“Umm, yeah…”
Even though I was confused about my feelings toward him, I didn’t know whether I should be upset or creeped out. I had no idea what to do. The only thing I knew for sure was that embarrassment flowed from limb to limb. Shit!
“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” He said, looking at me over his shoulder.
I nodded, deciding not to make explanations unless asked for them. Keep it short and simple. I slipped my sweatshirt on over my t-shirt before standing.
Ryan took the hint that our conversation was now over and led us to eating area. James and Azami were already seated, eating oats and bread. James’s smile grew to gigantic proportions as food was puffing out his cheeks, when he noticed us enter. Azami watched his reaction and followed his gaze. Once she saw me, she jumped off the stool and came running to me.
“Mama!” She giggled, slamming into my leg.
I laughed. “Having a good morning, baby?”
“Yes. Dames dot me some dood food. It’s all womm too.” I smiled at her words, still having trouble pronouncing certain letters. “You shood have some.” She pulled me over to where they were sitting and ordered James around. “Dames! Det Mommy some food too, peeze.”
He smiled at her, lovingly. “Sure thing, sweetheart.” He didn’t hesitate. When she asks you to do something and also says please, you can’t not give in to her. He jumped up and made his way over to the food to dish me up a plate.
Ryan leaned in and brushed James aside, “I got it.” Ryan served me a heavy helping, then slowly made his way over to deliver my food before moving to grab his own. We ate, enjoying the warm delicious textures. The silence was broken when James went in with question after question about anything to do with this place, or anything his mind could conjure up. Azami bounced around in the seat next to me, seeming to have all kinds of extra energy now that she got some healthy food into her belly.
After breakfast, Ryan led us back to the bathing area so we could clean up. James agreed to let the ladies go first. His words, not mine. Ryan lingered for only a moment, long enough to give us new toothbrushes and toothpaste just like he promised, as well as soap. He handed me a pair of boxers and a tank top to bathe in, along with towels to dry off with. They weren’t in the best shape, but better than anything we ever had. Azami would have to strip down and wash her clothes too―both sets. We haven’t been anywhere to wash our clothes appropriately in a very long while.
I couldn’t help but smile when I was bouncing around as much as Azami. “Az, Come here,” I told her after I had changed and climbed into the water. My clothing could use a good scrub down as well.
She giggled and bounded over to me. She paced at the edge, wondering how to get in. I have never taken her around any body of water large enough to swim in. I couldn’t risk our safety. We usually washed in small streams.
“Let me get your clothes off real quick.” I peeled off her clothing, tossing them in the water next to mine. I had some major scrubbing to do. “Alright. You ready?” I asked her.
She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes.” Her tiny body reaching for me.
“This is going to feel so good. This will be your first bath.” I pulled her into my lap. Her sharp intake of breath had me laughing harder. “Warm, huh? This is way better than those cold streams, isn’t it?”
As her answer, she began splashing water everywhere, drenching us both. We broke out into laughter as water dripped off my face.
“Dis feews dood.”
“Yes, it does. I do want to tell you though. You can never come here alone. You cannot swim and without mommy to hold you up you would drown.” I was having a hard time explaining this to her, since she had no idea what it meant to drowned. “Just promise mommy you will never come here without me.” I told her sternly, so she would know I was not kidding.
She nodded vigorously, understanding my tone. “Otay, Mommy.”
I hugged her against me, cherishing the love of my life. I couldn’t imagine being here without her. I sat her down in a shallow part of the tub and began washing our clothes as she splashed around in the water next to me. After the clothes, it was our bodies. Our bodies were almost as dirty as the clothes.
Once we were on the verge of being pruned, we climbed from the water and dried off. I’d have to lay our clothes out to have them finish drying. I had one little shirt for Azami and a t-shirt and sweat pants for me. We’d have to let our other clothes dry before washing the rest.
