by Dee Ernst
“And I kissed him.”
Jake took a deep breath. He was still nodding. He was still looking at me. “I see.”
“I’m a little confused right now, Jake. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with me.”
“Kate, listen to me, okay?”
“I’m listening.”
“I never stopped loving you. More than that, I never stopped being in love with you. It took me about ten minutes with you for everything to come rushing back. But I know that it’s been a long time, and that we’re different people now. I never expected you to feel the same way.” He made a face. “Hoped, maybe, but didn’t really expect. You don’t owe me anything.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Jake, because I do. At least, I think I do. But whatever is going on has nothing to do with that.” I swallowed hard again, and tried to figure out where the tears were coming from. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” he said gently. He reached over and pulled a few tissues out of nowhere to give to me.
“Why is it that you’re always handing me tissues?”
“I don’t know, because I really never mean to make you cry.”
“I know.” I sat and sniffed for a few minutes. “Listen, why don’t you come over this weekend.”
“I’d love to. I’d like to see your mother again, actually.”
“How odd. And you could meet Sam, although he may be going somewhere for the weekend, now that I think about it. It’s Labor Day. Wow, the summer is over already. I feel like I should be buying school supplies.”
“We could do that Saturday. Pencils and crayons?”
I smiled. The crisis was over, just like that. We were back into a happy, familiar rhythm. “Pink backpacks. I’m sorry you never had kids.”
“Sometimes I am, too. We could go back up to the lake.”
“Could we? I loved that house. And the boat. That would be perfect.”
“He’s selling it. Rather than split it in the divorce, they’re splitting the profit.”
“What a shame. Does that mean you won’t be able to go up there anymore?”
“That means if you like it, I could buy it.”
“Just like that? You’d buy a million-dollar house?”
“I’d wait until the White Plains house is sold.”
“Are you trying to bribe me?”
He laughed. “Hey, if that’s what it takes.”
“Must be nice being that rich.”
“It’s great. Is that a plan, then?”
“Yes.” I leaned over and kissed him gently. “I need time, Jake. Please give me time.”
“As much as you need.”
“I’ll call you.”
When I got home I walked over to Marie’s to pick up Mom. Marie let me in, and I was surprised to find something of a crowd. I recognized a few of the card-playing crew, but also some younger, unfamiliar faces. They were standing around Marie’s dining room table, and all looked up and waved as I came in.
“We’re organizing the Saturday potluck,” Marie explained. “We get a very good turnout if the weather’s nice. Were you planning on stopping by?”
I’d seen the flyer at the pool. I shook my head. “No, thanks, Marie. I’ve made plans.”
She nodded. “That’s fine. But Rose wants to go. In fact, she says she’s very good at planning this sort of thing. And she wants to make deviled eggs.”
My mother had been an outstanding cook, and I remembered her deviled eggs. They were delicious, the yolks fluffy and smooth, with a hint of sweetness.
Mom looked up. “I’ll need at least four dozen eggs. Can you get them for me?”
“Sure, Mom. Ready to go?”
She shook her head. “No, not yet. I’ll be home a little later.”
“By yourself?”
A redhead in cutoffs looked up. “Don’t worry. One of us will walk with her.”
Well, all righty then. Apparently, my mother was acquiring minions.
I went home, took a shower, poured myself some wine, and started looking around for something for dinner. Sam came down and said hi, pulled a Coke from the fridge, and sat expectantly at the breakfast bar.
“Can I help you?” I asked him.
“Do you know you’ve got half a dozen marijuana plants growing on the deck?”
“Sam, of course I know. I just keep forgetting they’re there. They blend in pretty well with the cherry tomato plants. Are they getting too big, do you think?”
“Mom, why are you growing pot? Does Gram have glaucoma or something?”
“No, Gram does not have glaucoma. It’s because Cheryl had the seeds, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. You going to be around this weekend?”
“Tim has friends who are doing a thing on Long Island on Saturday, so I was going to stay at his place Friday night and go with him, and then I figured I’d go to Aunt Laura’s Sunday.” My sister always had a huge cookout the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. “Is that okay? Will that work with Gram?” he asked.
“Your grandmother is making her own plans these days, and she’s already booked for Saturday. I was going to ask Jake to Laura’s. Are you okay with that?”
“If I weren’t, would it matter? Besides, Alisa told me this guy might turn out to be the one who sticks.”
“She’s a smart girl. She may be right. I miss her.”
“Me too. Skype is fine, but it’s not quite the same as curling up on the couch and going over the day, you know?”
“Yes. I do know.”
Somebody called hello from downstairs, so I hurried down. Mom was in her recliner. The redhead was there, looking concerned.
“Hi, Kate. She’s out of breath, she says. Doesn’t she have oxygen?”
I shook my head. “She’s been very resistant to that idea.”
The redhead frowned. “I’m Lauren Mitchell. I’m a nurse. She really should have oxygen.”
I raised my voice. “Hear that, Mom? Lauren says you need oxygen.”
My mother waved a hand. “I’ll catch my breath in a minute. I always do. Why should I pay for oxygen to sit here month after month if I might never use it?”
