Found by You

by Victoria H. Smith

  The information didn’t surprise me, but it still sent a jump into my heart.

  “Complements of D. Though not entirely by his choice.” She chuckled like she said something funny. “He was moping at a party I went to last night about Griffin not telling him about you and the,” she lifted her fingers, air quoting, “‘stuff’ you do. I was obviously intrigued so I pushed a drink, or four, his way. Wasn’t hard to do since he drinks like a fish. Opened him right up. He has a nasty little piece of you saved on his computer by the way. That’s what’s on your coffee table.”

  Fear brewed in my belly at what she might want for what she had, but I refused to let it reflect on my face. “So what of it?” I asked casually. “You obviously want something for it.”

  She leaned back into my sofa. “Obviously.”

  I eyed her, wanting her to get this over with.

  She said two words: “End it.”

  I knew exactly what she was referring to and a short laugh left my throat at the actual possibly that she thought I’d break up with my boyfriend over this. I said my own two words, leaning forward. “Fuck you.”

  She spread her arms out on the back of the couch as if making herself comfortable. “I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. You telling me off at the country club told me that. You’re not intimidated by me, are you?”

  I said nothing, and she stood, making her way toward me. It took all I had not to leave an imprint of my hand across her face.

  “I guess we’ll try this at a different angle. You will end this with him or I will destroy him.”

  The breath left my lips. What did she mean?

  Tanya’s mouth turned up at my reaction. She tilted her head. “That got your attention again, didn’t it?”

  I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like someone was squeezing my lungs in a vise, causing me to suffocate. “What are you talking about? How—”

  “You obviously feel like you have nothing to lose,” she said, placing her hand on her hip. “But you know he does.”

  My body trembled, but I wasn’t ready to give in. Not yet. Not after what Griffin and I promised each other. “You can show that DVD anywhere you want. It won’t matter. Griffin and I… we’re not intimidated by it or you.”

  She looked at me as if I was slow, dense, and incredibly stupid. “I’m not talking about the fucking DVD. That was my attempt at getting you to come around painlessly—which you refused. Griffin’s got skeletons. Shit he’s gotten himself into that one word of it would cause him to lose everything. His basketball scholarship. Agreements I know he’s already made post graduation for future endorsements and offers. No one in their right mind would touch him. He’d be shit out of luck come draft time. No one wants a scandal when signing a new player. Griffin’s got a past sprinkled with frivolities he knew the risks of putting his hands on, and I’ll make sure it comes out.”

  I looked away, the sickness building. She must have been referring to the bribery. Would she really snitch? Out him and make him lose it all… over me? I didn’t believe her. No one was that crazy. If Griffin lost it all, why would she want what was left of him after the dust settled? She didn’t seem like the type to settle for anything less than elite. This girl was nothing but malicious and vindictive, and I was calling bullshit on her.

  I rushed to the door, doing what I should have done a long time ago…

  Kick her ass out.

  “I want you out of my apartment before I’m forced to call the cops to physically remove your heels from my floorboards,” I gritted, my chest rising and falling. “If you think for a second I’d actually believe you’d bring him down—”

  She crossed in front of me. “Do you really want to take that chance?” She put her hands on her hips, getting up in my face. “Do you really want to test me? Cross me? Cause believe me, sweetie, you’ll be burned. I have no problem taking him down. None at all. I’d rather him be fucked up, alone, and nothing than with you. And that, darling, would be done strictly on principle. I don’t lose. Ever. Especially to someone like you.”

  Her dark blue eyes blazed at me and her piercing stare actually chilled me to the bone. I couldn’t comprehend this. None of this made sense. How could someone be such a monster?

  I parted my lips to speak and my mouth fought the quiver from my shock. “Why are you doing this?”

  Finally, she stepped out of my residence. She stood completely calm in the hallway, as if she hadn’t lashed out at me. “I told you. I don’t lose.” She seemed as if she’d leave when she turned, but then she lifted her head. “I know Griffin and he won’t accept you leaving without a good excuse. He’s stubborn like that when he cares about something.”