Once James finished his turn in the bath, Ryan showed us the chore schedule, which we had already been rotated into. I didn’t mind. I enjoyed working. Growing our own food and digging out our room was rewarding. For the most part, everyone seemed extremely friendly, except for Becky and that guy Jeff. Becky glared, while Jeff mainly stayed to himself. I kept Azami as far away from Jeff as possible. My Momma Bear radar went off around him, as well as Becky. I noticed that they would talk on occasion, so I assumed they were friends. In my opinion, they were a perfect match; a perfect bitch for a perfect creeper.
Today the chore schedule listed James and I for gardening. Ryan said I could let Azami go play with some of the other kids, but I wasn’t comfortable with that idea yet. I figured she could help with the seeding and watering, get a little learning into her mind today.
Ryan led us to the garden area where we’d work for the day. He explained what we needed to do and where he would be if we needed anything.
While I turned the dirt, James watered each shovel full several times to keep the soil soft and workable. The work was steady and rewarding, but most of all, it was relaxing. The sensation of my muscles stretching and gliding across my bones was invigorating. I paused a few times throughout the morning and just breathed in the earthy smell; savoring it, and watching Azami play a cooking game James had taught her. They had the best mud pies around.
Lunch crept up on us before we knew it. Ryan came to escort us, bringing water to drink, as well as a cloth to clean Azami’s hands.
“Do you need any help?” He asked cautiously as he handed over the cloth after wetting it.
I shook my head, not engaging him.
He turned to James then and began talking to him about the survival class he’d be joining. It was part of the schooling they had here.
I distracted myself with cleaning up Azami. The emotions bouncing around inside me were enough by themselves to send me into a meltdown. I was still shocked that we even ran into Ryan, out of all people, and Ryan was actually Ian, James’s brother.
He was being extra nice at every turn, giving me or getting us anything we may need from clothes to hygiene supplies. He even brought our food to us, and brought me water while I worked. I started with suspicion, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Was he really this Ryan? James’s amazing, adoring brother, or was he the man who was running around with a bunch of sick, twisted fucks, raping and pillaging their way through every town they went through?
As the hours ticked away, I realized he was only trying to be nice. Nice. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. I didn’t fear him as I thought I would. The person James rambled on and on about in our tree was not the same person I’d met those few years ago, nor was he the same person I’m seeing now.
My thoughts drifted away as Ryan sat food in front of Azami and me. He smiled slightly as I glanced up at him and my stomach did a summersault. The delicious smell of fresh carrots, potatoes, onions, celery, and some kind of meat, expanded my sinuses. Drawing my attention away from Ryan’s retreating back. I wondered for a moment where they found the meat, but I didn’t want to ask in case it ruined my appetite. Nowadays, I could care less what kind of meat I ate, as long as it wasn’t human.
The kids wolfed down their stew. Azami seeming to find a whole new level in her appetite. After they finished, they helped Sarah in the kitchen to start preparing the bread. She had Azami sitting on the counter next to her and James rolling dough balls for rolls. They’ve never done anything like this before, both looking c
ompletely engrossed in what they were doing. I smiled at Sarah when she caught me watching them and her eyes were alight with joy. She loved spending time with the kids.
Watching James, I noticed how much older he’s gotten in the short time I’ve been with him, Azami as well. She was just a little thing when we all first met. James is at an awkward stage in his life; half boy, half man. My heart skipped a beat and sank a little in my chest. Soon, he’ll be too big for me to protect and take care of, even cuddle against at night when he’s scared. They’re growing up too fast, right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t ask for a better place for them to finish growing.
All these thoughts settled over me like a blanket. If we could all make it through this, my family would live their lives and be happy because this is all they know. I’m so thankful that James knew of this place, and that we decided to come here, even if a shit storm was waiting for me in the form of Ryan.
The smell of cooking bread filled the tunnels with its fragrance, snapping me back to the present. It was making my mouth water, even though I was still too full to eat another bite.
