“You know, earlier, when you accused me of being embarrassed to be seen with you…yeah, that’s not the case at all. You know that, right?” I asked her.
She stopped eating her ice cream. The wind was blowing the short edges of her hair that weren’t tugged under her hat around her face. She turned away to sweep her hair aside as she said, “Sorry about that. I guess some insecurities die hard.”
“What do you mean?”
Looking back at me, she squinted then shrugged. “Just the typical high school insecurities. Jenny McIntyre made my life a living hell. Which I’m sure you know nothing about—I mean, look at you.” She gestured toward my body. “I’m sure no one has ever messed with you and lived to tell the tale.”
“I was a quarter of my current size back in high school. But no, it wasn’t so bad for me.” It had been a different story from my brother though. A story that I assumed had to be similar to Ellie’s and I felt for her. No one should have to put up with that kind of shit simply because they didn’t fit into some ‘ideal’ society tried to fit them into. Not my brother and certainly not Ellie.
“I had Noah though,” she said with a half-smile. “We were two outcasts, but we had each other.” She stood to her feet, ready to toss the last bite of her ice cream cone in a nearby trashcan.
“Wait.” I stood. Taking her wrist, I stopped her hand in mid-air and drew her fingers toward my mouth. This was the first time we’d touched in hours and I purposely made my movements slow. Not asking for her permission, and despite the pounding in my chest, I ate the last bite of her ice cream cone right out of her hand. “The end is the best part,” I muttered, keeping my eyes on her.
And there it was—color to her cheeks and a small, quick intake of breath.
Fuck the idea of friendship.
That wasn’t what was happening between us at all. And now I had no doubts.
“I’m glad you had Noah,” I said softly, staying close to her now that the opportunity had presented itself. “Your brother referred to him as a lost puppy you brought home one day.”
She nodded, her eyes filling with emotion. I half expected her to pull her hand from my grip, but she didn’t. “I suppose we were both lost puppies.”
Her comment made me need to swallow down a lump in my throat.Why did this girl affect me so much?“I lied before,” I said. “You asked me about the fame thing and I brushed off your question. It does bother me. It shouldn’t but it does.” Never before had I admitted that out loud. But something about Ellie demanded honesty and I had to give it to her. The blood in my veins pulsed as I waited on her reaction.
Instead of commenting on my confession, she pressed her lips against mine. Her kiss was nothing R-rated like our earlier kisses, just a quick press of her lips to mine, but it kind of meant everything to me. She was so warm and soft and she smelled like sunshine. Despite our very public setting, my cock stirred at her nearness. I was forced to ignore it. Nevertheless, I knew something special was happening between us. I only hoped I was right about her since I’d been so wrong about Kelly.
“Jesus, you’re easy to like,” she said against my mouth. “It might be a problem.”
I was glad she was having that problem because I was having it too.
CHAPTER 10:
ELLIE
My day with Nathanial ended way too soon. Even on the car ride back to the hotel, as Noah drove, he slept. And when I say slept, I mean it was like someone had drugged him. I was noticing a pattern. The guy could sleep on planes, in cars, and probably anywhere else he had to.
“Let’s talk about him now that he’s asleep,” Rhett whispered, annoying as ever, popping his head up close to mine from the third row of seats in the rental car. “He’s totally into you. You do realized that, right Ellie May?”
Oh my God, I wantto kill him. I turned around, without making a sound, and slugged Rhett in the arm.
“Ouch, woman,” he groaned. “I just wanted to make sure you told him you like the ladies and that he knows he’s barking up the wrong tree. He’s a nice guy and all, but don’t let him pressure you just because he’sNate West.”
“I’m still so embarrassed,” Georgina huffed softly from the front seat. “Asking him all those questions about what he did for a job. Why didn’t one of you stop me? I didn’t know who he was and I feel like such an ass.”
It had taken Georgie half the day to figure out who Nathanial really was. No one had said anything, not even Noah, because it had been freaking hilarious watching her talk to him like he was a regular guy. Actually, I think even Nathanial had enjoyed her lack of recognition.
