by Casey Peeler
“It’s fine,” I hear him say behind me. “I’ll go and get it.” Before I can dispute it, he’s there and back. “Thanks.”
He excuses himself to his room and I take moment to sit with Lettie. I want to make sure she’s okay because last night was something neither of us will forget.
“You okay?”
“I’m okay, Mama. I mean, I miss my toys, but I have Mr. Penguin and that’s enough.” Smiling, I pull her into my arms and hold her for a few moments.
“I’m going to go get a shower and I’ll be right back. Okay?” Then it hits me. I have nothing. What am I going to do? I know Dixie is taking care of getting us a few things and mentioned I can borrow her clothes. I wonder where they are?
As the bathroom door opens, I see Beckett walk into the hall wearing nothing but a towel. He looks my direction and smiles.
“Um, Beckett, do you think you can help me find something to wear? Dixie said I could borrow something, but I have no idea where to look.
“Sure, she’s got some stuff in Colby’s room.”
Beckett disappears into his room and then appears in a pair of athletic shorts. “Come on. We’ll find something.”
“I don’t want to go and snoop.”
“Shit. It doesn’t matter. She gave you permission.” Why am I overreacting? I shake it off and follow him in there. He goes through a few drawers and quickly finds a pair of jeans and a shirt before handing them to me. Guess I’m going commando. He walks with me to the bathroom, opens the cabinet, and gives me a towel and wash cloth before excusing himself without a word.
Taking a moment by myself, I look in the mirror and realize I look like death and pray that a shower can help. Seeing my reflection, I can no longer remain strong. Instead, tears begin to fall and I fall apart. When I’ve finished my pity party, I turn on the water and step in. As the water trickles down my body, I pray that the memories of last night vanish and the first step is getting rid of those smoke-filled clothes.
Once I’m like a prune, I turn off the water and quickly dress. Drying my hair with a towel, I run my fingers through my short hair to semi-style it before quickly go to check on Lettie. As I round the corner into the living room, I’m speechless when I find her and Beckett sitting in the middle of the floor playing Go Fish. Lettie is giggling and Beckett has a grin on his face. Taking a moment, I soak up the innocence in this room. Beckett Drake isn’t as bad ass as he likes to think and he’s sure as hell not a bastard. Right now, he just stole another fucking piece of my heart without meaning to.
Chapter 8
Beckett
“Can I play, too?” I hear over my shoulder and I turn to see her standing in the door way. Fuck. If I thought she was pretty before, there’s something about her standing there with not one ounce of makeup and her hair fresh from the shower.
“Of course, Mommy, but we’ve got to finish this round,” Lettie says, sliding over and giving her room to take a seat.
“Okay, well, while you finish up I’m going to start some laundry if that’s okay, Beckett?”
“Sure. Everything you need is in the laundry room. Let me know if you need anything.”
“It’s laundry. I believe I can handle it.” Turning, I walk through to the room we slept in and pull the sheets and walk through kitchen to the room off the back of the house. Turning on the water, I pour the detergent and place them inside.
Closing the lid, it’s like I’m taken back to last night and my lungs begin to expand quickly as visions of flames fill my mind. I have no clue how long I’ve stood there when I feel a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump out of my skin.
“Dallas, it’s okay,” his voice says and I instantly feel calm. Looking toward him, I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be the confident person I’ve always been. Instead of moving toward me, he takes a step backward, “We’re ready when you are.”
Nodding, I turn and walk toward the living room. Lettie is smiling from ear to ear when I take a seat. She passes me the cards and tells me to shuffle them and for Beckett to deal. Within a few moments, we are all laughing and have a great time, and when the game ends, Beckett’s the one with cards and of course, Lettie has the most sets.
As Lettie begs us to play again, the door opens and Dixie comes in with bags of clothing. Jumping up, I go to help her.
“Girl, I didn’t mean go on a shopping spree. I meant to just grab a few items until I can go to the store.”
“Eh. I started and couldn’t quit. They have the cutest stuff for Lettie, and I got you a few things as well.”
“Well, I’m glad. If not, we’d have to keep sharing a wardrobe.” She begins to laugh and I do as well. For the first time since last night, I feel happy.
“Come on, I’ll show you,” she says as she walks into the living room and pours it onto the couch. Beckett looks up and his mouth falls open.
“I’m going to go check on the laundry.”
Dallas
We both giggle as he makes it out of the room. I’m sure he’s on estrogen overload. Lettie stands and comes to see what Dixie has and of course, she’s done an amazing job. “Mommy, can I wear this today?” she says, holding up a pair of pink shorts with a matching top.
“Sure.” She hurries to the room to change and I begin to fold everything to take to the guest room. Dixie pauses and looks at me. “What?”
“Girl, don’t what me. I just witnessed the cutest family moment ever.”
“Right,” I say with an eye roll.
“Seriously, Dallas, I’ve never seen him like that.”
“It was nothing. Lettie really seems to like him. He took her to the chicken coop, but the fact he went back to the house last night and found Mr. Penguin and one photo of the two of us, Dixie, that man in there isn’t what people think he is.”
