Assignment- Baby

by Lynne Marshall

  "Six weeks ago, Dr. Phillips and I met twenty patients in dire need of shaping up their heart health. Today, nineteen of you will be the first to graduate from the Mending Hearts Club program, and a twentieth will receive an honorary certificate of completion." She nodded toward Jack Howling, who smiled back.

  "Over the last six weeks, through hard work, dietary changes and exercise, we've seen a collective four-hundred-point drop in total cholesterol, a two-hundred-and-fifty-point drop in triglycerides, a one-hundred-and-forty-point increase in HDL, and a two-hundred-point decrease in LDL. Every single participant now has a cholesterol ratio within normal limits."

  The crowd, made up of hospital bigwigs, Mending Hearts Club students, family and friends, applauded.

  "The average blood pressure has decreased by ten points, and resting heart rates have dropped by seven beats per minute. We've collectively lost a hundred pounds!"

  More applause.

  "But the most important statistic is one that cannot be measured, for it will last a lifetime. One hundred percent of you report that you generally feel better and have more energy than when you began this program. And your lab results reflect that change. Again, through everyone's hard work, along with Dr. Phillips and my efforts on your behalf, we have learned positive behavior modification which will benefit each and every one of you in every aspect of your lives. I sincerely hope these new habits are ingrained in your hearts and minds as you prepare to leave here today, and that you will maintain your new vigor for the rest of your lives. Now it's up to you."

  Amanda took her time gazing across the auditorium. So many faces, both familiar and strange, smiled back. This was the moment she'd dreamed about since she'd earned her master's degree—a time when her efforts would prove her capabilities.

  "I'd like to think we've all been given a second chance for a fresh start in life, and I can only hope none of us wastes it. If you'll each step forward when I call your name, Dr. Phillips will hand out your certificates."

  At the sound of his name, Hunter rushed forward and joined her at the podium. His presence, and the soon-to-be absence of it, wrapped her in a veil of longing. She handed him the computer-printed certificates. He gave an encouraging smile, and she tensed when their fingers brushed. Static electricity ran up her arm. Amanda read out the first name to distract herself.

  An hour later, after a reception of punch, low-fat cookies and fruit gelatin, the first graduates of the Mending Hearts Club had all gone home. And Amanda had been given the best news of her life. Mercy Hospital, knowing how cost-effective preventive medicine was, had agreed to sponsor her program for their health maintenance organization patients at all three California Mercy hospitals—and she would be the facilitator.

  One of her professional dreams had come true! She'd created, formed and hatched the program, then brought it to fruition…with the help of Hunter.

  The only thing left was the finishing touch to her medical journal article and Hunter's official seal of approval. The next step would be earning her PhD. Nothing could stop her now.

  Taking to heart Hunter's jibes about her "life is work" attitude, she'd tried to lighten up over the past six weeks—except it had backfired where Hunter was concerned. He'd taught her that being less strict with her diet wasn't the end of the world, that a night off from work for a movie was time well spent, and that laughter was always the best medicine. Hell, hadn't she been the one to start their pillow fight? She was far from being incapable of change.

  And, since there was no time like the present, she gathered her confidence and searched him out. Snaking through the guests, she found Hunter and tugged on his sleeve.

  His eyes brightened when he turned to find her there.

  Amanda gave Jade a hug and Sophie a kiss. The happy response from both was genuine.

  "You look wonderful," she said to Jade.

  "And so do you," Jade answered, showing no hint of depression.

  "Hi, sweet pea. I've missed you."

  Sophie's legs pumped and kicked with excitement.

  "Oh, wait," Jade said. "Watch this." She put Sophie down and helped her gain her balance. With Jade barely holding on to one finger, the baby took several steps. Jade beamed her pride, then let go, and Sophie took the next three steps all by herself. "She just started walking last week!" The grin on Jade's face was close to the greatest gift Amanda had ever been given.

  "That's so wonderful."