“It was cute,” Noah told her. “Too cute to stop.”
She sighed and buried her face in her hands. But then turned around to stare at me. “I hate to say it, but I agree with Rhett…he likes you. What’s going on?”
So much for keeping secrets. “Nothing,” I said, not willing to admit anything, ever. “He knows I’m a lesbian. And thanks for your concern, Rhett, but I’m not someone who can be easilypressured. Don’t you already know that about me?”
“Sure. Sure,” was his only response.
We reached the hotel, where we dropped off Sydney and Rhett. I didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on between them. They’d been weird around each other all day. Not talking to one another but not mad either. Maybe they just needed to screw each other all over again and get it out of their systems. I invited them to come to our dinner with Ben, but both refused. That was probably best. I was nervous enough for this evening and needed a night off from Rhett’s wiseass remarks.
It took us another hour to drive out to Malibu. When booking our hotel, I never considered how far we were from Ben’s old lady friend. And it was nearly eight when we pulled up in her driveway, way later than the original time for dinner.
Nathanial woke up the second the car stopped moving. “Thanks for letting me tag along today, guys,” he told the group through a yawn as we exited the car. “I hope the dinner with Ben goes well. I’m going to head home.” He nodded at me. “Bye, Ellie.” And then started walking off toward his house.
That’s it!?I wanted to scream at him. The whole day had sort of felt like a first date and now he was leaving me with nothing else, not even a proper goodbye. Holding my tongue, I turned away and led the others up toward Mrs. Stone’s front door.Seriously? What the fuck was that about?
With a little too much force and aggression, I pounded on the front door. When Ben answered, at least for the moment, thoughts of Nathanial subsided.
* * *
“And Georgina is here too,” Ben said with a look of pure shock on his face. “I figured you’d bring Noah. You always bring Noah…but Gina too? How many other people have you told, Ellie? The whole OBX? No one was supposed to know.”
“It’s good to see you too,Ben. Alive and all.” Georgie pushed past me and surprised the daylights out of me by engulfing Ben in a giant hug despite his rude greeting. She clung onto him as a sob escaped her lips. I stood there like a dummy, too frightened to comment or react. Then Georgie pulled away from our brother and scowled at him. “Don’t you ever do something so stupid again,” she half-cried, half-laughed. “And nobody calls me Gina anymore. It’s Georgie or Georgina now.”
“In the eighth grade you said you’d tell everyone I wet the bed if I ever called you Georgie again,” Ben remarked.
“Yeah, well, things change.”
An old lady who I had to assume was Mrs. Stone came slowly walking up to us. “Hello,” she squealed, giving us all hugs as if we were old friends. “Come in. This way. Dinner is ready.”
We followed her down a wide hallway that led to a grand dining room. The table was made of a pale wood and the chairs were crisp white. A huge mosaic of driftwood, shells, and sea-glass hung on the wall. It was the prettiest piece of art I’d ever seen. And the aroma of whatever we were having for dinner…heavenly.
“Something smells delicious,” I whispered to Noah as we took our seats.
He let out what can only be described as a grunt as he sat down.
“That’s Ben,” Mrs. Stone gushed. “He’s become such an amazing cook. He does all the cooking around here. I’d probably starve without him. Anywho, I already ate, kiddos, so I’m going to be in the living room watching my favorite show,Dragon Wars. Nate West is my neighbor, you know. Can’t miss his show.”
Shit. It was Sunday. I was missing my favorite show too.
“If you need anything, please help yourselves,” she called over her shoulder as she left us.
I liked Mrs. Stone. She had a warm smile and a happy way about her. As long as there was no hibbidy-dibbidy going on with her and my brother, God forbid because she was ancient, then she seemed like a cool old bird. Except now I was super bummed about missing Nathanial’s show. I had never missed an episode. This was upsetting on many levels.
I grabbed a roll and bit off a giant chunk, grumbling to myself.
