That did me in. The flood gates opened and I started crying. My eyes burned and my throat closed up. “I told Rose. Shit, I told Rose. And Ben just told me how he never was coming home. What am I supposed to say to her? How do we explain this?”
“I want to kill your brother,” Noah mumbled. “And I get the irony in that statement.”
Georgina sighed. “We’ll tell Rose the truth—that’s all we can do and we hope for the best. Right? She’s strong, a hell of a lot stronger than me, she’ll be okay. We’re all going to be okay.”
I nodded, wiping my eyes with the palms of my hands, sucking up whatever courage I had left inside me. Because I was about to need it. “Maybe weshould head home early. How did Sydney sound? Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. I’m worried.”
“Then we should go. We can’t control Ben’s actions, only our own. Staying here and trying to force him to come home—that’s never going to work. Thanksgiving is in a few days and North Carolina is where we should be. There’s just one more thing I need to take care of before we leave. I need to tell Nathanial goodbye.”
CHAPTER 11:
NATHANIAL
The intercom to the front gate sounded. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I had a good idea as to who it might be. Rhett had given me Ellie’s number earlier. And I had every intention of calling her, later, knowing in the meantime she needed her space to take care of things with her brother. But twenty minutes was a rather speedy dinner. Something had to be wrong. My stomach churned wondering what might have happened. But in some twisted way I also liked that if something had happened, how she’d come straight over here.
“Yeah,” I said, clicking the button on the intercom.
“It’s Noah.”
“Okay. Drive up. You can park wherever and the front door is unlocked.”
Jumping up from the floor, I paused the TV and hurried for the kitchen. I had every intention of tidying up, but there really wasn’t much to put away. A few dishes and my laptop were the only evidence that someone lived here.Dammit, Kelly. Instead of spending the day at Disney, I probably should have spent the day at a furniture shop. But I had my priorities and they had nothing to do with furniture.
I’d just made it to the front door when there was a sharp knock. Checking through the glass, I saw it was Ellie standing on my porch. She was alone. I yanked open the door, my heart pounding much harder than it should have been. “Hi.”
Her eyes were bloodshot, evident that she’d been crying. “Can I come in for a moment?” she asked.
Without hesitation, I opened the door wider. “Yes, of course.”
A second later we were standing alone in the entryway of my house. The space was open. The entire first floor was basically one giant room—the living room, dining room, and kitchen—everything connected with one hell of a view of the Pacific Ocean behind us. Her eyes quickly surveyed her surroundings, taking everything in. “Nice place. Nice view. You just move in?”
“No.”
“Were you robbed then?”
“Not quite.”
She shoved her hands in her pockets, looking uncomfortable. From the moment I first met Ellie, we hadn’t shared any awkward moments, but it seemed she wanted to make up for it now. Something was wrong. “How did dinner go?” I asked, needing to know.
“It all happened so fast, it’s a bit of a blur.” She spoke quickly, her anxiety evident. “I kind of exploded at my brother—not that he didn’t deserve to hear everything I had to say. Anyway, we’re leaving. Maybe even tonight. We’ve got to get back to the hotel, call the airline, figure stuff out. Me and my stupid ideas—this trip was a mistake. But I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I needed to see you one last time.”
Her words sank in. And they were awful.One. Last. Time.
“I’m not really sure what happened earlier,” she kept going. She moved her hands from her pockets to cross them over her chest instead—tightly. “You might have already ended everything…I couldn’t tell. If so, then I’m sorry for the rehash.”
My mind was spinning. “I wasn’t ending anything, only giving you space to have dinner with your brother. Rhett gave me your number and I planned on calling you later.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
“Yeah, oh. So this is it?” I grunted. “Nice to meet you, thanks for the ‘almost-fuck’ on the airplane—that’s it?” Christ, I was breathing like she’d kicked me in the balls. Hell, it kind of felt like she had. My heart raced and my palms started to sweat.