  Hunter smiled benevolently at her. It was the first time in over a week that he'd looked her in the eyes for more than a heart beat. Their little secret about Sophie's first steps would always be safe.

  The grandmother of the Mending Hearts Club rushed over and applauded Sophie's feat, then introduced herself to Jade, flipped out her grandchildren's pictures, and began an animated conversation. Seizing the opportunity, Amanda turned to Hunter with a flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

  "I saved a special bottle of champagne for today. I know things have been kind of stiff between us for the past couple of weeks, but I think we deserve to celebrate after all the hard work we've done. You feel like helping me celebrate?"

  The pleased gaze of his molasses-colored eyes was all the answer she needed.

  * * *

  Hunter wasn't going to kid himself. Mandy had suggested a picnic, most likely to avoid being alone with him in her house. She didn't trust him to keep his hands off her. Could he blame her?

  Instead, they had agreed to meet and dine under the stars on the hillside of the Serena Vista Presidential Library. From there they had a sweeping view of the surrounding hills and mountains, where several communities were tucked into the winding expanse of the valley floor. In the distance, hundreds and thousands of lights sparkled like an intricate diamond necklace across the hills. A warm summer breeze playfully lifted Mandy's hair as she served their dinner from deli containers onto paper plates.

  Hunter smiled when she handed him a pink plastic flute of champagne.

  "This time it's my turn to make the toast," she said.

  Savoring her uncomplicated beauty, he nodded. He watched for nuances in her expressions, searching for clues about her feelings for him, but failed to read past her smile. She'd told him point-blank what he'd need to do to win her back. At least she'd been up-front about it this time.

  She stood proudly, the victor of her professional dream.

  He lifted his glass as she began.

  "To dreams. To health. To never giving up. To hero mentors with nieces full of life." She tossed him a playful glance. "And, finally, to our success."

  They clicked and drained their glasses, and Mandy quickly refilled them.

  Maybe it was the open sky, or the balmy end-of-summer night. Maybe it was sharing this special moment with the lady he wanted more than anything else in the world. But Hunter felt compelled to share the truth about his dad's letter with her. She'd told him to read it. From now on he wanted to share everything with Mandy.

  "I read my father's letter."

  She stopped mid-sip, interest blooming in her eyes.

  "He said I made him prouder than anything he'd ever done for himself when I decided to go to medical school and got accepted. He realized how he'd failed me as a father. Even apologized." Hunter scratched the back of his neck and pondered on how different things could have been. "You were right, Mandy. In his own messed-up way he loved me. He just had a lousy way of showing it.

  "After he died, when my mother found and gave me the letter, I asked her why he'd never given it to me. She said her hunch was he'd been ashamed. She admitted she'd talked him into giving me something practical. As I recall, it was a check for a few thousand dollars. Like a fool, he listened to her. How could he think money was more important than telling me he loved me?"

  Mandy caressed his cheek and peered into his eyes with what could only be described as a look of empathy. Not love.

  He couldn't bear to think of Mandy pitying him, so pulled away and finished his drink in one swallow. Since
he'd skipped lunch, the fizzy bubbles went directly to his head, and Mandy's soft features and delicate skin became a temptation he found too hard to resist.

  "Will you dance with me?" he asked.

  When she slowly nodded, he was surprised and extremely pleased. But what about music?

  He pulled out his iPod, chose a slow dance and put an earphone into one of each of their ears. Then he pressed Play. The music swelled seductively when he took her into his arms as though this was exactly where she belonged. He slowly guided her around the grass in the evening light.

  A soulful male voice sang an old classic about love. No one invaded their privacy. Tonight the hillside and the heavens were all theirs. Mandy held her champagne flute in one hand and shared sips with him as they slowly danced forehead to chin, round and round. His hands rested comfortably at the small of her back. A perfect fit.

  "You mentioned today that everyone had been given a second chance?" he said.

