by Casey Peeler
“It’s okay to break down, Dallas. What happened tonight is scary shit, and you two are more than welcome to stay here at the farm for as long as you need.”
Everything inside me tells me to take the offer, but my pride won’t let me. I can’t. This is their house and we need to learn to live on our own.
“Thanks, Beckett, but I’d really like to get back to our own little world if you know what I mean.”
“I understand that, but the offer stands. Promise me you’ll stay until everything is settled. I won’t have you going to a motel or shelter.”
His words strike a nerve, “Beckett, I’m very capable of taking care of Lettie and myself.”
“Oh, just like the fire tonight. Responsible.”
Gasping, I pull away from him and push the chair back as I stand to get the hell away from him.
“I don’t know what you think you know, but I had nothing to do with that,” I say a little too loudly as Colby walks in.
“Everything okay?” he questions.
“No, your bastard of a brother just said I caused the fire tonight.” He looks between the two of us and waits for an answer from Beckett.
He doesn’t say a word. Instead, he stands and walks out the door, letting it slam behind him and all of us jump.
“Dallas, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for him. He’s a dumb fuck with a short temper.”
“No shit. I’d never do anything to hurt Lettie.”
“I know that and Beckett does, too. Hell, if he doesn’t, the report will show it by morning. He’s always had a short fuse and when shit’s intense like this, he flies off the handle.”
“I think I’m going to go check on Lettie,” I say to him as I walk down the hall and find Dixie laying in the bed with her as she is sound asleep. Taking in this moment, I thank God for keeping her safe. I even thank him for Beckett, but I also thank him for friends like Dixie. It wasn’t that long ago that I had no one in this town and the moment she began working at Aunt Tootie’s salon, I knew I’d found my best friend.
Dixie slides off the bed and tip toes toward me. I leave the door open as we step into the hall.
“Girl, for real. How are you?” she questions.
“I was good until Beckett accused me of causing the fire.”
“He what?”
“Yeah, one moment I’m squalling into his t-shirt and the next he’s telling me it’s all my fault. He is one Drake I don’t get. No wonder he keeps to himself,” I say as I start to giggle because I’m exhausted. Dixie looks at me and doesn’t say a word. “What?”
“Beckett is different than the other brothers, but I can tell you one thing, he didn’t mean that. If anything, seeing you two in there messed with him as well. He takes his job seriously, and will stop at nothing to keep everyone safe. However, I’ve never seen him like he was tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“If there’s a call or something that goes down, he doesn’t come home and he sure as hell doesn’t offer his home to them. I have a feeling that Beckett Drake might be battling something he’s not ready to admit yet.”
“Dixie, you're not making any sense. I’m going to bed.”
She smiles and pulls me in for a hug. “Just know that once a Drake makes a decision, there’s no stopping them. Oh, and I gave Lettie a quick shower for you. Feel free to do the same and borrow anything of mine you might need. I can stop by the store and grab y’all both a few things tomorrow if you like and bring them home at lunch.”
“You’re a lifesaver. I know I should shower, but right now, I just want to hold her.”
Shaking my head, I can’t comprehend what she’s saying about Beckett and what he’s battling. All I want to do is hold my sweet girl. Walking into the room, I crawl into the bed with Lettie and try my best to fall asleep, but it’s no use. When I close my eyes, I feel the flames, smell the smoke and can’t breathe. Looking down at Lettie who is sleeping peacefully, I brush her hair from her face. She moves and cuddles into my shoulder and I realize how truly blessed I am to have her in my life. I’ll have to remember to thank Beckett again tomorrow after we both have time to sleep and process what actually happened.
Chapter 6
Beckett
The moment I slammed the door, I was cussing myself and praying I didn’t wake up Lettie. What the fuck is wrong with me? There is no way that fire was Dallas’s fault. If anything, it’s the dumb fucks who built the house back in 1960. Climbing in my truck, I slam my hand on the steering wheel, and then drive back to the station.
As I turn onto Main Street, I see the station up ahead but instead of pulling in, I drive to Dallas’s. Approaching it, there is yellow tape everywhere and the sound of embers are still sizzling. Ducking under, I walk toward the house and survey the scene. Everything in my gut says that this is electrical, and as I walk around I can see that the majority of the damage is done near Dallas’s room close to the living room. Without thinking twice, I cautiously walk inside with my flashlight and my mind begins to spin. The kitchen has the least amount of damage along with Lettie’s room, thank goodness. The thought of something happening to her hurts my heart. Children are innocent no matter what paths their parents choose. Damn, why did I say that to Dallas tonight? Walking into the living room, I notice a corner where there is more damage. Going to it, I survey the scene and see a wire exposed. There it is. One little fucking wire destroyed their home. It makes me sick to my stomach as I move to check out the rest of the house. Looking into Dallas’s room, everything is gone. It’s just a shell of what it used to be, but when I walk into Lettie’s room, I’m speechless that an entire corner hasn’t been touched.
Walking over, I see that there’s a picture of the two of them and a stuffed animal laying in the corner where I found her. Grabbing both items, I walk through the rest of the house and go to my truck.
