Beautifully Insightful

by K. C. Lynn

  “I know you didn’t,” I rush to reassure him. A long moment of silence surrounds us, and my stomach drops when he doesn’t respond. “You don’t want me,” I state softly.

  “Fuck. No, that’s not it, baby, I swear,” he rushes to say, his forehead dropping on mine. “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I just don’t want you thinking I came here for this.”

  “I know that. This doesn’t have anything to do with what brought you here.” I wrap my arms around his neck and move in closer. “I want to feel you. I need you, Ryder. I’ve been so scared since yesterday. I just want to forget about everything but us. I want to get lost in the world we create together, rather than the one we live in.”

  I sense his breathing turn heavy and I swear I can hear his teeth grind. He cups the back of my neck and leans in closer. “You sure about this, baby?”

  “Yes. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life. I want…” My words get cut off by his kiss, one that has my body igniting all over again.

  He pulls back a long minute later and lays a hand between my breasts, coaxing me to my back. He stays kneeling between my legs and I sense him lean over me before I feel his warm lips on my stomach. I gasp and my body quivers from the simple touch. He slowly slides my panties down as his mouth descends, and my pleasure suddenly turns into trepidation the lower he gets. I stiffen and feel my face flame when I hear him inhale a deep breath and groan.

  “Ryder, what are you doing?” I ask shakily.

  “I’m going to taste you, Emily, and I’m going to make you come really hard while doing it, because I don’t know how long I am going to last once I get inside of you.”

  I swallow nervously. “Well, uh, that’s okay we could just… Oh!” I trail off on a gasp and my back bows off the bed as I feel his warm, wet tongue take a long, leisurely lick of my most sensitive part.

  “Oh fuck, I knew you would taste so damn good,” he growls, just before splaying a hand low on my tummy, to hold me in place, while he delves in a second time.

  My embarrassment forgotten, my feet find their place on his shoulders and my hips thrust up against his mouth greedily, taking everything he gives. If I thought what his fingers did to me yesterday was good, that is nothing compared to this. I’ve never felt anything like it.

  “Oh god, Ryder, it’s so good.” My fingers grip his hair tightly as my body soars to highs I’ve never known. I’m so close already, my body teetering on the edge of explosion, but I try to hold back, not wanting this to end.

  Somehow Ryder senses it. “Don’t hold back, baby, come apart for me.” His words vibrate against my clit just before he takes the swollen nub between his lips, causing me to shatter.

  Sensations slam into me, drowning out the sound of my pleasure. I am so thankful my house is huge and my parent’s bedroom is on the opposite side of mine. Ryder doesn’t let up until he takes every ounce of pleasure from me. He kisses the inside of my thigh while I try to catch my breath and float back down to reality.

  I feel him stand a moment later and sense him stare at me. Even though what he just did to me was so intimate I still feel rather exposed, so I grab my blanket to cover myself, but his hands stop my efforts. “Please don’t hide from me, Em, you’re fucking perfect, baby.”

  My stomach does a little flip at the sincerity of his words and I give him a small smile before letting go of the blanket. I’ve never had anyone make me feel as beautiful as he does.

  I hear the sound of his belt a moment later as he rids himself of his pants. Next is the sound of a wrapper being ripped open, and my heart thunders in both nervousness and anticipation. I feel him come over me a moment later, his bare body blanketing mine, and again it’s like a shock to my system, but even more so it has warmth flooding my heart.

  “Are you sure about this, Em?” Ryder whispers. “We can stop now, and I can just hold you.”

  I shake my head, dismissing his suggestion right away. “I’m sure. I want to feel you everywhere.”

  I hear him release what sounds like a relieved breath before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. He rises up a moment later and I feel the tip of his erection slip into me. My legs clamp around his hips and I gasp at the tight invasion.

  “Oh fuck!” he groans. “Try to relax, baby.” I loosen my grip on his hips and breathe through the fiery, yet exquisite pleasure my body is going through. He stills once he’s buried as deep as he can go, giving me time to adjust. “You okay, Em?” he grinds out huskily, concern evident in his tone.