  She smiled and nodded, though her eyes were closed and her mind was obviously distracted by the lush music. The smell of night-blooming jasmine, the soft caress of an early-September breeze, the tart and tantalizing taste of champagne—all things he was acutely aware of, and he imagined she felt them, too. But for him there was something more. Surely she knew how precious she was to him?

  "Mandy, I've been thinking."

  A smile stretched across her glistening lips.

  "I'd like you to give me a second chance."

  Her eyes popped open. They stopped dancing. The serene expression that had covered her face the prior second changed to one filled with questions. He felt her tense in his arms.

  "The thing is, before I never totally let you into my life. I set boundaries we couldn't cross, and when you changed our plans and mentioned children, I freaked out. All the pain I felt as a child came rushing back, and I couldn't bear the thought of hurting a kid of my own."

  Her eyebrows lifted at his explanation.

  "Okay, so Jade told me that part. But you were right. Having Sophie around added so much to my life. Sharing her with you brought me greater happiness than I ever thought possible. What I'm trying to say is I realize I'm not my father. You'd never let me get away with being like that. I'm—"

  Amanda put her fingers against Hunter's lips to stop him from saying another word. Three years ago this speech was what she'd longed to hear. She'd prayed he'd come around to her way of looking at things. Now, after living with Hunter and Sophie, and especially since they'd moved out, she, too, had come to realize the importance of putting a child first. Maybe that knowledge was the key to why she'd spent her whole life trying to prove herself good enough to her parents…and the world. If only she could accept herself.

  Take a chance. He deserves to know. Open your mouth and tell him.

  The truth stuck in her throat.

  If he knew about her heart condition, he'd treat her as if she were fragile, and quite possibly use it as an excuse to stop her from fulfilling her big dream. It might give him the excuse to insist again that career and family didn't balance out, and force her to make a choice. They both already knew how that scenario had worked out.

  Old pain from the knowledge that she hadn't changed nearly as much as she'd hoped tore at the corners of her mind. The last thing she wanted to do was battle her demons tonight. Not on the night of her victory.

  "Hunter, for tonight let's not talk about the past or the future. Let's just be in the moment. Right here. Right now. Just dance with me."

  But he'd brought up a subject she couldn't drop from her mind. He'd once told her she wasn't ready to care for a baby, and he had been right when he'd chastised her all those years ago. "You couldn't care for a houseplant, let alone a child." He hadn't had any more confidence in her then than her parents. Maybe he had been right. Then.

  How could she put a child first when working full-time and going to school while wholeheartedly pursuing her career? Living with Sophie had shown her how time-consuming and demanding a baby could be. Who would pay the price for her academic pursuits? An innocent child? She'd finally seen the light.

  Determined to see things out, she'd made some minor changes in her plans. Now she'd rearranged her dreams to go full speed ahead with her education and then, once she'd obtained her PhD, settle down to begin the life and the family she'd always longed for. But could Hunter wait that long? And could he accept her as she was?

  Everything had changed when she'd been diagnosed with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. Now she didn't even know if her heart could handle a pregnancy. The fanciful family dream had seemed so unlikely until recently that she'd never thought to ask her doctor about childbearing.

  Hunter deserved to know about her medical condition and her big secret—that she'd fallen in love with him again. But she wasn't ready to open her heart and tell him the writing on her soul just yet. Not before she had her plans worked out. Until then, she couldn't take the risk.

  "Let's just dance," she repeated, forcing her mind to focus away from all the thoughts twirling inside her head to the music and the night…and Hunter.

  * * *

  On her doorstep, Amanda gently kissed a severely perplexed Hunter goodbye. "I promise to sort things out. We'll talk…soon."

  What would it be like not to see him every day now that the Mending Hearts Club was over? She missed him already.

  "If you really mean what you said, maybe we can test the waters for getting back together."

  "I've never been more serious, Mandy."

