Memories with The Breakfast Club: Remember Love

by Silvia Violet

  “I’m so glad we are.”

  “Me too.” Antonio wished he didn’t sound so wistful, but it was true. He wanted Scott, and he was glad they could talk now.

  Scott glanced toward the top of the screen and frowned. “I should really get some sleep. I’ve got to give a presentation in the morning.”

  “Okay.” Not only were they in different cities. They were on completely different schedules. This was crazy.

  “Are you working tomorrow?”

  Antonio nodded. “Our schedules are rarely going to sync up.”

  “I could talk to you on a break.”

  Antonio considered that. If he could fuck a dancer in a supply closet, he could sure as hell have phone sex in one. “We can’t get quite this elaborate, but there are plenty of private spots where I could talk.”

  “As much as I loved this, just talking would be fine. I enjoy being with you, no matter what we do. I always have.”

  Scott’s words made Antonio’s chest ache. He wasn’t sure he could handle the intensity of his emotions. Part of him wanted to get on the next plane to Boston, and part of him wanted to run. “What made you think of me this morning?”

  “I got a waffle from a street cart.”

  Antonio’s favorite. They used to get them in Central Park every weekend. “Mmm.”

  “I thought about how you always got yours with extra whipped cream.”

  “I still do.”

  Scott sighed.

  “Go to bed,” Antonio said.

  “Okay. Good night. I lo—I’m glad we talked and…everything else.”

  “Good night, Scott.”

  Antonio’s hand shook as he reached out to end the call. Had Scott almost said I love you?

  Antonio wouldn’t even have been startled. He would’ve just said it right back. How the hell were they already where they’d been three years ago, ready to make a commitment that scared the fuck out of him?

  Chapter Seven

  Antonio stopped by Marcus’s office to let him know that one of the dancers had called in sick. He wasn’t there, but Tyler was waiting for Marcus to return.

  They hugged, and when they pulled apart, Tyler gave him as assessing look. “I hear your ex stopped by.”

  He blew out an exasperated breath. “Great. So Marcus told you.”

  Tyler started toying with a pen on Marcus’s desk. “You know how it is here. Everyone knows everyone’s business.”

  “Except you don’t work here, and you haven’t been here much recently, so I know who keeps you up on gossip.”

  “He’s worried about you.”

  Antonio forced himself not to snap. Marcus’s interfering nature wasn’t Tyler’s fault. “He can stop.”

  “Are you sure? Your ex—that no one knew about, by the way—comes in, you run off, and then you sleep with him and mope around, acting pissy.”

  Antonio took a slow breath. Stay calm. “He really did tell you all my business.”

  “He’s—”

  “Worried about me. Yeah, I get it. But there’s no problem. When Scott first came in, I just…didn’t want to see him, okay?”

  “Because you were angry with him?”

  Antonio shook his head. “No, I wasn’t even angry with him for long after we broke up. I pretended I was, though, to make myself feel better for not accepting his apology, much like you pretended to hate Marcus.”

  Tyler narrowed his eyes. “I did hate Marcus.”

  Antonio raised his brows.

  “He was an asshole.”

  Antonio continued to give him a pointed look.

  Tyler made an exasperated noise. “He was so annoyingly attractive, and I did not want to like him.”

  “Annoyingly attractive is a perfect description.”

  “And you love that in a man.”

  Tyler sounded very satisfied to have something on him, and that certainly described most of the men Antonio had lusted after, but not Scott, the one man he loved.

  “Scott isn’t like that at all. He’s not like anyone the guys here would expect me to fuck, much less date, and I’m different with him.”

  “Don’t change yourself for him.”

  Antonio shook his head. “No, it’s not like that. It’s more like I changed myself after we broke up. Or maybe I just let a different side of me dominate and forgot about things I used to want.”

  “I sort of did that when I took over care of Lillie.”

  Antonio could imagine that becoming the sole caregiver for your niece would cause lots of changes. “Does love always make you feel like shit?”

  “Whoa, are you saying you love Scott? Are you going to be the next one of us to fall?”

  Antonio glared at him. “Don’t you dare.”

  Tyler grinned. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

  “Even Marcus?”

  “I’m pretty sure he suspects. And to answer your question, yeah, love made me feel like shit until I let myself admit how I felt.”

  “It stopped hurting so much then?”

  Tyler nodded. “It got better gradually.”

  “But Scott’s in Boston. There’s no giving in for me.”

  “Boston isn’t that far away.”

  But how could he work and go to school and shuttle back and forth between two cities? “It is when I can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “So what do you want to do about it?”

  “I don’t know. It’s only been a few days. It’s insane to be thinking about moving to Boston, right? And I’m in school here, and he’s got a good job there, and—”

  “Were you in love with him before?”

  “I never admitted it, but yeah, I think I was, and it feels like nothing’s changed. I feel just as strongly as I did, and I think he feels the same way.”

  “Then talk to him. Find out if he really does.”

  Antonio shook his head. “I can’t yet. I need to figure out how far I’m willing to take this. I fell apart after we broke up, and I was miserable for months. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

  “Is that why you don’t date?”