  “Yes, it feels a little better, just go slow.”

  He does, slowly rocking in and out of me, filling my heart as he fills my body. “Open your eyes, Em.” I open them, not realizing they were even closed until he said something. I sense his face close to mine, and he plants a soft kiss at the corner of my eye. “You’re so beautiful, and you feel so fucking perfect.”

  I swallow thickly, the insecurities my mother scarred on my heart, about my disability, disappearing with every sincere word he breathes. “You do too,” I whisper softly. My hands immediately find his face, needing to see him, but, for the first time in my life, my touch isn’t enough. I swallow back my resentment at not being able to truly see him. To look into his incredible, dark green eyes I hear so much about while he completes my soul.

  Before I can stop it a single tear escapes, which has Ryder stilling. “What’s wrong, baby, do you want me to stop?”

  I shake my head. “For the first time in my life I’m resenting my disability. I hate that I can’t see you right now.” My breath hitches as I struggle to hold in my pain.

  His hand encircles my wrist and he presses a soft kiss to the inside of my palm before laying it back on his face. “You see me, Em, far better than anyone else ever has. All you need to do now is feel me, baby. Just feel me.”

  I think about his words and smile. He always knows what to say to make everything right. My fingers trace the familiar curves and lines of his face, and I notice one side is more pronounced than the other, which is not how it normally is. I quickly remember his earlier upset tonight. “Ryder?”

  I feel him shake his head. “Forget it, Em, just think about this, only me inside of you and how perfect it is.”

  I know someone hurt him tonight, which in return hurts me, but I try to tamp it down and do what he says, not wanting anything to ruin this moment. I wrap my arms around his neck to bring him closer and press a careful kiss to the swollen part of his jaw. “I love you, Ryder.” I feel him falter but I don’t stop. “I love everything about you and I think you’re absolutely perfect,” I tell him truthfully, knowing no one has ever told him that before, but they should have because it’s the truth.

  He drops his forehead to mine and I feel his breathing turn heavy. “No one is going to fuck with this, Em. You hear me? You are mine!” he grinds out and starts thrusting into me possessively.

  “Yes, yours!” I agree breathlessly, because it’s the truth. For the first time in my life I finally do feel like I belong, that I am where I was always meant to be. With Ryder.

  “That’s right, baby, and I will not let anyone keep you from me.” His pace increases and turns almost desperate. I know he’s talking about my father and the impending doom we are waiting for.

  I wrap one of my legs around his hip, wanting to feel more of him. “Never, I won’t ever leave you, no matter what,” I whisper reassuringly, wanting him to know that nothing my father says or does will ever make me leave him.

  He buries his face in my neck but doesn’t let his thrusts falter. My nails dig into his shoulders and I hold on to him with the same desperation.

  “Oh fuck! I don’t think I can hold back much longer, baby. You feel too damn good.”

  “Don’t hold back, just let go.” I lift my hips to match his frantic thrusts, my body more accepting of his now.

  “Fuck,” he groans a moment later then stills when he’s seated deep inside of me, finally letting go. He settles more on top of me but is
careful to keep from crushing me with his weight. I hold him close while we catch our breaths and reflect on what just happened.

  “You okay?” he whispers, his lips close to my ear.

  “Yes, I’ve never been more okay in my entire life.”

  Giving me a long kiss on the forehead, he pulls out of me with a groan and I instantly miss his connection. He leaves to use my washroom and I feel Summer jump back up on the bed. Oops. I guess she kind of lost her spot. I giggle, feeling a little weird at what she just witnessed, and give her a kiss on the head. “Sorry, girl.” She gives me a lick and rubs against the side of my face, not seeming all that upset.

  “That dog better not be taking my spot.”

  I bite my lip with a smirk. “This dog’s name is Summer. She is my guide dog and my very best friend.”

  “Guide dog?”

