Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2)

by Andrea Randall

  “It wasn’t you. It was Monica. She’s engaged and suddenly becomes an expert on relationships. I’ve got a killer rest of the week ahead in Concord, so I’ve gotta get going. I’ll be back Saturday, OK?”

  His shoulders relax to their normal position and he smiles in relief. “OK. Hey, I’ve been texting Rae.” His smile changes to one of endearment. “We want to hit up Coldplay’s concert on Thursday in New Hampshire. You want in?”

  “Hell yes! I’ve wanted to see them forever! And, any excuse to hang out with Rae is OK by me. Thanks Reagan, see you Thursday.” I forget my anger at Monica for the moment as Regan and I say goodbye and I get in the car.

  “You’re in a better mood.” Adrian’s voice is tight as I start the engine.

  “Regan has the hots for Rae,” I giggle. “They’re going to a Coldplay concert on Thursday, and he asked if I wanted to go. I’m psyched!”

  “Who else is going?” His tone borders on accusatory, but I ignore it and shrug.

  “I didn’t even think to ask.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Monica and I have made up by Thursday. She apologized for getting in my face in front of everyone, though she didn’t apologize for what she said. A silent understanding has partitioned us at the moment. She disagrees about Adrian, how I handled Bo, and how I’m currently handling Bo. And I disagree with her. I’ve stepped into maid-of-honor duties and have planned their engagement party for Fourth of July weekend—just two weeks away. Despite our standoff about my love life, I can be fully supportive of hers.

  “Was Adrian upset about the concert tonight?” Monica asks, as we enjoy lunch outside in the grass.

  “Upset about what?” I scoff.

  “Doesn’t he know Bo’s going?”

  I didn’t even know Bo was going until yesterday afternoon, when Rae was trying to find a “sixth” person to go. I’d asked if there was a ticket for Monica. She couldn’t look me in the eyes when she told me Bo was the fifth.

  “He didn’t ask, I didn’t tell, it doesn’t matter. We’re not in a relationship, Monica.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Ember, when will you realize that you and Adrian Turner cannot do the “we’re not really in a relationship” thing?”

  In my head, I disagree. We’re different people than we were when we first met seven years ago. Our needs are different. My needs are different. As we chew in silence, I catch Bo walking toward us out of the corner of my eye—with that smile.

  “Hey Bo.” I smile between sips of my Fiji water. It’s not getting easier—saying his name or being around him—but I’ve become one hell of an actress.

  “Hello, ladies.” He sits down across from Monica and me, stretching his legs and messing a hand through his charcoal hair before leaning back.

  Damn. Why. Why is he so hot? All. The. Time.

  With her impeccable timing, Ainsley Worthington and her strawberry blonde hair interrupt what would have been a rather pleasant lunch. Her heels clack through the parking lot, and Bo rolls his eyes before she’s close enough to see.

  “Hey Spencer!” I swear she cheers just to piss me off. And, hearing her call him Spencer makes me want to throw up.

  “Hi Ains.” Ains? I see Monica’s eyebrows lift as Bo uses a nickname for her. He barely turns his head toward her, but that makes her walk all the way over to us.

  Shit.

  “Well, I know how much you liked the steak salad when we went to lunch the other day, so I thought I’d bring one by for you.” She holds out a brown paper bag and makes deliberate eye contact with me.

  Time freezes in my head but seems to continue outside, as Bo and Ainsley engage in some sort of exchange. I turn to Monica in the slowest motion known to man. She just shakes her head and shrugs. Because you’re friends, remember? The idea of Ainsley and Bo having lunch together overrides any rationale clinging to life in my brain. I stand up and brush myself off.

  “If you guys will excuse me, I have to get back to work. Bo, stop by my office later so we can talk about when we’re leaving for the concert.” I turn for the building and catch Bo biting a smile away from his lower lip, as Ainsley’s face goes flush. I can’t deny that it felt good to make her jealous, but I’ll try.

  * * *

  I’ve successfully avoided everyone for the rest of the afternoon by keeping myself busy with phone conferences. An hour before we’re supposed to leave for the concert, Monica walks into my office.