  Antonio nodded.

  “So figure out what you need, and see if he’s willing to give it to you.”

  Antonio couldn’t help but grin. “I already know exactly how well he can give it to me.”

  Tyler rolled his eyes. “You have the filthiest mind.”

  “You haven’t met Scott yet.”

  “Don’t take too long thinking this over. If things are as serious as they sound, you don’t want to put off making a decision.”

  ***

  Scott looked at the clock for the hundredth time. Antonio had promised to call as soon as he was up. Since it was Saturday, they were actually home simultaneously for the first time in days. Earlier, he’d been all worked up imagining another session of Skype sex, but now anxiety over whether to tell Antonio about his job interview had overridden his anticipation of describing in detail how he wanted to bend Antonio over the end of the bed and fuck him hard.

  Would Antonio want to know there was a possibility he’d be moving to New York? Would it scare him off? Would it just be a disappointment if he didn’t get the position?

  It would likely be a few weeks before Scott heard anything, but if he kept it a secret, would Antonio be angry once he found out? If he didn’t get the job, he wouldn’t ever have to say anything, but he wasn’t sure he could hide his disappointment.

  His laptop chirruped. It was Antonio. Fuck, he still hadn’t decided. His heart thrummed as he accepted the Skype call. But as soon as he saw Antonio’s face, he knew there was no point in telling him about the job. They weren’t going to virtually fuck either. Antonio had the I’m-feeling-guilty-because-I’m-about-to-break-up-with-you look. Scott had seen that look many times, usually right before he heard the words “You’re really nice, but…”

  He’d thought things were going well. He’d even convinced himself Antonio felt as strongly as he did, that maybe he even loved Sco
tt. He considered cutting the connection just so he didn’t have to hear those painful words.

  Antonio just watched him, though, looking increasingly more unhappy. Finally, Scott said, “Go ahead and get it over with.”

  “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m a mess at work. I keep coming up with crazy schemes about visiting you, or begging you to come here, but I… It’s too much. We’re too far apart, and I can’t be this wrapped up in you.”

  Those weren’t exactly the words he’d expected to hear. Could he salvage this? “Would you be thinking of me always if I were there?”

  Antonio shrugged, and Scott hated how defeated he looked. “I don’t know. At least I could see you; maybe I could…”

  “Get me out of your system?”

  “No, I mean… Scott, I don’t want to do this halfway, and that’s all it can be right now.”

  Here it comes. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  Wait, did Antonio want to be convinced otherwise? “What do you want me to say?”

  Antonio shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “I hurt you before.”

  “And I was a bitch about it.”

  “No, you were justifiably too angry to listen to me.”

  Antonio looked away. Were those tears in his eyes? “But I wanted you. I’ve always wanted you.”

  “Then why…” are you breaking up with me?

  “I need some time to think, to decide what I want. This has all been so sudden, and being apart is…”

  “Stressful?” Scott suggested.

  Antonio nodded.

  Scott wanted to be with Antonio desperately, but he didn’t want to push too hard and lose him. Antonio taking time to think didn’t mean it was over for good. “I’m not asking for anything exclusive while we’re apart.”

  “I know, and the guys at the club wouldn’t believe this since they think I’d never settle down, but when it comes to you, I’m either with you completely or not at all. I can’t handle it any other way. You’re not just another guy.”

  Scott’s chest tightened. Then don’t leave me. “I… You’re not just another guy for me either.”

  “Would you give me two weeks?”

  Two weeks of not talking to Antonio, or touching him—Scott had been thinking about surprising him the following weekend. But Antonio wasn’t breaking up with him. There was still a chance, and if he heard about the job… “Yes.”

  “No calling or texting either.”

  Scott sighed. “Okay, but I can’t promise not to fantasize.”

  Antonio smiled. “I won’t ask that.”

  “And after two weeks?”

  “We’ll talk about how we feel and what we want to do.”

  Scott already knew he wasn’t going to feel any different than he did right then. If three years apart hadn’t changed anything, two more weeks sure as hell wouldn’t.

  Chapter Eight

  Antonio’s phone chimed. He glanced at the screen and then quickly stuck it back in his pocket. It was Scott. He shouldn’t be texting, and Antonio shouldn’t want to text him back so badly. If he didn’t read it, he wouldn’t be able to reply.

  You can’t ignore it forever.

  “Was that Scott?”

  Of course Tyler had noticed. He was sitting at the end of the bar, and they’d been talking during a lull in customers.

  Antonio considered lying. It would be easier, but Tyler would probably see through it and pester him anyway. “Yes.”

  “And you’re not going to answer?”

  “We’re not supposed to be talking.”

  Tyler raised his brows.

  “I know you think I should talk things through with him, but I need to make some decisions for myself.”

  “How long have you been thinking?”

  “Five days.” Five very long, lonely days, which made no sense because he’d only reconnected with Scott a little less than a week before he asked for some time.

  “Have you come to any conclusions?”

  “No.”

  Tyler’s look said that was exactly what he’d expected. “You need to find out what Scott thinks.”