  “Yes, and this is actually her spot, but I’m sure I can work something out for you.”

  He grunts, which makes me giggle, and I lead Summer to the foot of my bed so Ryder can crawl back in. He wastes no time doing so and he gives me a long, slow, leisurely kiss before pulling me down next to him and wrapping me in his arms. It’s my very favorite place to be, not only because I love being so close to him but also because he makes me feel safe. When he holds me like this I feel like we are in our own world, one that’s impenetrable, and no one can take it away from us.

  “So tell me about your dog. What does she do?”

  Smiling, I turn on my side and his fingers find their place on my bare back, drawing lazy, soft circles. “She’s probably one of the smartest dogs you will ever meet. She is trained to do amazing things. To press elevator buttons, to judge height and width of something so I don’t run into anything, she stops at curbs and doesn’t cross unless it’s safe do so. I only put her harness on and use her as my guide dog if I’m not familiar with my surroundings. We have to work together, but she really does take care of me. She always has my back if I ever misjudge anything. I never have to worry about her leading me in the wrong direction.”

  “I have to admit that’s pretty cool and I’m glad she takes care of you even though I know you’re fine on your own.”

  I smile. “You’re right I am, but I love having her too.”

  A comfortable silence settles over us, and my hands find his face so I can see him. I trace his lips, which has him pressing a kiss to my fingers. I move across the swollen part of his jaw and gentle my touch, remembering his earlier upset. “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier tonight?”

  “Not really, no,” he replies quietly.

  I push on nervously, hoping he will open up. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset.”

  He’s quiet for a long moment before he finally opens up. “I just hate it here, Em. I fucking hate it so much. I especially hate who and where I come from and that it completely defines me.”

  “It doesn’t define you,” I reply softly, running my fingers through his hair. “Other people may let that define you, but that doesn’t mean it’s who you are. That just means they’re judgmental assholes.”

  “Did you just say assholes?” he asks with a hint of amusement in his tone.

  “Yes, I did, now be quiet, I’m not finished.”

  He chuckles and pulls me closer. “Damn, Em, I like this riled up side of yours.”

  “Oh be quiet.” I giggle, but quickly become serious once again. “I mean it, Ryder. No one defines who you are but yourself, and anyone that knows you, and I mean really knows you, will see you’re amazing and perfect. Just like I do.”

  I sense him staring at me and I wait for him to say something, but instead of answering I notice his fingers change direction from the lazy circles they were just drawing moments ago. They start drawing sharp lines and I try to follow its pattern. My heart stalls in my chest when I think he just spelled something out but I can’t be sure. When he moves back up to the top and starts again, I pay closer attention and realize I was right, that he’s spelling a message. After he finishes for the second time I know he just spelled ‘I love you’. I lay still, not knowing if I should respond, just in case I’m wrong, but thankfully I don’t have to.

  “Do you know what I just wrote, Em?” he asks softly, with an edge of vulnerability in his voice.

  “Yes. I- I think so.”

  He suddenly flips me over so I’m on my back and the top half of his body comes over mine. I feel his face close, his breath whispering across my lips. “Come with me, Emily.”

  “Where?” I ask in confusion.

  “I’ve been accepted to the University Of Florida and I want you to come with me.”

  Shock has me stilling. “What? But- but how? I have school.”

  “We can get you distance learning or something. I’ll help you.”

  “But what about money? I can’t work right now, Ryder, and with my disability…”

  “You don’t have to. Thanks to Hector, I have a job lined up already with his cousin who owns a garage there. He is going to take me on and let me work around my classes.”

  I shake my head, my mind having a hard time comprehending all this, and then feel him rest his forehead on mine. “I’ll take care of you, Em. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

  My throat burns with emotion and I swallow thickly before laying my hand on the side of his face. “Oh, Ryder, I know you would, it’s not that, but I don’t want you to take care of me, at least not like that. You’re going to have school, a job, I don’t want you to have to worry about taking care of me too.”