She smiles. “I could have told you that. He’s a Drake and wants everyone to believe he’s a bad ass, but deep down they are all good ole country boys. I was thinking, do you want me to take you to get your car today?”
“That would be awesome. I hate having to depend on someone else.”
“I’ll take you,” I hear the deep voice behind me.
I look over at Beckett, “Thanks, but you’ve done enough.”
He places his hands in his pockets as he looks to me, “Dallas, you don’t have the keys. They are in the house, and you can’t go in there. I won’t allow it.” Something in me snaps as he tries to tell me what I can and cannot do.
“Um, I can do whatever the hell I please,” I say, looking him dead in the eyes.
He doesn’t break my gaze, “Shit. I meant I can’t let you go in there, it’s not safe. I can take you, but you’re not going there with Dixie.”
“Oh.” Unsure of what to say next, Dixie beats me to it.
“I’ll keep Lettie and y’all can go. He’s right, Dallas. I didn’t even think about the keys.”
“Me, either.”
As Lettie appears back in the living room, Dixie asks her if she wants to go back to the salon for a little while and of course, she jumps at the chance. She tells her to grab her shoes and if they hurry, she’ll take her to get a cone of ice cream for lunch. Shaking my head, I give her a hug and kiss the top of her head as I watch my little girl walk out the door with a huge smile on her face.
Taking the remaining clothes back to the guest room, I take a moment for myself. Sitting on the bed, I let my face fall in my hands and catch the tears. When there is a slight knock on the door, I quickly dry my face and see Beckett standing there. He walks over and takes a seat. He doesn’t say a word; instead, he takes my hand in his and sits quietly. The silence speaks volumes. Looking to him, he’s staring at the floor and when I say his name, he looks to me with what I swear is a single tear in his eye.
“Beckett, are you okay?”
“Of course. You ready?” he says as he stands and I follow him out of the house and to the truck. Walking to the passenger side, he follows me and opens the door before walking to the dri
ver’s side.
Driving toward the house, my heart rate increases and I do my best not to focus on it, but as we pull onto the street, my nerves begin to get the best of me.
“Dallas, are you sure you want to do this right now?” he questions.
“Yeah. I need to.”
As we close in on my home address, my eyes have to be seeing things. There is nothing here except a shell of a house. My hand goes to my mouth and I can’t breathe. He takes his hand and places it on my leg.
“Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.” Tears well in my eyes as I see that there is no hope of saving this home and I’m sure everything inside is gone.
Chapter 9
Beckett
The moment the remnants of the house come into view, she falls apart. I knew what we were going to, but I’m sure she thought it wouldn’t be this bad. Last night, the fire lit up the sky and the darkness covered up the damage. With the bright sunshine in the sky, there’s nothing to hide.
Putting the truck in park, I wait for her. When she doesn’t say a word, I give her a few more minutes and as I’m about to tell her we can do this later, she opens the truck door.
Following suit, I walk around to the front of the truck to meet her. I don’t say anything but follow her as she walks to what used to be the front door. As she takes a step, it breaks and a sob escapes her lips.
“Dallas, we’ve got to be careful. This structure isn’t safe. Where would we find your keys?” I ask, knowing there’s no way in hell that we’ll find them, but I keep that secret for myself.
“In the kitchen. In my purse.”
“Okay,” I say, taking her by the hand and guiding her to what used to be her kitchen. Looking around, I take in my surroundings and know that we need to do this as quickly as possible.
“It was on the counter by the coffee pot over there,” she points as I lead her over there. The counter is no longer there, but a pile of ash in the floor. “It was right here. I know it.” Denial is beginning to set in and I know that it’s no use. Looking around, I try to find what could have been a purse and see a small piece of leather under the burnt counter top. Letting go of her hand, I move it and pull it out, but as I do there is nothing left and it crumbles as I hold it in my hands.
Moving things around, I find a set of keys and turn to her. “That’s them.” She locks her arms around my waist and holds me tightly. When she does, everything in my being begins to break, but that’s when I hear the rumble. We’ve got to get out.
Without thinking, I grab her in my arms and run toward the entrance as the wall to my right begins to fall forward. She doesn’t say as word and her face shows confusion as we make it out of the house in the nick of time. Placing her on the ground, we turn to see the house collapse. She gasps and then holds onto me for dear life.
Looking into her eyes, the fear turns into something else. Something I don’t recognize. Taking her in my arms, I hold her tightly and in this moment, I never want to let her go.
I’m not sure how long we stand there, but I wait for her to move. This is the moment she has to decide to walk away from her home. As she takes a step back, her eyes look up to mine.
“I guess I should see if these will even work,” she says, looking down at the keys she’s grasped tightly in her hand. I hate to tell her there is no way. The plastic that held the emblem is melted and warped along with what goes in the ignition.
Following her, she walks to her car, and I’m glad she didn’t have a garage or it would have been a goner. Opening the door, she pauses and as soon as I see the inside of the car, I know that she's lost another part of her life.
Taking a step toward her, she takes a step back.