  “Which is obviously what you did with Marcus?” Tyler had made assumptions that had almost cost them their relationship.

  “It’s not the same.”

  Antonio glared at him.

  Tyler spun one of the coasters. He didn’t speak until it flopped back onto the bar. “Fine, you’re right. But I’ve learned from my mistakes.”

  “Good for you. Now let me learn from mine.”

  “I think you already have.”

  Antonio had learned he missed the hell out of Scott. But he’d also learned how much love could hurt. Of course, both those lessons came because he’d been too damn stubborn to talk to Scott three years ago.

  “Scott should’ve trusted me back then.”

  “You should’ve punched Rick in the balls.”

  Antonio smiled. “Probably.”

  “Scott made a mistake, and so did you. Are you going to keep making it?”

  “Can long-distance relationships really work?”

  Tyler shook his head. “I’m so not going to answer that.”

  Antonio sniffed. “Fine. Refuse to help.”

  More customers started to flow in, and Antonio got busy serving drinks until it was time for him to go on break.

  He pulled out his phone and looked at the text from Scott.

  I know I’m not supposed to talk to you this week, but something really important came up. Text me when you can.

  Antonio was far too curious to ignore the message.

  What’s up?

  When Antonio’s break ended, he still hadn’t heard back from Scott. It was eleven thirty. Scott was probably in bed. It was Thursday night after all.

  Antonio didn’t care. He pulled out his phone and tapped Scott’s number. The call went straight to voice mail. That was odd. Maybe his phone was turned off. In any case, Antonio had missed his chance. He’d have to hear Scott’s news tomorrow.

  The club was packed. People were loving the newest dancers, and tonight’s DJ was a club favorite. Antonio was so busy mixing drinks that he didn’t think about Scott until the man himself walked into the club at one a.m.

  Antonio nearly dropped a glass. When he had a grip on it again, he set it on the bar and tried to remember how to breathe. A customer was trying to get his attention, but he couldn’t look away from Scott.

  Scott hadn’t answered his phone because he was on a plane.

  Finally, Antonio turned to the customer. “I’m sorry, what do you need?”

  “Vodka martini.”

  Thank goodness that was something he could make in his sleep. He served it up and then turned to the next customer. From the corner of his eye, he could see Scott was near the far end of the bar, right where he’d been the first time he’d showed up at Sparks.

  Trevor, the new bartender working with Antonio, leaned in as he brushed past him. “I called for backup.”

  “Thanks.” For once Antonio wasn’t going to complain that everyone knew his business.

  He waved to Scott and tried to indicate he’d be there as soon as he could. Scott smiled, looking relieved. Had he thought Antonio would be mad he’d showed up? Should he be?

  He was thrilled, and that ought to be answer enough to the questions he’d been pondering.

  He kept serving drinks until Alex, who helped tend bar when they were shorthanded, showed up. “I hear your man is here.”

  “Yes. Thanks.” Antonio scooted around the bar.

  Scott stood, and they moved toward a corner that, while not quiet, was at least less crowded.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to tell you my big news.”

  Antonio stared at him, disbelieving. “You came all the way to New York just to tell me something?”

  “You’ll understand once you know what it is.”

  “Then tell me.”

  Scot
t looked skeptical. “Here?”

  Antonio was going to lose his mind. “Yes, here. I can’t wait anymore.”

  Scott grinned. He was clearly fucking proud of himself. “You’re sure you don’t want to wait until you’re off work?”

  “If you don’t tell me now, I’ll—”

  Scott took his hands, and Antonio forgot about making up a threat. “When I was in New York before, I had a job interview. The company called me today, and…”

  “And?” Antonio’s heartbeat whooshed in his ears.

  “I got the job.”

  “Really?”

  Scott nodded. “I have a job in New York.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that’s why you were in the city?”

  “At first I didn’t want to seem creepy, like I assumed you’d want me back if I moved here. Then I wasn’t sure if you’d want to know, or if I should wait. I didn’t want to jinx it or get your hopes up, and… I was a little bit scared.”

  “I wanted this time apart because I was considering whether I’d move to Boston.”

  “What? You actually thought about moving?”

  Antonio still couldn’t believe this was happening. “If I’d known…”

  “I should’ve told you.”

  “Yeah, probably. Tyler, Marcus’s boyfriend, told me we should talk more.”

  “So what do you think?”

  “You’re going to take it, right?”

  Their questions ran together.

  “You first,” Antonio said.

  “You told me you need us to be completely together or not see each other at all. If I move to New York, we could truly be together. Is that what you want? Because if not, I’ll turn the job down.”

  “It’s a big city. We could both live here without—”

  Scott took a step back. “So you don’t want to—”

  “No! I just… I wouldn’t want you to give up a job for me.”

  “I treated you like shit. I refused to believe you. I took the word of an asshole at work, a man I hated.”

  “You were hurt. You thought—”

  “But I should never have thought it. If you want me far away, then say it, and I’ll stay in Boston. Because if I’m in New York and you’re here too, I won’t be able to think about anything but how much I want to be with you.”