“How else should it play out?” she yelled at me. The sadness that had been in her eyes a moment ago changed into fire—fierce and hot. “We’ve known each other one whole day. I don’t care how much chemistry we have. You live on one side of the country and I live on the other. This was never going to amount to anything more. Shit...” She stepped away from me, pulling her hair away from her face, glaring at me like I’d done something wrong just by being alive and in the same room as she was. Although I was partially-angry and partially-hurt by how dismissive she was being, I was suddenly, incredibly turned on.
The whole ‘this-is-the-last-time-I’m-ever-going-to-see-you’ thing had amplified everything.
An electric buzz crackled in the space between us. My emotions were all over the place. She had to feel it too. Because it was so powerful and incredibly hot, that it was the only thing I could focus on.
I wanted her.
She wanted me.
That much had been obvious from the moment we first met.So why were we wasting what little time we had left arguing instead of making sweet love on the floor below our feet?
There was really only one thing I had left to say to her at this point.
“Stay.”
Crooking her head to the side, she gave me a pointed look.
“The night,” I clarified and held my breath waiting on her answer. I wasn’t going to beg or plead, she could do whatever the hell she wanted, but I was man enough to say exactly what I wanted. And tonight what I wanted was her.
She huffed at my request. But it wasn’t a no. She rolled her eyes at me next. But it wasn’t a no. Then she took a step closer in my direction. That sure as fuck wasn’t a no.
“What is it going to be, Ellie?” I demanded, the suspense ripping me apart.
“Nothing is black and white,” she said and that was all she said. Then she disappeared out my front door.
What? Now that I had the chance, I adjusted my pants. Because my cock had grown so thick and hard in the last few moments that the pressure of it against my jeans was uncomfortable. My anger had mixed with adrenaline, desire, and need. The perfect cocktail of lust andwhen—not if—Ellie came back through my door it was going to take every ounce of self-control I had inside of me not to take her virginity the moment she crossed the threshold.Don’t you fucking dare take her virginity tonight, I told myself. She deserved better than that.
A minute passed. Then two. Then three. And then she was back, gently closing the door as her cute little ass slipped inside my house. Somehow I managed to keep my distance even as our eyes connected and her cheeks blushed pink. Maybe everything was written on my face, maybe she could tell exactly how much I wanted her—because she turned shy. I’d seen glimpses of this shyness before, but in full force it was overwhelming. It amazed me that I had the power to turn a girl like Ellie bashful. And my pounding heart and my raging hard-on sure as hell loved that power.
She started rambling, keeping close by the front door. “So…I told Noah and Georgie I was staying the night.Thatwas awkward. Shit, you know, like I was telling my parents or something. We weren’t going to get a flight out tonight anyway. It’s already late and Luce is still with her uncle. So I told them you and I were going to have an all-nightDragon Wars marathon. I don’t think they bought it. But that doesn’t matter. I figure this is a win-win. Because this way they get the hotel room to themselves, something I think they can use after the drama of tonight and Ben’s assholeness, and then I g
et you.” She breathed carefully in and out a few times. “Right? I get you.”
“You get me,” I repeated. So much for my resolve.
I took a step closer, wanting to kiss her but refraining. Her back was literally against the door. I don’t think I was doing anything consciously to frighten her, but I was making her nervous none-the-less. “Actually, I was in the middle of watchingDragon Wars. Is that lame? I watch my own show. You said you never miss an episode. Neither do I.”
She smiled.Finally. There was that beautiful smile of hers. “Not lame. I was actually bummed I was missing it.”
“It’s recording. I can start it over if you’d like.”
She stepped away from the door.Thank Christ! And I let out a breath of air I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding in.
“Awesome. Thanks, Nathanial,” she said as we moved deeper into my home.
Our eyes met and I knew she didn’t mean the show. That was when I realized how much control she had over me. If she wanted to fuck—yeah, I was down for that. If she wanted to hang-out and watchDragon Wars all night—yeah, I was down for that too. Whatever. It didn’t matter as long as she was here.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Actually, I’m starving. I didn’t get to eat anything over at Mrs. Stone’s.”