As I was caught up wishing I could go watch the show with Mrs. Stone, a tense silence fell over the room. It brought my attention back to the task at hand. It seemed none of us knew what to say to each other and I couldn’t just blurt out,oh, by the way, Georgie tried to kill herself because of your stupid fake-death, Ben. That would be incredibly insensitive, even though part of me wanted to say it so that I could make Ben understand the full consequences of his actions. Somehow I still didn’t think he understood just how much pain he’d caused.
“What have you been doing for the past nine months?” Noah asked, randomly, his voice low. Of all people to talk first, I never would have bet on Noah breaking the silence. And of all questions? That?
Ben set his fork down and took a breath. “I’ve been helping Carrie—er, Mrs. Stone—mostly. Around the house…with the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Stuff like that. She wasn’t kidding about heralmost starving comment. The arthritis in her hands has gotten so bad that she can’t do many of the things that the rest of us take for granted. Like opening the lid to the pickle jar. Even gripping the handle on the fridge is hard for her.”
The steam rolling off Noah was nearly tangible. ‘Helping out the elderly’ hadn’t been the answer he’d been looking for. Actually, I don’t think it was a good enough answer for me either. Meanwhile, Georgie hadn’t said a single word since we stepped foot into this house. Instead she carefully and calmly ate her pork tenderloin.
“So,” Ben asked, continuing the conversation, oblivious to Noah’s silent rage, “how about you all? What have I missed? Gina—Georgie? How are you and Logan?”
Noah coughed into his fist like he was choking on something, but he hadn’t even taken one bite. If Ben couldn’t feel the tension in the room, then my brother had serious mental problems.Hell, letting the rest of the world think you were dead? That probably already qualified a person for the looney bin. I needed to step in before the room exploded.
Georgie beat me to it though, saying, “Logan and I broke up a while ago. I’m with Noah now.”
“Wait, what? You’re kidding me.” Ben narrowed his eyes at Georgie, then Noah, and then at me like I might contradict her or something. “She’s kidding, right?”
“No,” I answered sharply. “Why would she kid?”
“This is a…wow,” Ben said, pulling his fingers through his overgrown wavy brown hair. “The only thing more shocking than this would be if Ellie suddenly announced she wasn’t gay anymore.”
He meant that as a joke, I understood that, but his words stuck a nerve. Normally, the peacekeeper in me would have spoken up right about now. I’d spent a lifetime mediating between my siblings, but I stayed silent. I wanted to see how this would play out.
“What exactly are you trying to say?” Georgina asked Ben. A lot of credit could be given to Noah’s protectiveness over her—but the reverse was true as well. Her politeness was unmatched, but so was her fierceness.
“Only that I thought you and Logan were a forever sort of thing,” Ben answered. “I thought, of all the couples at our school, you two would make it. I mean, you’ve known each other forever. You two were perfect together. No offense, but Noah and you…” Ben trailed off, implying a hell of a lot in his unspoken words.
Georgie stood to her feet. “Noah and I what?” she practically shouted.
“Nothing,” Ben said, but then shook his head and he too stood up. “Fine, I’ll say it. Because Ellie probably won’t. Isn’t he a little too old for you? Do you guys have anything in common? Do Mom and Dad even know? Am I the only one who sees how insane this is?”
My heart was racing. How ignorant could Ben be? Noah was a good man. In fact, probably thebest man I knew. Maybe he was a little too shy around most people, maybe he was six years older than Georgie, maybe he was a lot of things—but he was perfect for my sister. And if Ben hadn’t left us when he did, he’d already know that too. Logan had turned out to be a crap boyfriend. Noah was a man in every way he wasn’t.
“No offense,” Noah said. How he was able to remain calm right now was beyond me. I was seething, but he hadn’t even broken a sweat. “But Ben, you lost your right to play the protective older brother card the day we put your casket into the ground. Your parents know. They’ve known for about five months now. Our relationship isn’t fleeting or insane. Let me tell you what is insane…you playing house out here in Malibu while the rest of the world continues on without you. Come on, Georgie, I want to go,” he finished, standing up now too and reaching for her hand. She let him take it. “We’ll be in the car whenever you’re ready, Ellie.”