  “I don’t give a shit about any of that. This is the only way I can think of that we can be together. We can get the fuck away from all this shit and live in a place where no one knows us. Where we come from won’t matter there.”

  I think about everything he says, my mind running a million miles a minute. I desperately want to say yes, but… I know I can’t. At least not yet, not until I’m more independent. I don’t want to have to rely on him. I want to be able to contribute. If only my trust fund from my grandmother was accessible then it would at least help, but right now I have nothing to offer.

  He senses my answer through my silence. “Never mind, it was a stupid idea,” he says before laying back down beside me.

  “No, it wasn’t,” I rush to say and sit up. “I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, but I just…”

  “Em, it’s fine, really, just forget about it.” The finality of his tone has me lying back down. He puts an arm over me, but it’s not the same as it was a few minutes ago. I can sense he’s upset, which has my throat clogging with emotion. Not only because I don’t want him to be mad at me, but also because I know he’s been accepted and will be leaving for Florida soon.

  Tears begin to spill down my cheeks, I try to keep them silent but a little sniffle escapes before I can stop it. Ryder releases a deep breath before coming over top of me again. “Come on, Em, please don’t cry.”

  I shake my head and try to swallow past my tears so I can respond. “I just don’t want you to be mad. I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, I really do. I love you so much, but…”

  “I know, baby. I’m not mad, I promise. It was just a thought.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I tell him, my words falling off on a small sob.

  “You aren’t going to lose me, I promise. We will think of another way. Let’s just enjoy tonight for what it is and worry about it tomorrow, okay?”

  I nod and he leans in to give me one more kiss. One that completely connects our souls and locks us in our own world, one I never want to live without.

  Chapter 7

  Ryder

  The sound of a gasp pulls me from a deep sleep. My eyes snap open and I see a Mexican lady staring at Emily and me in horror, which has me realizing I fell asleep. Oh fuck! I look down at Emily draped across my chest and I’m thankful to see her nightgown is back in place. I clear my throat, wondering how I should start damage control when Emily lulls from sleep.

  “Emil
y Michaels, are you crazy?” the lady shouts in a loud whisper before closing the door behind her.

  Emily shoots up in a panic, still half asleep. I quickly steady her and glare at the bitch who’s yelling at her. “Rosa… I-I.”

  “It’s my fault, not hers,” I say as I grab my shirt off the floor and throw it over my head. The lady watches me nervously, and I’m fucking thankful my pants are on. I fully intended to leave last night, but Emily felt so damn good next to me. I don’t remember sleep taking me.

  I lean over now and pull Emily into my arms. “I accidentally fell asleep. Sorry, Em.”

  She lays a hand on my face. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to.” I encircle her wrist and kiss the palm of her hand.

  “You are lucky your father left early this morning,” the lady cuts in, still sounding pissed, but her expression is a little softer as she watches us. “But your mother is in the shower. So you need to get out right now!” she adds, pointing directly at me.

  “I’ll see you in trig, baby.” Since we are already busted I don’t hold back from kissing her.

  Her cheeks turn pink but she gives me her usual smile that knocks me on my ass. “Bye, Ryder.”

  I stand and move to make my exit out the window when the lady intercepts me. “What are you doing, you stupid boy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I rear back in shock. Jesus, she’s feisty for being little. She shakes her head then grabs me by the arm. “Come, now, I’ll sneak you out the front, but we have to hurry.”

  I let her drag me out of the room and hear Emily giggle just as the lady closes the door behind us. I follow along beside her through the massive house and try to ignore her questioning eyes, hoping that will keep her silent, unfortunately it doesn’t. “You must end this.”

  I shake my head. “No, I won’t. No one is going to keep me from her.”

  She expels a worried sigh and stops me once we get to the bottom of the stairs. “Listen to me. I know you guys care about each other, I can see that, but you do not know what you are getting involved in when it comes to her father. You are not only putting yourself in danger but you are risking Emily’s safety as well.”