I sigh, too tired to have a fight.

  “But….”

  “Aiden, please…” I interrupt. “Please. I’m fine. I’m here.”

  “Is there anything I can do…any way that I can help?” he asks.

  “Not right now,” I return.

  “Have you heard from Becky?” he inquires, changing the subject.

  “No…which worries me,” I say.

  “Me too,” Aiden replies. “Is this normal for her? I mean, how long it takes for her to get back to you?”

  “No,” I confirm. “Forty-eight hours or less is always her response time.”

  “From here on out, Pix, you don’t go anywhere outside this house without me or someone who can help monitor your surroundings.”

  “I’ve got the dogs,” I remind.

  “They can’t see if someone’s watching you from a distance,” Aiden challenges.

  “I know how to take care of myself,” I state.

  “I know you do, baby,” Aiden confirms. “It’s just easier knowing where you are. How can I help protect you if I don’t know?”

  “Like I said, I can protect….”