Every night, Dane or Ryan would write down what the daily duties were and assigned people to work them. I was actually excited about receiving my assignments each night. Doing something productive that changed on a consecutive basis was refreshing, and it gave me something to look forward to.
Building my stamina up took a couple of days. Before we arrived, our eating habits were not the best and the work that we did was usually manual labor, requiring me to have muscle where I did not. By the third day, I seemed to get the hang of things. Every muscle in my body ached but it felt good, being a part of a community that wanted you around, well, most of them anyway.
Dane said that it would only take a handful of days until our room would be completed. I was second-guessing wanting my own room because I actually enjoyed staying in Ryan’s room. I usually woke up before anyone else, soaking up the sun’s rays while watching the three of them sleep. James’s hair was almost as dark as Ryan’s now. They looked so peaceful, an expression I thought I would never see on another humans face again.
“You look happy,” Ryan says as he wakes up.
I didn’t say anything at first, but I couldn’t help the answer I gave, “I am.”
“I’m glad.” He said, closing his eyes again and stretching out his arms and legs.
Instead of looking at his body, which was something I’d been finding myself doing more often than I should, I looked up through the cracks in the ceiling and watched the clouds float through the sky.
Eventually, we all had to head out for breakfast, and then our day’s work in the garden. The conversation came easy in the cave. I found it nice to have their company while we ate and worked. Before the Flash, I always tried my best to stay away from people, never really having any kind of positive experiences with anyone.
Breakfast was the same as usual; people saying hello and nodding in our direction. Ryan always sat next to either James or Azami when I’d let him during meal times. He was always getting her food or picking her plate up when she finished. He was doting on her, making my chest ache. I wanted so much for her to have a father, but I was so afraid of anyone finding out, more so James, since he knew how Azami came to be. I watched how Ryan was with Azami, and he just always seemed so in awe of her, like she was a blessing and not a burden of our past, which is exactly how I saw her. This all made it more complicated and heartbreaking. Besides the few awkward moments we’ve shared, he has never given any kind of hint that he may harm her, or me again, for that matter.
I was helping with the last shift of work, planting corn on the east side of the main cavern as Jen began to water the finished areas, making sure everything was nice and saturated. Azami played at our feet, making her special mud pies. She informed us earlier that this was James’s dinner for the night.
“I’m going to go wash up.” I told her as she sprayed the final area with water.
“Mama, I not done yet,” Azami said, punctuating her point by patting her final mud pie in her hands.
“It’s alright. I’ll bring her in with me when I’m done watering, that way you’ll have plenty of time to clean up.” Jen smiled down at Azami. I had never let her out of my site for a minute, not unless she was with James, and even then it was for a small amount of time. I was finding myself wanting to trust the people here, so I decided that this one time, I would leave her in the hands of Jen, someone who has only shown us kindness. I would hope in the future I could let my guard down and trust them all, but I’ll settle for one at a time.
“Okay. I’ll be in the bathroom if you need me.” I turned to walk away, then asked, “Do you want to sit in the hot tub for a while?” I looked to Azami because I knew she’d get excited.
She began to bounce up and down, clapping her muddy hands while spraying the wet chunks all over her clothes. “Yes! I want to sim, Mama.”
“Okay, baby. Jen will bring you out to the pool when you’re all done.”
I hurried down the tunnel across from where we worked. Complete darkness engulfed me for a few steps, until I turned a corner and the light started to trickle in from the ceiling. I looked up watching the flickers of light dance across the pathway. I traced my fingers down the cave wall as I walked. The texture was grainy and sandy, leaving a light brownish red powdery substance on my fingertips.
I reached the pool area and walked past it to the tunnel that held the toilets. I knew the area pretty well now and didn’t need a light to find my way. During the day, if you let your eyes adjust before moving all the way into the lavatory, you could see a little. There was a trace of light in the back of the room that resembled a dim night light.