  “Good news, Josh got the night off, so he’s our sixth. Can I borrow your red lipstick?” She pulls a mirror out of her purse and smacks her lips together.

  “Sure. Are we getting ready here or at the hotel?” I ask, as I reach for my lipstick.

  “Like hell! You guys are coming to my house!” Rachel bounces in with Regan right behind her.

  Would it be weird if I just stayed here? I haven’t been back to the Cavanaugh estate. The thought of crossing that threshold again makes me dizzy.

  “Well then, let’s get out of here so we can pretty ourselves up for Chris Martin. Josh will meet us at the concert.” Monica slings her bag over her shoulder, says “hi” to Regan, and heads to the parking lot.

  We follow her down the hallway and into the sweet release of fresh air.

  “You feeling all right, Ember? You look a little pale.” Regan breaks my reminiscent gaze into nowhere.

  “What? Oh, sorry, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired—guess I should go get some coffee before we head to the concert.” I chuckle as I stretch my hands over my head.

  Although we’ve only known each other a short time, Regan has clearly tuned into me. Under ordinary circumstances, I’d like to think he’d be my best friend—I can feel that connection. He’s dating my ex-boyfriend’s sister, however, and seems to see my heart beating through my shirt whenever Bo’s around. His head nods in understanding, while his eyes give away his doubt. Before Regan can call me out, Bo walks over from his car.

  “Ready, Rae? Hey Regan, how’s it goin’, man?” Regan and Bo slap each other’s hands.

  “Yeah, Josh is meeting us there, and Regan can come with us. We’re all heading to the house so the girls can get ready.” Rae smiles and Bo’s eyes immediately shoot to mine...as do Regan’s.

  “I’m ready.” I force a smile while Bo and Rae head to his car, but Regan chooses to stick around and stare at me. “What?” I ask of Regan incredulously, bugging my eyes for effect.

  He shakes his head and puts his arm around my shoulders with a chuckle. “Ah, Rapunzel,” he teases, “I’m guessing this is going to be an interesting night.”

  “Oh, fuck entirely off, Regan.” I laugh and slide into Monica’s car.

  When I close the door, I have to deal with Monica’s face.

  “What now? Why can’t anyone leave me alone today?” I start in.

  “You know what now. What the hell was that earlier today with Ainsley? You do realize you showed Bo that you still care about him by pointing out your plans tonight in front of her, right?”

  I was so ticked off by Ainsley’s presence, and her assertion in front of me that they’d had lunch together, that I didn’t consider Bo’s reaction to what I said.

  “Whatever, just friggen drive.” I motion to Bo’s car that’s pulled out ahead of us.

  “You need to get your shit together, sister. You’re skinny as hell, even Josh has noticed. Plus you’re having sex all the live-long day with Adrian, oh, and you’re in love with Bo.”

  I bite my lip in an attempt to fight the anger brewing inside. I fail.

  “Here we go! Do you remember when we got loaded at Lost Dog? Before that was when you told me to “figure it out” with Adrian, or whatever you said. Well, I’m figuring it out, so leave it the hell alone, Monica.”

  “Oh, shut the hell up, like you do anything anyone tells you to do anyway. I could have told you to go after Bo that night, and you wouldn’t have done it just to spite me. Don’t use me as an excuse for your ‘issues.’” She puts air quotes around ‘issues’ and I kind of w
ant to punch her in the face.

  “Shit,” she continues, “I lost them.”

  “Turn left up here.” I motion with my hand.

  After I guide Monica to the private road, I watch her eyes widen to the same gauge mine must have the first time I came to this gate.

  “Yeah, I know. He left it open. Just drive through, he’ll close it from the house.”

  “You weren’t kidding ...” Monica recalls the phone call we had when I was in Bo’s bedroom after I met Rachel.

  When the house comes into view, my wires and signals have become so crossed, they pack up and head home for the evening. I can no longer run on instinct or what I think I should be doing, I have to force myself through the motions and just get to the concert.

  Chapter Sixteen

  When we’re secured in the massive foyer, Rachel and Monica head upstairs, while Bo takes Regan to the studio.