“Rose, you could use it every day. Even just moving around down here would be so much easier for you,” Lauren said.
My mother had found the remote and turned on the TV. Loudly.
Lauren sighed. “I work with lots of older people. They hate admitting they need the help.”
“Yeah.”
“It was good meeting you, Kate. Your mom is a real character.”
“Good meeting you, too. Thanks for walking her home.”
I let Lauren out and went over to Mom.
“Burgers on the grill okay for dinner?”
She nodded. The news was on.
“What else do you need for your eggs?”
She hit the mute button. “Sweet gherkins. Lots of mayo and Dijon mustard. I’ll make a little list tomorrow. And I’m also going to help Marie with her meatballs, so it looks like I’ll be sleeping over there Friday night.”
“Sleeping over?”
“Yes. It would just be easier than getting up early and going over. You know I’m a little slower in the mornings. And if you want, you can ask one of your boyfriends to stay over.”
I maintained a straight face. “Thanks, Mom, but nobody’s staying over.”
She glared at me. “Are you ever going to reintroduce me to Jake?”
“I’m bringing him to Laura’s. He’ll meet the whole family.”
“What about that other man, Edward? After all, he’s going to be part of the family pretty soon, no matter what happens between you two.”
“I’m not seeing Edward this weekend. He’s going up to Canada to see some friends. It’s just Jake.”
“Jake was pretty good-looking when he was young.”
“He still is, Mom.”
“Well, that’s good. ’Cause you’re a beautiful woman, Kate. I know that you didn’t think you were
pretty enough for him. And back then, maybe you weren’t. But you’ve gotten better-looking with age. Some women do. Your face suits you now. It’s the face you’ve always deserved.”
I was shocked. “Thanks, Mom,” I managed.
“Too bad you’re so flat chested. You get that from your father’s side of the family. His mother looked like a diving board. If you’d been lucky, you’d have taken after me more. If you had a body like mine at your age, you’d have more than just two men knocking on your door.”
“Right. I’ll bring down the burgers in a bit.”
“Well-done. I don’t eat pink meat.”
“I know, Mom.”
Jake came over early Saturday morning, and we drove back up to New York and enjoyed another day on the lake. We spent a long time walking through the log cabin. It was beautiful.
“It’s not quite a cabin in Colorado,” Jake said, “but it’s already built, and it would be an easier commute. I’d keep the town house, of course, but this is perfect for the weekends.”
“Yes.” In my head, I was redecorating. The great room needed brightening up, the master bath was a gut job, and all the antler chandeliers had to go. He was behind me, and he came close, wrapped his arms around me, and brought his head over my shoulder. We stood there for a few minutes. I could feel the pounding of his heart against my back, and the heat of him came through my clothes. His breath was warm against my neck, and he kissed my ear. Thirty years ago, I would have turned to him and drawn him down onto the leather couch, peeling his clothes off slowly before easing myself onto him.
But my head wasn’t ready for that yet, as much as my body might have been. I wasn’t going to make love to Jake, not with Edward crowding in so close in my head. Besides, this was someone else’s house, and leather was cold, uncomfortable, and would have made funny noises against bare skin.
“If you buy this house, we need to get rid of all the leather furniture,” I said.
“Why?”
“I hope I can tell you someday.”
The house was empty when we got home. The potluck was still going strong. I felt a little guilty sending Jake home, knowing he’d be driving back the next morning, but he was sweet and good-natured about the whole thing.
I’d given Mom the remote control for the garage so she could get in and out by herself. I also figured it would be an early warning system, letting me know when she got back. I did not hear the garage open until late, almost eleven. I had been reading in bed, but got up when I heard it and went downstairs.
“Hey, Mom, this is pretty late for you. You must have had a good time.”
She looked tired, and her breath was short. She was in the recliner. She nodded and held up a finger. “Wait.”
I sat, and when she caught her breath, she actually smiled. “It’s nice to be around people again. When I first moved down to Cape May, I knew everybody. But all my friends died off or went to nursing homes. The new people didn’t want to be bothered with a crabby old lady, so most of them left me alone. But the folks here are pretty nice.”
“Mom, I think you’ve probably got more friends here than I do. I know Marie, and a few people from walking the dog and hanging out at the pool, but I would never be asked to help plan a potluck.”
“You’d never want to. You were never that kind of woman. You’ve got sunburn on your cheeks.”
“I know.”
“Got sunburn on your other cheeks?”
“No, Mom. Outdoor sex is not on the agenda at my age.”
“He’s coming to Laura’s?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’ll see him then.”
“Okay. Good night, Mom.”
Jake was there so early the next morning that he brought down my mother’s tray. I sat at the breakfast bar and waited, my eyes closed, hoping for the best. When he came back up, he was grinning.
“What?”
“She wants me to drive her to the cookout. She says she’s never been in a Mercedes before. And she wants the top down.”
“Do you mind?”
“No. I was going to take my car anyway. I have to head straight back to the city this afternoon. There’s a lot going on next week.”
The front door crashed open and Boone got all excited. Sam was home. He came into the kitchen with his usual bounce, grinning.
“Great car,” he said to Jake, holding out his hand. “I’m Sam.”