  When he cares about something… or in this case someone. The tears pricked at my eyes, but my pride caused me to lower my head so this girl, this monster, couldn’t see them. I found my mouth forming words I never thought I’d say tonight, thoughts I never believed I’d consider.

  “What can be done?” I asked, my words barely audible.

  Tanya could have done anything after I said that. Laugh at me, gloat, but thankfully, she merely crossed her arms as if getting down to business.

  “By now I’m sure he’s asked you to come home with him to his family reunion.”

  I blinked.

  She nodded. “I figured he would. He asked me our freshman year when we were getting serious. He refrained from making the same mistake following years. I made sure of that. He knows I hate them, and he has no business being around people I can’t stand.”

  As if I wasn’t already disgusted with this girl.

  “Anyway, you should go. Have your fun. Get in your last hurrah.” She raised her hands dramatically. “When it’s over, tell him you just couldn’t consider a future relationship because you didn’t ‘mesh’ well with his family. No doubt you won’t. They’re completely white trash.”

  I closed my eyes, unable to look at her.

  “Point of the matter is, use his family as an excuse. Griffin unfortunately cares about them. In the end, he’ll choose them. I learned that the hard way when I pushed him too hard about not seeing them during the holidays. I backpedalled and decided to keep him on a short leash. Let him see them just enough to keep him from complaining. I knew if I didn’t, he’d choose them. So you’re going to use his family. Refuse them and you refuse him. He’ll accept that.”

  She talked as if this whole thing was a science. Like she knew him inside and out and had him calculated. He had yet another element to him that I found admirable. His passion and care for his family. My heart clenched that I never had that. Never even had the chance to have that. Perhaps with him I might have had a chance. A way to break that tough wall around my heart. The tears clouded my eyes that I’d be denied another chance. Another home, with him this time, of care and love. Griffin Chandler was the chance I never knew. It’s funny how things come to light when you realize you were about to lose them.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Griffin

  Roxie had been so distant the last few days. In fact, I hadn’t seen her at all since the bake sale until I picked her up to go to the airport this morning. She said she’d been busy with school during the day, then at night with Clare. She’d stayed over in her dorm as Clare had chosen not to attend her classes for the rest of the week. The whole situation was terrible, and I completely understood Roxie wanting to help by staying with her. Why I felt she was being distant was because the attempts I had made to see her around her new schedule were dismissed on her end. We lived in the same apartment building. We should have been able to see each other for at least a few minutes, but Roxie wasn’t making that easy. She never seemed to be around so I could come down and see her. Yet all this could be in my head since I missed her so much this week. I was happy for this reunion. This was time away we could spend together and relieve some of the stress from the week, but already we weren’t getting off to a great start. She’d been quiet the whole way to the airport, only using short sentences
about how she was and one and two word answers about everything else. I didn’t want to jump to paranoia about the distant thing, so I left her alone since she just seemed to be tired. We did have an early flight out of town. We’d be in Texas in about three hours on a nonstop flight. I hoped she didn’t sleep the whole time. I wanted to talk to her and see how she was.

  I settled into the aisle seat after we boarded our plane. I gave Roxie the window seat so she could have the option to sleep on it during the flight—which she already seemed to be starting in on and we hadn’t even taken off yet.

  She buried her hands deep inside the pocket of the hoodie she wore, closing her eyes as she rested her head against the back of the seat.

  Call me selfish, but I wanted to talk to her first. Things felt so weird between us. I turned completely to see her better. “Hey.”

  Her eyes opened, and she looked at me. She smiled, but the expression was so faint. “Hi.”

  An awkward silence moved between us and it had me uneasy. Talking seemed like a good idea only moments ago, but now… I tapped my thumbs against my jeans restlessly. “How’s, uh, Clare doing?”

  What little smile she had disappeared, and I regretted the decision to ask.