I stepped into the room and paused to let my eyes adjust. Once I could see, I continued walking into the washroom and over to the toilet area. As I finished and washed my hands in the stream that ran along the wall, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned with a smile; assuming Jen brought Azami in to wash up.
“It’s nice to finally catch you alone.” The voice said as something smashed against the side of my head.
I plummeted to the ground, dropping like a stone in water. My vision went dark as I hit the ground and all the air flew from my lungs as I landed. A sharp kick to the ribs made me gasp for the air that already eluded me, giving me no time to regain my bearings. Finally, I caught a breath just as something solid hit me in the face. My head snapped back as the world disappeared and reappeared in dark, spinning circles.
“You think you can take me on? You’re nothing! Look at yourself!” The voice screamed at me and I recognized it―Becky.
“Get off me!” I yelled back, trying to recover as fast as I could, hoping that someone would hear me. I felt like I would lose consciousness at any moment as stars danced in my vision. I always heard that phrase and never understood it, not until now, that is.
“You’re nothing.” She murmured to herself, sounding half-crazed as she continued her assault. Her movements were frantic; jittery and clipped, as if she was being possessed. Thank God I didn’t bring Azami in here with me. I couldn’t imagine if she did this to me and went for her when I couldn’t protect her.
That thought forced me to move, rolling away from one of her kicks and landing flat on my back. I looked up just in time to see her draw her foot back and slam it into the side of my face before I could get my arms up in front of me. I was beginning to lose consciousness. I tried to fight it but couldn’t seem to control it, even as I began to hear people arguing.
“What are you doing?” The words roared around the cavern.
“Is she okay?” A female voice asked, panicked.
A scuffle sounded next to me, but I couldn’t track the activity with my eyes. At this point, I’m not even sure I could see with the spots blurring out my vision.
“We need to move her. She needs cleaned up so we can assess the damage. You guys take her out of here. Move her to the pit for now and we’ll figure out
what to do with her later.” The same angry voice ordered.
“No! Don’t put me down there.” Becky pleaded, sounding more normal than she had moments ago.
Strong hands slid under me and then I was off the floor, weightless. My entire body ached, but worst of all, I vomited as soon as I was lifted. My head was not cooperating with coming out of the fog it was in. I continued to empty my stomach, and when I was done, one could hope, my head was held against someone’s chest and we were in motion.
I wanted to talk, to ask where Azami was and if she was ok, but I couldn’t even speak. I wasn’t confused, but nothing was working quite right with me. All I could do was lay there motionless in someone’s arms, mumbling incoherently.
“Shhh…You’re alright. I’ll take care of you, so you just need to rest now.” I knew that voice. That voice once whispered calming things to me during something terrible, and I just knew that it wasn’t lying to me. Just as I had that thought, a light brush of lips feathered my forehead, and then everything went black.
~~~~~
I woke up on something soft. I moaned as I turned my head to the left, feeling as if a mac truck had hit me.
“Try not to move.” A male voice said next to me. My eyes tried hard to focus, and once they did to some degree, I saw Ryan lying next to me, watching me intently. “How do you feel? Tell me everywhere the pain is coming from?” he says while reaching out to push the hair out of my face.
I thought about his question for a minute. I was sore everywhere, but had a sharper, more intense pain in my side and my head where Becky smashed something against me. “My side hurts… And my head,” I sprawled my fingers over the spot on the side of my head. “I’m kind of sore everywhere, but my side and head hurt the worst.
“Becky ambushed you in the bathroom and beat you pretty badly. You have bruises on your sides from being kicked in the ribs, so we’ll assume your ribs are either bruised or broken. Now that you’re awake, we can figure it out. Your face is banged up too. She hit you with a softball sized rock. You sound ok, so I’m hoping there’s no permanent head damage, but we really need to watch you just to make sure.” He pauses for a moment before he continues with what he needs to say, “That was scary as shit, seeing you like that. A hit like that could have killed you,” His fingers clench just beside my face and he pulls away.
Flash Series (Book 1): Infected Page 8