Climbing into the driver's seat, I look at what’s left of the house and question what I do for a living. I took the job for the thrill of the flames, and to keep my ass out of trouble. Sometimes, I wonder if that’s enough. Glancing at the little penguin in my passenger seat, I know that it is. It’s my job to protect and from this moment on, I promise to protect those two precious girls. It doesn’t matter what it costs me.
As I finally make it back to the station, I find that Max and John are fast asleep. Going to my office, I finish the report. By the time I’m done, the sun is starting to rise and my shift is almost over. Going into the kitchen, I brew a pot of coffee and lean against the counter as Max walks in.
“Do you ever sleep?” he asks.
“Not after a night like that.”
“I’ve never seen anything like that and that poor little girl. How’d you know she was in there?” I look at him dumbfounded.
“Do you pay attention to anything in this town?”
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind. No. Shit, Max, you’ve got to pay attention to people in this town. Even if you don’t give a shit. I knew that was Dallas’s house and I also knew she has a daughter. This is a small fucking town. It’s our job to know shit like that and if you want to be a great firefighter, you’ll start paying more attention to this community and not that fucking game console.”
Max doesn’t say anything. Instead, he walks to the coffee, pours a cup and looks at me. “Point taken. Now, how long you been in love with her?”
“What the fuck did you say?”
“I said how long you been drooling over her?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, but you never leave after shit goes down. Not that anything big has happened too often. Not to mention the way you wouldn’t let either John or myself near them. You got it bad.”
Something about the way he says it pisses me off and I slam my coffee cup down on the counter. It shatters as Max’s eyes go wide.
“Look, I don’t mean any disrespect, but Drake, it’s about fucking time.”
“Max, I don’t know why you’re trying to act like a fucking match maker but there’s nothing there. They needed to be saved from that house and I did that. That is all. Now fuck off.”
Looking at the clock, I’ve got one hour until I’m out of here and I can’t wait to go home and crash. I’m exhausted.
Dallas
As the sun begins to shine, I know there is no use of me even trying to sleep. I quietly move from the bed and make my way to the kitchen. Looking through the cabinets, I find the coffee filters and coffee. Once it’s started, I look into the refrigerator. Spying the farm fresh eggs, I take them along with the livermush and begin to cook them on the stove when I hear the back door open.
Looking over my shoulder, I see Beckett. His large frame consumes the doorway as he removes his ball cap. Tossing his key and hat on the counter, his chocolate eyes meet mine. He doesn’t say a word because he doesn’t have to. His eyes tell me everything. They say I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it, but underneath all of that they scream power.
Taking a step toward me, my mind can’t think as I look at him. He’s different and unlike any other man I’ve ever seen. Last night he was like an angel, but today he looks like temptation.
“Do you have a minute?” he questions.
I look at the stove top, “Let me get this egg off real quick.” He nods, walks to the fridge, takes out a beer and walks out the door without another word. Once I remove the egg from the frying pan, I cut off the eye and check once more before I walk outside.
As I turn the door knob, I silently pray for a conversation better than last night. I don’t have it in my heart to hear harsh words or to fall apart. Stepping out back, I find Beckett sitting on the steps with a cold beer.
“You do know it’s like seven in the morning?” He half laughs as he takes another pull.
“It’s the end of the work day for me. Do you mind taking a seat with me?” he questions.
I don’t reply; instead, I sit.
“I went back last night.” He doesn’t say anything for another minute. I’m unsure if he means the house or work.
“And…”
He turns to face me. “It was electrical like I thought originally.”
I start to laugh hysterically. How in the hell is he acting like he knew this all along when he accused me of starting it? As I finally get my emotions in check, I look at him. “I do believe you said I started it last night.”
“Fuck. I know you didn’t do that, Dallas. You love that little girl in there too much to be that irresponsible.” Something inside my heart cracks open. He does care and isn’t the badass he portrays. “When I went back, I checked every room and thought that Lettie might need this.” Looking to his left, I don’t know how I didn’t see it when I walked out onto the back porch. Lettie’s penguin. Her partner in crime, so to speak. She doesn’t go to bed without it most nights, but when I see the photo, tears fill my eyes.
“Beckett, how?”
“Her room had the least amount of damage. This was in the corner where I found her. I guess she dropped it when I picked her up, and the photo caught my flashlight. Look, I’m sorry I was a dick. I just…”
I don’t know what the hell happens to me in this moment, but all I can think is having his lips on mine.
“Beckett,” I say as he looks my direction and I look up into those dark eyes. They never move from mine as I lean in to find his lips. As his lips meet mine, they resist, but I need more than what he’s offering. Moving closer to him, he finally gives in as his hand slides behind my neck and I get lost for the first time in forever.
Suddenly, he pulls back, stands, and walks inside. What the fuck just happened?
Chapter 7
Beckett
The moment her lips touched mine, I tried my best to pull away. She doesn’t need a man like me. Hell, no woman does. I’m a bastard's kid who got lucky with three brothers and two people that took us all in to save our lives. Dallas is good and I’m evil. She doesn’t need a man like me. She needs someone that doesn’t need saving.