  “Not good. She’s real depressed. She’s seeing the school’s counselor. I’m scared she’s going to withdraw from school. She’s just so close to being done, though.”

  I couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling. There were so many people there that night and my ass was responsible for the majority of them.

  I must have taken too long to respond because Roxie closed her eyes again. Gazing around aimlessly, I noticed her legs. They were exposed as she was wearing a yellow skirt and matching flip-flops. She must have been bracing herself for the weather down there as it was still chilly in the Midwest. I thought to compliment her.

  “I like that skirt on you,” I told her.

  Her green eyes opened, and for some reason she tugged on her skirt. Like she was attempting to cover herself from me.

  “Thanks,” she said, her head lowered. “It’s a dress actually. I hope it’s okay for the reunion.”

  My family was very casual, but it was nice she made an attempt to impress them. It made me smile.

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine. It does look good.” I leaned my head back against the seat. The urge to touch her tickled at my hands now that I’d brought attention to her legs. They looked so rich and smooth and I knew they were as I’d had my hands on them before.

  Unable to resist the feeling, I rested my hand on the closest one, passing the touch off as keeping her warm by rubbing my hand up and down her skin.

  She gazed down immediately. Her jaw tightened and I didn’t know why. “Um, Griffin?” she said.

  An off feeling brewed in my belly by the way she looked at me. The way she said my name was like that night she wanted me to stop kissing her. Why did I feel as if touching her was suddenly inappropriate? I curbed the feeling as it didn’t make sense.

  “Yeah?” I said.

  She chewed her lip for what seemed like eons, and my hand felt hot all the sudden, awkward and weighed down. “Maybe we should layoff on the touching thing… you know, since we’re going to see your family?”

  I didn’t understand the statement. We were miles away from them. Hours from interacting with them. It didn’t make sense for us to stop touching now when we wouldn’t be able to with eyes constantly on us soon. “I get that, Roxie, but there really doesn’t seem to be a need for that now. We won’t see them for a while.”

  She didn’t say anything, and she also wouldn’t make direct eye contact. She remained stiff underneath my hand and I got the hint.

  Forcing myself from getting frustrated, I removed my hand, stuffing both of them in my own hoodie pocket.

  She laid her head back, closing her eyes again, and I chose to take her lead.

  Lowering the bill of my baseball cap, I shut my eyes. As we prepared to take off, I wondered if she was still mad at me for the situation with my friends the other night. We hadn’t talked about it since then, but that seemed like the only explanation for this weird barrier she built between us. The only reason that made sense.

  Roxie

  I knew it. I knew I should have ended this. That day. That night. The moment after his ex left my apartment. This was just cruel. For both Griffin and me. I was making us nothing but awkward around each other. I couldn’t help it though. I couldn’t see him before our scheduled trip today, and he couldn’t touch me. Not when I planned to…

  It just hurt. Touching him no longer felt right, and I had to close my eyes so many times today. If I hadn’t, he’d see the water in them. The tears I’d been shedding nightly. The only time I hadn’t cried was when I was around Clare. For her benefit, I got it together. She didn’t talk much and slept in her own tears. Those moments of her sleeping allowed time for me to shed mine. I could do that now if I’d done the right thing and let Griffin go right away. Perhaps that was Tanya’s real agenda for this weekend. Not that I’d go to Texas and use this time with Griffin’s family as an excuse to break up with him, but that I would wallow in my own misery, ruin this trip, and make Griffin look like a fool in front of his family for choosing me. I fell right into her trap. I wished I just could have ended it, but I wasn’t strong enough.

  I was selfish.

  That selfishness continued to show when I carried on the poorly played ruse that nothing was wrong. The two of us were dead silent. He didn’t question me on the wall I built, nor did I confess I built one. When we landed in Texas, the distance between us remained the same. We headed to baggage claim with the foot of space I put between our walking bodies. His black bag came up quickly on the conveyer belt, but my little purple one didn’t show. It was us and only three others left when Griffin decided we should check to see if something happened to it.