Dallas
The moment that I see the inside of my car, anger floods my body. How is it that one little wire could destroy so much? My car was parked close but not in a garage. The inside is completely warped from the heat. Slamming the door, I scream at the top of my lungs and don’t give two shits who hears me. When I can no longer scream, I walk over to my car and begin to hit the side of it with my feet. Why? Why did I have to lose everything I’d worked so hard for in this life? When I don’t have the energy to keep fighting, I start to slide down toward the ground when his arms wrap around me. Never letting me go, he pulls me away from my car and to his truck. He doesn’t say a word. Instead, his strong arms hold me upright when I can’t do it on my own.
He props himself against the hood of his truck as he holds me tightly and lets me cry for everything I’ve lost.
When the tears have stopped and I have no desire to look at what’s behind me, he looks down at me and kisses the top of my head before holding me a little longer.
Chapter 10
Beckett
The moment that she calms her breathing, I hold her longer. For the first time since I was a teenager, I feel what it’s like to want to hold on to something or someone. Without a word, I guide her to the front seat of the truck, help her in, and we back out of the driveway. I don’t go to get Lettie at Dixie’s salon or go home. Dallas needs time to process what’s going on and I know exactly where to take her.
Pulling down the long gravel road, she turns to me.
“I promise I’m not taking you to the middle of nowhere to chop you into pieces." She begins to laugh and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. “I’m taking you where I go to think things through.”
Pulling into the woods, the small shack comes into view. I don’t say anything. Instead, I park the truck and wait for her.
“I didn’t think losing all of those possession would hurt so badly. I know they can be replaced, but I worked my ass off to get where we are today. Is it wrong to feel that way?”
Shaking my head no, I look at her. “When things happen in our lives, we all deal with them differently. It’s okay to be madder than fuck. Hell, I know that’s how I was when my parents passed away, but loss will do something to you. It will put a wall around your heart. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, but sometimes, you need to have a moment to process the bad so you can see the good.”
Sitting there, she places her hand on the door handle and opens it. She gets out of the truck and I debate on whether to give her a few moments or invade her space. I give her a moment, but when she walks toward the rickety house, I follow her.
Dallas
Walking toward the worn house, I know that there is something more to this place. It tells a story. Taking a step onto the porch, I feel Beckett close behind me. Looking to the left side, I notice a front porch swing that looks like it’s been taken care of while the remainder of the house is in shambles. “You think it’s safe?”
“I know it is,” and something tells me this place holds all of his secrets.
Taking a seat, Beckett sits beside me and places his hands on his knees as I push us cautiously.
“Beckett, why did you bring me here?”
“It’s where I’ll always feel the most at home.” Turning to him, I see his chocolate eyes glisten and I realize that this is his childhood home.
Taking my hand, I cover it with his and he looks to me. “Tell me. Tell me about this life.”
He doesn’t say a word, but instead he stands with my hand in his. Walking toward the front door, he opens it and takes a step inside. The house is four rooms, much like the one I just lost. As he steps toward the back bedroom, he explains, “This was our room. We all shared it and hid out here when their dad was drunk as fuck.” I take in the room and see that one large bed is in the room that has almost rotted to nothing. Turning, he walks out and steps across to the other room. “This is where my mom would let any man fuck her any way they wanted.” The way he says it without emotion breaks my heart. “In this bathroom, their dad would hide his drugs and I caught Everett messing with a heroine needle when I was five years old." We continue to walk throughout the house, and he tells me about every room. It’s heart breaking. As we enter the kitchen, “This is where my mom would cook, but
forget about it because she was too drunk to care.”
Walking back out of the house, he takes a seat on the swing and I sit with him quietly. “This is where my dad would sit with my mom and tell us stories. It’s the one memory I have of him.”
“Your dad?” I question.
He lets out a short nervous laugh. “Yeah, my dad is different than my brothers.”
“I kinda figured that,” I say, nudging him and he lets out a small smile.
“I don’t really remember much about him. Hell, he was killed when I was four.” My mind starts to do the math. “Yeah, you’re correct. My mom was probably fucking Everett’s dad behind his back. He was a good man, or at least that’s what I remember. He got killed an accident.”
Everything inside my heart breaks for him. He’s the one that had already lost someone then had to live in hell before the Drakes rescued him.
“Beckett…” I start to say.
“Please don’t tell me you're sorry. It’s life. This place holds so much bad, but right here, this holds the good. You’ve got to hold onto the good of what happened. It’s hard as fuck, but keep what means the most to you as close to your heart as possible.”
“Do your bothers know about everything?”
“No. This is my secret to keep.”
Looking to him, I ask, “Then why did you choose to share it with me?”
“Because, Dallas, the moment I saw you, a small piece of ice that surrounded my heart started to melt. Hell, I didn’t know what it was, but last night when I heard the address, I knew that I had to save you because you had already started to save me from my past without even knowing it.”
As my eyes stare into his, he’s bared his soul to me, and as much as I want to be on my own, I can’t. I want to do anything in my power to take away all the bad he feels in his heart.
Chapter 11
Beckett
The moment her eyes find mine, I see into her soul. Learning forward, I find her lips and make them mine. As I slide my hand to the base of her neck, she falls into me and in one swift motion, I pull her to my lap.