As I walk through the house, Colby is walking from the bedroom toward the kitchen. I don’t look at him and when he tries to stop me, I shrug him off. Taking a quick moment to clear my head, I change and walk back outside to the barn for the best kind of therapy.
I have no fucking clue how long I’m outside, but as I go to collect the eggs from the chicken coop, I see Lettie running toward me with that penguin. I stop and wait for her to get to me, but she doesn’t stop as she approaches. Knowing she’s heading toward me, I drop the empty basket and open my arms as she jumps into them.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Beckett! You saved him just like you did me and mommy!” She wraps her arms around my neck and then kisses my cheek.
“You’re welcome,” I say as I place her back on the ground and see that Dallas is standing on the back porch with her hand over her mouth in shock. Looking down to Lettie and then to Dallas, I know that I was meant to be the one to go in that house, but in this moment, Lettie saved me in her own way. “Do you and Mr. Penguin want to help me collect eggs this morning?”
“Sure!” She turns toward Dallas, “Mama, I’m going with Beckett.” Dallas nods and we walk toward the chicken coop.
As we go inside, Lettie asks all kinds of questions and wonders why the eggs aren’t white like at the grocery store. I tell her that each one is different, just like people.
“So, is that why you’ve got a good tan and Colby doesn’t?” I begin to giggle at her innocence.
“Kinda. Colby, Jeremiah, and Everett are my brothers, but I have a different dad than them. That’s why I’ve got a good tan.”
“Gotcha. I like your tan. I wish I had one. Mommy makes me put sunscreen on all the time. It’s awful!”
“It’s better than getting burnt, I promise. Look, you want to grab that one?” I ask pointing to an egg.
“Sure!” she says and beams from ear to ear. Once we finish, we walk back toward the house to find Dallas at the kitchen table alone.
“Where’s Dixie and Colby?”
“They ate and ran. Both had to be at work this morning early. So they say. How was it?” she asks Lettie.
“Mommy, it was awesome. Did you know that all eggs are different? There’s one that’s white, that one looks like it’s green and that one has speckles! Isn’t that cool?”
“Yes, very cool,” Dallas says as she mouths thank you to me.
Walking to the counter, I leave the eggs and begin to fix my plate as Lettie jumps in front of me. “Beckett, can you fix mine?”
“Sure.” After I make her a livermush sandwich with an egg, I place it on the table and then do the same for myself.
Dallas doesn’t say anything as I take seat. Instead, she takes a long drink of coffee and focuses on Lettie.
Once she finishes, Lettie excuses herself to watch cartoons in the living room and Dallas begins to stand to do the dishes.
“I’ve got ‘em. It’s the least I can do.”
“No, you’ve been at work all night. I don’t mind. Plus, I need to do something around here to keep my mind off everything.
Without thinking, I slide my hand across to hers and hold it. “It’s okay to think about it, but know it’s not your fault. Y’all are both safe and that’s all that matters.”
She shakes her head as she pulls her hand from mine and starts to stand. “What do you care?” she says and it pisses me off in a good way. Standing to meet her, I invade her space.
“I care. Believe me, I fucking care more than I should.” Her eyes meet mine and I know I owe her this. I pull her close to me and kiss the hell out of her. Pulling away, she’s speechless. “Dallas, I’m a mess. I’ve got so much shit swimming around in my head of why you need to run like hell from me, but if you did, I’d chase after you.”
“What are you trying to say?”
Her eyes sparkle as she looks up to mine. “I’m saying that the moment you walked into Barger’
s, you caught my eye, but that day at Dixie’s shop something made me want to know you. Last night, when we got the call, all I could think about was making sure that the two of you were okay. I didn’t care what happened to me. If I had lost my life, it would have been okay because no one needs me like Lettie needs you.”
“Beckett, that’s not true. Look around. You’ve got a family that loves you.”
“Maybe so, but I’ve always been the one that pretended to have their shit together because I had to.”
“What do you mean?” she questions and I debate on what to tell her.
“The day our parents passed away, I had no choice. I had to grow up and be the responsible one when all I ever wanted to do was get the hell away from here.”
“Beckett, why?” she says as Lettie yells her name from the living room. She turns that direction and I move from in front of her, breaking the spell. Maybe she’ll forget this conversation. I don’t know why I even gave her a glimpse into the real me.
Dallas
The moment I move from him, I feel as if I’m lost. It’s an odd and eerie feeling. What bothers me most is the fact that Beckett wanted out and never got the opportunity. In a way, I understand. I went off to college, got pregnant my sophomore year, and married Lettie’s dad because it was the right thing to do.
To this day, I don’t regret it one bit, but it was life-altering. I planned on becoming a teacher, starting a family the right way, and living out in the country with my perfect little family. However, life had a different plan. Lettie’s dad signed over all rights one week before her first birthday, and I was left to take care of her myself. Thank goodness for my parents or I wouldn’t have survived. Who am I kidding? I would have, but it would have been harder than I could imagine.
Walking into the living room, I see that Lettie is sitting there watching TV. “Yes, sweet girl?”
“Can you bring me some juice?”
“Sure, but I better make sure that’s allowed here.”