I nodded and they started to leave the room. But Georgie turned around to say one more thing to Ben. “I’m really happy you’re alive. I hope you come home soon.” Then they disappeared out of the room.
“Shit,” Ben huffed, plopping down in his seat. “I feel like an ass.”
“You should!” I huffed. “They’re good together. I meanreally good together. He went off with her to college this year. Can you believe that? Noah…at college. He holds her hand and opens doors for her. They say sweet things to each other when they think no one is listening. The way they love each other—sometimes I get this gut-wrenching feeling way down deep inside. Most people never find that kind of love in life and it scares me to death that I’ll never find something like they have. Whenever you come home, you’ll see what I mean. It’s heartbreaking and it’s cute all at once.”
He gave me a half-smile. “I’m sure it’s adorable. But this is why you weren’t supposed to tell anyone I was alive. I’m not coming home. You all coming here to visit—it changes nothing. I’m never going back to Kill Devil Hills. You shouldn’t have brought the others. The clean break was better than this.”
My mouth dropped open, annoyance ripping through my body. “Then why even contact me? Why drop this all on me, and only me, if you never wanted anyone else to know?”
“Jesus, Ellie,” he groaned. “Because I thought you could handle knowing the truth. I don’t know. I guess I just needed one person to know I was alive. Of everyone, I thought it was you I could trust.”
Something inside me snapped—like the last straw that broke the camel’s back. “No,” I said softly and then repeated it louder. “No. I’m sorry butfuck that. And fuck you. I don’t know what happened to make you think that any of this is okay. It’s not okay. Georgina tried to commit suicide. The day of your funeral she was so upset that she slit her wrists and nearly died. If Noah hadn’t found her before it was too late, she’d be gone. Your actions don’t just effect you, they effect all of us. You need to man up and cut the bullshit, pull your head out of your ass and come home. Yeah, so life gets hard sometimes…boo-fucking-hoo…that doesn’t give you the right to do this to us. Now if you’ll excuse me, my family that is stillliving needs me outside right now. Bye, Ben. I hope you figure your shit out and come home.” I paused because I had one more thing he needed to know. “And whenever you do come home, I’ll be there. I’ll help you deal with whatever it is that’s been keeping you away from u
s so long. I promise.”
In an adrenaline fueled haze, I stepped outside Mrs. Stone’s house and into the cold night air. It had turned dark while we’d been inside and I felt disoriented. Too many miles separated me from North Carolina. Home sickness wasn’t something I’d ever experienced before and it hit me hard. With my hands trembling and my knees weak, I walked for the rental car. Inside Noah and Georgie were waiting on me.
“You guys okay?” I asked as I slipped inside.
“Not really,” Georgina admitted. Under the yellow light in the car, I saw that her eyes remained dry, but I could hear the emotion in her voice. “Sydney just called. She’s at the airport. She switched her ticket and is taking the redeye home tonight. She said she can’t face Ben.”
I thought back to the way Sydney had asked about Ben earlier today in the hotel lobby. And also Rhett’s reaction to the way she’d talked about Ben. They’d been in the same grade in high school—she, Georgie, and Ben. Only now did it dawn on me that Sydney must have known Ben also. Maybe they’d even been more than friends. Who knows? It wasn’t my business either way, but I felt like an insensitive jackhole for not considering her feelings on the matter before bringing her on this trip.
“And Rhett?” I asked. “Is he leaving with her?”
“No. He’s back at the hotel waiting to hear from Luce,” Noah answered. “We were thinking—what if we switch our tickets too? Head home earlier?”
I felt like I was stuck in quicksand and sinking fast into the earth. This trip was doomed from the start. “I’m sorry I dragged you all out here under false pretenses. I’m sorry this trip blows.”
“That’s okay.” Georgina rested her hand gently on my arm. “You meant well.”
Changing Tides (Kill Devil Hills Book 2) Page 8