There was absolutely nothing in my fridge and even less in my pantry. A few cans of soup and some old pasta. Pathetic, really. “I’ll order something.” So I quickly called for some takeout sushi, which would take another half hour, then gripped Ellie’s hand as I led her into the other room. I was so on edge. It felt like every square inch of my skin was tingling with anticipation.
I didn’t have a couch in my living room. There was only the pile of pillows and blankets I’d thrown together prior to the show starting. Something I’d set up so I’d have somewhere to sit.
“Are you redecorating?” she asked, gesturing toward the lack of, well, everything.
“No. My ex cleared me out. When she moved in, she picked most of the big pieces out and when we broke up she wanted the things she’d chosen. Rather than the messy fight of dividing up the stuff, I let her have everything. Just was easier that way. But let’s not talk about her. It’s old news, I just haven’t been home to buy any furniture since then. Let’s watch the show.” I hoped she couldn’t hear the bitterness in my voice…because it was there. In the few months since our breakup, this was the most I’d spoken to anyone about Kelly. And it was better to keep it that way.
Lightly touching the small of her back, I led her toward the TV. “Sit with me.”
We sat down together. But immediately I hated the arrangement. She was way too far away and I wasn’t about to the watch the show the way friends would—practically on opposite sides of the room. Getting up, I moved to her. I sat down behind her with my legs straddling her hips. She froze as I did this and then continued to stay ridged as I started the show.
“Lay back,” I whispered. Wrapping my arms firmly around her waist, I tugged her closer against me. I was still hard. It was unavoidable and judging by her small gasp, she must have felt the length of me against her back. “Ignore him. He can’t be helped right now.” I wasn’t embarrassed. She was a sexy woman. How else was a person supposed to react?
After about thirty seconds of hesitation, she gave in and let her weight rest against me. God, it was nice—the way she settled in, wiggling and getting comfortable. My legs hugged her body close and I moved my arms so they were across her chest. She gripped my forearms and suddenly our nearness didn’t seem so nerve-racking for her.
The open credits ended and my show began.
As an actor, while shooting a scene, I’d always been able to take my insecurities, push them aside and justbe in the moment. That wasn’t something that came naturally to everyone and it was part of what made me great. I had the ability to put the rest of my life on pause, and let the honest emotion of my character come forth. Or at least, these were things I’d been told over and over that I was good at. But watching myself was never easy. Actually, at times it could be agonizing. I saw flaws in nearly every word I spoke. With age and maturity, I was becoming less critical of myself. Hell, my two Golden Globes Awards for Best Actor in TV Drama should have been proof enough that my self-criticism was unnecessary, but sometimes I still struggled to watch myself.
Watching the show with Ellie was different than watching it with anyone else. She was completely engrossed. I think I’d met a true super-fan. She hung on my every line. There was even one scene, a scene with Kelly actually, that I was particularly proud of. Ellie pinched my arm after it was finished. “You’re amazing,” she said through tears.I’d brought her to tears with my acting?
“Yeah?”
“Yes. Now shut up so I can see what happens next.” She went back to watching.
I realized that—aside from my mom, my brother, and my brother-in-law—no one in my life wasthis supportive. People told me I was great, an award on my shelf told me I was great, but seeing a fan in action was humbling and, frankly, incredible. And I don’t think she was carrying on simply because she was in the same room as the person on the screen. Ellie wasn’t fake like that. She genuinely loved my show and my character.
By the end of the hour, I wasn’t watching myself and nit-picking my flaws. I was watching Ellie. I wished I could watch every episode with her and her unmatched enthusiasm.
“I always hate when it ends,” she commented. “I hate waiting a whole week until the next episode. You’re fucking awesome, by the way. Watching the show with your arms wrapped tightly around me was the best.”