  I call after Rae and Monica, “I’ll be up in a minute, guys. I want to see Regan’s face when he sees the studio.” Ignoring their faces, I follow the guys downstairs.

  When I get to the studio, Bo has Regan in the control room. The last time I was in this room, Bo played the song he’d written for his parents. I glance at the piano, but there’s no music there.

  “Ember,” Regan speaks through the mic, “why don’t you show Bo that song Josh was helping you with. Bo, she can use your guitar, right?”

  “That won’t be necessary,” I hold up my hands, “I haven’t practiced it much—”

  Regan cuts me off, “It’s good, Ember.”

  “I’d like to hear it,” Bo clears his throat. “Guitar’s over there.”

  Come on!

  Bo nods toward his guitar, and I nervously walk over and pick it up. Josh has helped me tinker with the lullaby that Bo worked on...for me. We’re working on a second verse. I’m scared shitless to play it right now, but decide quickly that I need to. It’s my song, damn it.

  I look into Bo’s eyes as I start strumming, and watch his lips part as he takes a seemingly shocked breath. The first part of the verse is a carry-over of something Bo had written, and a small grin pulls at the corners of his mouth as I nail it. I look to the floor as a tougher part approaches, and I stumble over it. Twice.

  Great. Shit.

  When I look up, I see Bo walking toward me. His brow is slightly furrowed but he still has the cautious grin on his face.

  “That kind of chord transition is tricky. Good, but tricky. You’re over thinking it— I can see it on your face. Try this.” Bo moves to my side and places his left hand over mine. “See, normally you’d want to use this finger for the chord, but in order to accomplish that transition, it’s OK to use this finger here.” I go numb as he effortlessly moves my fingers around the strings.

  My heartbeat pounds through my lips. I look at Regan, who is staring back at me with intensity. With my pulse increasing, I audibly inhale to try to slow it down.

  Bo looks at me out of the corner of his eye and suddenly pulls his hands away. “Try that.”

  Despite the way he smells and how his hands felt against mine, I’m able to play. I flawlessly pull off the chord transition that’s tripped me up for a week straight.

  Regan hoots from behind the glass, “Yes! Perfect!”

  “Thank you,” I whisper as I slide the strap over my head. “I’ve gotta get up to the girls.”

  His hand slips over mine as he takes his guitar back. “Any time.” The smile’s gone.

  I force a smile and race out of the studio and up two flights of stairs to reach Rae’s room.

  “Ember, I’m sorry,” Rae says as if she didn’t notice my eight-minute absence. “I didn’t think about how this might be weird for you ...getting ready here.” She stares into herself while she pumps mascara over her already impossibly long eyelashes.

  “Oh, sure you did, Rae, don’t protect her. She’s being an ass.” Monica glides gloss over her pouty lips, nearly cheek-to-cheek with Rae.

  A bad taste infiltrates my mouth.

  “What the fuck, Monica?” Between whatever the hell just happened in the studio, and her bad attitude, I’ve about had it with her shit.

  Rae looks between Monica and me through the mirror.

  “You’re in love with him, Ember. The past few weeks have only made that more clear. Your face lights up whenever he walks in a room and falls when he’s not in the room you thought he’d be. The reason why it was so hot and heavy at the beginning is because it is the real deal. Nothing you do with Adrian Turner is going to change that.” Her betrayal is instantly evident to her as her cheeks redden deeper than the blush she started applying.

  Rae swallows hard, forces the most uncomfortable smile I’ve ever seen, and heads into her room.

  “Thanks a lot, Mon,” I huff as I turn to follow Rae.

  I find Rae shoving hangers from left to right in her closet, seemingly without purpose.

  “Rae ...what Monica said about Adrian ...” I sit on the edge of her bed.

  “No, Ember, it’s fine. I saw you two holding hands after our first meeting, and I didn’t think it was anything. I didn’t think you’d move on—” She cuts herself off, shrugs and turns toward me with glistening eyes. My stomach slides away. “I’ve seen it too, you know. The past few weeks, the way your face changes when Bowan’s around. It gave me hope, I guess.”

  I find myself scanning every conversation Bo and I have had with an audience. We’ve been professional, but that doesn’t mean eyes and smiles cooperate.