  Judging by the sincere glint in his eyes, she believed every word. So why wasn't she rushing into his arms and telling him she loved him?

  Because she hadn't been honest with Hunter.

  "I hope you'll understand that I need more time to think this through."

  "It's been three years, Mandy. What's a few more days?" he said with a rueful expression as he walked into the night.

  Maybe after she'd worked everything out, she'd tell him about her heart condition.

  First thing after arriving home, she walked to her bedroom and went online to look up PhD degrees in nursing that offered part-time programs. Maybe she could work part-time and go to school part-time and still manage to have a life…with Hunter? And if she couldn't risk a pregnancy herself, maybe they could adopt?

  Dare she so much as think of the possibility?

  Afraid to let her dreams take flight, she concentrated on the computer screen until she found what she was looking for. She'd lost track of time when an instant message popped up. It was from Hunter.

  Hi. Want to go for a run with me tomorrow morning?

  What was he up to? He'd offered his heart and she'd cut him off. He wasn't backing down. And running always helped clear her mind. He'd understood all her qualms tonight, promised her time and space to work things out, but obviously he had no intention of letting things lie. It was definitely time to cut the guy some slack.

  Sounds good to me.

  She wrote back, thankful he hadn't taken her kiss-off at the door the wrong way.

  I'll meet you at 9 o'clock. H.

  I'll be here. Good night. A.

  Amanda printed out applications for two nearby schools that offered a part-time doctorate in nursing before she went to bed. If he was willing to bend, so could she.

  But were they really meant to get back together?

  Fear and doubt, like a wicked cold wind, blew through her tenuous confidence, sending her to bed with a chilled and heavy heart and keeping her awake most of the night.

  * * *

  As arranged, Hunter arrived on Mandy's doorstep at five minutes to nine on Saturday morning. She opened the door, squinting into the bright sun.

  "Good morning," she said.

  "Yes, it is." Would he ever get used to the impact she had on him? He took her in as a lazy smile spread across his face. Thanks to keeping a diet journal and eating better, she'd put a few pounds back on, and it looked great on her.

  Their gazes locked and lin
gered as messages of wonder and lust jumped back and forth between them…at least on his side. He had no intention of letting her forget how much he wanted her.

  "Let's go," she said, all business, closing the front door behind her.

  They warmed up with a walk to the end of the block, before switching to a jog and finally running.

  The sun soon baked the back of his neck, warming him to the point of sweating, and Mandy's expression changed to one of concentration. She stretched out her steps and resembled a gazelle as they worked their way up a long incline.

  "Have you done any more thinking about what I said last night?" he asked.

  She glanced at him with a wild-doe look in her eyes.

  "I'm sorry for pressing you, but I've figured a few things out since reading my father's letter. I never completely gave myself to you when we were married because I didn't know any better. And your parents never believed in you enough for you to trust loving anyone who couldn't believe in you and your dreams."

  Her eyes brightened, then subtly dimmed. "Did Jade tell you to say that?"

  He nodded guiltily.

  "Do you know how many times I've asked myself why you let me walk away?" she said.

  The words stabbed like a knife. "Mandy, I'm sorry."

  "Why didn't you fight for me?"

  His failure at being the husband she'd deserved made him want to give up. But he wouldn't this time. He'd lay it all out as honestly as he could. Even if the picture was an ugly one. "I didn't know how."

  Tears glistened in her eyes, and she cast him an indefinable glance as she dug in and ran harder.

  At the top of the hill, she seemed to struggle, but she made it. Okay, she didn't want to talk about it while they were running. He could understand that. Downhill was a breeze. But he wouldn't let her avoid the topic today, as she'd done last night. After the run, he'd press for a response.

  Toward the end of the next block, her hand flew to her neck to check her pulse.

  Concerned, Hunter slowed down. "Are you all right?"

  She stopped running, and seemed far more out of breath than she normally would have been after such a short distance. "I…I need to go the ER." She could barely get the words out.