My arms were still wrapped tightly around her and I gave her a gentle squeeze. In the last hour, Ellie’s guard had completely dissolved. She was back to her regular self and suddenly I was the nervous one. Loosening one arm so I could grab the remote, I turned off the TV. There was a light on in the kitchen, but it was mostly moonlight filling the living room. I’d left a few windows open and the soft sound of the ocean provided a subtle soundtrack. Sitting on these blankets, cozied up together—I realized that I’d created one romantic as hell setting without even trying.
My mind was on the fact that she’d never been with a man.Had she never had a man hold her like this? Or slip his hands across her naked chest? Or touch her in all the places I now desperately wanted to touch her?My hands began to move across her stomach and then lightly over her chest. She sighed against me and moved her arms up, gripping the back of my neck. It was an open invitation to keep exploring. One I took. Tentatively, I started caressing her breasts above her shirt.
“That feels good, Nathanial,” she moaned, responding instantly to my touch.
Holy shit! Now that I’d started I couldn’t seem to stop. Her tits did crazy things to my insides. I hadn’t even seen them yet, but I could already tell that they were absolute perfection—just the right size in my hands, perky, and begging to be squeezed. Did women even appreciatethese things? I could feel her nipples pebbling against my touch. The effect had a direct link to my desperately growing cock. And I—
The intercom sounded.
“Who the fuck could that be?” I barked, instantly pissed at the interruption.
“It’s probably the sushi,” Ellie said. “Relax there.”
Oh. Duh. The sushi. It should have been delivered a half hour ago and I’d forgotten completely. I wasn’t even hungry anymore, but I stood up to answer the intercom. Once I’d given the delivery person instructions, I had to start mentally calming myself. I couldn’t answer the door with an erection. Curse words were pouring out of my mouth as I tried to picture something foul. But Ellie started laughing at me, which was sexy as hell, and I couldn’t focus on anything but her sexy smile.
“I can answer the door,” she suggested.
“No way. Not like that you’re not.” Her cheeks were flushed, her hair ruffled, and that smile on her lips—she looked like every teenager’s wet-dream and I wasn’t letting some pimply-faced delivery guy
get a glimpse of her all sexed up. Maybe I was being ridiculous, but I didn’t care.
As it turned out, the delivery guy wasn’t a guy. It was a woman. I paid her and she was gone so fast that I didn’t think she even had a moment to recognize me.
Ellie took the food from me and we sat down at the kitchen counter together. She didn’t hesitate to dig right in. I’d ordered enough for five people because I lived off leftovers, so we each had a wide variety to choose from.
“Where are you from, Ellie?” Only now did I realized how little I knew about her. Maybe there wasn’t much of a point asking these questions when she was going to be leaving tomorrow, but I found myself wanting to know anyway. “You said I lived on one side of the country and you on the other. Are you from Charlotte?” Our flight had left out of Charlotte, North Carolina—but plenty of flights connected through Charlotte. She could be from anywhere.
“No. Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina. It’s a beach town. It’s in the Outer Banks, close to Kitty Hawk.” She stopped eating to tell me more, the passion in her voice evident. “I love it there. You know, I spent most of high school wishing I could escape. Now that I’m older and things are different, I never want to leave. I could work at a fast food joint for the rest of my life and live in a trailer—but as long as I lived in my town with my friends and family, I’d be perfectly happy. That’s why I don’t understand Ben and his whole ‘fake-death’ thing. He had an easy childhood and was popular in high school—who knows what his deal is?”
Sometimes I wondered the same thing about myself. I had it good—the best job on the planet, a big house on the beach, a sweet-ass Bentley in my garage, a loving family, and, if I wanted, beautiful women who would do whatever I wantedwhenever I wanted. From the outside my life seemed pretty glamorous, but the truth was…I was lonely and sick of feeling that way. And if I was being completely honest with myself, even my relationship with Kelly wasn’t as great as I’d hyped it up to be in my mind. She hadn’t been the one for me.
Changing Tides (Kill Devil Hills Book 2) Page 9