  I couldn’t help but think “Karma” when we went to customer service for help.

  A pretty brunette with curly hair assisted us at her station. “Hi, there. How can I help you?”

  Her Texas drawl would probably be the first of many I heard today. It was incredibly thick and sweet sounding.

  Griffin placed his hands on the counter he towered over. “Uh, yeah, thanks. We actually just got off our flight and my girlfriend’s bag never turned up in the baggage claim.”

  I fought myself from cringing as I lowered my head. He called me his girlfriend. That title was no longer right for me to wear. He deserved so much better than this. But how could I stay if it would only damage his life? I couldn’t be that selfish. I just… couldn’t.

  “Yes, I can help you with that,” the woman said. “Can I see her ticket please?”

  After he handed it to her, she clicked around on her computer. “Looks like I found the problem. Seems like it was accidently placed on the wrong flight.”

  Yes, this was indeed Karma having its way. God…

  “Good news is we caught the bag before it got too far. If you give us an address, we can have it delivered by 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.”

  *

  “I’m sorry about your bag,” Griffin said in our moving cab, frowning. “I’ll borrow my dad’s truck and run you by Walmart for whatever you need. Toiletries, clothes, and whatnot.”

  I wasn’t sad about the bag. It only felt fitting considering what was happening. What made my heart heavy was far worse and his genuine remorse for my luggage was part of that. I shrugged casually, hoping to get that horrible look of sadness off his handsome face. “It’s okay, it happens. And thanks. I’d like that.”

  I didn’t wait for the look to go away as I was finding it increasingly harder to look at him. I gazed out the window at the brown peaks in the distances, the large hills with sun peaking over them. Where we were going was far out from the city and airport. There was nothing but landscape passing us by.

  Shrugging behind my seatbelt, I maneuvered out of my hoodie. It was about twenty degrees warmer here than at home, but it w
as perfect. Not too hot at all and wonderfully breezy.

  I tossed my hoodie on the floor and leaned back. That’s when I felt Griffin’s hand on my exposed shoulder due to the style of my dress.

  I closed my eyes, shutting out the landscape through the window before me. His touch actually hurt now. Seared and burned.

  “Did I do something, Roxie?” he asked.

  My eyes were closed, but I knew they were forming tears. They had to be. I opened them and got confirmation. They were close to falling. I drew in a quiet breath, and then forced myself to hold a small smile when I looked at him.

  He had his baseball cap on, the bill shadowing his eyes, but the sadness shown through. The worry. It just about killed me; it battered my already broken heart even more.

  He lowered his hand from my shoulder. “Is it what happened the other night? With my friends? I know we never talked about it, but I thought we were okay.”

  I managed to hold my smile. “We are okay. I’m passed that. You didn’t do anything.”

  This, what was going on, was all me.

  His expression didn’t seem to change. Staring at me, his eyebrows drew in, tense and tight. “Prove it then. Prove nothing’s wrong.”

  My mouth parted, but I didn’t know what he meant. Therefore I was unsure how I should respond. Turns out I didn’t have to.

  He clicked off the seat belt stretched over his broad chest. Once he let it fall behind him, he opened his arms.

  “Let me hold you,” he said. “Let me hold you until we get to my gram’s house.”

  He cut me to the quick and he didn’t even know it. He couldn’t possibly know of the pain his request would cause me or he wouldn’t have made me do it. But he did…

  So I had to.

  I unbelted myself, then slid backwards across the seat, fighting myself from doing it reluctantly.

  His long arms moved around me and my body naturally settled against his like he was home base. Like he was that beacon I was supposed to float toward.

  I lifted my legs onto the seat and rested there against him. I didn’t care how dangerous it was to be in a moving car in this position and I had a feeling it was because I felt so protected. I could do this. I could have this if only for a little while. He was going to keep his distance once we got to his grandma’s. I could let myself have this now. Just this one time.