  “It’s not about moving on, Rae.” Why am I defending myself here? “Shit, you know, maybe I should just go home—I can pay you for my ticket.”

  “That’s bullshit, November, don’t do that. I know Bo hurt you. I was just hoping that by now he would have proven that he didn’t mean to.” She sniffs and slides a teal spaghetti-strapped dress over her tiny frame.

  “I know he didn’t mean to, Rae...and the stuff with Adrian—Monica doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. Please don’t say anything.” I rub my damp palms along the edge of her comforter.

  Can this get any worse?

  Rae sits next to me with her hands between her knees. “I won’t say anything to Bo. Just...please don’t lead him on, OK? He’s in love with you, and if you give him even a sliver of hope that gets destroyed, he’ll be crushed.” She’s not looking at me; she’s talking to her closet.

  Yes, this is much worse.

  “I haven’t meant to lead him—”

  “I know you haven’t. I’m not saying you have, but cut the bullshit banter with Ainsley, OK? It only fuels her fire, and gives Bo a reason to think ...” She shakes her head and looks at her hands.

  “I’m sorry, Rae.”

  “I love you, November. You know that? For me, you’re like a sister and that won’t change. But you were the best thing that happened to Bo, and I don’t care what anyone says about how fast, crazy, and reckless it was. It was you two. It was your story, no one else’s.”

  I pull her into a tight hug, fighting tears for something I can’t identify. I’m upset that Rae is hurting over me and Bo, my best friend isn’t on my side, and a gorgeous fiddle player I barely know senses the screwed-up war raging inside me. I haven’t let myself fully reassess my true feelings for Bo since I left Adrian’s hotel room that night, and right now is not the time to start. I’ve been proud of how we’ve handled our working situation, but it seems like that isn’t working for more than one person involved. Before I can give it any more thought, Monica comes in holding my ringing phone.

  “It’s Adrian,” she says dismissively.

  Caller ID, you traitorous bitch.

  I grab my phone and answer, while I head down the stairs and outside.

  “Hey you, what’s up?”

  “Not much, babe, haven’t heard from you since Tuesday night.” His voice tenses my insides.

  “Adrian, I’m so sorry. This week I had like eight hundred teleconferences, and we’ve got the concert tonight—”r />
  “Who’s going?” I hear him swallow what I can only assume is beer, based on his cool tone.

  I clear the shakes from my throat. “Um, me, Monica, Josh, Bo, Regan, and Rachel.”

  Silence.

  “Adrian? Is that a problem? I can ditch and come see you.”

  Did I just say that?

  “Nah, it’s cool, Blue. Just do you, remember? I know who you’re coming to tomorrow.” The cocky smile is evident over the phone and makes me simultaneously roll my eyes and smile.

  “I’ll talk to you later. I miss you.” I really do.

  As soon as I hang up, I hear footsteps behind me on the porch.

  “Ready? Who was that?” Bo asks as he snaps a leather cuff around his wrist.

  “Just my parents. Oh my God, listen to this.” I get closer and lower my voice, telling him about them going to San Diego to hit the studio again.

  “That’s awesome, November! I can’t wait to hear their new stuff.” He really can’t.

  I roll my eyes and chuckle. “We’ll see ...”

  “Oh stop, they’re great and you know it.” He playfully taps my shoulder, and for the first time since I walked blindly away from him, I feel it.

  With closed eyes, I dip my ear to my shoulder and take a slow breath. In the span of a second, the front door opens and Bo shoves his hand into his pocket as our friends gather on the porch.

  “All right, guys,” Monica starts, “we can all fit into my car since Josh is meeting us there.”

  Bo rubs the back of his neck, leaving his hand in place. “Actually, I’m gonna take my car, too. Ember, will you ride with me?” Everyone turns to stare at me.

  Oh for fuck’s sake. Are we seventeen? Seriously? Breathe. Get your shit together, Harris.

  “Sure, let’s go.” I head for Bo’s car, pushed forward by the collective breath everyone was holding.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When we exit the driveway, Bo turns the music down. Please not now.

  “I wanted to get you alone for a few minutes.” He rubs his hand on the top of his thigh.