Jake shook his hand. “Thanks. Jake Windom.”
Sam nodded and turned to me. “What time?”
“We’ll leave here around noon. I still have potato salad and brownies to make.”
“Cool. Need help?”
“Oh, how sweet.” I looked at Jake.
“I could use an hour or two at my computer,” he said. “If it’s okay.”
“Jake, you were always a major distraction in the kitchen. Sam here can at least boil potatoes and knows how to cut things.”
Jake gave me a quick kiss and went off into the den. Sam brought his duffel bag upstairs, and when he came back down, we boiled potatoes, chopped celery and hard-boiled eggs, and baked two batches of brownies from scratch. He talked nonstop. He’d had a great time in Long Island, and mentioned someone named Vin six times before I realized Vin was Vincenza, a young woman who had apparently made a big impression on my son.
“Who is she again?”
“Tim’s sister’s roommate. She’s down on Wall Street. Usually I find those businesspeople pretty boring, but she was pretty cool. Big online gamer, you know?”
“No. I haven’t a clue. Your grandmother wants to go over with Jake, so it will just be you and me. Got your swimsuit?”
“Yep. Jake seems nice.”
“You didn’t even talk to him.”
“Yeah, but what a great car.”
“And that makes him nice?”
Sam shrugged. “I’ll put this stuff in the car.”
Jake followed me to Laura’s. My sister lived in an old farmhouse with an in-ground pool and a yard big enough for the boys to play regulation soccer, which they did pretty much every day. Luckily, the weather was perfect: hot, but no humidity, and a breeze. That meant Mom could sit out on the screened porch and not have to huddle in the air-conditioned house.
Jake helped her around to the back of the house. I looked for any visible signs of harassment, but he was all smiles. So was she.
“What did you talk about?” I asked.
“Alfred Hitchcock.”
“What?”
“She’s a fan. So am I.”
“That’s it?”
He shrugged. “What were you expecting?”
Anything but Alfred Hitchcock.
Laura had been told she could walk on her ankle again, and had been to physical therapy a few times, so she was getting around pretty well. She gave Jake a big hug and introduced him to everyone. Jeff and Gabe were already there; so was Bobby’s sister and her husband and three boys. Devon had his arm draped around a pretty little girl named Brianne who looked twelve years old. Wade was in the pool with his cousins. Sam changed into his suit and joined them. I went into the house to help Laura, leaving Jake talking wine versus beer with Bobby and Gabe.
Jeff followed me into the kitchen. “Jake spend the night?” he asked.
“No.”
“Why not?” He looked indignant.
“Really, Jeff? Sam went crazy because I was having sex, and you’re acting bent out of shape because I’m not.” I cleared my throat. “It’s getting complicated.”
“How is it getting complicated? I thought this guy was the one, with a capital O.”
“I’ve been spending some time with somebody else.”
Laura looked up. “What? Wait a minute. A few weeks ago you told me you and Jake were starting all over. Where did another man come from?”
“England. Phil’s dad.”
“Awkward,” Jeff muttered.
“No, it’s not. Each of them knows about the other, and let’s face it, I’m not
sixteen. I’m not going ‘steady.’ I’m a grown woman who’s examining all her options.”
“You make it sound perfectly civilized,” Jeff said.
“It is. We’re all grown-ups here.” I looked around. “It’s fine.”
Laura was pouring homemade marinade over chicken. “Kate, I hope it all works out for you; I really do.”
“Me too,” said Jeff. “But I’m rooting for Jake. Nothing against Edward—Regan says he’s a perfectly nice man—but if we’re looking to add value to the family, Jake is a better bet. He doesn’t have any kids of his own, does he? He really needs a family to leave all that money to.”
“Jeff, don’t be crude,” I scolded.
Regan came in and gave me a kiss. “Jeff is always crude. Who was he talking about this time?”
“Jake,” I said. “He’s out back.”
Regan looked out the window. “The tall guy? And Gram’s here? How did that go over?”
“They bonded over Alfred Hitchcock,” I told her. “Who knew?”
“Mom, didn’t you go out with Edward a few times?”
“Yes, I did. But we didn’t sign any vows of undying loyalty, so I’m still seeing Jake as well.”
“You go, Mom. You’re really taking this whole dating thing to heart, aren’t you?” Regan said.
“Don’t be fresh. Listen, did you order a cake?”
“From Swiss Chalet in Morristown.”
“And what about music for the church?”
Regan gave me a look. “Mom. It’s covered. We have only one possible disaster looming.”
“What?”
Phil answered. “My mother is coming into town two weeks before the wedding. She’s staying at the Westin. The Governor Morris.”
“That’s where Edward is staying,” I said.
Laura finished chewing a bit of melon from Regan’s salad. “That’s bad?”
Regan rolled her eyes as Phil nodded. “Very,” he said. “You don’t know my mother very well, but she can be a total raving bitch. And she hasn’t spoken to my father in twenty years.”
Jeff sighed happily. “I so love a little drama at weddings.”
Regan stuck her tongue out at him. “Well, if this gets too dramatic, Phil and I will just cancel.”
“No, you will not,” I said sternly.